• Gay Thailand and Gay Asia oldest and most visited forum. Click here to visit Gay Thailand forum.

…dancing with the devil in the city of angels…

~ Ramblings, Rumblings and Travel Tales: Bangkok and Beyond

…dancing with the devil in the city of angels…

Category Archives: Travel Commentary & Photography

Gorgeous travel photography and thoughts on the art of travel.

Bonus Shot: It Free!

12 Thursday Mar 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in Bangkok

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Photography

bonus snail 1

Knowing how much y’all been missing Boo Hoo’s far-too-frequent floral posts, in which he’d usually provide the incorrect scientific name for the flower he was writing about, I thought I’d offer you a horticulture-related one of my own today. Okay, so I’m short on time today and this one was an easy out. But at least I didn’t try to slide by with posting a close-up of a flower with a vaguely penis-looking stamen like Georgia O’Keeffe woulda done with vagina for the lesbian crowd.

For those of you to whom nature means changing your Summer Breezes Glade plug-in room freshener, these are snail shells planted with ferns or orchids. The orchids make more sense ‘cuz they tend to be epiphytes, with modified aerial roots, whereas the ferns’ root balls will soon out-grow the size of their shells. Unless ya wanna play hermit crab with your fern. Regardless, the vendor who came up with these puppies is a genius.

Free is a magical word to Thais. No matter what that costs them. And when free translates into cold, hard, baht, ya know the Buddha loves you. In this case this Weekend Market vendor grew a few seedlings or cuttings in shells from dead snails at zero cost, and a month or two later peddled them for 300 baht a pop. Sweet, huh? And I kinda like the karma of a snail spending its life devouring vegetation being used to grow new plants once it had died.

Now I could rest on my florals and consider this post done, but emulating Boo Hoo is not exactly the path to success. So lesbian loving artists aside, I’ll leave you with the Orchis italica, also known as the Fairy Trap Orchid (but not for the reason you’re thinking). ‘Cuz while few of you will now be scouring the flower section of Chatuchak for plants growing in snail shells, the majority of you just clicked over to Google to find out where you could pick up a few little naked lavender men.

bonus snail 2

bonus snail 3

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:
Bonus Shot Nam Khan Monk

Bonus Shot: Nam Khan Monk

Bonus Shot Gold Leaves

Bonus Shot: Gold Leaves

Bonus Shot Making Merit

Bonus Shot: Making Merit

Bonus Shot: Not Nut’s Nuts

05 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in Travel Photography

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Offs

bonus nuts

As inseparable as my camera and I are when traveling I seldom – like never – take photos of bar boys I’ve offed. Noom doesn’t count. He’s not just a paid for conquest. As for the rest, not all appreciate having their photo taken, especially since most customers want that shot showing everything they paid for. And even if they were all agreeable, where do you stop? Just the real hot – and talented – ones? Just those you still can’t believe actually allowed you to spend hours molesting them? If travel photography is supposed to be about memories of your trip, I guess it makes sense to return home with a few hundred photos of all the guys you did on holiday if you spent your nights and days rutting your way through Bangkok. But some of those guys were probably duds. And who wants a memory of that?

One night at Dick’s Cafe I ended up sharing a table with a fellow traveler. It was the easiest way out over what otherwise could have been an argument over who got the next empty table. We hit it off and spent a few hours after dinner enjoying the gogo bars on Soi Twilight. At some point, we started trading bad bar boy tales, stories of those who’d been duds. He’d had one just the night before. The guys was hot, but way too aggressive in my new friend’s opinion. But the night wasn’t a total loss. He’d taken tons of photos of the boy, like almost of every square inch of the dude’s body. They’d already been downloaded to his computer, so I didn’t get to see any of them. But when he began describing the guy’s muscles our mutual admiration of built boys came to light and we headed to Tawan.

Nut, a bar boy I’ve written about before, one of those who eventually became a friend instead of just a sex object, was working that night and as soon as he saw me came running over for a big hug. My companion gave me a strange look. And then managed to find a free moment to say, “That’s the guy!”

Huh. Nut was a sweetheart. Aggressive was not an adjective I’d ever think to use about him. And his acknowledging nod to his customer of the night before said he hadn’t been any more thrilled with his customer than his customer had been with him. Nut too gave me a strange look. Probably needless to say, we split up soon thereafter. Like the companionship of another tourist ever stood a chance against Nut’s naked hotness

As soon as he left Nut asked if he was my friend. I explained we’d just met, had dinner, and that I really didn’t know him. But since Nut did, intimately, he immediately began recounting his view of the previous night. Most of which was pantomiming holding a camera to his face and going, “Click. Click. Click.” Again and again and again.

When we got back to my hotel room, I pulled my camera out as a joke. Nut got it. But also liked the idea of me taking a few shots of him. After he got naked. He didn’t want me taking any photos with both his face and cock in the shot. And didn’t want any of his cock taken until it was hard either. Nut was a grower, not a shower. He’d complained to me in the past about customers who wanted a peak and then wouldn’t off him if he’d been soft. Despite him telling them, as he’d put it, “It get big!”

He wasn’t lying. And big was an understatement. Watching that thing grow out to its full proportions was more amazing than any magic trick David Copperfield ever pulled.

Like with Noom, I have a lot of photos of Nut because we tended to do things outside of the bedroom too. Thanks to that tourist I met who thought he was a dud, I’ve got several of Nut in all his glory too. Just without a face attached. Those of just his cock are buried away somewhere on one of my storage drives. That never happened with this shot. And it does bring back memories of that trip. ‘Cuz it’s one of my favorite Kodak moments from Bangkok. And while I’m sure I didn’t take as many shots as that guy had the night before, I’m even more sure those photos I did take bring back a lot more pleasant memories than his.

7 Shots: Thai Smiles

09 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in 7 Shots

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Photography

Who needs a winning lottery ticket when you're lucky enough to have an umbrella in Thailand?

Who needs a winning lottery ticket when you’re lucky enough to have an umbrella in Thailand?

And you thought I’d already finished beating the Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella pun to death this week . . .

Huh. Who (besides Jabba) ever thought umbrellas in Thailand would be as ubiquitous as the ever popular Plastic Stool? Not me. At least not until I was stuck coming up with a subject for today’s post and turned to my collection of photos I’ve taken while in Thailand for some inspiration. And suddenly, umbrellas were everywhere. And here I thought they were just used by diminutive elderly local women slowly plodding along crowded Bangkok sidewalks where they can unfurl one without warning with the intent of poking some farang’s eyeball out.

7 smiles 2

But no, it turns out that umbrellas crop up in the Kingdom even other times when you least expect them to. Which would be when it is raining. Not that a major downpour is an unusual experience in Thailand, but seeing someone armed with a good umbrella during those times is scarce. You see a lot of cheap umbrellas. The kind that turn inside-out with the first gush of wind. And all the street markets are still festooned with umbrellas during the rains too. The vendors have just been smart enough to unfurl lengths of plastic sheeting above those umbrellas to keep them dry. In fact, you can’t hold a street market without umbrellas. I think it is in the Thai Constitution. Even when it is a night market and there is no rain. Or sun.

7 smiles 3

Flipping through my stock of photos, I got all excited when I ran across a Monk Shot! that was an Umbrella Shot! too. Until I ran across the next one. And another one. And another. There are quite a few wats featuring a Buddha sitting or standing under an umbrella too. And again, my heart began beating faster when I found a photo of Buddha statue carrying an umbrella. Huh. Evidently one of the mudras I forgot to include in my post on that subject was Carrying Umbrella. ‘Cuz I found several shots I’d taken of that not-so-unusual example too. Even if in that particular pose the umbrella is closed. I’m not sure how enlightened you have to be to walk around with a closed umbrella over your shoulder when it’s raining or high noon. But then I’m pretty sure I’ll be coming back in my next life umbrella-less.

7 smiles 4

Rumor has it that some Russian spy, like back in the ’70s, assassinated someone in London by using the poisoned tip of an umbrella. I think there was a Bulgarian involved too. Because that’s the kind of thing Bulgarians would be involved in. Not that that has anything to do with Thailand. Other than with the recent collapse of the ruble Thailand is becoming Russian-less once again. (Shame that.) But I do wish I’d been carrying a poison tipped umbrella on that day I met the bastard who started this whole 7 Shots thingy off. Trying to cull through my umbrella shots for just seven has been a chore. Even after I threw out those from Bali, Cambodia, Laos, Malaysia, and Singapore. On the plus side, that means I can do a 7 Shots post for each of those countries in the future. Just featuring umbrellas.

7 smiles 5

Ditto for a 7 Shots post on umbrellas at wats. Because what surprised me in the number of umbrella shots I’ve taken is how few were photos specifically of an umbrella. At least in SE Asia, umbrellas photobomb your shots frequently. Of course the huge metal umbrellas often seen at Thai temples are an iconic shot and qualify as specific umbrella shots. But evidently the Buddha is quite fond of umbrellas too because they pop up at wats frequently. I even have a photo of a line of bells from a wat in Chiang Mai, each with an umbrella over it. ‘Cuz if an umbrella is good for the Buddha, it’s gotta be good for his bells too. I’ve taken specific shots of umbrellas at the Umbrella Village in Chiang Mai too. ‘Cuz you kinda have to. And I kinda had to include one of those photos in today’s post too. Which made for a much better photo than my friend Helena’s ass with a freshly painted elephant on it, a shot from our day spent at the Umbrella Village that should warn you away from taking that excursion yourself. But don’t worry. I’m pretty sure a 7 Shots post of lesbian ass is not in your future. And since she is my friend, I won’t mention some of the similarities her ass and an umbrella share in common either.

7 smiles 6

Even sticking to those photos just from Thailand that include an umbrella numbered in the hundreds. Seriously. Ubiquitous Umbrella Shot! may become my new photographic meme. I don’t even have to snap any additional ones. So despite Jabba swearing he’s never seen umbrellas for sale in the Kingdom, unless the government gives them away like it does with rice, someone must be offering them somewhere. That or I have an umbrella photo fetish that I wasn’t aware of. So yeah, winnowing my photos down to just seven for today’s post was difficult. And while there were many I liked better and many that were better composed, since I may be starting a new trend my final shot for the day will be an almost unbelievable Ubiquitous Plastic Stool Shot! featuring an umbrella. I know. It’s a good thing it’s Friday so that you have the weekend to recover.

7 smiles 7

Now if I can only find a photo of a monk sitting on a plastic stool holding an umbrella, my life might be complete.

Bonus Shot: Ringing In The New Year

31 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Chiang Mai

≈ Comments Off on Bonus Shot: Ringing In The New Year

Tags

Chiang Mai, Photography

Ringing In The New Year

Going through my photos for a few of bell and gong ringing for a ringing in the new year post – other than those featuring a nude dude – I ran across this one among several others (not counting the aforementioned nude dude ones). And it sucks. There’s no bell. Or gong. Or nude dude for that matter. There was a drum. But it’s not in the photo. And you can’t even see the guy’s face who is pictured to see if you’d want him to be a nude dude. Plus it’s a bit blurry. Which was Noom’s call as he deleted it from my computer. But fortunately Noom’s computer skills do not include knowing about emptying the trash can. ‘Cuz despite all of its faults, I like this shot.

We were in Chiang Mai, visiting Wat Phan Tao during Yee Ping again. At night, they decorate the ground outside the ubosot with thousands of candles in little clay jars. So it’s a very picturesque setting. Unexpectedly during our visit, a five or six man drum troupe appeared, swirling about and beating their little hearts out. It was dark, which isn’t a good thing for photography. And they were moving like crazy, which didn’t help either. By the time I got close enough to take a shot their performance was almost over. So technically, it was one of those shots that got away. Except I managed to click this one anyway

Despite it’s blurriness, composition-wise it’s a good photo. The crowd is just enough out of focus to be background, and yet their attention draws your eyes to the drummer anyway. And while the guy to the left has nothing to do with the shot he looks like he’s walking away and the drummer’s attention seems to be focused on him. Or maybe that’s just the gay part of me reading something into the story that isn’t there. And while from the shot you’d have no reason to know why, the drummer’s movement is captured too. It’s one of those shots that makes you stop and look again. Although that could just be that you’re wondering what in the hell the photo is supposed to be about.

It works best, however, because despite all of its faults and its possible story that wasn’t, it immediately brings back that night. To me. Which is the important thing. To me. Although I’ll admit the shot I took of Noom naked in bed that night does the same. But that’s a different story. And a different memory.

7 Shots: The Kiddy Edition

08 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in 7 Shots

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Photography

Kiddy Edition 1

With me it’s the proverbial question about the chicken or the egg: Do I dislike children because I’m gay and therefore (traditionally) not supposed to have any of my own? Or is it that I detest rug rats so much that the universe decided that It would be better off if I was gay and childless? Not that it really matters. Either works, both keep my life free of despicable mini-humans and their runny nose lifestyle. If I really needed someone in my life who craves constant attention while giving little to nothing back, I’d get a cat. At least you can train a cat to use a litter box.

Kiddy Edition 2

But as with the elderly, who are equally as useless and best avoided at all times, when I have my camera strapped around my neck, invariably I find some little tyke who’d make for a good photo. So they’re not completely useless. And those photos serve as a quick reminder when one of my friends wants to bore me with pictures of his kids that I have vacation photos I can bore him with too. Plus, in doing so, there’s always the unspoken message that it’s because of his brood that he spent his two-week vacation at Disneyland while I took a month to travel the world. That goes down as a win-win in my book.

Kiddy Edition 3

The one cool thing about kids is that they have not yet learned how to hide what they are feeling, their emotions are always on the surface, and their unguarded expressions were made for the camera. Their world is filled with wonder, new things, new experiences. And the look of a child can help you remember, while you’re bitching and moaning about your plane being delayed, your hotel reservation being lost, the taxi driver who tried to scam you, and the Thai/Farang dual pricing scheme at some attraction you just had to visit, that the reason you travel in the first place is to recapture that sense of wonderment with the world. At least until that kid’s runny nose reminds you that you caught a cold again because nothing breeds germs faster than the recycled air on a plane.

Kiddy Edition 4

Seeing what their parents did to them, like their latest hair cut, is often good for a laugh too.

Kiddy Edition 5

Thanks to that bastard I ran across in Malaysia who started this whole 7 Shots thingy off, photos of the little ones don’t often make it through my final cut. Some though are still too good to completely delete. And then there are those that I’ve discarded in favor of a shot of that particular child that I liked better. Some time ago I posted a Bonus Shot – Curiosity At The Wat – that perfectly fit that theme. It was only recently while cleaning through a bunch of old files that I ran across some of the other shots I’d taken of that kid (the opening shot in today’s post). He was such a cool, stylish little dude. I coulda done an entire 7 Shots post of him alone. And may still do so. The one of him when he ran over and punched his dad in the nuts is priceless. Although that shot was more about the dad than the kid. Since I missed honoring Father’s Day in Thailand last Friday (aka the King’s birthday) maybe I’ll remember next year and post that photo. Considering the Crown Prince’s recent antics, it might be appropriate.

Kiddy Edition 6

Several years ago I also posted one of a series of photos I took of the kid above. I say kid, instead of boy or girl ‘cuz I usually can’t tell which is which at that age. And some slightly disgruntled parent once corrected me when I used the non-gender specific ‘it’. My bad. In any case, I took a lot of photos that day and while the one I previously posted was probably a better composition, I’m still hooked on these shots for two reasons. First, no others from that excursion better reminds me of that day, even though the photos of this kid have nothing to do with where we were or why we were there. Second, it was my first experience with one of Thailand’s bathroom buses. Which are kind of a group-hug, Thai version of a porta-pottie. Only more disgusting. The kid, and I assume its father, were up front in the driver’s seat. Which made for a better shot than what was going on in the back of the bus. And explained why Take Your Child To Work Day has never really caught on as an event in Thailand.

Kiddy Edition 7

As is usually the case when I’m choosing my last of 7 shots, I wish that bastard had rounded up to an even 10. I’ve got several good candidates for today’s post of little kids who were selling postcards at every place I’ve ever visited in Cambodia; knowing poverty sells almost as well as sex (and I am NOT going there) those kid’s handlers usually make sure they are appropriately dirty and urchin-looking so that tourists will over-pay for their worthless stock. I’ve a handful of photos from Bali too of future massage shop workers, little girls on the streets of Kuta who you know will be headed that way as soon as they learn how to pronounce, “Massage, mistah?” correctly. But as endearing as photos of the plight of kids in third world countries can be, I’ll wrap this one up on a higher note and post this one to remind you that sometimes in life the best thing you can do is jump on a lamppost and enjoy the ride. ‘Cuz as disgusting a children can be, acting like one when you are an adult is always the preferable way to go.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:
Bonus Shot:  Curiosity at the Wat

Bonus Shot: Curiosity at the Wat

7 Shots: Oldies But Goodies

7 Shots: Oldies But Goodies

Bonus Shot: Little Temptress

Bonus Shot: Little Temptress

Stupid Shit I’ve Taken Photos Of

22 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Bali, Cambodia, Malaysia, Travel Photography

≈ Comments Off on Stupid Shit I’ve Taken Photos Of

Tags

Photography

Stupid Shit I've Taken Photos Of 1

The nice thing about digital photography is that no longer having to be concerned with paying for film and processing you can set your inner artist free to your heart’s delight. Or in my case, allowing my inner artist to take photos of stupid shit. Granted, if you’ve followed this blog for a while and have seen some of my travel photography in the past, you’ve undoubtedly already come to that conclusion. But those were all works of art. Bitch. And since they made it to a post on my blog, the subject matter at least fit with some article’s theme. Today’s photos, not so much.

Stupid Shit I've Taken Photos Of 2

Which would probably have been a better title for today’s post. It’s not so much that these are photos of stupid shit as it is that there is no good reason for them to ever be posted. Unless you are posting an article about stupid shit you’ve taken photos of. Because they are still works of art. Just like that finger painting I did in kindergarten that my mom posted on our refrigerator for a six year run. They still work under my definition of good travel photography (that’d be a photo that instantaneously transports you back to a time and place you’ve visited) even if they don’t mean a thing to you. Kinda like a few future post themes that culling through my stock of pictures for this one inspired in me. Like Photos Of Complete Strangers I’ve Taken. And The Other 5,000 Photos I’ve Taken At Wat Chedi Luang. Stay tuned.

Stupid Shit I've Taken Photos Of 3

And, yeah, there will be a Stupid Shit I’ve Taken Photos of Part 2, too. Because I take a lot of photos of stupid shit. Not that I didn’t think there was a good reason to snap that shot at the time I took it. The first posted above, for example, is from the first time I visited Laos without actually visiting Laos. Noom and I took a Golden Triangle tour out of Chiang Mai, which included a boat ride on the Mekong over to a small island that officially is part of Laos. It’s a tiny, dirty, dusty bit of land that serves no purpose other than as filler for Golden Triangle tours and an opportunity to sell some souvenirs to stupid tourists. Which at first glance may appear to have nothing to do with an old dusty tea kettle sitting on top of an abandoned rooster cage. But that photo perfectly sums up that part of the tour. In fact, it defines that part of the tour. Just in case you were considering taking a Golden Triangle Tour. Not that the rest of the packaged tour was any better. Other than the preponderance of ladyboys encountered at every stop. But that’s a different photo.

Stupid Shit I've Taken Photos Of 4

The second photo is from Georgetown, Malaysia. Which from a photographer’s viewpoint is all about color. And if you are shooting color, blue counts. Besides, anyone can take a photo of the Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion. Ya know? #3 is also about color, it’s a display at Chatuchak. In my defense on this one, I took the photo instead of buying those little woven balls so I consider that a win.

Stupid Shit I've Taken Photos Of 5

The fourth shot is from Siem Reap. It’s of a restaurant I didn’t eat at. I would have, but I’d already had diner that night. And I’m not Asian so I don’t take photos of the meals I eat when on holiday. Speaking of stupid shit to take photos of. But it is a cool, dramatic shot. I do however take lots of photos of any wat I visit and while #5 probably doesn’t scream Wat Phra That Hariphunchai to you, it does to me. Possibly because after the long and somewhat boring drive out to Lamphun – the highlight of which is trees – you’re conditioned to take photos of whatever you find there just so the afternoon doesn’t become a complete waste.

Stupid Shit I've Taken Photos Of 6

Lastly, some stupid shit I’ve taken photos of aren’t stupid shit but are just photographs that didn’t quite turn out the way I’d planned. No problemo. Some of my best photos didn’t turn out as planned either. I think I share that trait with Ansel Adams. This one was supposed to be a Monk Shot! And it is. But the camouflaged monk was a bit more camouflaged by the time my shutter did its thing than he was when I spotted the photo’s potential. That’s the problem with Monk Shots. Monks tend to be a bit camera shy. And for people who are supposed to be busy contemplating the Buddha’s teachings, they move damn fast when they want to.

Someone once told me that what makes art art is that it has a story to tell. I don’t know that that makes sense, or does much to explain what passes for modern art, but since each of these works of art now has a story to accompany them, I’m gonna go with it and say these are not just stupid shit I’ve taken photos of, but shinning examples of the art known as travel photography. ‘Cuz I’ve got lots more photos of stupid shit I’ve taken photos of that are story-less. And I’m sure I’ll be posting some of those soon too.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:
7 Shots: Unamerican Graffiti

7 Shots: Unamerican Graffiti

A Perspective On Travel

A Perspective On Travel

Bonus Shot: The Loha Prasat

Bonus Shot: The Loha Prasat

7 Shots: Oldies But Goodies

24 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in 7 Shots

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Photography

oldies 1

I’m not particularly a fan of either kids or old people. Extremes have never been my thing. The young and the old both tend to have the same problems – they get grumpy for no apparent reason, drool unexpectedly, have trouble forming a coherent sentence, and occasionally need their diaper changed. In my book, it’s best just to avoid the experience. But when it comes to photography either the very young or very old make for a good shot. They’re very expressive. Kids don’t know how to filter what they are thinking yet, and old people can’t be bothered. So I end up taking a lot of shots of both age groups. With kids I’m usually a bit more circumspect thanks to the fans of Sunee Plaza and my not wanting to appear to be one. But old people are fair game. Plus they don’t move quick enough to avoid my camera lens.

oldies 2

They say that life is the road to death; all you choose is your speed. Aging is inevitable, getting old not so much. There is a quiet dignity in old people’s faces. At least in those who age gracefully, who wear their wrinkles like a badge of honor. I think part of what attracts me to the old ‘uns as photography subjects is that there is so much life in their faces too, representing both the life they’ve lived and how much youth remains. And while I’ll generally snap shots off of faces in a crowd that interest me, I tend to engage the old folk I meet when I travel and often end up taking far more than my allotment of 7 shots of just that person alone.

oldies 3

I could have easily made this a 7 shots post all of the lady in the first photo above. I ran into her in Bali, indicated I wanted to take her picture, and then watched, amazed, as her face transformed itself through an entire gauntlet of emotions. This one – the first I took of her – looks like she’s giving me stink-eye, but instead it was a look of disbelief, questioning my sanity. Even though she spoke no English she’d understood my approach. I told her how beautiful she was. ‘Cuz flattery works in any language. And by the time she managed to affix a smile to her face, she really was beautiful. That’s a great shot too. But afterwards, when I showed her the shots I’d taken, this one caused her to laugh. So it ended up being my favorite.

oldies 4

From the old backpacker local in Luang Prabang, to the possibly a nun lady keeping a minor temple clean in Cambodia, to the old man taking tickets (from farang only) at a wat in Laos whose decrepit face mirrored that of the temple’s crumbling facade, it amazes me how willingly the elders in SE Asia are to spend some of their time interacting with a visitor, when nine times out of ten the two of you share no common language. And yet you manage to carry on a conversation anyway. Maybe it’s that my own age is advancing to a point where they feel I’m almost a contemporary. Or maybe it’s just they have nothing better to do with their day.

oldies 5

Considering what the Khmer Rouge did to the people of Cambodia, life could not have been easy for the old pseudo-nun who posed, beaming a glorious smile for me at Angkor Thom. Her smile was a testament to how enduring the human spirit can be. And the advanced age of the veggie seller at the morning market in Luang Prabang should be what sticks in my mind, but it was her pride in the produce grown on her family’s farm that came through. And while the last shot of the two women at the Burma boarder may not qualify as oldies in the ancient sense, that contemplative look of what tomorrow may bring fits well with the other shots in this post.

oldies 6

More recently during my travels I’m finding myself being stopped and asked to pose for some amateur photographer. I’d like to think it’s because I look so much like Brad Pitt. Or even that it’s just the strangeness of meeting a farang. But fear that it’s those wrinkles that have begun appearing on my face, those badges of honor that attest to the life I’ve lead, instead. I hope, at least, those photographers sensed my youthful spirit, or the dignity of my years. Because if they just thought it’d make for a funny shot then all I’ve managed to accomplish is to have become an old fool. Even if that may be closer to the truth.

oldies 7

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:
7 Shots: Hand Jobs

7 Shots: Hand Jobs

Bonus Shot: Georgetown Delivery

Bonus Shot: Georgetown Delivery

7 Shots: Of 7

7 Shots: Of 7

But If They’d Just Use A Cattle Prod . . .

22 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Travel Commentary

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Transportation

Air travel sucks these days, but there is one way to improve the experience for elite passengers.

Air travel sucks these days, but there is one way to improve the experience for elite passengers.

I’m boycotting United Airlines and refuse to ever fly with them again. Not because they were the first to charge for baggage, or because the seem to specialize in surly flight attendants, but because they teamed with Capital One so that fans of high interest rates get to board their flights first. The only first on board privileges based on the option you selected to pay for your ticket should be when you swiped your American Express Centurion Card. Because the rich should always come first. Just as the gods intended.

Even then I’m of two minds when it comes to boarding a flight. The problem is that I’m not a fan of being on that damn plane any longer than absolutely necessary. So as much fun as it is to board first, and then enjoy the floorshow the airline puts on for you of beleaguered and bewildered lower-class passengers dragging oversized roller bags down the aisle in hopes of finding a coveted storage space while those of us who count passed ours to a flight attendant at boarding and told him or her to put it somewhere, I’d just as soon spend that time in the airline’s lounge. The one they reserve for the best of the best. And despite missing out on the refreshments that come along with the floorshow, there’s something to be said for allowing the entire plane to board before you finally make your entrance.

I miss stop-overs at Narita when I used to fly NorthWest. When you were a Passenger Who Counts, they’d hold the plane way past its scheduled take-off time waiting for your entrance. You didn’t even have to pay attention to the clock. They’d send a girl running through the airport calling your name. Nowadays when you finally make an entrance the passengers who paid to be ballast are so tired and beat down from what both the TSA and the airline just put them through they barely have the energy left to shoot daggers at you for making them dwell in hell even longer than planned. Flying today just isn’t as much fun as it once was.

Why cattle class passengers are allowed to pack their entire household in their carry-on is beyond me. It's not like they own anything of value.

Why cattle class passengers are allowed to pack their entire household in their carry-on is beyond me. It’s not like they own anything of value.

Flying once was the most expensive form of travel. And the airlines treated passengers as gods. Or at least not like freight. Then they got greedy, thinking more passengers meant more profits. Instead, they convinced those meant for bus travel that they too could fly. And the cattle said thanks by demanding lower and lower airfares. So the airlines had to cut costs and service was the first thing to go. That went so smoothly they started whittling away at everything that once made flying enjoyable. And the herd mentality said, “Moo.” Which would have been fine if they kept that to steerage where it belonged. Now even in first class you have to put up with all of the tribulations that flying has become. That means often having to stand on the tarmac waiting your turn to climb a steep flight of tacky metal stairs. And sometimes even having to catch a bus to the actual terminal because the airline was too cheap to pay for gate privileges. Seriously. If I wanted to ride on a bus I’d have taken Greyhound, not paid thrice the ticket price than did those in the back of the plane who are forced to share a bathroom with their fellow 500 passengers.

Boarding procedures were once simple and democratic. First class passengers got to board first. And then everyone else was allowed on the plane with the rest of the luggage. Now they let old people get on before others, even though any idiot knows that just slows everyone else down. Then they let passengers with infants and small children board, even though infants should not be allowed on a plane in the first place (as for small children, they’ll fit in an overhead, so what’s the problem?) Next comes each level of that airline’s frequent flyer club. And then those damn Capital One credit card holders. And it keeps going and going and going. Meanwhile, those of us up front have to wait. We’re never supposed to have to wait. For anything. We had an iPhone 6 a week ago. A much more simple and easier way to fill the plane would be to allow first class passengers to board and get settled in. And then open the boarding gate doors and tell everyone else they have five minutes to get on and grab a seat or they’ll be left standing on the tarmac. You may think that’s an elitist attitude. But science backs me up.

Airlines are big on tradition, especially on those procedures that never worked well in the first place. Most still use the board from the back to the front scenario by default, although some airlines have updated that procedure by using groups and zones although the system and its outcome is still the same. A few, to be different, use the window to aisle filling pattern thinking that will clear the aisles fastest. It would if not for the passengers who sit in the window seat on aisle 38 when their assigned seat is the window seat in aisle 37. And Southwest started the fad of the free for all seating mob scene, though you have to give them credit for having the balls to be honest enough to admit they really don’t give a damn who you are or where you sit as long as you paid for your ticket. Air Asia used that system too until it realized it could charge passengers extra for assigning them a seat.

Group 5 is for backpackers. It leads back out to the curb in front of the airport.

Group 5 is for backpackers. It leads back out to the curb in front of the airport.

Herb Kelleher, one of Souhtwest’s founders said, “Planes only make money in the air.” A statement that’s all about profits through keeping those planes full and moving shouldn’t necessarily be something passengers get behind, but if that means shortening the amount of time I have to deal with the flight experience, I’m all for it. Hiring TSA agents who weren’t shopping mall security guard rejects would probably be a good first step. But Kelleher was defending his airline’s use of the free for all seating scheme, the least favorite boarding procedure amongst passengers because far too many end up seated in the middle of a row ‘cuz they are too slow to grab a good seat before everyone else does. But that’s Darwinism at work. And it works for Mother Nature. It turns out that also works the best for loading a plane with passengers.

The brain trust at Mythbusters, a popular US television program that routinely proves how many stupid things we take for granted are lies, recently tested the four most popular plane boarding procedures for efficiency. For their speed test, they used a simulated average-sized, single-aisle airliner complete with gate-checked luggage, real-world flight attendants, and last-minute stragglers. The ever popular zone scheme, wherein first class boards first then the plane is filled by zones from the back to the front, took the longest at 24 minutes, 29 second. Because that is what is most familiar to flyers, it’s also the boarding procedure they most favor.

Next Mythbusters tested a not-so-popular boarding procedure: free for all boarding, but with assigned seats. The line nazis hate this scheme because they miss standing in a queue; the passengers who Darwinism favors dislike it because even though they get on the plane first there’s no reward. But cutting out the boarding line alone saved 17 minutes in boarding time. The test took 17 minutes, 15 seconds to fill the plane.

Forget the nuts, live midget wrestling would put a smile on every first class passenger's face.

Forget the nuts, live midget wrestling would put a smile on every first class passenger’s face.

Filling the plane from window seat to aisle seat (after first class boards) is another variation on the zone boarding procedure and is the second most popular boarding scheme among passengers. But it fails too because you are dealing with humans and many of that species are just not too bright. In Mythbusters’ test, this boarding procedure took 14 minutes, 55 seconds. So it still is quicker than the back to front method. Until that 90-year-old woman sits in seat 34A when she’s supposed to be in 36C.

Last up was the totally unpopular, only the strongest survive, free for all boarding where everyone rushes onto the plane pushing and shoving to grab the best seat before someone else can. Note that unless you are on a budget carrier – which you shouldn’t be – there is still a first class on these flights and those passengers, rightly so, still get priority boarding. In Mythbusters’ test, this boarding procedure was the quickest. It took only 14 minutes, 7 seconds to load the plane so it could get on its way. Even better, depending on where you are seated, it provides the best floor show for first class passengers. And using the Darwin approach to plane boarding shaved ten minutes off the plane’s ground time.

Whichever class you are flying, air transportation is brutal these days. It seems to me that now that we know how a carrier can be more efficient, and can provide a better onboard entertainment experience for its passengers who count at the same time, all carriers should adopt the free for all boarding procedure. Low-cost carriers who insist on nickel and diming passengers could even make more profits by providing first class passengers a paid option for a color commentary feed of the boarding melee in the back of the plane so no one would miss the 90-year-old woman using her cane to snag a window seat away from a mother with two infants. In fact, airlines could charge more for tickets based on the passengers booked in cattle class. ‘Cuz who wouldn’t pay more to watch midget wrestling during boarding? And that, as Western Airlines once proclaimed, is the only way to fly.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:
Dildos On The Plane: Round Three

Dildos On The Plane: Round Three

Tax The Beautiful, Not The Rich

Tax The Beautiful, Not The Rich

Crocodiles On The Plane

Crocodiles On The Plane

← Older posts

THE BEST IN THAILAND:

gay massage in Pattaya

GUIDED NIGHT TOURS BKK

gay nightlife bangkok

4 hours SAUNA TOUR

gay sauna bangkok

Index By Category:

  • Dancing With the Devil (376)
    • Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide (12)
    • I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy (128)
    • Tales Of The Big Mango (18)
      • The Boys In The Bar (18)
    • The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars (94)
  • Gay Thailand (202)
    • Bangkok’s Best Hotels For The Gay Guy (3)
    • Blogs & Message Boards (167)
      • Blogs (19)
      • Gay Thailand Message Boards (102)
        • Songkran ‘14 Special Report (11)
      • Sunday Funnies (90)
    • Gay Thailand Sexpats & Addicts (13)
  • It's A Gay World (1,178)
    • Gay of the Week (24)
    • Holiday Gift Guide (14)
    • Out This Week (19)
    • Photo Of The Week (21)
    • Smells Like Science (66)
    • The 12 Gays of Xmas (54)
  • Nude Dudes (1,405)
    • Absolutely Thursdays (110)
    • Aloha Friday (59)
    • End of the Week (181)
    • Eye Candy (141)
    • Hump Day Is Bump Day (58)
    • iPhone Fridays (107)
    • Jocks (59)
    • Monday Meat (54)
    • Monday Muscle (112)
    • Moving Pictures (34)
    • Selfies Sunday (57)
    • Stay In Bed Sundays (106)
    • Take It Off Thursday (56)
    • Tighty Whitey Tuesday (106)
    • Twinky Tuesday (56)
    • Wednesday Wetness (108)
  • Thailand Travel Tips and Tales (309)
    • Bangkok's Skytrain For Dummies (5)
    • Buddhism 101 (11)
    • First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok (7)
    • Sex Break (11)
    • Tales (30)
    • This Is Thailand . . . (45)
    • Tips (143)
    • Top Ten Bangkok Experiences (9)
    • Wats of Thailand (42)
  • The Road To Rio (1)
  • The XVII Asiad (26)
  • The XXII Gays of The Winter Olympics (22)
  • Travel Commentary & Photography (294)
    • Travel Commentary (20)
    • Travel Photography (274)
      • 7 Shots (20)
      • Bali (10)
      • Bangkok (70)
      • Cambodia (28)
      • Chiang Mai (49)
      • Luang Prabang (17)
      • Malaysia (11)
      • Monk Shot! (70)
      • Phuket (2)
      • Ubiquitous Plastic Stool Shot! (36)
  • Travel Tales from Beyond Thailand (40)
    • Bali (2)
    • Bora Bora (1)
    • California (1)
    • Cambodia (13)
    • Hawaii (4)
    • Hong Kong (3)
    • Laos (9)
    • Malaysia (2)
    • Mexico (1)
    • New Orleans (1)
    • Singapore (1)
  • XXX Games (71)
  • Recent Posts
  • Good-bye Bangkokbois
  • Selfies Sunday #59
  • End Of The Week #186
  • Say, "Cheese!"
  • naked island dudeAloha Friday #59
  • TIT: The Times They Are A-Changin'
  • nude asian dudeTake It Off Thursday #59
  • Photo Of The Week #23
  • nude asian dudeHump Day Is Bump Day #59
  • The Road To Rio: Going For The Lin
  • naked asian twinkTwinky Tuesday #59
  • I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: Eyes Wide Shut

Favorite Travel Tales:

Ad
The 7 Shot Rule

Ad
Angkor Wat: Still Life in the Still Life

Ad
Old Fisher Guy

Ad
Ideas That Don't Travel Well

Tags

And And More! Attractions Bangkok Bangkokbois Beachball Blogs Cambodia Chiang Mai Coming Out Gay Bangkok Gay GoGo Bars Gay Thailand Gay Thailand Forums Hong Kong Hotels and Restaurants Ladyboys Luang Prabang Malaysia & Indonesia & Singapore Markets & Shopping Money Matters Monks Movies & Television Muay Thai Nude Dudes Offs Olympics Photography Phuket Scams Stupid Tourist Tricks Tawan Bar That's That's Gay Tip of the Hat Awards Transportation Turtle Ass Awards Wats Yi Peng

FAVORITE GAY THAILAND STORIES:

Ad
In Search of Love, Money, or a Big Dick

Ad
Tony The Tiger

Ad
A Night At Nature Boy

Ad
I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: The Day The Music Died

POPULAR POSTS:

The XXX Games: Naked Olympic Athletes Celebrate The London Games

Gay of the Week: Channing Tatum (and his penis)

This Just Not In: Joe Manganiello’s Penis Is Really, Really Small

Nude Thai Boxing

Gay Of The Week: Two Samoan Men And A Penis

First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars

First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok: Part II - Pratunam Market

Sex In The Locker Room: A Not So Straight Man’s Fanttasy

Bangkok’s Tawan Bar: Muscle Men Central

Gay Of The Week: Dakota Cochrane (And The UFC)

THE XXX GAMES:

PICTORIAL INDEX TO BANGKOK GAY GOGO BAR FIRST TIMERS GUIDES

PICTORIAL INDEX TO BUDDHISM 101 ARTICLES:

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Buddhism

PICTORIAL INDEX TO I FELL IN LOVE WITH A BAR BOY POSTS

The XXII Gays of The Winter Olympics

PICTORIAL INDEX TO THE BOYS IN THE BAR TALES

The 17th Asian Games of the Asiad

Archives

  • February 2016 (1)
  • April 2015 (22)
  • March 2015 (58)
  • February 2015 (54)
  • January 2015 (52)
  • December 2014 (66)
  • November 2014 (39)
  • October 2014 (45)
  • September 2014 (74)
  • August 2014 (52)
  • July 2014 (57)
  • June 2014 (55)
  • May 2014 (56)
  • April 2014 (65)
  • March 2014 (53)
  • February 2014 (75)
  • January 2014 (55)
  • December 2013 (67)
  • November 2013 (53)
  • October 2013 (48)
  • September 2013 (56)
  • August 2013 (61)
  • July 2013 (55)
  • June 2013 (64)
  • May 2013 (63)
  • April 2013 (63)
  • March 2013 (65)
  • February 2013 (62)
  • January 2013 (59)
  • December 2012 (81)
  • November 2012 (63)
  • October 2012 (73)
  • September 2012 (70)
  • August 2012 (98)
  • July 2012 (99)
  • June 2012 (73)
  • May 2012 (73)
  • April 2012 (71)
  • March 2012 (77)
  • February 2012 (64)
  • January 2012 (72)
  • December 2011 (52)
  • November 2011 (44)
  • October 2011 (43)
  • September 2011 (38)
  • August 2011 (40)
  • July 2011 (38)
  • June 2011 (40)
  • May 2011 (37)
  • April 2011 (39)
  • March 2011 (62)
  • February 2011 (54)

Recent Comments

  • Mrjorie on Monday Meat #5
  • Mrjorie on Aloha Friday #59
  • joy on Monday Meat #5
  • gray-haired boy by the sea on Good-bye Bangkokbois
  • Joey on Aloha Friday #29
  • ok on The 10 Bar Boys You’ll Off In Bangkok
  • Jon on How Do You Say Humongous In Sudanese?
  • Jon on The 2nd Gayest Thing You’ll Ever Put In Your Mouth
  • Jon on The 2nd Gayest Thing You’ll Ever Put In Your Mouth
  • Jon on Getting A Straight Boy to Go Gay
  • Joe on Bangkok’s Tawan Bar: Muscle Men Central
  • Robert Alvarez on Pictures That Move Me #2
  • Robert Alvarez on Can’t You See I’m Busy?
  • Daddy_lover on Bangkok’s Tawan Bar: Muscle Men Central
  • dookie on Bangkok Gay Gogo Bar First Timers’ Guide Part V
  • Raven Starre on The Elephant Experience in Thailand
  • david hopkins on Good-bye Bangkokbois
  • Andi Cheok on Good-bye Bangkokbois
  • e. sexton on The XXX Games: Naked Olympic Athletes Celebrate The London Games
  • Ryan Billingsley on Gay Of The Week: Thomas Finchum Wants To Be Top But Settles For A Three-Way
Sawatdee and welcome to the new and improved Bangkokbois Gay Thailand Blog! Okay, so it’s not necessarily improved, just hosted on a new site. And it’s not just about Thailand, though that still is the main focus. And it’s not all gay either, unless you’re not and then you’ll think it’s pretty damn gay I’m sure. All of the penis might tip you off. Which means if you are not of the required legal age to be looking at penis other than your own, you should leave. And go tell your parental units they suck at their job.

But it is a blog and one out of three ain’t bad. Besides, Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand Blog For People Of Legal Age is just too wordy. But so is Dancing With The Devil In The City Of Angels, which is really the title of this blog.

As cool of a title as that is, Google just ain’t sharp enough to figure out that means this blog is mostly about Thailand. And pretty damn gay to boot. The penis part even Google figured out. Which is a good thing. ‘Cuz Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand With Lots Of Penis Blog For People Of Legal Age, I think, was taken by someone else.

Move along, there’s nothing to see here folks; pay no attention to that man behind the curtain:

  • Log in
  • Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • WordPress.org

Proudly powered by WordPress Theme: Chateau by Ignacio Ricci.