I love holdiay traditions. Especially when that means not having to come up with new blog content to amuse y’all. So this year you get – once again – the ever popular ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas (aka The Soi Twilight Soi Stroll) updated, of course, with new holiday meat. By now you should know all the words, so feel free to sing along:
Twas the night before Christmas, when all down the soi,
Sex tourists were creeping, in search of a boy.
Neon lights were all strung – god only knows how,
While barkers yelled loudly their call of, “Show Now!”
The boys were all listless, but strutting their stuff,
Each a vision of youth, lined up in the buff.
Mamasan was in drag, the captain in a tux,
The boys were all wistful of making some bucks.
When out on the soi arose such a clatter,
The bar emptied out to see what was the matter.
The barkers were shouting, the soi all astir,
While at Maxi’s and Dick’s they all downed more liqueur.
The moon over Bangkok, red lights all aglow,
Brewed a promise of sex in the scene down below.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a rare sight these days: a live customer!
Avoiding the touts, he made quite a mad dash,
And they knew right away it just might mean some cash.
Mamasan got busy, big profits her aim,
She shrilled out her orders, calling each boy by name.
“Hey Somwang! You Sompong! Little Lek boy, Aek too!
Now Tui, Wit and Mongon! Come On! All of you!
Get up on the stage now! Get out of your clothes!
Hurry up and look lively! Get into your row!”
The music began as the lights went to dim,
The boys eyed the doorway; an old man stepped in.
With an insincere wai, then an order of beer,
The boys began dancing now that payday was here.
With candle wax dripping, hard cocks to enjoy,
Mamasan saw dollars, and asked, “You want boy?”
The old man was drooling, abandoned to fate,
“Too many to choose from, but I’ll try number eight.”
“Where you from? Where you stay?” the cute bar boy cried.
“ I tink I love you,” the cute bar boy then lied.
The old man was smitten in a blink of the eye,
“How much will this cost me?” “Up to you,” the reply.
The show wasn’t over, live sex acts still on tap,
“Tip Me!” screeched the boy fucking on the falang’s lap.
“Everyting,” was the promise of what he could do,
So the check bin was tallied, the off fee paid too.
They strolled down the sidewalk: a straight boy, an old queer,
It wasn’t a long walk, the hotel was quite near.
Suriwongse has rooms, for rent by the hour,
A quick dash upstairs, then into the shower.
With lights turned down low – this bar boy was sure modest!
It took near forever, to get him undressed.
The blue pill kicked in, the falang started to stroke,
Then pointed at his cock, and gently asked, “Sa-moke?”
The boy spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He blew, then he sucked, and finished off with a jerk.
Cleaning up with a tissue from head down to toes,
And giving a nod, off the bed he then rose.
His smile was heart melting, a quick kiss, just some lip,
With a sweet gracious wai he accepted his tip.
“Melly Clitmas to you,” he said at the door,
“I tink I take taxi, please 500 baht more?”
Wishing You, Yours
– and the guy you paid to spend the night with –
A Very Warm and Merry Christmas!