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Category Archives: Out This Week

Posts about celebrities who finally admitted what everyone else already knew.

Out This Week: Hugh Jackman. And As A Rice Queen Too!

01 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in Out This Week

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That's Gay

gay hugh lackman

Every hot Hollywood hunk at one time or another has to deal with rumors about being gay. Some more than others. Some, like John and Tom, make a career of it. And some, like Hugh Jackman, find themselves addressing the issue again and again. And again. In the past, he’s denied being gay. And his wife has denied it too. As has his adopted kids. Still, those rumors persist. Maybe it’s because he’s photographed lovingly frolicking in the ocean with another man so often. Or his love of musicals. Or that he’s included in every list of closeted celebrities. Or that he flames so well. But now that the character he’s most often associated with, Wolverine, has come out of the closet, Hugh too has finally boldly gone where no straight man has gone before, by admitting he prefers men. And Asian men at that.

Or not. But considering the date, this does make for a good Photo of the Week, no?

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Photo Of The Week #5

Photo Of The Week #5

And It Feels Good

And It Feels Good

Gay Of The Week: Ryan Gosling

Gay Of The Week: Ryan Gosling

Out This Week: Justin Bieber’s Dick

17 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in Out This Week

≈ 10 Comments

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That's Gay

Is it live, or is it Memorex?

Is it live, or is it Memorex?

Forget mass beheadings by ISIS, Copenhagen turning into little America, and proof that global warming is a hoax ‘cuz everywhere but California is buried under a ton of snow, the real news of the week is that Justin Bieber’s best buddy has finally made an appearance. Unlike Punxsutawney Phil, it didn’t cast a shadow. But is responsible for a lot of shade being thrown. And despite the alleged evidence, the question still seems to be whether Justin has a big dick or just that he is a big dick.

If you are in the Is A Big Dick camp and haven’t been following the strange saga of Justin’s lack of stature, it all started back at the beginning of the year when Bieber and his penis appeared in a new Calvin Klein ad. Almost immediately the internet began claiming it ain’t all that. And BreatheHeavy­.com weighed in on the weight of Bieber’s package with what it claimed were unretouched photos from the photo shoot showing a decidedly less muscular and less endowed Justin. Some claimed the unretouched photos were photoshopped, while the masses continued to claim Bieber’s mass was the photoshopped version. Regardless, threatened by legal action, the website took those photos down.

Will the real Justin Bieber please stand up.

Will the real Justin Bieber please stand up.

Meanwhile other internet sites and media outlets began their own investigations into Bieber’s crotch shots, pointing out other questionable parts such as a happy trail not visible in video footage from the shoot while in the print ads it looked like he’d grown some hair. Ditto for his well-defined six-pack in the print ads that look more like a two-pack in the video clips. The controversy wouldn’t die down, causing even further shrinkage to Bieber’s pride in his manhood.

And so the 20-year-old singer’s PR machine got busy proudly standing up for that which appeared unable to do the same for itself. One unnamed source close to the Canadian pop star’s penis claimed the Calvin Klein ads were retouched, but not to add the missing elements; he claimed Bieber’s bulge was retouched because it was too big for the underwear he was given to wear for the shoot. “Justin was too big for his underwear. They are too tight and needed to be photo shopped to make the pictures look less distracting,” he told anyone who would looked to be a Belieber.

Too big for his britches?

Too big for his britches?

Patrick Nilsson, Justin’s personal trainer, added his two inches worth too, telling Access Hollywood, “I can definitely confirm that he is a well-endowed guy.” And then realizing what he’d just said added, “Okay, I sound weird saying that, but yes.” Nilsson declined to elaborate further on exactly how he knows that to be true.

So Bieber decided to take the controversy into his own hands by publishing a photo on his Instagram account showing what he felt was proof in the pudding. The photo, captioned “photoshopped lol” shows the Biebs wearing nothing but a towel which may or may not include a vague outline of Justin’s penis. Which for those in the Is A Big Dick camp only served to prove the boyish crooner doesn’t know dick about dick. While Bieber’s self-published photo did little to end the debate, it did raise the question of which member of his entourage took that photo, and just what was going on that was responsible for raising that point.

Yeah, but ya know what a cold shower will do to a boy.

Yeah, but ya know what a cold shower will do to a boy.

Not being able to allow sleeping dogs – or puppies – to lie, the latest in the possibly not so sagging saga is this weekend’s leaked text mBeiber’s Teeny Weeny 4essage between Bieber and his ex, Selena Gomez, in which Justin included several dick pix. Yup, tired of the is he or isn’t he controversy, actual shots of the Biebs’ little Bieb have been published to prove he really does measure up. Which too is a bit suspicious.

The flurry of text messages were originally published back in 2004 after Selena’s iPhone was reportedly hacked. The dick pix were originally blurred out. That proof of Justin’s manhood has now magically appeared has some wondering just how big of a dick Bieber really is. While it has others wondering if Justin knows the difference between a big dick and what’s not really hanging between his legs.

Maybe it looks bigger if you use the metric scale.

Maybe it looks bigger if you use the metric scale.

While the text part of the message proves Bieber is in fact a big dick, the accompanying photos just don’t add up to much. It is a dick. That it is Justin’s is still debatable. And ‘big’ is relative. One shows a fistful of dick, but for all we know he just choked up on his bat. The other attempts to give Bieber’s best buddy a thumbs up, and it almost appears to be a full-length feature film. But even if Justin has little hands (which is never a good sign) at best he’s looking at under six inches. Which ain’t much to brag about. Or as Selena tagged it, “U need to grow the fuck up.”

Obviously, if Bieber wants to prove his point he needs to do a full frontal, full body shot so his fans can see if he measures up to the hype. Or we could start a new controversy off of Selena’s comment, “All my friends were right. You’re such an asshole,” and check out his flip side instead. ‘Cuz while Bieber being a big dick may be debatable, that he’s a complete ass seems to be a given.

Beiber's Teeny Weeny 6

Beiber's Teeny Weeny 7

Out This Week: Somebody? Anybody?

14 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Out This Week

≈ 2 Comments

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That's Gay

Hollywood has become so gay that even straight celebrities want to get in on the act.

Hollywood has become so gay that even straight celebrities want to get in on the act.

When I started this blog a mere three plus years ago a regular feature was my Gay of the Week post in which I shinned the spotlight on hot male celebrities who might have been gay, or probably were gay, or were not at all gay but someone every gay man in the world wished was. There was the occasional Out This Week post too whenever some famous dude finally admitted to what everyone else had already guessed. Those were popular posts. Because playing Guess The Gay has always been a popular pastime. And everyone always appreciates a photo or two of Channing Tatum in his underwear.

I haven’t posted one of those articles in quite some time. Celebrities coming out has gone from being a rarity to becoming a weekly event. It’s difficult to remember who is officially out and whose coming out announcement you missed these days. That Honey Boo Boo’s mom is bedding a convicted child molester is news, that her uncle is gay not so much. The media has become so used to celebrities coming out that the tabloids no longer speculate about who is gay but instead print rumors about which famous gay man’s marriage is on the rocks.

Part of that is because a lot of those celebrities were so visibly gay that no one was fooled to begin with. A larger part is that the breeders of the world have become so used to famous men declaring their love for other men that coming out stories are barely good for a single news cycle. Being openly gay may have once been the kiss of death for a celebrity’s career, but these days it’s assumed every male celebrity is a little bit queer. No one who has come out over the last few years has put either their fame or fortune in jeopardy for doing so. Okay, so Steve Jobs’ statue in Russia got pulled down because Tim Cook came out, but everyone else has, if anything, seen their career rise.

Channing Tatum made a bet with co-star Jonah Hill that if 21 Jump Street broke $35 million during its opening weekend Hill would have to kiss the head of Tatum's dick. That doesn't make Tatum gay.  But does make for a good excuse to remind us why we wish he was.

Channing Tatum made a bet with co-star Jonah Hill that if 21 Jump Street broke $35 million during its opening weekend Hill would have to kiss the head of Tatum’s dick. That doesn’t make Tatum gay. But does make for a good excuse to remind us why we wish he was.

We’ve yet to see a major A-List celebrity come out. But seriously, if either Tom or John ever do you’d better not blink or you’ll miss that story. Minor celebrities, however, have been coming out in droves. So much so that their coming out has to have some special twist or it barely gets reported. When Tom Daley did the news wasn’t about him being gay but rather about the horror of him dating an ‘older’ man. And the only reason anyone is waiting for Bruce Jenner to make the announcement is that we’ve yet to see a male celebrity come out as a lesbian. And he’d better hurry up or James Franco will beat him to the punch.

Being an openly gay celebrity has become so popular that even the straight stars are trying to get in on the game. Franco has made a career of it. It seems hardly a week passes that Zac Efron hasn’t made some tease about his love of dick. And Nick Jonas has been so busy courting and teasing gay fans that you wish Neal Patrick Harris would just fuck him and get it over with.

It wasn’t that long ago that Google’s predictive results suggested ‘gay’ as one of the top choices on any search of a hot male celebrity’s name. In fact, if you searched Tom Cruise – not that anyone has in the last five years – Google added ‘gay’ to your search whether you wanted it to or not. Google, like the rest of the world, no longer cares. Gay is no longer one of your choices. Even if you give Google a hint by adding a ‘g’, the best it can do is to suggest ‘green beans’. And earlier this week when Ryan Seacrest tied a toy basketball hoop around Nick Jonas’ waist to play crotchball, no one batted an eye. Not even when Ryan said, “This is something I just dream about.”

Nick Jonas isn't gay, but he plays one 24/7 these days.

Nick Jonas isn’t gay, but he plays one 24/7 these days.

In the day when Shia Labeouf blames his arrest during a performance of Cabaret not on being drunk but rather because he couldn’t resist grabbing Alan Cummings’s ass because “he’s the sexiest man I’ve ever seen”, when Adam Levine says Blake Shelton wants to have sex with him for laughs and no one so much as giggles, and when Tyler Ritter considers a newspaper reporter’s error stating he is an openly gay actor to be a compliment, ya know George Michael has got to be wondering why he spent so much time hiding out in public restrooms.

Back in the day, Liberace once sued a tabloid for suggesting he was gay. Today, Michael Douglas won a Golden Globe for boning Matt Damon on film in a movie about Liberace’s life. And Hollywood publicists plant stories in the tabloids about their clients possibly being gay because they know it’s good for business. Not that The Inquirer bothers to print those stories any longer. Unless an alien was involved too. Celebrities’ sexuality was once major fodder for the main stream press. Nowadays if a celebrity coming out make the news it’s only because we’re tired of yet another photo op of Kim Kardashian’s ass.

Unless it’s the gay news media doing the reporting. One of the twinks from One Direction – you’ll have to forgive me for not knowing or caring which is which – wore a T-shirt earlier this week with an Apple logo on it (the original rainbow colored apple) and some idiot reporter claimed it was in support of Apple’s now openly gay CEO Tim Cook. The suggestion was because the boy bander did so, he must be gay. The ‘news’ in the story wasn’t that some member of a boy band was gay – most assume ever member of a boy band is gay – but that someone’s logic was so faulty. That’s how desperate the gay media has become in naming our next gay icon. While the rest of the world doesn’t really care.

Aussie actor Brenton Thwaites just came out if you believe the gay media.

Aussie actor Brenton Thwaites just came out if you believe the gay media.

Today the gay media was all a twitter about some young Aussie actor I’ve never heard of – Brenton Thwaites, who kinda looks like Orlando Bloom on training wheels – responding to a question during an interview about what he looks for in a partner by asking, “Male or female?” The various gay media headlines reporting the not-news all suggested the young star had just came out. Not. He was simply clarifying the ambiguously phrased question, not making a statement about his ambiguous sexuality. And one of the other One Direction twinks who made a similar statement during an interview last week wasn’t implying he likes dick either. Even if he may. He was merely jumping on the Maybe He’s Gay bandwagon. Because that’s what straight celebrities do these days. Which is good for their career. Or at least better than being caught anywhere near one of those photo ops of Kim Kardashian’s ass.

Speculating about which of Hollywood’s hottest male celebrities plays for the pink team was once an honored tradition. But the world has moved on. Fans pretty well know who is and who isn’t these days, and for those who are but haven’t yet said so it’s more of a question of when than if. It’s not like when Bradley Cooper finally does anyone is gonna be surprised. It’s only the gay media that seems to care. And their attempts at claiming another celebrity as one of their own comes off as a bit desperate. Part of the equality we’ve all been working toward is that no one’s sexuality should matter any more than their shoe size does (okay, maybe that’s a bad analogy). Maybe it’s time for The Gays to become as comfortable with celebrities’ sexuality as the straight world is. But then if it wasn’t for erroneous guessing about some hottie’s gayness, I’d never have known about Brenton Thwaites. And my masturbatory fantasies would have suffered greatly.

I did mention Brenton Thwaites, right?

I did mention Brenton Thwaites, right?

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Gay Of The Week: Ryan Gosling

Gay Of The Week: Ryan Gosling

Out This Week: Tom Daley. No Really

Out This Week: Tom Daley. No Really

Gay Of The Week: Jeremy Renner

Gay Of The Week: Jeremy Renner

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

14 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Out This Week

≈ 8 Comments

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Coming Out, Olympics

This weekend five time gold medalist Ian Thorpe began living his life as an openly gay man.

This weekend five time gold medalist Ian Thorpe began living his life as an openly gay man.

Coming out is a personal process. Even when you decide to do so in front of a million+ television audience as Aussie gold medalist and prodigiously packed Speedo god Ian Thorpe did yesterday. Good for him. The Twitterverse responded favorably. And the gay media had a collective orgasm. I probably shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds my fantasies – if it were not for the gay media I wouldn’t have daily pictures of Tom Daley showing off his bod to drool over – but maybe it’s time the gay media stops emulating FOX news. Journalism and cheerleading are not supposed to be synonymous. That Thorpe came out was newsworthy and laudable enough in its own right. Glossing over the fact that doing so was a carefully thought-out part of a $550,000 deal with Channel Ten that will see him call swimming at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow later this month cheapens its impact. Or at least its journalistic coverage.

I’m all for any gay man who decides it’s time to be himself, openly and unabashedly. But when that gay man is famous, it would mean more if his coming out wasn’t a tie-in with an event that will line his pockets. Ricky Martin came out to promote his autobiography. Tom Daley’s timing suspiciously coincided with the debut of the new season of his television show which had been suffering poor ratings. And Thorpe’s interview was part of the package he signed with Channel Ten. It is ironic that those who claim they did not come out while actively involved in whatever it was that made them famous out of fear of losing endorsement deals or movie roles, finally do when there is payola on the table. Especially in an age when being a freshly minted gay man is so profitable.

I’ve always held that if, when, and how someone comes out is a personal decision. Although the if part of that equation is a bit iffy. Within reason. I think when you are a world famous athlete or celebrity you are playing on a different ball field. And then, when questions about your sexuality arise, you should do the right thing and admit which team you play for. Or just shut up. I have no problem with Kevin Spacey refusing to discuss his personal life; his response to questions about his sexuality, that that has nothing to do with his art and career, is a valid one. Spending years denying that you are gay, as Thorpe has, not so much. Now that he has, the gay media will refer to him as a hero and a role model. While ignoring that during the years when he was busy winning gold medals he was a role model for being closeted.

Thorpe and his thorpedo now officially swim for the pink team.

Thorpe and his thorpedo now officially swim for the pink team.

The same could be said of Tom Daley, Greg Louganis, George Takei, Ricky Martin, and a host of other famous gay men who went out of their way to announce they were not gay. When they finally do, the gay media embraces them and calls them brave. Takei is so beloved by the gay press he can’t fart these days without it making the news. And I’m glad he is happy now that he’s out. But as a little gay boy it would have meant a lot more to me if Lt. Sulu had announced he was gay back when he was a star. That he’s decided his second career is being an openly gay man, not so much. Thorpe, at least owned that. ”I’m ashamed I didn’t come out earlier,” he said in his interview. “That I didn’t’ have the strength to do it. I didn’t have the courage to break that lie.”

Granted, coming out to the world is a big step. But here’s a hint: if you are a celebrity and the press keeps questioning your sexuality, everyone already knows. And if you are not a celebrity, your mother already knows. Coming out is probably not quite as big of a step as you think it is. Living your life as who you are instead of hiding that truth, is. The media focused on Thorpe’s coming out this weekend. “I’m not straight” was the quote many news outlets went with. “I could have lived a very different life if I’d been out,” was a much more important message.

Out magazine just published its interview with Michael Sam, the man who just nailed the first openly gay professional NFL player title. It’s nice to see an athlete come out at the beginning of his professional career instead of years after the limelight has faded. It’s also interesting that as the NFL draft neared the media questioned which team would sign Sam because of the plus in having a gay athlete playing for their team instead of discussing how many would not out of fear of losing fan support. We’ve come a long way baby. And in his interview Sam describes just how far coming out has brought him.

If it turns out Thorpe is a bottom, some guy is gonna be very, very, very  lucky.

If it turns out Thorpe is a bottom, some guy is gonna be very, very, very lucky.

Sam says he met his boyfriend – the cute little swimmer Vito Cammisano whom the rest of the world met when Sam planted a big wet one on him on live TV when he got the news the St. Louis Rams had selected him in the draft – while the two were still in college. Cammisano, a star of the University of Missouri swim team, was out. Sam was not. After a bit of a rocky start, the two got busy doing what two superbly conditioned penises do when they meet each other. But Sam was so scared of being seen in public with a known homosexual that the two spent their relationship’s formative years in hiding. In his interview Sam describes the lengths they went to in order to protect his secret, including late night trysts after which Sam would make his exit through a window to keep their budding romance a secret.

Sam credits the example of his boyfriend living life as an openly gay man as the main reason he decided to show his true self to the world too. Perhaps because he is younger than Thorpe and spent fewer years being closeted he has yet to realize what a different life he could have lived by being out. Instead, he mentions that when he and Cammisano did eventually hook-up, Sam got them both a bit tipsy first – not an unusual route for gay boys who have yet to come to terms with their sexuality, to be out, even to themselves. Nor was the extent the two went through to keep their relationship closeted unusual when at least one in a couple is still hiding from the world. Sam’s story probably resonates with many gay men. I know it did with me.

I’ve never really been closeted. I’ve always figured anyone close enough to me for my sexuality to matter should know. And have never cared much what anyone else thinks. I don’t wear gay pride t-shirts, but only because I’ve never seen one I liked. I don’t introduce myself as being gay because that is such a small part of who I am. And if in that instance it is the main part, that probably means I’m about to have sex. And whoever the lucky guys is probably already figured out I’m gay. Those who I’m not about to have sex with usually find out when I show up at some function or gathering with a guy as my date. Which works for me. When that date is firmly closeted, not so much for him.

When you are in love and out it's adorable.

When you are in love and out it’s adorable.

I had a fuck buddy for an eight-year run in Hawaii who was deeply closeted as a lot of local boys in the islands are. He wasn’t ‘visibly gay’ but his friends and family often wondered (often wondered meaning suspected, kinda knew, but were patiently waiting to be told). And I say fuck buddy instead of some other relationship related word ‘cuz sex was pretty much all we had. There were deeper emotions involved. But we spent those years entirely in the bedroom. He refused to be seen in public with me. We were not even allowed to go out to dinner together. The closest we got to being spotted together in public was when I would pick him up in my car from the shopping center parking lot where he’d park his car rather than park it anywhere near my house. ‘Cuz he was afraid someone would otherwise notice his car and ask why he’d been parked in that neighborhood. Fear makes you do some strange things. Even when the strange things you are doing are those that make your heart sing.

Eventually he was forced to lighten up a bit. He ended up working for me; his finances, college-life, and career made for an offer of employment he couldn’t refuse. We couldn’t let on that we knew each other outside of work, of course. And even though having dinner with the boss was a normal occurrence for other employees, he still couldn’t manage to bring himself to a point where he might be seen dining alone with another guy even though he now had an excuse. He forced himself to come to a work-related party at my house one night, and then spent the evening acting like he’d never been there even though there wasn’t a single stick of furniture in the place on which we hadn’t had sex at least once. Everyone else had a great time. He spent the night frightened that someone would ask him where I kept the glasses and he’d be busted if he knew.

A few years ago he got in touch with me. He’d finally come out. It was like talking to an entirely different person. He was happy. His family had not disowned him. His friends had not abandoned him. Coming out does not usually involve a 12 step program, but part of his process was that phone call. He needed to tell me how madly in love he’d been with me all those years when the most we could share were multiple orgasms (there is an upside to dating closeted boys). Well, okay, that and he was in the need for a bit of phone sex. But after that matter was taken into hand, he went back to talking about those years and how much he’d missed by hiding what really never needed to be hid. Like Thorpe he’d came to realize he could have lived a very different life if he’d been out. As happy as he was with his life as an openly gay man, the years he’d spent denying who he was still cast a shadow over a long period of memories; those times were still closeted even if he no longer was.

Uh, I did mention Tom Daley, right?

Uh, I did mention Tom Daley, right?

So, of course, I immediately flew back to Hawaii to bang the hell out of him. Kidding. But I did see him last year during a visit. And met his boyfriend. We went out to dinner together. It felt like summiting Mt. Everest. In his interview Sunday night, Thorpe said that part of his reason for coming out was that he didn’t want young people to feel the same way that he did. He said that his message was that you can grow up, you can be comfortable, and you can be gay. “I was concerned about the reaction from my family, my friends and I’m pleased to say that in telling them, especially my parents, they told me that they love me, and they support me,” he shared, adding, “And for young people out there, know that that’s usually what the answer is.”

It’s nice that George Takei considers himself to be the spokesperson for the gay community now that he is out, and thinks boycotting Hobby Lobby is the issue of the day. And it’s a shame that Thorpe waited until his Olympic career was well over before he decided it was safe to come out. But whether a famous person comes out for financial gain or because it’s just the right time to do so, if their message is how much better their life is by not hiding who they are, and if that message resonates with a closeted gay man – of any age – and helps them to begin a more fulfilled life, even the gay media’s fly the rainbow flag reaction is worth it. Because even if you are not famous, living your life being true to yourself is always the better way to go. Hopefully, we won’t have to wait for thirty years for Kristian Ipsen to realize that. ‘Cuz those years spent closeted and living in fear can never be replaced.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:
Out This Week: Tom Daley. No Really

Out This Week: Tom Daley. No Really

Out This Year: The English Not To Mention The Rest Of The Straight World

Out This Year: The English Not To Mention The Rest Of The Straight World

Pictures That Move Me #9

Pictures That Move Me #9

Out This Year: The English. Not To Mention The Rest Of The Straight World.

14 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Out This Week

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

That's Gay

 As gay becomes the cool thing to be, straight men are beginning to confuse the hell out of gay guys.

As gay becomes the cool thing to be, straight men are beginning to confuse the hell out of gay guys.

Those who oppose the gay agenda must be quaking in their boots these days. Courts in the U.S. continue to hand bigots and homophobes their heads on a platter, same-sex marriage is becoming the law of the land around the world, right-thinking citizens (which, strangely enough seldom includes those whose politics lean towards the right) use their wallets to protest oppression and the governments who sponsor it, and it seems hardly a day goes by that some almost famous person decides to come out. It’s a far cry from the day when homosexuality was called the love that dare not speak its name. Today, being gay is more akin to hanging out at Cheers. Where everyone knows your name. And that you are gay. We may still be a distance off from total acceptance, but we’ve already hit a plateau where being gay is kinda cool. Even those who can’t commit fully are heavily in the pursuit of finding the perfect bromance. Or at least another bisexual to hang out with.

There was a time too when homosexuality was known as the English Disease. And nostalgic for those days, the men of the UK are today busy getting their gay on. In a recent survey conducted by two researchers at Winchester and Durham Universities 93% of straight British men reported they had spooned with another man. And 98% said they’d shared a bed with a bro. One study participant said: “I love a quick cuddle, just so you remember your friends are about and are there for you.”

“I feel comfortable with Connor and we spend a lot of time together,” another volunteered. “I happily rest my head on Connor’s shoulder when lying on the couch or hold him in bed. But he’s not the only one. The way I see it, is that we are all very good and close mates.”

Hopefully, Connor is a straight dude too. Or he may see those affectionate gestures a bit differently.

Two guys cuddling in bed together is supposed to mean something. An orgasm.

Two guys cuddling in bed together is supposed to mean something. An orgasm.

Normally I’d be one of the last to argue against any form of man on man action. But enough is enough. It’s time gay men take the joys of being with another man back. It’s time that our straight brethren quit reaping the benefits of a bromance while suffering none of the consequences of living the gay lifestyle. Like having to learn show tunes. It’s time that Chris Martin not be allowed to merely say he questioned his sexuality over Harry Styles’ beauty, but instead be required to do the boy. On film. Not that having had to do Gwyneth Paltrow over the last several years I wouldn’t find Harry Styles attractive too. But if you are gonna talk the talk, you need to walk the walk. Even if that means Harry would be walking a bit funny for a few days.

As homonormative becomes the accepted state, the slippery slope of straight boys acting gay too is gaining wide acceptance. And that needs to stop. Even if it is part of the Brit’s collective gene pool. It’s time for Seth Rogen to quit salivating over Zac Efron’s body. And his dick. But that’s a coupling we don’t need to see. Not that a bit of solo action by Zac would be a bad thing. It’s time for the rule to be that if you want to have an affair with another guy, you need to be willing to suck dick too. ‘Cuz this bromance thing is getting out of hand. And it’s confusing the hell out of the little gay boys of the world. Not to mention making the plot of a lot of gay porn movies totally irrelevant.

Back in the day if you cuddled with a bro in bed, one of you was gay. The other, a bisexual in the making. You could dream, hope, and fantasize, but you were not allowed to touch. And if you woke up in the middle of the night to find your buddy’s arms wrapped around you, you knew there was more than one hard dick throbbing in that bed. Now that just means he loves you. But doesn’t want to make love to you. Now that hard dick pressed into your back just means it is a coincidence, it’s just one of the eleven times the average man spouts wood daily and is not an invitation to cram your tongue down his throat. How in the hell is a gay boy supposed to pick up on the signals when all of the signals have been co-opted by the straight guys?

When did a three-way become friends just cuddling together?

When did a three-way become friends just cuddling together?

I just read a review of the latest bromantic comedy out of Hollywood, ‘cuz that’s the closest I’ll ever get to actually watching Neighbors. The reviewer praised the flick for playing what once would have been homophobic jokes as punch lines we all are ‘in’ on. The critic thought it was more fun to be pandered to than laughed at. As if that was a good thing. Acceptance is a good thing. Understanding is cool. But while imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, unless you are serious about it, unless you are willing to actively participate, keep your enjoyment over anal sex to yourself.

In Neighbors, boys will be boys and that means getting together to play with sex toys. Sorry, but when two men engage in dildo play together, that’s gay. Or is supposed to be. Instead, there are so many dildos in the movie they should get top billing. Above Dave Franco’s name. Especially since he’s a bottom anyway. And while I’m on the subject, his brother needs to quit pandering to the straight boys by acting gay too. It sets a bad example. Male celebrities who post twitter pix of them self in bed with another guy only encourage straight guys to think pseudo-gay romances are acceptable. And then the next thing you know Bruce Jenner will have a sex change operation so that he can better fit in with the Kardashian girls.

Ooops. Too late.

That is not what 'brothers in arms' is supposed to mean.

That is not what ‘brothers in arms’ is supposed to mean.

The pursuit of straight guys has always been one of my favorite sports. Primarily because even as a beginner scoring is just so damn easy. Or once was. There was always a line that once you convinced them to cross, you knew it was only a matter of time before they’d have their bottom pointed in the air. Like about 5 minutes. Those lines are no longer drawn in the sand. Now those same guys feel perfectly fine with what should still be considered foreplay. And to them it means nothing. Which is exactly what you’re gonna get. Because these days spooning with your best buddy doesn’t mean someone is gonna get lucky. It just means he’s in the middle of a serious bromance. Or that he’s from the UK. But, unfortunately, a gay man’s dick doesn’t speak bromance.

Wikipedia blames the modern day bromance on the use of the term in the skateboard magazine Big Brother in the 1990s to refer specifically to the sort of relationships that develop between skaters who spent a great deal of time together. Even though those relationships were much better covered in the gay porn classic Skater Kidz. And in Skater Kidz 2 and Skater Kidz 3. The modern day equivalent of Encyclopedia Britannica defines a bromance as “a close non-romantic relationship between two (or more) men, a form of affectional or homosocial intimacy.” I don’t think homosocial is even a real world. At best it means having tea with some fussy queen who practically swoons at the thought of getting to play mother.

Wikipedia goes on to provide examples of famous bromances to help you get the picture. Even though we all know that picture should only be envisioned when a bottle of lube is close at hand. They cite Ben Affleck and Matt Damon as “perhaps the pioneering bromance in showbiz history,” though technically the relationship between Batman and Robin came way before that and was always a bit suspicious. Star Trek’s on and off screen coupling of Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine gets a nod too as the epitome of the modern bromantic relationship. Which is my point. Zach had to come out just to set Chris straight on what those nights spent cuddling together were supposed to mean. And do you think that got Zachary any closer to his goal? Well, yeah, I do too but since they’ve yet to make it official, we have to just call it a bromance.

The gods invented alcohol to loosen up straight boys so they could enjoy gay sex, which is what male-bonding is supposed to be about.

The gods invented alcohol to loosen up straight boys so they could enjoy gay sex, which is what male-bonding is supposed to be about.

It’s no surprise that Wikipedia’s entry on bromances starts off with a warning saying This Article Has Multiple Issues. Duh. Those issues are what are supposed to separate us. Not place us in bed together. “Boy was I drunk last night!” is supposed to be the straight guy’s excuse for the naked tumble he indulged in with his best buddy the night before. Just before he suggests the two of you go out drinking again tonight. Acting like it never really happened is fine with us gay guys. As long as you’re willing to not really do it again. And again. Straight boys who explore their sexuality with their gay best friend are not supposed to be allowed to chalk it up as a bromance gone wild. Straight guys are only supposed to be allowed to have sex with other guys when it’s pledge week at your local frat house. And despite Wikipedia’s enticing revelation that a bromance can be between two (or more) men, that’s not a bromance. It’s an orgy. And when there are no fish involved, it’s gay. Or the football team bonding in their locker room’s shower after practice. Which explains why Michael Sam considers team sports to mean something deferent than what 90% of his teammates does.

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid was not a popular movie among gay men because it was a western. Because, as kids, playing cowboys and indians was supposed to end quite differently in our minds. That flick did not call to us because Paul Newman and Robert Redford were hot. Okay it did, and they were, but there was a bigger draw too. Movies are about fantasies, and the fantasy to gay men in that movie had Redford looking longingly into Newman’s baby-blue eyes. Just before he turned over and provided the muse for And Lee’s western to come, Brokeback Mountain. It was one of Hollywood’s greatest gay couplings. Because we were allowed to interpret it that way. Homoeroticism used to mean something. But now we have bromances instead. And every man in England butting up next to his bros. Now we have Zac Efron playing with a dildo. But not in a good way. Worse yet, we now have the ‘man date’ to contend with too.

This is not how you hang out with your buddies. It's how you start a gay orgy.

This is not how you hang out with your buddies. It’s how you start a gay orgy.

A New York Times article helped clue breeders into the idea of a man date, defining it as follows:

A man date is two heterosexual men socializing without the crutch of business or sports. It is two guys meeting for the kind of outing a straight man might reasonably arrange with a woman. Dining together across a table without the aid of a television is a man date; eating at a bar is not. Taking a walk in the park together is a man date; going for a jog is not. Attending the movie “Friday Night Lights” is a man date, but going to see the Jets play is definitely not. Two guys getting together to suck each other’s dick is a man date, doing so after attending a revival of “Cats” together is not.

Okay, so I added that last one. But let’s get real. Strolling the beach at sunset, walking hand in hand is what gay guys do when they want to prove it really isn’t just about getting dick. Even though we all know you will be getting dick after strolling the beach at sunset. Especially if you were walking hand in hand. Though if your partner is on the queeny side you may have to reenact that scene from From Here To Eternity first. The point is, the behaviors described by The New York Times are not how straight guys are supposed to act. It’s how we act. Those are gay dates. Those are examples of what we do when we finally succumb to thinking Match.com is the only way we’re ever gonna find a husband. And straight guys imitating our mating rituals only leads to disappointment. We’re out there looking for a husband. Not another Best Man.

And you know just where the idea of bromances will lead to.

And you know just where the idea of bromances will lead to.

Those who rail against the Gay Agenda need to get wise and recognize the insidious promotion of the pseudo gay lifestyle that Wikipedia and Hollywood is. Because we need your help in keeping man-on-man relationships the exclusive domain of gay guys. It’s a sad state of affairs when the gay community has to look toward Rush Limbaugh for an assist. But we either need to champion the cause of the dudes from Duck Dynasty, or just accept that our world will slowly be eroded by the gay antics of the straight boys of the world. The world needs to put a stop to the idea of the bromance. ‘Cuz it’s a slippery slops that can only lead to that bestiality thing y’all are so fond of talking about. And when you co-opt the meaning of doggie style from us, things are gonna get really ugly, really fast.

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Out This Week: Tom Daley. No, Really.

02 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Out This Week

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Coming Out

Christmas came early this year: Olympic Diver Tom Daley and his penis have announced they are gay.

Christmas came early this year: Olympic Diver Tom Daley and his penis have announced they are gay.

There have been a large number of actors and other minor celebrities who have come out this year. A surprisingly large number if we were talking about a mere five years ago in fact. But nowadays announcing your fabulousness to the world just ain’t all that. Don’t get me wrong. The decision to do so is still a traumatic and highly charged emotional affair for many; the act may generate less buzz among the general public than the latest cute kitten doing funny things video that went viral, but it’s still a major step for anyone in the public eye. But the bigger interest these days isn’t who is and isn’t gay, but whether or not they should be allowed to marry.

I’m always up for an Out This Week post, but most of those who have braved that step this year were already ‘visibly gay’ so their grand announcement elicited nothing more than a “Eh.” Typical was some reality TV personality who came out last week. I’d never heard of him. But did see a clip of his coming out. I didn’t actually watch the clip to the grand moment, the first few seconds were enough to tell me the dude was gay. Visibly so. It was kinda like watching The Crying Game when someone had already told you the chick had a dick – when you already know the ending, sticking around for the reveal really isn’t worth your time. Ooops, sorry. Spoiler Alert!

And so it has been with most of those coming out this year. I’d read about their announcement, turn to Google to see who in the hell they were, Google would tell me they were some young, twinky, at least somewhat effeminate minor celebrity, and I’d go back to a more fulfilling activity like cutting my toe nails. Celebrities coming out have become so routine it’s just not worth the bother. It’ll take an A-list star announcing he flies the rainbow flag to make the world sit up and take notice. And even then, when Tom Cruise finally admits what everyone else already knows, a good portion of the general public is gonna respond with a deafening, “Eh.” At least Suri won’t get scoldings for saying, “My daddy’s gay” any longer.

Tom and his penis strike a pose back when they were posing as straight.

Tom and his penis strike a pose back when they were posing as straight.

So I was surprised this morning to hear that British Olympic So-So Tom Daley had come out. The surprise wasn’t in that he’s gay. I along with most of the world had already reached that conclusion once it was legal for us to do so. The surprise was how much the world seemed to care.

Maybe it’s because of all the hullabaloo over the Olympics, Russia, and how the gays attending the Winter Olympics will be treated next year. Maybe it’s because Tom has grown up into such a fine specimen of manhood in front of the world’s eyes. Maybe it’s because just when we were coming to terms with the fact it is probably not all right to still be perving over Paul Walker’s luscious body now that he’s dead, an even hotter celebrity body has stepped up and gone gay for our sexual fantasy lives. Maybe it’s because we’re all used to seeing Tom in the same state of undress as your latest conquest just before you reach out and slip his underwear off.

Tom’s gayness has been a subject in the media for quite some time now. There have been numerous stories in the press, some of which involved legal problems for those who made that claim in an inappropriate way. Tom has remained steadfast about being straight throughout. Until now. So I guess he just came out as a liar too. But we won’t go there. The important thing is he just become the world’s gay fantasy boy. Or will have just as soon as he shaves his damn legs.

. . . and speaking of Tom’s back.

. . . and speaking of Tom’s back.

Younger gays deciding to come out to the world often turn to social media these days. I like those who do so via Twitter. Brevity is not one of my talents so I respect it in others. And it’s difficult to misconstrue what was said when it was said in 140 characters or less. Tom went with YouTube instead. Which meant you had to actually go watch his coming out clip. Or jut rely on the reports elsewhere from those who supposedly did. I suspect many who reported on his coming out didn’t actually watch his YouTube video. Not that I can blame them. When you pull that clip up, as cute a he looks in his heather grey T-shirt and just-reached-puberty facial hair, a whole slew of videos of Tom in his skimpy bathing suit are offered up as related clips and . . . well, what to watch is an easy decision to make. Besides, we already knew Tom was gay. Or at leas suspected his penis was.

Tom introduced his video with the statement, “This has been a hard decision to make, but I wanted you to hear this from me.” Which tells you he really needs a publicist. I know the Brits commonly wreck havoc with the English language, but still, grammatically speaking ‘difficult’ would have been the more appropriate word to use. When you are about to tell the world – who has been fantasizing about your body for years – that you’re gay, using the word ‘hard’ . . . well, the news is supposed to be about you and not about the physical reaction of everyone else. Hiring a publicist is good advice for any male celebrity coming out these days. And with corporate sponsorships being all the rage, I’d bet you could land a lucrative endorsement deal if your coming out was sponsored by Astro-Glide.

Publicist-less, Tom’s announcement left the media to craft its own headlines with Tom Daley Comes Out As A Gay Man being the typical attention-grabbing attempt at journalism. Which is putting words in Tom’s mouth. When that’s not what most of us want to be putting in Tom’s mouth. The fact is Tom did not say he’s gay. He says, “Come this spring, my life changed — massively — when I met someone. They make me feel so safe, happy, and everything just feels so right. And that someone is a guy.” Proving it’s difficult – and sometimes even hard – to stop using gender neutral pronouns when you’ve relied on them for so long More importantly, Tom immediately adds: “Of course I still fancy girls. But right now I’m dating a guy, and I couldn’t be happier.”

Oh, Tom. You were doing so good.

Tom make a splash with is YouTube video about fancying girls but dating a penis anyway.

Tom make a splash with is YouTube video about fancying girls but dating a penis anyway.

When giving gay face is your natural inclination, delivering that line with a straight face is difficult. And guaranteed to not get anyone hard. And when you are finally ready to admit to the world that the idea of other mens’ penises does, it’s a shame you put so much effort into the announcement and still manage to fail to provide the money shot. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. But bisexuals are probably a figure of your imagination. And ‘pussy’ has never sprung to anyone’s mind when they thought about Tom Daley. Unless it was preceded by ‘boy.’

In his not quite coming out video Tom says he was taken by surprise by his feelings for his unidentified boyfriend (not that he’d actually use the B word) but that that possibility has always been at the back of his mind. Uh, huh. He also says the reason he decided to post his video rather than come out in the press was that he didn’t want his words to be twisted, that he wanted to put an end to the rumors and speculation. Uh, huh. Possibly, using the word ‘gay’ at least once in your five+ minute video might have accomplished that task. Of course when it’s been less than a month since you launched the publication of your 2014 Calendar, any publicity is good publicity. One can only hope fellow British Olympian Louis Smith does it better.

Just last September during an interview with The Mirror, Tom said: “I think it’s funny when people say I’m gay…I laugh it off. I’m not. But even if I was, I wouldn’t be ashamed. It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest what people thought.” Which must have made his not-boyfriend-just-the-guy-I’m-dating feel all warm and fuzzy. But then Tom is known for his body and not for his mind; for being cheered and adored for jumping into lukewarm chlorinated water, not for braving the depths of honesty and transparency. In Tom’s world his frequent ‘I’m not gay’ statements are not lies. That’s just Tom being ‘vague’. But then maybe ‘vague’ is British slang for ‘gay’. ‘Cuz if there is one thing you can say about Tom, it’s that the boy is pretty damn vague.

So just who is the top to Tom’s bottom?

So just who is the top to Tom’s bottom?

Now that despite Tom’s best efforts we have confirmation that the boy has a more than passing relationship with penis – not to mention that as suspected all Olympic divers really are gay – just who scored Tom’s butt is next on the rumor agenda. Back when the 19-year-old Olympic bronze medallist admitted to only dating girls (that’d be last July) Tom gushed over how hot One Direction’s Harry Styles was, even saying, “Harry would obviously beat me in a pulling competition. I wouldn’t stand a chance.” Uh, huh. Again. Thanks for sharing one of your fantasies Tom, but Harry says he’s not bisexual, a statement that wasn’t at all vague. Besides, it’s been Tom’s bromance with fellow band member and not gay or bisexual either Liam Payne that made the news. But Tom says he met his Boy Special last spring, and by then he and Liam’s fling was old hat. And Tom was busy ‘dating’ US Diver Kassidy Cook then anyway. Maybe ‘Kassidy Cook’ is British slang for ‘Kristian Ipsen’.

Fellow Olympian and all around hottie – not to mention possibly vague – Anthony Ogogo appeared on Tom’s television show Splash, and certainly could qualify as the top in Tom’s life. But the timing isn’t quite right for that pairing either. Unless ‘January’ is British slang for ‘spring’. As much of a celebrity as Tom is, his world still primarily revolves around diving. And with all of the vague men who make that sport their career, not-boyfriend material is plentiful in Tom’s world. So there’s a good chance he met his current vaguely not gay not a boyfriend at the Barcelona World Diving Championships.

Tom and his penis’ reaction to their first glimpse of Kevin Chavez.

Tom and his penis’ reaction to their first glimpse of Kevin Chavez.

China’s Qiu Bo and He Chong are both good not-a-boyfriend material. But that’s more my fantasy than Tom’s and I’m sure he was already familiar with both as those two divers have frequently beaten his ass in the past. And we’re looking for a potential who has other uses for Tom’s ass anyway. U.S. diver David Boudia would qualify too, but he’s been busy convincing the world he is not gay by getting married. ‘Cuz that has always been so believable about vague celebrities and athletes in the past. Mexico’s former world’s most impressive unibrow contender Yahel Castillo would certainly put Tom’s speedo in a state of unrest, but Yahel’s massive bulge made it’s debut at the Olympics in 2012 and Tom had to have noticed that impressive stretching of lycra along with the rest of the world back then. Danell Leyva certainly did.

It’s a shame Tom’s team mate Chris Mears couldn’t make the timing cut. But you have to assume for Chris it’s been a been there done that existence as far as Tom goes anyway. However, relatively new to the scene and a perfect specimen of everything drool-worthy in a man is Mexico’s Kevin Chavez, who exemplifies everything in a not-a-boyfriend Tom could possibly want. Those abs, those thighs, that el massivo bulge . . . we’re talking Greg Louganis quality meat back when Greg was quality meat. And the timing works. You probably haven’t seen much of Kevin yet, but one look will have you wishing for seeing more of him. Much more. And if he didn’t catch Tom’s eye, and end up being pitcher to Tom’s catcher, come the 2014 Olympics Tom might just be releasing a new video. ‘Cuz same-sex marriage is legal in Brazil.

Kevin Chavez is my vote for Tom’s not-a-boyfriend.

Kevin Chavez is my vote for Tom’s not-a-boyfriend.

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Out This Week: Yup, That’s What Happens When You Go To Prison

23 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in It's A Gay World, Out This Week

≈ Comments Off on Out This Week: Yup, That’s What Happens When You Go To Prison

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Coming Out, Movies & Television

Wentworth Miller announces he is a gay man. “Cuz we’d have never guessed.

Wentworth Miller announces he is a gay man. “Cuz we’d have never guessed.

In case you missed the news, no longer a celebrity Wentworth Miller came out of his humongous closet on Wednesday via a letter he sent to a Russian film festival turning down their request that he host their function, as a protest against the country’s recent anti-gay legislation. The letter, which miraculously appeared on the internet even before the film festival organizers received their copy, says:

“Thank you for your kind invitation. As someone who has enjoyed visiting Russia in the past and can also claim a degree of Russian ancestry, it would make me happy to say yes. However, as a gay man, I must decline.”

Okay, so maybe his move is a tad bit better than refusing to order a shot of Stoli, but on the larger stage a film festival that can’t do any better than a celebrity whose only press coverage over the last 4 years has been gay rumors isn’t quite up there with the Winter Olympics. Not that anyone gay has figured out what to do about that boondoggle yet. And while you have to give the 41-year-old star of Prison Break credit for coming out when he doesn’t have a soon to be published book to promote, I’d care more if:

In my dreams. In Wentworth’s too no doubt.

In my dreams. In Wentworth’s too no doubt.

He’d come out when his career was on the rise instead of when being considered as a contestant on Dancing With The Stars;

His name wasn’t Wentworth, ‘cuz when you name your child Wentworth you just know how that’s gonna turn out;

He wasn’t British, ‘cuz when your child is British you just know how that’s gonna turn out;

He’d come out back when I was still in touch with my friend Jay, so I could have collected on that $100 bet that the boy was family;

He’d not spent so much time and effort in the past denying he was gay . . . like, “I’m not gay, I’m just shy,” was any more believable than Jeremy Renner‘s claim that he’s just too busy to be dating girls;

He’d come out in tandem with co-star Dominic Purcell, ‘cuz I’d really like to see those two get their gay on;

He’d posed at least shirtless back when he had a hot body, without all those god awful tatoos, and;

I wasn’t so busy trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Bradley Manning is now a ladyboy namd Chelsea

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Out This Week: The WWE Flys The Rainbow Flag

15 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in It's A Gay World, Out This Week

≈ 2 Comments

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Coming Out

The WWE’s Darren Young joins the ranks of out professional sports athletes.

The WWE’s Darren Young joins the ranks of out professional sports athletes.

Joining the NBA’s Jason Collins and Tim Duncan and Boxing’s Orlando Cruz and Oscar Dela Hoya, yesterday’s abrupt announcement by WWE Superstar Darren Young that he is not only gay but happy adds yet another professional athlete to the roster of those who proudly wear the rainbow flag; professional wrestling can now boast of its own gay player. I know. But as it turns out not everyone involved with professional wrestling is in fact gay. Whodathunk?

. . .  and strikes a pose to prove it isn’t just a publicity stunt.

. . . and strikes a pose to prove it isn’t just a publicity stunt.

Young, AKA Fred Rossen, AKA Fred Rosser, AKA Fred Sampson, AKA Fred Sanford, AKA Frederick of Hollywood, AKA Officer Sampson, AKA No Day Off, AKA Cocoa Pebbles, the 6’1”, 239 lb, 33-year-old native New Jersey boy who is a rising star in World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. (WWE) was sandbagged for a short interview by a camera man for TMZ at the baggage carousel at LAX yesterday when, in response to being asked whether a gay wrestler could survive in the WWE, he said, “Absolutely. Look at me. I’m a WWE superstar and to be honest with you, I’ll tell you right now, I’m gay. And I’m happy. I’m very happy.”

Young in action. And yes, in pink.

Young in action. And yes, in pink.

For the record, Darren is now the first openly gay wrestler ever at WWE. And the first headlining wrestler ever to come out while still signed to a major promotion. Also, for the record, Young’s Twitter description, which reads, “As comfortable in the VIP section as he is in the ring, Darren Young’s life revolves around three things — money, women and wrestling,” might need to be updated.

Young pictured with two unidentified drag queens from back when the sport promoted him as a ladies man.

Young pictured with two unidentified drag queens from back when the sport promoted him as a ladies man.

John Cena, a fellow wrestler who those outside of the teenage boys the sport is marketed to might have heard of, congratulated Young for finally coming out, saying, “Good for him. That’s fantastic … I know Darren personally. Darren’s a great guy. That’s a very bold move for him. And congratulations for him for actually finally doing it.” Cena, whose older brother is gay, added that he expected this wouldn’t have any effect on Young’s career. A safe bet since the WWE doesn’t perform in Russia.

The WWE released a statement this morning in support of Young’s coming out while plugging its Be A STAR anti-bullying rally to be held today in Los Angeles at which Young will appear. Whether the promoter will treat Young’s future in the sport in the manner he deserves or if instead it will be a rerun of WWE star Orlando Jordan, who when it became known was bisexual was turned into a ridiculous pervert who sprayed lotion all over himself because it looked like ejaculate, remains to be seen. On the plus side, there is already a Darren Young action figure on the market, so we can only hope for a whole new series of One Direction doll memes.

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Sawatdee and welcome to the new and improved Bangkokbois Gay Thailand Blog! Okay, so it’s not necessarily improved, just hosted on a new site. And it’s not just about Thailand, though that still is the main focus. And it’s not all gay either, unless you’re not and then you’ll think it’s pretty damn gay I’m sure. All of the penis might tip you off. Which means if you are not of the required legal age to be looking at penis other than your own, you should leave. And go tell your parental units they suck at their job.

But it is a blog and one out of three ain’t bad. Besides, Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand Blog For People Of Legal Age is just too wordy. But so is Dancing With The Devil In The City Of Angels, which is really the title of this blog.

As cool of a title as that is, Google just ain’t sharp enough to figure out that means this blog is mostly about Thailand. And pretty damn gay to boot. The penis part even Google figured out. Which is a good thing. ‘Cuz Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand With Lots Of Penis Blog For People Of Legal Age, I think, was taken by someone else.

Move along, there’s nothing to see here folks; pay no attention to that man behind the curtain:

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