The days that Brazil opens it legs wide to welcome the world to the Games of the XXXI Olympiad are just around the corner.

With just over a year to go before the Olympic Opening Ceremonies take the stage in Rio de Janeiro, I know y’all been thinking it’s way past the time I shoulda began my Olympic-size coverage of the Games. My bad. Especially since I know how many of you check my blog daily just hoping for a post about sporting events of any kind. And while a very few in the minority may feel that August 5, 2016, the day the Games of the XXXI Olympiad are scheduled to begin, is soon enough, since the hot athletes of the world are already sweating their little bodies out to be in line for a coveted berth on their respective nation’s team the least I can do is to provide a bit of coverage of those hot, sweating bodies.

There are less than 500 days to go, and Rio still has a slum or two to raze for its Olympic stadiums, a few million to spend attempting to clean up Guanabara Bay – described by one leading biologist as a toilet – in time for its use as the sailing and windsurfing venue, an estimated (not to mention astounding) 90% of preparations on infrastructure, stadiums, and the like still to be built (the IOC has made an informal approach to see if Rio is not ready in time London could act as an emergency host city), and the equally Herculean task of cleaning up the city’s current image of being the violent crime capital of the world (Brazil pegs in at some 45,000 homicides each year, or 24.8 violent deaths per 100,000 inhabitants, compared with 4.8 per 100,000 in the United States) which took a minor setback in December when 2012 London Olympic Games silver medallists in the women’s 470 sailing class, Hannah Mills and Saskia Clark, were mugged and robbed at knifepoint after a training session in the 2016 Olympic host city. Which may not bode well for the 1016 Games. Except that Brazil is also known for some of the hottest male bodies on the planet, and that hotness factor will soar when the world’s top-rated athletes hit town. And that means despite problems the Games will go on.

So while it’s still too early to cover Olympian Bruce Jenner’s transition into a lesbian, a world record in its own right – not to mention the dangers of associating with Ryan Seacrest – and while Tom Daley latest efforts always make for a good article, or at least pix of Tom do, since he continues to underwhelm and comes in bottoming to the Chinese divers at international competitions it’s a bit premature to be ejaculating (again) over Tom too. But one of the most delectable pieces of Olympic rice recently made a splash of his own, so this is a good time to check in on China’s most masterful cock swatting athlete, the hunky Lin Dan, or Super Dan as he is known among those who actually consider badminton to be a sport.

Not that Olympic badminton couldn’t use a bit of good PR anyway. Last time around in London, 8 players (from South Korea, Indonesia, and China) were ejected from the Games after being found guilty of “not using best efforts” and “conducting oneself in a manner that is clearly abusive or detrimental to the sport” by playing to lose matches in order to manipulate the draw for the knockout stage. Which is basically how the game is played in China. So while Dan’s recent record is no better than Daley’s – he just lost the Yonex Sunrise India Open during the quarterfinals and started out 2014 104th in the World Ranking – the two-time Olympic champion says he is training hard to be at his best to achieve a record third gold at the Rio Games ‘cuz there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that Lin is China’s cash-cow when it comes to Olympic gold medals and Dan will be landing in Rio regardless of how many matches he loses before then.

But Dan’s record streak of losses isn’t what’s been making the news in China. Appropriately, the 31-year-old stud’s body is what has China all aTwitter. While Queen Elton was busy trying to convince the pink brigade to boycott Dolce & Gabbana for not being in favor of bionic babies, the gay Italian designers were busy lovingly taking photos of their 2013 brand ambassador in as little fashion as possible and the powers that be In China are not amused. Relesaed last week in book form at a gala reception for Dan in Shnaghai, some of the photos have been deemed to be “oversexualized”, and also “inappropriate” due to Lin Dan’s military status. While the general attitude amongst the proletariat has been, “I’d salute that.”

Available on Amazon in early June at a capitalistic selling price of $57, the photo book depicts Lin as a new icon of masculinity. Styled by Gabbana and photographed by Dolce, Dan appears in a variety of settings, each of which interpret a specific role: from the seducer to the Greco-Roman hero, from the gladiator to the great Imperial Emperor, from the aristocratic dandy to the Neapolitan street urchin . . . in other words, every possible scenario Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana’s homoerotic fantasies could inspire. The book, as well as T-shirts with Lin’s image, are now available in all Dolce & Gabbana stores in China.

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