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Monthly Archives: February 2013

Bangkok Gay Gogo Bar First Timers’ Guide Part X

28 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide

≈ 22 Comments

Tags

Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

The savvy sex touri knows how to squeeze the last drop out of his time with a bar boy. Or as they like to think of it: getting full value out of money spent.

The savvy sex touri knows how to squeeze the last drop out of his time with a bar boy. Or as they like to think of it: getting full value out of money spent.

If you’ve been following this First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars series of posts, then by now you’re probably not really a newbie to the world of Bangkok’s gay gogo bars any longer. You’ve already popped your gogo bar cherry and know how to enjoy yourself at a bar without making an ass out of yourself, know what to expect when you get a bar boy back to your room – and how not to be disappointed when you don’t get what you expected – and have learned the low-maintenance life-style of being a butterfly. Hopefully, you’ve also learned how to not be a cheap ass. But learning and putting that knowledge into practice are two entirely different things. When your soul and your wallet are interconnected, not coming across as kee ngok just ain’t gonna happen. But then there are worse things in life. You could instead be considered by the boys to have a big heart.

As often as I have railed against the cheap asses of the bar world, mine is a voice lost in the wilderness. Read the gay Thailand message boards and you’ll quickly realize mine is the dissenting opinion. Sure that’s more about Pattaya where pinching a penny is considered an obligatory touri activity, but nonetheless the fact remains there is a large majority of punters out there whose ideal orgasm greatly depends on how cheaply they can score. Value is based on how much you can get for how little it can cost you. To them it’s not about the bar boys, their lives, goals, and desires. It’s about their wallets and being serviced. And I get that. I’m a big fan of the It’s All About Me generation too.

I’ve ignored punters’ complaints about the dire straits of their home country’s currency and economy, the rising costs of international travel, and the plight of sexpats who retired to Pattaya on an income that leaves them living below the poverty line as a whining of a bunch of losers for whom life is all about complaining. I should have realized that having chosen Thailand as the only place on earth where they could afford to pay for the sex that would otherwise elude them, costs play an important role. And it’s not just about how cheaply they can get an orgasm (LMTU would gladly blow them for free with the expense being nothing more than a visit to the nearest public loo). It’s about getting value for the small handful of baht they fork over to their boy du jour. I know, being known as the considerate, loving, kindhearted person that I am, you wouldn’t expect me to so brazenly ignore the plight of Thailand’s cheap bastards. So I’ll rectify that matter with these tips on how to squeeze the last satang of value out of a bar boy:

Milk is good for everybody, so milking your bar boy dry has gotta be good for him too.

Milk is good for everybody, so milking your bar boy dry has gotta be good for him too.

1. What Goes Up.
Value isn’t about cost as much as it is about how much you receive for the money you spend. Or how often you receive it. Planned correctly your time with a bar boy does not have to follow that old adage of what goes up must come down. He may base his off on a per-orgasm basis but that doesn’t mean you have to too. If one go-round costs you 600 baht, squeezing in three orgasms during your time together means it’s only costing you 200 baht per spurt.

That’s not as selfish and one-sided ass it sounds. Your boy too can benefit. He spent some of his hard earned baht on a little blue pill so that he could look like he was enjoying your ugly ass. Forcing multiple orgasms out of him means he gets more value out the cost of that pill too, even if it is about keeping him hard and useful for your benefit. Mother Teresa should have been as thoughtful.

2. There’s Value In His Other Head Too.
As tired as you may be from squeezing three orgasms out of a cheap, short-time off, just sending your boy off into the night afterward is like leaving money on the table. There’s still gold in them there hills and to get full value from that generous 600 baht tip you paid him, you’d better be ready to mine for it. Your bar boy is sitting on a wealth of information. It’s time to drain him dry. He can tell you which of his bar mates hasn’t been offed in weeks and will be willing to do you for 300 baht. He knows which of the boys in the bar also solicit customers on Gay Romeo, which means you can get the boy cheaper and avoid an off fee too. He also knows which boys won’t do everything, or anything for that matter, and can save you from spending your money on a dud in the future. Feel free to grill him on his fellow bar boys. If it means he won’t have to deal with you as a customer ever again, he’ll probably be willing to share that knowledge with you.

3. Milking Him For All He’s Worth.
Cheap bastards hate paying for a long-time off; after all, you can get a bottle of gin for what those extra hours with a boy will cost you. Sexpats don’t want to give up the time they’d otherwise spend bitching about bar boys on the gay Thailand message boards either. But visitors can benefit greatly from a long-time off. For just a few hundred baht more you get lots of sex and tons of hidden values too.

Your bar boy’s English may suck, even if he refuses to. But then your command of the Thai language is even worse. Using your boy du jour as a translator can make your time in Thailand much easier. You won’t even have to learn those few simple Thai phrases touri who mistakenly think they need to be polite rely on. Whether it’s ordering a meal or arguing with the hotel staff over being charged a joiner fee, using your bar boy as a translator can pay great dividends. Used wisely as such you can easily recoup the paltry sum you paid to him as a tip.

As the paying customer there’s no good reason to not make your bar boy bend over backwards to please you.

As the paying customer there’s no good reason to not make your bar boy bend over backwards to please you.

Even the most hardened sex tourist tends to spend a bit of time seeing the sights when visiting the Kingdom. Your boy du jour can make an excellent tour guide too. Not that he will know of or be interested in the places you want to visit, but he will be able to communicate your desires to your taxi driver. And if you really want to save some baht he’ll know which bus is the cheapest one to take too. If you’re sly about it, you can have your boy purchase admission tickets for both of you too, getting your entrance fee at the lower price offered to Thais.

Tell your boy du jour you need to go shopping and he’ll get hard quicker than that little blue pill ever managed to make him. After you reap that benefit, you can actually hit a mall or market. When shopping, Thais always get better prices than rich farang do. You can use your boy to barter for a discount. Just keep him thinking that the money he saves you will be spent on a new iPhone for him and you’ll be amazed at how quickly those savings add up. Hell, with the money he saves you through haggling you can even afford to pick up an additional boy. And everybody loves a twofer.

There’s also money to be saved by expense avoidance. Bar boys love to go to the airport to see their Farangs off. Most assume the pockets full of baht you haven’t spent will be worthless to you and you’ll hand it over to them instead of it going to waste. That just proves that bar boys are as naive as first time visiting farang. You can use that to your benefit. You won’t have to tip the bell hop at the hotel by using your boy as a porter instead. He’s young and running up and down four flights of stairs to bring all of the suitcases you thought you needed to travel with is good exercise for him. Don’t be afraid to make him carry you down to the lobby either – it’s all part of the service and bar boys love nothing more than the opportunity of taking care of you. And while it won’t result in a direct monetary savings, once at the airport there’s no reason for you to stand in long lines when you can use your boy to save your place in line for you. That’ll give you the opportunity to find something to buy with the remaining baht your bar boy thought would soon be his.

Don’t worry if seeing to your every need causes your bar boy a bit of anguish. That’s how you build character. He’ll thank you for it one day.

Don’t worry if seeing to your every need causes your bar boy a bit of anguish. That’s how you build character. He’ll thank you for it one day.

4. You Can’t Squeeze Blood Out Of A Turnip, But . . .
That doesn’t man you shouldn’t drain your bar boy dry. As needy as they are it’s easy to make promises that will keep them attached to you for as long as you want to string them along. And that doesn’t have to end just because your holiday in Thailand did. Holding out the promise of a future together will guarantee an endless supply of email and text messages filled with expressions of the boy’s love for you. It doesn’t take much effort to ensure those messages come with lots of photos of your favorite part of your boy either. You can get years of pleasure out of a single extended off without it ever costing you another dime. Add those self-inflicted times of joy to your total and it can easily mean paying less than 80 baht per orgasm. Now we’re talking!

If you do decide to make further cash deposits between trips, consider that it’s not only the joy of cheap sex that can be yours. You can also finally have an official boyfriend. And you can satisfy other emotional needs too. Sure, some fools get the stroking their egos need by sponsoring a hungry child in Africa for just five cents a day. But for that same outlay of coin you can do better with what is now your boyfriend. You can not only demand that he remain chaste and true to you between your twice a year trips to Thailand, but you can cause him great emotional pain when you bust him by calling at odd hours to check up on where he is and what he’s doing. Your sexpat friends stuck in Pattaya only get that kind of fun by making fun of their fellow destitute retirees. And they’ll all be jealous of you when you parade your boy special around Sunee Plaza, or have him sit quietly while you and your cronies spend countless hours together nursing a beer during your night out on the town together. Best yet, the cost of your boy is but a fraction of what Paris Hilton had to pay for the scrawny mut she adopted as a BFF. And she didn’t get the bonus of sex out of it. I think.

The fact is if you send your boy a small monthly stipend – about what you would otherwise spend to have your car washed monthly – that’s big money in Thailand. And you now own him. Slavery may be dead, but sex slavery is alive and well. And surprisingly affordable too. Remember that ownership has benefits above renting. Just think of the fun you can have next time you’re in Pattaya and can force your boy special to undergo humiliating drug and STD tests (not that you’d waste money on tests done by medical professionals – there are cheap home-tests you can buy. Ask any of your sexpat friends, they know where you can purchase those at the best price).

It’s surprisingly how little it costs to bind your boy to you. Even if BD isn’t your thing, there’s value in owning another human being.

It’s surprisingly how little it costs to bind your boy to you. Even if BD isn’t your thing, there’s value in owning another human being.

Not that it’s all about you. You are in a relationship now after all. You can see to your boy’s needs by helping him improve himself too. For example, while you are back in your home country you can force him to take English classes so that he’ll be better able to understand you during your future trips to Thailand. Which will increase his value to you as a companion, translator, tour guide, and negotiator. Win-win. That’s what life is all about.

And finally, if you are savvy, all of that money you spent on your boy will not go to waste when you find a new boy younger and more desperate to take advantage of in his place. Like others before you, once the romance is over there’s still value in your relationship. You can use those naughty pictures you’ve demanded he pose for over the years to pimp him out on-line to unsuspecting first-time visitors to Pattaya too. A paid-for relationship with a Thai bar boy is truly a gift that keeps giving. As long as you are willing to take what is rightfully yours.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

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First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars

Bangkok Gay Gogo Bar First Timers' Guide Part  VII

Bangkok Gay Gogo Bar First Timers’ Guide Part VII

Bangkok Gay Gogo Bar Dos And Don'ts For The Newbie

Bangkok Gay Gogo Bar Dos And Don’ts For The Newbie

Absolutely Thursday #61

28 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Absolutely Thursdays, It's A Gay World

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Nude Dudes

Nude asian abs

Now those are abs worth fighting for.

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I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: That Crazy Little Thing

27 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

L1

Surprisingly, I get a lot of comments posted to this blog that include a note asking that the comment not be published. That wouldn’t be so if I published an email addy to use, but the result would be the same: lots of private communication, questions and comments readers for one reason or another don’t want made public. That’s cool. I’m just amazed that anyone who has read this blog for any amount of time would actually trust me to keep their private comments private. I don’t exactly have a stellar track record for being discreet.

Not surprisingly, most of those comments are about Noom – my bar boy friend and current love of my life – and our relationship. Many are from readers who are or who have been in similar relationships with Thai guys. They tend to explain their relationship and comment on how familiar my tales are to them. Even when they don’t name names, I understand why they do not want their comments made public. Not everyone wants their private life published for the world to see. Even when it is done anonymously. Still, it’s a shame those stories never see the light of day; there are a lot more positive and successful Farang/Thai relationships out there than you’d expect considering how you only here about the doomed ones elsewhere.

The second most popular theme in the private comments I get are well-intended messages questioning my sanity. I appreciate that those reader want to keep their comments private too. While they are usually polite and come from a good place, the you-should-never-trust-a-bar-boy train of thought gets plenty of airing elsewhere. As for me wearing rose colored glasses, I think if you read through the bulk of my I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy posts you’d see that isn’t a valid concern. I probably question Noom’s motives more than what should be healthy for our relationship. But then so does he.

L2

Even those comments that question our relationship and the wisdom of becoming involved with a Thai bar boy almost always include and exemption for Noom. Part of that, I have to assume, is that people are generally polite and don’t want to unnecessarily dump on someone’s relationship. Not that that makes a lot of sense. There is little logic in saying, “Beware of bar boys,” coupled with, “You really need to be careful,” followed by, “Well, except for Noom.” Huh. That message is a bit muddled. Which is why I personally try to avoid being polite as much as possible. Regardless, I appreciate the attempt and concern. And appreciate even more that in telling these tales I must have managed to portray Noom as the wonderfully exceptional man that he is. Readers tend to want to idolize him even though he is a money-grubbing not to be trusted bar boy. And so do I.

I also get a lot of private comments either from those currently trying to find their way through a similar relationship, and/or those who are open to becoming involved in a similar relationship who have a million questions about the necessary balance between caution and going for it with all your heart and soul. Those are the more difficult comments to answer. I can speak from my experiences with Noom. But that doesn’t mean the guy someone else is involved with will react the same or that he has the same motives. Whether it is Thai bar boys – or any other group of people – making generalized statements that supposedly cover the entire group never works. There are always exceptions to the rule; you are dealing with an individual, not a group.

There are cultural issues that (almost) all Thais share, many of which I’ve attempted to highlight in these tales. And while you should be aware of them – or more precisely aware of the differences between your culture and Thai culture – above all the best generalized advice I can give about being in a relationship with a bar boy is to remember he is an individual first. Focus on what it is/was that attracted you to him in the first place (besides the sex), not on all the stuff you’ve heard about bar boys. ‘Cuz you’ll be surprised how little of that crap ever surfaces.

L3

Most of the comments I get on these tales – both positive and unintentionally negative – dwell far too much on the issue of love. But that’s human nature. Pop music wouldn’t be the billion dollar industry it is if people were not so wrapped up in the L word. You’d think with all the people either pursuing love as a goal, busily trying to hold on to the love they found, or trying their damnedest to get over the love they lost that it wouldn’t be such an abstract emotion. But then if love was that cut and dried Adele would just be another fat, white chick from England instead of the popular chantreuse she is. It’s kinda sad Babs stole her thunder at the Academy Awards, but then ugly female singers have always held a monopoly on love songs. It’s interesting that while so many people want to be in love, or at least to be loved, the closest love song any one has come up with that best reflects reality is one of R.E.M.’s most popular tunes.

But then a love song belted out by either Noom or I would put a quick end to that genre. It’s not that some things are best left unsaid, but rather best left unsung by some. What that song would be would be the major question in any case. Love, as popular as it is, is difficult to define. Even when it isn’t expressed in song. For being such an important aspect in everyone’s life, the word itself just doesn’t measure up. It isn’t specific enough for its purpose, it’s too generalized and covers too many different emotions and too many different things. I love my dog, but not in the way opponents to legalizing same-sex marriage would have you believe. I love my mom, but that whole Oedipus Rex thing just never made sense to me. I love apple pie, but . . . okay maybe that’s not a good example.

The point is it’s too easy to read your idea of love into my love for and with Noom. That’s my fault. The title of this series of posts itself rubs some the wrong way while painting an untrue picture for those who focus on the positive attributes of Cupid (forgetting that that little fat bastard is armed and dangerous). And it doesn’t help that I introduce Noom into each of these tales as ‘my bar boy friend and current love of my life.’ Each of these stories is intended to stand alone. I thought that phrase summed up who and what Noom is, quickly, so anyone reading one of these posts would instantly understand the dynamic of our relationship. Silly me. That’s what I get for being facetious. I shoulda know better than to use the L word in such a frivolous manner.

L4

So a lot of the private comments I get center on love; the curious question the future of our relationship, those trying to make sense of that relationship wonder about its details, those attempting to define what it is that we share question if it is love, lust, or simple infatuation. Not that I haven’t wondered about all those things myself. There is no question that I love Noom. Nor is there any question that he is a bright, shining point of goodness in my life. I am happy when I’m with him. And when I’m not, thinking about him makes me happy too. He is not, however, The Great Love of my life. At least not yet. Who knows what the future may bring. Ours is not an all-encompassing love; Romeo and Juliet can rest easy. Which is probably a good thing ‘cuz that tale set in Thailand would end with one of the two leaping from a balcony.

While I shudder at the thought of placing myself in the role of the fish, Juliet found a much better use for her balcony than the flying farang of Thailand have in questioning, “What’s Montague?” Her observation that a rose is a rose by any other name can be applied to Noom too; that he is a bar boy should be of no more importance than Romeo being a Montague. That seems to be a major issue for some in coming to terms with our love affair. I often get comments worried that I may be losing sight of that little fact. “He’s a bar boy!” (which is a nicer way of saying, “Yo dude! He makes his living having sex with any guy willing to slip him a few thousand baht!”) is a common warning. Yeah, I know. But he’s also Noom.

Maybe it would be less of an issue if I only identified Noom in these tales as ‘my bar boy friend’ (ignoring for the moment how often y’all couple boy and friend and ignore that all important space between the two words). Following its popularity thanks to Facebook, it might be better if I titled these posts instead as ‘I Fell In Like With A Bar Boy’. Either or both would remove the L word from the equation and would help avoid readers from assigning their own definition of love to what Noom and I share. But I don’t think ‘like’ – while less confrontational – cuts it either. Instead I’ll keep using the L word and let you define it as you see fit. Just stay away from Chris Brown and Rihanna’s version, okay?

L5

I can’t define what love is and what it isn’t any better than you, even when it comes to what Noom and I share. It’s a crazy little thing that works, regardless of how it’s defined. So don’t get too caught up in applying the L word to what we have. I still like, prefer, and will continue to label these posts with I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy. But the most important word in my phrase ‘my bar boy friend and current love of my life’ is the one infrequently honed in on: friend. Love may be grand, but it is our friendship that means the most to me; I love that we are first and foremost friends. The rest is just a happy bonus.

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Wednesday Wetness #61

27 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in It's A Gay World, Wednesday Wetness

≈ 5 Comments

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Nude Dudes

nude asian shower

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Eye Candy: Wrong Head, Wrong Hat

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil, Eye Candy

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Nude Dudes, That's Gay

ht 1

Not being a fashionista I haven’t a clue as to what this type of head covering is called but do know it is the least flattering and most nerdy thing a guy can slip onto his head. But that just goes to show you that a hot guy can get away with wearing just about anything and still look hot.

ht 2

ht 3

ht 4

ht 5

ht 6

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Tighty Whitey Tuesday #61

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in It's A Gay World, Tighty Whitey Tuesday

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nude asian man in underwear

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But Wait, There’s More!

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in It's A Gay World

≈ Comments Off on But Wait, There’s More!

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That's Gay

Now that mystery meat won’t be a mystery any longer.

Now that mystery meat won’t be a mystery any longer.

The latest wonder kitchen gadget from your favorite seen on TV commercial may chop, slice, dice and shred, but can it satisfy you too? Cargo Collective has the perfect gift for the chef in your life, or any other insatiable bottom come to think about it. Designed by Francesco Morackini, this art-deco inspired apparatus that looks like a big pencil sharpener is the perfect addition to your kitchen. Or bedroom.

dildo maker 2

Believing that a good product is not only efficient, built with quality, beautiful looking, and offered at a good price, but that it must create emotions too Morackini played with the 1930s pencil sharpener design – an icon of the stream line movement that introduced sensual lines in everyday products – to craft his revolutionary Dildomaker. Playing around with the marketing cliche: sex sells, the Dildomaker’s purpose is to provide users what they really want: pleasure. And moreover, sexual pleasure.

Fetch? Hell no. Now it’s all about Sit!

Fetch? Hell no. Now it’s all about Sit!

Morackini notes his Dildomaker is just a tool; it doesn’t give pleasure directly. He says he created that distance here on purpose to raise the questions of our relationship between us and manufactured products. Or maybe that’s the relationship between us and our sex toys. The Dildomaker doesn’t slice, dice, or chop, but it can sharpen the end of any organic item (such as a carrot, tree branch, candle, or hot dog) into a penis that will please even the fussiest of size queens. No more boring, lonely nights alone in bed for you! Now you too can enjoy the benefits of a new friend thanks to just about anything laying around in your refrigerator or yard!

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Monday Muscle #61

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in It's A Gay World, Monday Muscle

≈ 4 Comments

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Nude Dudes

nude asian muscle

But I’m sure he’s a grower too.

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Gay Of The Week: Two Samoan Men And A Penis

First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars

First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok: Part II - Pratunam Market

Sex In The Locker Room: A Not So Straight Man’s Fanttasy

Bangkok’s Tawan Bar: Muscle Men Central

Gay Of The Week: Dakota Cochrane (And The UFC)

THE XXX GAMES:

PICTORIAL INDEX TO BANGKOK GAY GOGO BAR FIRST TIMERS GUIDES

PICTORIAL INDEX TO BUDDHISM 101 ARTICLES:

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Buddhism

PICTORIAL INDEX TO I FELL IN LOVE WITH A BAR BOY POSTS

The XXII Gays of The Winter Olympics

PICTORIAL INDEX TO THE BOYS IN THE BAR TALES

The 17th Asian Games of the Asiad

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Sawatdee and welcome to the new and improved Bangkokbois Gay Thailand Blog! Okay, so it’s not necessarily improved, just hosted on a new site. And it’s not just about Thailand, though that still is the main focus. And it’s not all gay either, unless you’re not and then you’ll think it’s pretty damn gay I’m sure. All of the penis might tip you off. Which means if you are not of the required legal age to be looking at penis other than your own, you should leave. And go tell your parental units they suck at their job.

But it is a blog and one out of three ain’t bad. Besides, Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand Blog For People Of Legal Age is just too wordy. But so is Dancing With The Devil In The City Of Angels, which is really the title of this blog.

As cool of a title as that is, Google just ain’t sharp enough to figure out that means this blog is mostly about Thailand. And pretty damn gay to boot. The penis part even Google figured out. Which is a good thing. ‘Cuz Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand With Lots Of Penis Blog For People Of Legal Age, I think, was taken by someone else.

Move along, there’s nothing to see here folks; pay no attention to that man behind the curtain:

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