Into The Breach: A First Timer’s Experience At Tawan

25 Friday Oct 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil, The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

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Not long ago I highlighted a reader’s comment – in two parts – in which he told the story of his first time visit to Soi Twilight, by posting it as an article rather than just as a comment to a post I’d written. It was an entertainingly written tale and much more interesting than whatever it was I’d originally thought about posting that day. Its appeal was twofold: for old hands it stirred pleasant memories from years gone by; for newbies it was instructional, another view of what to expect upon entering Bangkok’s gogo bar world for the first time. Posting that reader’s story was not intended as the beginning of a new recurring category for this blog.

Andi, who has been sharing his story of not only his first visit but the subsequent one too as comments to various posts began his tale before that one came in. His too provides a good example of one man’s inaugural experience with the bar boys of Bangkok. I didn’t/haven’t posted his as an article, but thinking about it now should go back and dig those out. I love reading about other’s experiences, it’s why I first began reading the message boards. At one time those type of tales were common. Nowadays, not so much. I mean I’m glad you had a wonderful time in Thailand, but a trip report that is nothing more but a long list of orgasms bought and paid for is a bit boring. Nice for you that you offed a bar boy who had a massive cock, but it does little to add to the record. Even if it did add another notch to your bed post.

Now, fresh off the press, comes another first timer’s tale, this one about Tawan. It too was submitted as a comment. But it’s an engagingly told tale and humorously written to boot. Even though the writer makes that annoying British error of inserting an S into words that are supposed to have a Z. Despite that petty annoyance, there’s wisdom here too. “It’s not what you pay; it’s whether you consider you’ve gotten the value from the expense” sums up the entire issue of how much? succinctly. I’ve always felt that attitude plays a much mor significant role in whether your time spent in the bars and with the guys is a success or not. Whether it is your first or 500th visit. And it sounds like Caleb’s introduction to Tawan was quite the success:

Gentlemen, each of our experiences (above) differ, but each comes down to (a) the bar on the night, (b) communication and (c) the attitude with which one approaches both sides of the baht. I love muscle, I love smooth, brown skin. Put the two together and I chose Tawan as a starting point for getting ‘Soi’led. As well, having the sort of guide that says, “Go on, swim.” and then tells you where the deep end is and how deep, what could I do but test the scenario? Herewith two nights.

Background: on my way to BKK I purchased some of what I consider ’General Reading’ magazines: DNA magazine, OUT magazine and a body-building magazine. I also had travelled Business Class where they hand out those little packs with eye-shades and toothbrushes in them.

So, given all the parameters studded within the First-timers Guide I – V, I managed to choose a hotel close to a bar that stocked my predilection, reconnoitre the area during the day while the bars were closed, counted the streets from A to B, noted the landmarks to and fro, filled my wallet with an estimation based on the Guide and then buggered off to have a manicure.

The hotel I chose had a promotion that gave – among other things – a voucher to a male-only beauty salon which comprised a free facial, manicure and pedicure. I hadn’t shaved, so I thought the facial was out until I mentioned it to the non-English speaking Thai apprentice who queried my comments with the manager. Can do – they did shaves! Heaven. One more thing to cross off my must-do list. So I had a manicure, a pedicure, a man shave me (such a sexy feeling, so sleek) and a facial (with a limb massage as this-and-that was waiting to dry), all for B600 / $10. I’m staying here again! I gave the guy that dealt with my peripheries and the guy that did the facial and massage B300 / $5 each, for which they pled their troth for eternity. Do you remember the opening scenes from Liasons Dangeroux, where John Malkovich wakes and dresses for his meeting with Glenn Close? Same same but different: I went in at three and floated out at just before eight. I was in the zone.

Then to the Tawan, my go-go bar of choice, a block away. I followed the First-timers Guide as closely as I could remember:

Tipped the captain [x],
didn’t stop and gawk [x],
sat nonchalantly and smiled at all and sundry [x],
bought drinks for them as the ‘boys’ turned up at the table [x],
didn’t wave anyone away [x].
agreed to shout the three best boys to dinner [x]
apologised to a fourth, but said I’d be back tomorrow night [x]
convivially told them to order what they wanted [x]
paid [x]
went back to the hotel room and chatted [x]
bought out the muscle mag [triumph!]

I explained en route that the night would not necessarily involve sex. Well, Foucault me if their jaws didn’t drop when I said that I just wanted to chill and talk. “But what about sex?”, they each said to each other and then to me. “We can’t go back to the [go-go bar] now! We’re full and sleepy. Sure you don’t want something from us?” (Thinks: No, lads, but you are now under my Nice Guy spell. I’ll see you all tomorrow night.) Sex would have ruined the moment of having three body builders on my bed and unmasked me for the cad I am; tomorrow night runs to a different script.

I ended up gaining face by not wanting head; I ogled, touched through clothes while comparing with the magazine, had a jolly chat about where we’d been (none of us from Bangkok: one Isan Thai, one Yunnan Thai and one very, very, very cute English-speaking Lao boy… well, men – all of them), then they left intact and new best friends; they’ll relay all this to their buddies at the bar. I have laid the groundwork for another night that will be much more visceral.

It’s not what you pay; it’s whether you consider you’ve gotten the value from the expense.

As predicated in the First Timers’ Guide, I was hailed upon entry to Tawan last night, except that I turned up before 8PM, their clock-on time (literally – they have to bundy on). I wanted to see the befores and the afters. And I did, muscle lads playing dominoes, smoking, pumping up on equipment and caffeine, all dressed. I was welcomed by the captain, met by the boys from the previous night with out-stretched hands which they avoided by hugging me instead. (Fine by me). I had a drink, explained to the lads that I would be dining alone and acquainting myself with the area before returning at a decent time. They begged that I let them walk with me.
(Lesson: the boys would rather not be on stage.)

So, into the night . . .

*
I just ushered three straight body builders from my hotel room after a mutually negotiated and mutually satisfying sex session. I tried to run a dignified show, but then these boys took over and four men got off in their own time and in their own way, with no-one’s borders being crossed nor dignity compromised. (For study purposes, each of them was well to very well endowed, and this from what amounts to a random sampling.) Towels and pillows everywhere, but boys are such slobs. I paid each the base rate of B2000 plus another 1000 under various pretexts, so $100 each for a full-on fantasy scenario. Going out drinking with them tomorrow night – to their places. I know one will come back with me, and he’s beautiful. I have a handful of dreams a-comin’.

I’m keeping the complementary toiletries bag for another slim young thing I found at Nature Boys. (What? I was a Boy Scout – be prepared. And know your market.)

Not bad for a first-timer, methinks.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

One Night In Bangkok (Part A)

A First Timer’s Visit To Gay Pattaya – Part 1: A Pattaya State Of Mind

The Myth That Is Tawan

Eye Candy: Working Boy

29 Saturday Jun 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil, Eye Candy

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Nude Dudes, Tawan Bar

Huh.
I know that between Photoshop skills and outright thievery of pictures you can’t really trust hook-up ads coming out of China, but I gotta wonder if one of Tawan’s most famous studs hasn’t expanded his horizons. And business. It’d help if I read Chinese, maybe he’s just advertising locally. Regardless, the boy just gets hotter and hotter and hotter.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

Eye Candy: A Familiar Face

A Walk On The Wild Side @ BangkokÆs Tawan Bar

A Walk On The Wild Side @ Bangkok’s Tawan Bar

The Myth That Is Tawan

08 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil, The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 37 Comments

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs, Tawan Bar

Tawan: Home of Muscle Gods and Misconceptions

Maybe the myth that is Tawan makes sense. For gay men who are into muscle, Tawan holds a special place in their fantasies not unlike Shangri-la, Utopia, Cockaigne, or Ys, all mythical locales of pleasure and indulgence. The difference – beside the naked beefcake – is that Tawan is not just a legendary place; it’s real. Tawan, if it were just imaginary, would be heaven on earth for many. Confronted with the reality of the place, many walk away disappointed. Many more never even make it to the bar’s doors, but have no problem in helping to build its reputation, one that is constructed by misconceptions.

The myth that is Tawan is difficult to resist, even for those who will never visit the place. No other bar in Thailand manages to capture the attention of so many. And no other bar in Thailand manages to get so much bad and incorrect press. Part of the Tawan’s PR problem, just like with other places of legend, is rather than turn to fact many prefer to stay within the realm of fantasy. Tawan as a subject comes up on the gay Thailand forums regularly. Most often the thread is started by someone who has heard of the bar, has not been there, and has a few questions – usually already demonstrating they’ve fallen for the hype by the manner in which their question is posed. In one such thread not long ago, three punters – Pattaya aficionados – all immediately chimed in with valuable advice. All three stated they do not like muscular men. All three stated they had never been to the bar. And then all three went on to complain that the guys who work at Tawan are duds in bed and charge the highest fees in Thailand. None of which is true, all of which the three claimed they had heard from a friend.

This has led to the bar’s undeserved reputation. And it is not just the cost of Tawan boys that have become exaggerated, everything about the bar takes on unrealistic proportions in the collective mind of the internet. Meanwhile, back in the real world, Tawan packs customers in even when the other bars in town are empty, the guys there get offed more frequently than they do elsewhere, and happy customers return again and again. Tawan is one of the oldest continually operating male gogo bars in Bangkok. The owner and manager have been running the place for decades and know what they are doing. And speaking from personal experience, I have never once been disappointed with any guy I have offed from Tawan. Which have been legion.

Six packs are not cheap, but it won’t cost you an arm and a leg to enjoy his arms and legs either.

The Myth: Tawan Guys Charge More.
The Reality: Many seem to buy into the idea that pound for pound the more muscular bar boys in Bangkok should command a higher tip. And I really can’t disagree. Though in my fee schedule it is the twinky little fems who should be penalized with a discount from the norm rather than the muscular being awarded bonus baht. But the fact is that the off fee and average tip is the same within any bar regardless of the build or masculinity of the boy. And while off fees from one bar to the next may fluctuate, the guys from Dream Boys, where the off is the highest on Soi Twilight, do not generate higher tips than do the guys from any of the other bars on the soi. The same holds true for Tawan. Just because the bar specializes in muscle does not mean the boys there are worthy of higher tips. Regardless of how willing some may be to pay them more.

This idea always springs from the mind of the uninitiated, those who have not experienced the bar world of Thailand. First, bar boys in Thailand do not charge a set fee. The system is based on tips, the amount of which is up to you. Yes, some bar boys specify how much they want in advance (though I believe in many cases this is in answer to being asked how much they charge and not something they initiate.) But that is not the norm.

Tawan guys do in fact often get higher tips than boys working in the other bars around town. Part of that is the misconception among punters that they are supposed to pay a bigger tip. The fact is this is not true. The boys are just as happy (well not as happy, but just as willing) to accept the normal short or long time tip paid elsewhere. Large tips at Tawan are a self-fulfilling prophecy started by customers. There is no reason for you to buy into the falsehood. Tip as you would at any other gogo bar in Bangkok.

Tawan guys might just surprise you.

The Myth: Tawan Guys are duds in bed.
The Reality: The ratio of duds and studs at Tawan is no different than at any other gogo bar in Thailand. How good of a time you have in bed with any one of them – or with any bar boy – has a lot to do with your attitude and with your preconceptions. In a perfect world every guy working in a bar would automatically know just what each of his customers wants, and then would deliver the time of your life. In reality, bar boys are not mind readers, what makes one customer ecstatic does nothing for the next. So communication is key.

Before agreeing to off a guy you should fully communicate exactly what you want unless you will be happy with whatever you get. If it is important to you, speak up. Telling the guy what it is you want to do and what it is you want him to do provides him with the information he needs to make your ending a happy one. And if what you want is beyond his abilities, most will tell you so. Though you may want to brush up on Thai culture and nonverbal communication covered elsewhere in this blog so you know what it is he is really saying.

You will also find that the guys at Tawan, likes bar boys elsewhere in the city, react well to customers who show them a good time and are enjoyable to be with. Sanook, the Thai ideal of having fun, is part of their culture and you’ll have more of the fun you are interested in if you in turn see that they too enjoy themselves. Just being pleasant to be around can make a big difference. Try smiling – it will put a smile on your face after you are done if you start out with one.

I realize newbies to the bar world are a bit nervous, are unfamiliar with the process, and many off a guy expecting him, as the experienced one, to know what to do. It seldom happens that way. You have to take matters in your own hands unless you want the results to be no better than if you stayed in your hotel room and took matters in your own hands.

Ready, able . . . willing?

The Myth: Tawan Guys Won’t Do Anything In Bed.
The Reality: The truth is there are some things guys from Tawan won’t do in bed. And then again, some will. It’s easy to claim after the fact that the guy you offed was not willing to perform. Or only did enough to earn his tip and then flee. Regardless of who should be responsible for your satisfaction, again, it is up to you to determine how well things turn out.

Many Tawan bar boys get offed by customers who want to do nothing more than admire their muscular bodies. It is a standard of customer desire for that bar, and it is one of the few things that differentiate Tawan from the other bars; muscle worshipers need muscles to worship. How does the guy know that that is not what you want unless you tell him so? Most of the guys working at Tawan want to please you. And being Thai, do not want to do anything to displease you. Give them a hint. Seldom will they initiate specific sexual moves out of concern that whatever it is they thought up is something that would not be to your liking.

Once in bed is not the time to determine if the guy you offed is willing to do the things that curl your toes. Lay out the parameters of your desires before leaving the bar. Or better yet, just go with the flow and enjoy whatever comes your way.

But is he really straight?

The Myth: Tawan Guys Are All Straight.
The Reality: Almost all of the guys working at Tawan are straight. So this one is true. But then so are most of the bar boys working at gogo bars in Thailand. Who cares? Let’s not forget where it is they are working and what that job entails. Having sex with another man might not be on their list of favorite things to do, but it is something they have agreed to. And Thais tend to be quite fluid about sexual identity.

Just like bar boys working elsewhere, both gay and straight, some kiss, some don’t. It has nothing to do with being straight or gay. Some are willing to top, some are willing to bottom. Neither may be a natural choice but if needed the little blue pill is a bar boy’s best friend, and if you have set them up to want to please you – and are willing to be discreet – you’d be surprised at how many of these macho studs will roll over for you.

I’m always amazed by punters who claim they would never off a straight bar boy. First, unless the guy is a screaming queen, the idea that they would know how the guy self identifies is ridiculous. Just as humorous is the idea that a gay bar boy is the holy grail. The boy’s sexuality has little to do with how good of a time you will have with him. You are just as likely to land a dud who is gay as you are one who is straight. And gay bar boys are no more likely to want to do whatever you have in mind than straight ones are.

There are muscle gods and then there are muscles . . .

The Myth: Tawan Guys Are All Muscle Gods
The Reality: I feel for the touri who make the grand pilgrimage to Tawan during off season when there are no body building contests on the horizon. Expecting to walk into a muscle queen’s wet dream, he enters Tawan only to find a stage full of beefy – and running to fat – guys who even the most generous, at best, would call not that good looking.

Even at the height of the season when all the current crop of stars are in the house there is still a B list – or maybe that’s C or even D list – of guys working Tawan who qualify as beef thanks to flab not muscle. Do not expect that every one will be a god. The hottest guys tend to get offed early, so waiting for the midnight show to hit the bar is not a good idea if you plan on offing a boy. Go early. And if you arrive ten to fifteen minutes before showtime, don’t think that the guys on stage are all that is available that night. Many who will be in the show are busy getting ready for their grand entrance. It may pay to hang around and wait to see who else makes an appearance before you make your selection.

Tawan has survived for decades because it consistently offers Bangkok’s best selection of well-built guys. Despite the rumors you may have heard, the boys there are friendly and willing to please. Ignore what you may have heard, go with an open mind and with a friendly attitude and you will have a good time. Communicate your desires before offing a guy, tip him the amount you feel comfortable with, and you are guaranteed a happy ending.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

Bangkok’s Tawan Bar: Muscle Men Central

Cha Cha Chai

A Walk On The Wild Side @ Bangkok’s Tawan Bar

Your Heart’s Desire

19 Tuesday Jun 2012

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil, The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Nude Dudes, Tawan Bar

So, okay, maybe we’re talking a few feet south of your heart, but in the never ending world of free glossy magazines aimed at gay visitors to Bangkok, it’s been proven the way to a man’s heart is through his gonads. And since that’s also the direct line to his wallet, pseudo-publishers have consistently attempted to become The choice of bar rags for Bangkok’s sex touri. All claim to be the definitive guide in an attempt to entice advertisers to part with some baht, many come and go quicker than a bar boy on a short-time off. The newest to hit the scene is Desire. The monthly guide made its debut in February, and for those not in Thailand there is a website where you can check out pix of the guy they decided to feature as their latest model each month.

I haven’t seen the publication yet myself, but from its website it looks like they took the standard traditional approach: A cover model with more shots of him inside, a map of the gay establishments within the city, coverage of past events at some of the bars – Tawan’s 25th Anniversary, which had been scheduled when the floods hit town and then put off until earlier this year is covered and is how I ran across the site – and the occasional color story in an attempt to suggest the mag is a serious piece of journalism.

Blazing a new trail is never a popular choice in Thailand; why do all that work when someone before you already did. Regardless of their lack of success. But then you can never go wrong with picture of hot guys, and few ever bother to read the articles these magazine print anyway. I’d be surprised if the map they supply isn’t out of date and missing half the places you know of too, because that too is a tradition with these freebee mags.

The Models section of the website features guys who have graced their magazine’s pages in the past, and there are ‘making of’ styled clips of the photography sessions too. I checked out about a half a dozen of the slideshows but since the guys were all younger and less beefy than I prefer my eye candy, I didn’t bother to watch any of the videos. Ya’ll might find hours of entertainment there however.

The Web Board section seems to be an index of sort, with links to more slightly twinky guys in the Desire Gallery section, links to a section called Talon on Tour that is not filled with pix of ladyboys as you might expect but rather seems a half-hearted attempt at providing an overview of some of Bangkok’s and the surrounding area’s tourist attractions (it’s all in Thai and hardly worth translating), and a link to a singular picture under the Desire Show heading that is of a ladyboy and 8 ladyboy wannabes from the ICK pub. Who is an advertiser. Big surprise there.

A lot of the site is under construction or contains dead links – also a tradition for Thai websites – but the G-Pop section has more half naked twinks. There’s also a section called Ask Plernpiss, an advice column from a fat ~~drag queen~~ ladyboy which I was gonna translate but then saw all the 555s sprinkled through the text and figured I’d do just as well reading one of Martin911 posts on the message boards.

The Party and Event section of the site is where I found the Tawan boys’ pix, there’s is also coverage of some event at Ocean Boys, which has since closed its doors and which may be a sign of things to come for Desire too. Folding, is after all a tradition of bar rags in Bangkok too. There are about 20 events covered in this section, so lots of eye candy for you to check out. The bars include the aforementioned ICK as well as a place called Cloud Nine, so I’m guessing Desire covers the local bars too not just those frequented by farang touri.

Dick’s Cafe on Soi Twilight usually has copies of these free mags on the small shelf under each table and it’s always fun to browse through them to see if you spot any familiar faces. I keep hoping I’ll run across a picture of Noom so I can tease him for the next ten years. If you are eating dinner at Dick’s they also work well to slip under the table legs to keep the table from rocking.

Since it’s Tighty Whitey Tuesday today, I’ll post one more photo from Desire and throw ya’ll a twink. Or you can go find your own:

http://www.bangkokdesire.com

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

Bangkok’s Tawan Bar: Muscle Men Central

Eye Candy: A Familiar Face

Bangkok Gay Gogo Shows: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

A Failure To Communicate

21 Saturday Jan 2012

Posted by Bangkokbois in The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs, Tawan Bar

In the movie Cool Hand Luke, the prison boss has a famous line: “What we got here is failure to communicate.” Paul Newman, in the title role, was the one not capable of comprehending and it earned him a long stay in the box, a harsh form of solitary confinement used to punish disobedient prisoners. Many visitors to the gay gogo Bars of Bangkok fall victim to miscommunication too. And their reward is often just as onerous, though it usually results in a lack of pleasure rather than the delivery of pain and humiliation. Even if that is what you are into.

Cool Hand Luke’s problem was his failure to understand the rules and workings of the Florida prison farm’s system. In his case it was more of a disregard for that culture than not knowing. In the case of gogo bar patrons it’s often more a case of not understanding the cultural workings of Thailand. Their inability to speak Thai coupled with bar boys’ limited knowledge of English exacerbates the problem. And it’s often times not words, but actions that lead to the miscommunication. Regardless, the customer ends up walking away with a foul taste in his mouth, unhappy with his not so happy ending. If he fails to learn from his mistakes, he soon becomes one of the masses who swears all bar boys are scammers interested in nothing more than lifting as much money off of customers as possible for doing as little as necessary.

The vocal majority of customers tend to fall in one of two camps, a black and white world where bar boys are either downtrodden angels in need of saving by the Big Bawana, or devilish scammers who treat customers like walking ATMs. Neither is a true picture. Most patrons of gay gogo bars in Thailand realize that like with any group of people there are good folk and there are bad folk. The truth is that the majority of Thai guys working in gay gogo bars will provide good service for a reasonable tip. The devil, however, is in the details.

On one year-end trip to the Big Mango I stopped into Dick’s Cafe on Soi Twilight for dinner. The restaurant was packed and I stood at the bar waiting for the next available table to open. Another customer’s arrival coincided with a table becoming available and a waiter, not realizing I’d been waiting, started showing the new guy to his seat. The host who’d been watching for a table for me rushed over and got in his face. Rather than get into an argument, I suggested to the other customer we share the table. We did, and he was an affable guy with whom I got along great.

David was an Aussie, a not-out gay man on his third night in Bangkok. We shared tales about bars and guys we’d offed and decided to hit the bars together after dinner. Not too old, not too bad looking, David had a ready smile for everyone and made for a great running partner. We shared a taste in men and joked about which of us called dibbs on the few muscle guys on the soi. Tawan is the bar for muscle aficionados, and it wasn’t belong before we headed down Suriwong to Bangkok’s muscle paradise. On the way, David told me that he’d been to Tawan the night before, had offed a guy, and had not been happy with the bar boy’s behavior.

“He had an incredible body!” David told me. “But pushy. Non-stop. It was all about money.”

I sympathized with him. Guys at Tawan tend to get top dollar. They are a slightly different breed than guys working the other bars and are used to getting lots of baht for little to no work on their part. “He didn’t want to do anything?” I asked, knowing that is the usual complaint about Tawan boys.

“No, no,” he replied. “He was willing enough, gave me a great massage, and told me in the bar he wouldn’t bottom. But he wanted me to take him to Australia with me! He even showed me his passport.”

Hitting up a new customer for a trip to Oz was a bit brazen even for a guy from Tawan. I could understand how the boy’s aggressiveness would be off-putting, even if he did perform as promised. I figured David had run across one of those bar boys who tries to cash in big time off any customer who offs him. David finished his tale just about the time we arrived at the bar. We’d barely sat down at our table before Nut, a bar boy with whom I had a history spotted me and came running over. I’d been offing Nut for years, had been his very first customer, and usually hooked up with him on every trip. Often for nothing more than a lunch or dinner. We’d become friends over the years and saw each other more often on a noncommercial basis than a business one.

Nut was all smiles, gave me a big hug, and then turned to David and greeted him by name before having to take his place on stage. When he left, David leaned over and whispered, “That’s the guy!”

Huh. I know Nut. He’s a sweetheart. And not in the least bit aggressive. I mulled David’s story over, comparing it to what I knew of Nut and quickly figured out where the problem laid. Nut had managed to get a passport earlier in the year and was quite proud of it. I’d already seen it three times. He kept it wrapped up in a cloth, obvious a valuable treasure. Showing it to David wasn’t about pushing for a trip, it was Nut sharing his good fortune, proud of owning a passport. I have no doubt in doing so, he’d said something to the effect of, “I go wit you.” But that would have been nothing more than his pride at being able to travel. Knowing Nut, more likely it was a joke.

I explained my take on what had happened to David. He wasn’t any more enthralled with Nut after I told him what his true intentions had probably been. David offed some other guy, I offed Nut, and we went our separate ways. I considered talking to Nut about David’s reading of him, thinking maybe it’d be a good thing for him to know. But then decided that it had just been Nut being his usual enthusiastic self, something I’d never want to see diminished. Nut, however, was curious about my relationship with David and asked if we were friends. When I explained we’d just met, he nodded, grimaced, and declared, “He not good customer.”

Nut was no more pleased with David than David had been with him. The problem had been partially that neither spoke the other’s language well. And they had miss-read the other’s motives. David, who was not addicted to being a butterfly, missed out on a pleasurable few days with a cute, and hot, companion. Nut missed out on the profits of a multiple-night off. All due to a failure to communicate.

“I do everyting,” is undoubtedly one of the most frequently misunderstood bar boy statements. Customers who assume that means the boy will in fact do everything the customer desires, once back in their hotel room discovers that is not the case. And then bitch to others that the boy lied. I’ve no doubt that some boys know how customers will read that claim and use it purposely to ensure they get the off. At the same time I also know that most guys working the bars learn their English from bar mates and that phrase just translates different in Thai and English. I also know that when a customer asks such an open ended question of a Thai, it’s probably his reticence over asking about specifics at work and the resulting miscommunication is his own fault.

Most muscled or masculine bar boys consider themselves ‘men,’ meaning they do not bottom. As a customer, you are supposed to know this. Thinking that bar boy may bottom is almost an insult. If you asked him, in plain English, if he does, in most cases he’ll almost say no. The more experienced will give you a definitive ‘no’, but Thais don’t like to say no. Its part of their culture to not disappoint. He may instead say something about pain, or size, or give a quick shake of his head as he addressees some other subject. Many times you’ll get the infamous, “I do everyting.”

When that happens, the customer hears, “Yes.” Because that’s what they want to hear. But the answer really is more of a “I do everything you should expect a man to do.” Which does not included bottoming.

Thai are big on not saying things directly. Their culture is built around avoiding confrontation. Thai societal rules ensure that everyone knows how they are expected to act. So there’s no need to spell it out. That’s where the ‘up to you’ comes from in asking how much a boy expects to be tipped. Sure, part of it is his hopes you’ll be more than generous. But ‘up to you’ means you know what the normal tip is and are expected to do you part. And yes, it is up to you so if you want to short-tip a guy you off you can. But as soon as he gets back to the bar he’s gonna tell all of his bar mates how cheap you are and the next time you walk into that bar, if not the entire soi, you’ll find none of the guys wants to be offed by you.

Some time ago I read a customer’s post on one of the gay Thailand message boards about the dud he’d offed from Tawan. He wasn’t as vicious about the experience as some who recount their tales are, but went into detail about all of the things the guy had done that pissed him off. Three quarters of the way through reading his post I started laughing. I knew exactly who he was writing about because the boy’s errors were quite familiar to me. And yup, it was Nut once again.

The customer had spent some time in the bar with Nut, chatting, drinking, and enjoying the show. He’d intended on offing Nut, but had not said so directly. Nut called one of his barmates over and introduced him, then started singing the guy’s praises, telling the customer how good of an off the other boy was. The customer was pissed, thinking Nut was hitting him up to off both of them. That was not the case. Since the customer did not tell Nut he wanted to off him, Nut called his bar mate over, hoping the customer would off him. Not both of them. He thought he’d struck out and was trying to find a boy acceptable to the customer.

The customer then told Nut he wanted to off him. And was pissed that Nut immediately went and got dressed, and then told the customer he would wait for him outside. The customer was unhappy because he felt Nut was pushing him, he wanted to watch the show, not immediately head back to his hotel for a night of pleasure. Again, it was a misreading of the situation.

When you agree to off a guy, he often asks if he should go change. Experience has taught the boys that once a customer decides to off them, the customer is ready to get back to his hotel and start enjoying himself. “I go change?” is really more of a “Are you ready to leave now?” Which makes sense. If you are planning on spending another hour at the bar, why would you want your boy to go put his clothes on? Who in the world would prefer a dressed guy sitting next to him over one wearing a skimpy pair of underwear?

Nut is one of those guys who actually knows how to give a massage. Before he bulked up, he used to walk on my back. I love the additional muscles he has put on over the years, both for their look and because being a muscle stud has always been his deepest desire. But I miss the days of having him walk all over me. It was not unusual for Nut to go across the street and pick up a bottle of oil in preparation for giving a massage when he was offed. When he did, he’d suggest I wait at the bar, giving me a few more minutes to drool over the guys there which was a hell of a lot more enjoyable than watching Nut buy a bottle of oil from Family Mart. That’s what he’d done with this customer too. But the customer read it as a, “Hurry up, let’s go, I’ll wait for you outside.”

So the customer was unhappy, did not have a happy ending with his happy ending, and made sure to post his displeasure so everyone would know how rotten the boys at Tawan are. Though it was a failure to communicate, I have to wonder why the guy went through with the transaction if he was so unhappy even before leaving the bar. Would it not have been better to not agree to the off, or if having already done so slip Nut 500 baht and say you changed your mind? There are guys at Tawan, as well as in the other bars, who will push for the big bucks, who will rush you along, and who will try and get as much money out of you as they can. They are easy to spot. They are the ones who push for an off and quote a figure for their time up front. If you decide to off them, then who is at fault when your night doesn’t go the way you want?

Failing to communicate in the gay gogo bar world in Bangkok is easy to do thanks to both the language barrier and differences in culture. We travel to their country, have a smattering of Thai at best, expect them to know our language, and then assume the little they do know means they are well qualified to speak and understand English. Few of us take the time to learn about their culture or how their society operates, assuming instead it is the same as back home. The bar boys know little about how our minds work either and assume we think like Thais do. It’s no wonder miscommunication occurs as frequently as it does.

Fortunately, avoiding being the victim of miscommunication is easy too. Be up front about what you want. Be specific, don’t rely on euphemisms or slang the boy may not understand. Realize that as a customer you have obligations, too. And take responsibility for your own orgasm. The guy you off is probably straight and only knows what a gay guy likes or wants through the experiences he’s had with other customers. Which may have nothing to do with what curls your toes.

Most bar boys want to please you if for no better reason that doing so may result in multiple offs and even more money in their pocket. But your cultural norms are as unfathomable to them as theirs are to you. They are not mind-readers. And farangs’ minds are truly strange things. If you’ve done your best and things still don’t go your way, before you blame the boy, consider that neither of you may have been at fault. The problem may just be due to a failure to communicate.

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A Walk On The Wild Side @ Bangkok’s Tawan Bar

28 Wednesday Dec 2011

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil, The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Gay GoGo Bars, Offs, Tawan Bar

Tawan Bar is the muscle lovers’ paradise in Bangkok.

Sure it was only a photo on an iPhone. But still, the ladyboy looked more boy than lady. Back home, she’d have transcended the drag queen moniker. But in Bangkok, the average ladyboy is a vision of fabulousness. They often fool unsuspecting tourists. And by that standard, she was sorely lacking. But then when you make your living as one of the muscle studs at Tawan Bar, pulling off the glamour of a Thai ladyboy is no mean feat.

I’d met Kim on a previous visit to Tawan Bar, Bangkok’s famous muscle palace. About a year earlier, I’d visited the bar with my friend Noom. Kim was one of the bar boys he trained. A young, slightly chubby Thai – who had for some reason decided he looked best as a blonde – Kim had a gorgeous smile and an ass just as spectacular and inviting. But I was with Noom. And while Kim was cute, he still had a bit of poundage he needed to rid himself of before he really qualified as a muscle hunk.

My more recent visit was later the same year and I’d headed to Tawan at the beginning of my trip, sans Noom. Kim had lost the blonde look as well as most of the excess weight. I was glad to see that his ass had not suffered during the process. I did not recognize him at first, but he did me and quickly planted his most outstanding feature next to mine. It always amazes me how Thai bar boys can remember a customer, even one they haven’t gone with, years later. But it’s a good trick of the trade, and a good excuse to hit a patron up for a bit of business.

Previous friendship established, and after asking, “Where Noom?’ to ensure the coast was clear, Kim got down to business. But he could not rely on the standard set of bar boy questions having already established my bona fides, and his English was not good enough to start up some other idle chitchat. Massaging my leg and then grabbing my hand to run it up his leg and onto his crotch seemed his best bet. Yes, actions do speak louder than words. Prior to meeting Noom, that would have been enough to close the sale for me, but knowing Noom would soon find out I’d offed Kim left me a bit concerned about the whole thing.

Kim sensed my reluctance. I’m not sure why he decided his iPhone photo would be a good ploy, but he pulled it out and showed me anyway. Oh, goody. A ladyboy. Not my particular brand of excitement. But I’m not always rude so I made an appreciative grunt and handed the phone back to Kim. He quickly figured out I didn’t get it, and cleared up the confusion by proudly exclaiming, “Me!” while thumbing his chest.

Tawan occasionally has a ladyboy act come in for their nightly show. And, when they decide a fucking act is needed, finds a fem guy to bottom though he is never part of their regular stable either. The guys show off their hard cocks regularly, and none seem to mind sucking or being sucked on stage. Most nights the last shows ends in a jack-off contest (featuring the boys, not the customers). But the guys at Tawan have a reputation of all being tops. And gay for pay. Scoring a bottom at Tawan is not the norm. And when you do, the boy makes sure you know he doesn’t want his barmates to know about it. The idea of one of the muscle studs having a ladyboy side to him was unusual to say the least.

I’ve spent enough time in Bangkok’s gay gogo bar world to have learned how to best communicate with guys who speak little English. I’ve also spent enough time in Bangkok’s gay gogo bar world to know all bar boys are a bit vain and love a compliment. I’ve never complimented a boy on how good he looks as a woman before, but evidently pulled it off well enough by the look of the smile on Kim’s face. And then he went for the close. “You like?”

Huh. Well, not really. Kim was cute. His newly developed body ripe. And then there was his ass. The idea of him dressed in drag didn’t do a thing for me. But the idea that he’d take on the bottom role was intriguing. However, the assumption that all ladyboys bottom is a faulty one. Most will tell you, once you get to know them, that the majority of their customers are straight and want to be fucked by a ladyboy. I’ll never understand breeders.

Still not sold, I used short words and descriptive hand gestures to ask Kim if he was willing to bottom. His reply was a big smile and an often heard – and as often false – bar boy claim, “Shure!”

Yeah. Right. Kim saw my doubt and clarified his position on positions with an emphatic nod. Double huh.

Every stud in a gogo bar looks like a hunk sitting next you in nothing but a small pair of underwear. When they change into their street clothes, sometimes your little stud turns into a little fem. With Kim’s ladyboy photo in mind, I was concerned if I did off him he’d show up dressed in drag. Thinking my disappointment would be for the opposite reason he apologized. Pointing at his cell phone as reference he said with much sorrow, “I not have clothe wit me.”

Ah, gee. What a shame. Noom was still a concern though. But we’d recently come to an agreement that it was okay for me to play (though I was supposed to tell him about it first). Minor details, what the hell, and I was sure if I’d stress the ladyboy part of Kim, Noom would not feel in the least bit threatened. Self-serving justifications I’m sure, but they were enough to calm my concerns and free me to give Kim a try. He was thrilled with the off, and I was thrilled when he showed back up in his street clothes that he looked like a guy. Off to my hotel we headed.

In my room, Kim was a bit shy and giggled a lot. But he had no problem in getting right down to business. I don’t know if with his ladyboy side he considered himself to be gay, but he responded well to kissing and by the time I’d taken all of his clothes off was hard as a rock. The little noises he made in response to a bit of ass play boded well too.

I love showering with a bar boy. Or playing in the shower with a bar boy to be more precise. Most are not as fond of the shared shower thingy and prefer to clean up in private. Kim made his preference clear when I swatted his ass and told him to go take a shower; he grabbed my hand to pull me along. I also like a bit more of a participatory indulgence than the traditional muscle worship thingy, but have to admit that I was totally satisfied with soaping Kim’s taught body up, working up a rich, sudsy lather as my hands explored every inch of his body. And then he returned the favor. Using his mouth.

Beyond clean, we used up the hotel’s supply of hot water and then he motioned me out so he could finish cleaning himself in private. That’s always a good sign when you are planning on topping a bar boy. When he finished, he walked back into the room naked and hard, not displaying any of the towel-wrapped modesty that many bar boys do. Hopping onto the bed, he showed no modesty either, quickly adopting a position that left no confusion over what he had in mind.

Triple huh. A muscle stud with the heart of a ladyboy and the habits of a sex pig. All those good karma points I’d been racking up over the year were finally paying off. I took my time with Kim; there was nothing I suggested that he balked at. And I was glad a sturdy table was part of the room’s furnishings. I think he had as good of a time as I did, he stayed rock hard throughout, and wasn’t shy about communicating what he wanted either. He blew a massive load with me deep inside of him, and then after cleaning up and showering together again, settled into my arms, wrapping his body around mine for a night’s sleep.

The next morning there was no question about whether or not we would reprise the activities of the night before. He woke me with his hand firmly around my cock, aiming it where he wanted it the most. And – damn kids – he exploded with just as much gusto as he had the night before. We cleaned up and headed down for a late breakfast before he went home. I made a mental note that I needed to off Kim again, and hoped I’d be as lucky to catch him in his non-ladyboy outfit the next time.

That night I hooked up with my friend Noom, and immediately fessed up to my night with Kim. Before I got to the ladyboy justification, Noom laughed, “He ladyboy!”

I laughed too. And then he gave me a look that clearly said, “Don’t even think about it!”

I have not been back and have not had the chance to give Kim another try. Yet. But if you are one of those who swear the studs at Tawan are all duds in bed, that they won’t do anything and never bottom; think again. There’s at least one guy working there just as built and masculine looking as the others, who is a ladyboy – and a willing bottom – at heart.

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Eye Candy: A Familiar Face

04 Thursday Aug 2011

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil, Eye Candy

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Tawan Bar

Always nice to run across a familiar face on your travels, even when your journey is through the Web. Ran across these shots this morning and thought I’d share them with you.

Cha Cha Chai

12 Tuesday Apr 2011

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil, The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ Comments Off on Cha Cha Chai

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs, Tawan Bar

I’ve been visiting the Tawan Gay Go Go Club as long as I have been visiting Bangkok. So for decades. I like guys with muscles. Thai guys with muscles. Evidently I am not in the minority. The club has been a success since inception. I get more email about Tawan than any other club. Muscled guys definitely hold a strong attraction for gay touri in Bangkok.

I get asked a lot about which guys will do what at Tawan. Sorry, that’s not an answer I give out randomly. I’m not being coy. I’ve said enough times already – but will repeat it again – it has more to do with you and your attitude than it does the bar or boi. I could tell you so and so does this, but he may not with you. Then you’d be pissed at both of us. A night with a bar boi in Bangkok is like a dance. It’s your choice in partner, your decision on who will lead, you get to pick the steps and the tune you’ll dance to. But it is up to him whether or not you’re a suitable partner. And just because he took your hand, doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll willingly agree to cha cha with you.

But I will share with you a typical result of one of my visits to Tawan. This is my tale about Chai. He didn’t work at Tawan for long. I only ran into him on one visit. And he no longer works at the bar, sad to say. Too late for you, but what luck for me . . .

I guess I was slumming it on this trip. I was staying at the Plaza on Suriwong. It is located where Chong Nonsi dead ends. About a five minute walk from Patpong and the Tawan Club. Cheap. Not inexpensive: cheap. The rooms are large. One wall is taken up by a stainless steel counter and sink. At 900 baht a night, you shouldn’t expect much in that area, and the Plaza delivers on that promise. Out dated, only clean enough to not be dirty. On the mirror in the bathroom a full page sign is taped alerting you to the hotel’s policy of charging a joiner fee if you bring back a guest to your room. Not subtle. I wonder how Mom and Dad explain that sign’s meaning to their kids. Maybe families should not be staying at cheap hotels that close to Patpong.

Usually on my first night in town I hit about a half dozen gay bars just to check things out, see what, if anything, has changed and check out the bars’ stables for potential offs for the rest of my trip. I almost always stop in at Tawan on that first night. Usually it is my last club of the night and I time my arrival for their last show. I try not to get to Tawan until the first few acts are over so as to avoid the ladyboys. I get the whole ladyboy/Thailand thing and it’s cool. But they are the last thing I want to see at a club I go to for macho studs.

This visit was a renovation or two ago. The Tawan Club’s layout has changed a bit over the years. Not a lot, but enough to keep it interesting. Back then it was mostly a stage with table seating and couches along the wall. I think it is all the bodybuilders, or maybe just the high level of testosterone, but when you walk into the Tawan it smells a lot like a locker room. And that’s a good thing when you are out on the prowl for muscle. It adds to the ambiance.

I timed my arrival right that night. The bar was busy but not packed. The show had begun, the guys on stage were still in their shorts, but it was obvious the ladyboy number was over. I got a friendly greeting from the waiter who has been there for years. Don’t know his name. He’s of medium build, a bit pudgy, and has a small, thin mustache, unusual for a Thai. He led me over to the couch area and I grabbed a seat along the wall centered with the stage. Ordered a Singha, and sat back to check out the studs.

There were about 30 guys working the club that night. Midweek, so it wasn’t too busy and even some of the stars were still around having not yet landed a customer for the night. I love watching the stars at Tawan perform. Their rippling bodies are a joy to see. I like their macho swagger and those flashing white smiles they throw at you, hoping to entice you to invite them over. Not that there is a need for an invitation. Tawan is one of those clubs where the guys roam freely and have no problem in introducing themselves to you.

At most of the gay clubs in Bangkok, I don’t like the bar boys to approach me. ‘Cuz it almost always is some twinky fem with a screeching voice. I’ve learned you can not be polite in those cases. You need to be direct about your lack of interest or they’ll leech on to you. But at Tawan, any one of the guys is going to be a masculine stud and even if I am not interested in him, spending a few minutes chatting while they massage your shoulders is good fun. If I allow them to hang around for more than five minutes, I always give them a tip. It’s the polite thing to do. And I visit Tawan often enough I don’t need to ruin my rep.

Business was slow enough on this night that I soon had three guys sitting with me. The bar boys can tell which visitors are there to look and which are potential customers. Must be the look in your eyes. I wasn’t really looking to off a guy that night, but I’m always open to the possibility when I drop in at Tawan. I was in one of my ‘throw some cash around’ moods and had bought drinks for all three of the guys. That’s a guarantee to keep them around for a while, even if you aren’t going to off any of them. One guy was doing the shoulder massage thing. Another, going for the quick sale, had groped me and then thrust my hand down his shorts so I could get an up close experience with his hard cock. The third has his nose planted by my ear making little sniffing noises. A Thai kiss. Sweet. I love Thailand.

Like most gay bars in Bangkok, the show progressed from the slightly naughty to the down right explicit. Tawan’s late show usually finishes off with a masturbation contest (uh, the boys, not the customers). But it had not hit that point yet. A group had just finished trading blow jobs when one of their muscle acts started up. Six guys, all erect and barely covered, holding a pose down. One of the guys I hadn’t seen before. He probably was the least built out of the group on stage. More of a developed swimmers build than muscle bound. Short. Cute. The mirror at the back of the stage showed he had a great ass on him. And the bulge hidden by a flimsy piece of cloth showed he had no problem getting hard. He had a Chinese look about him though his skin was that dusky color I like in Thai guys. And incredibly large, beautiful eyes. I caught his eye and gave him a big smile.

Having three studs already attending to you can work to your disadvantage when you spot a guy you really are interested in. Then again, if you are spending freely enough to be taking up three of the bar boys’ time, the guy may decide you’re worth checking out. Jai dee translated means the dude’s got money and is willing to spend it. After the act was over, the hot guy came off stage and made his way over to where I sat, hanging back a bit. Shy? Or just waiting for room? I scooted over clearing a space next to me. He smiled and sat down.

Shaking hands is not a typical Thai greeting. But the guys at Tawan all seem to introduce themselves with a hand shake. This guy had a nice firm grip and I could tell from the feel of his hand he spent some quality time lifting. He didn’t waste time with the usual bar boy pat questions. He just leaned in to me and said, “My name Chai.”

Chai had been working at Tawan for about three months. He’d heard about the club from other guys lifting at Lumpini Park. His English was decent. He started massaging my upper thighs commenting on their being ‘strong’. I told him I thought he was handsome. Thai guys like compliments. Actually I thought he was beautiful, but knew ‘handsome’ was a better comment. He shook his head no, running his hand over a small run of pock marks on his cheeks. I complemented his chest instead. That one got a smile. It didn’t take long for the other guys to figure out where my interest lay and they drifted off to the next potential customer leaving Chai and me alone.

I bought him a drink. We chatted a bit. I ran my hand over his bare leg enjoying the feel of the muscles underneath. He flexed his legs and giggled. And moved my hand up to his crotch. Looking at me with those beautiful limpid eyes he asked, “I go with you?”

Chai was hot. And just the kind of guy I like. But I still hadn’t decided to off a boy that night. And the show was still on. “Maybe,” I replied. “We watch the show.”

That was an honest reaction from me that night. But. You are in Thailand. It always pays to barter. Sometimes that bartering isn’t about the price, but rather the sale. And Chai decided we were in negotiations and that he needed to close the deal. He scooted closer. “I lie you,” Chai said. “I do everything.”

I love the Thai accent that turns ‘like’ into ‘lie’ as it is closer to the truth. And in any case, I knew he didn’t and wouldn’t . . . ‘I do everything’ doesn’t mean everything, but more like ‘everything I’m willing to do.’ But he was being very affectionate, and really had a hot body. So, maybe. “You kiss?” I asked him.

He leaned in and buried his tongue in my mouth as an answer. The boy could kiss. Sold! When we came up for breath I let him know I’d off him and he went to get changed. The hotel was within walking distance, but knowing Thai bar boys don’t like to walk, after getting him a quick bite to eat, I grabbed a tuk tuk for the short ride to the Plaza. He knew the hotel, and knew of their joiner fee. When we got there he pushed me in front of him and then hung back until I got to the reception desk to get the room key. No guest, no joiner fee. He rushed in to join me in the elevator. I liked his thinking!

Once in the room, Chai stripped down to his shorts. Nice. Every guy is different. Some like to sit around and watch TV for a bit. Get comfortable first. Others, it’s immediately down to business. I always let the boi take the lead. Chai was wearing a pair of black briefs. They accented his dusky skin tone and clung to the curves of his bubble butt. He looked good. And knew it. He walked over to me, kissed me again. A promise of things to come. “I shower,” Chai said, slipping his shorts down, his back turned to me showing off his incredible ass as he made his way into the bathroom.

When he finished showering he came out naked, toweling off his hair. None of that Thai body shyness with this guy. And his body was perfect. A nice toned V shape. His cock was a bit smaller than average, but it fit him. And was slightly aroused. As was I. I quickly jumped into the shower and found him already in bed when I was through. He’d turned all but one of the lights off in the room. An intimate setting with just enough light my eyes could still feast on his gorgeous body. When I came to the bed, he pulled back the covers exposing himself again.

Gay, horny, or just a professional? Dunno. But the boy was already up for it. And it was beautiful. Erect, his cocked moved up a few spots on the size scale. Uncut, but the head cleared the foreskin. I laughed and told him he was beautiful. “Customer always say too small,” he told me. “I tell them it get big, they don’t believe.”

Yup, his was a grower. And it had bloomed beautifully. Fully erect. Throbbing. I’ve never understood the appeal of muscle worship. Where you just look. Just stare. But would have been happy to do so with Chai. He wasn’t content with being looked at. He rose up on his knees and embraced me, once again kissing me deeply.

We played around for a while. He used his hands. He used his mouth. He had no problem with anything I did with him or to him. Until I rolled him over onto his stomach. Then his body tensed up, the taut muscles running across his back and legs highlighting his incredible ass. I love muscle guys with those buff thighs that when pressed together form that little hollow at the crook of their ass like a gap toothed smile grinning a warm welcome. He looked at me, debating, then finally saying, “I get 3,000.”

I speak more Thai than I let on. This was a perfect time for me to use it. I massaged his shoulders as I spoke quietly to him. What I said wasn’t important. I never mentioned the price, or the act. With Thais, what you don’t say is often more important than what you do say. The dynamic changed.

I never discuss price with a guy before offing him. And this was the first time any guy had ever quoted me a figure. I didn’t barter. I ignored it. ‘Up to you’ is part of the Thai culture. Naming a price is not. There is a reason it is called a tip. And he knew I knew that. We chatted a bit. Changed positions. I told him the only joke I know in Thai. We went back to playing around for awhile. The next time I rolled him over, he just tucked his legs up a bit, presenting himself to me. He could have said no. But he was offering what he knew I wanted, and hoped that I would reply in kind.

When we had both finished, he snuggled close to me for a while instead of immediately hopping out of bed for a shower like most Thai guys do. It was a nice finish to the night. I’d have enjoyed him spending the night, with him curled up next to me in bed, but had already told him earlier in the evening it would be for ‘short-time’ only.

While he cleaned up in the shower I laid in bed mulling over the possible answers to the dilemma I faced. I usually tip 2,000 baht regardless of time, acts, whatevers. The extra 1,000 he’d asked for is not much in real money. But I didn’t want to reward him for quoting a price. On the other hand, there was some obligation on my part since he had. And damn he’d been good! Finally I came up with a suitable response. I got up and slipped a 1,000 baht note in the front pocket of his jeans. When he’d dressed and was ready to leave, after a final kiss, I tipped him 2,000 baht. He accepted that amount graciously and asked if I would come see him at the bar again the next night. His lack of a negative reaction to the lower amount made me feel better about the extra I’d hidden in his jeans.

Butterflies are free. As great as Chai had been, I moved on to other guys that trip. I looked for him the next time I visited Tawan, but he no longer worked there. A great night, a pleasant memory, and the first (and last) time a bar boi has ever quoted a price to me in Thailand.

I know a lot of guys complain about the boys at Tawan; too expensive, and usually a dud. That has never been my experience. I always make sure I discuss anything I have my heart set on with the guy before agreeing to off him. And I never ask ‘how much’. Regardless of the bar, treating the guy with a bit of respect goes a long way. Give him a reason to want to make you happy, and nine times out of ten, he will do so.