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Tag Archives: Gay GoGo Bars

10 Guaranteed Ways To Fail At Picking Up Someone Up At A Bangkok Gay Go Go Bar

10 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

Mastering your skills at picking up a bar boy in Thailand is what it takes. Although a MasterCard with a high credit limit works just as well.

Mastering your skills at picking up a bar boy in Thailand is what it takes. Although a MasterCard with a high credit limit works just as well.

The gay kinda news website Queerty recently ran an article titled 13 Guaranteed Ways To Fail At Picking Up Someone Up At A Bar From A Castro Bartender. I almost skipped reading it because picking up someone in the Castro really doesn’t require stepping into a bar. When the street is full of gay guys on the prowl, you get hit on even while trying to scrape off the dog shit you just stepped in from your shoe. And when the odor of Eau De Fido isn’t enough to not get you laid, whatever fails some pretentious bar back wants to warn you about really don’t matter. On the other hand, not having to come up with original content is always a plus in my book, so I thought I’d re-purpose those tips with an eye towards modifying them for use in picking up a bar boy in Thailand. Or offing one as some jaded souls call it.

I thought that task may take some heavy editing. Surprisingly it did not. The world is a small place. And the line between getting laid for free and paying for it is a thin one. When it’s your orgasm at stake, convincing some hottie that your bed is the perfect place for him to throw his heels in the air takes about the same amount of effort regardless if he’ll be earning some taxi money or not. And thankfully, guys being guys, it seldom takes much effort in either case.

Nonetheless, many poor souls in the Castro return to an empty bed nightly, and many punters in Bangkok return to their bed with a bar boy they’d rather they hadn’t. Which guy you off is up to you, but having it be the one you really wanted is up to your skills at landing the perfect bar boy. So here are a few tips:

Ignore his deer caught in the headlights look, you'll know when a bar boy is the perfect one for you.

Ignore his deer caught in the headlights look, you’ll know when a bar boy is the perfect one for you.

1. The Meat and Greet.
Queerty’s bartender’s first bit of sage advice was to stop using your trusty pickup lines, noting that most fail as conversation starters and instead linger like bad gas. No problemo in picking up a bar boy ‘cuz he probably already thinks you smell a bit off. Pick-up lines, as such, are not necessary in landing the perfect bar boy. Slapping down your wallet bulging with cash on the table top, however, works wonders.

The boys have a traditional pick-up line of their own, however. Their what your name where you stay how long you stay Bangkok greeting gets the job done every time. Using it before they do, if you really feel the need to use a pick-up line, is a great ploy. Those who speak some English will laugh. Those who merely learned that phrase and really have no idea what it means will get a look of pure panic in their eyes. And there’s a good chance which ever of the two responses your potential off displays, it’ll be the same when he accompanies you to your hotel room and you drop your pants.

2. Let Your Demons Rest.
The second bit of advice from Queerty’s bartender is a warning against a liquid diet. By the time you drink enough to get up the nerve to hit on some hottie, you’ll be too drunk to be a success. ‘Cuz no one like a man who looks like he’s ready to hurl in the gutter. As well intended as that advice is, I think he got it wrong. If you are a 10, no matter how drunk you are there are still plenty of guys who will be willing to take you home with them. The warning should be that when you wake up in their bed the next morning you’ll have one mother of a hangover. And you’ll discover you just slept with a 3.

Ditto for the bar boy you pick up when you are too inebriated to remember you hate effeminate twinks. ‘Cuz that’s who you’ll wake up next to the next morning. And it’ll be the one who spent his evening earning tips from being plowed on customers’ laps. Plus, when you go to tip him so he’ll leave you’ll discover your wallet is almost empty ‘cuz you ended up buying the bar’s mamasan a bottle. And a new cell phone.

Stay sober while shopping for a bar boy. That way you can get him drunk enough to agree to go with you.

Stay sober while shopping for a bar boy. That way you can get him drunk enough to agree to go with you.

3. Sex By Proxy Is Never Enjoyable.
Queerty’s bartender says that if you want to hit on a guy, don’t send one of your buddies over to break the ice first. What he doesn’t say is what we all know: that bitch will end up taking your intended conquest home with himself if you do. ‘Cuz a gay wingman is always gonna pretend your plane already got shot out of the air if the guy is hot enough.

Playing Go Ask Him If He Likes Me is an even bigger mistake in a Bangkok gogo bar. First, because if he is hot enough just like in a Castro bar your wingman will off the boy first. Second, if he doesn’t the boy will assume he’s gonna be expected to do you both. And third, since most punters fly solo at gogo bars, your wingman for the night will be the bar’s mamasan and the only available boy will be the one who shares his tips with her. Which will be the twink who spent his evening earning tips from being plowed on customers’ laps.

4. Reach Out And Touch Someone.
Our bartender in the know says one of the deadly sins in trying to pick up a trick in a gay bar is to have your eyes glued to your cell phone. Which just shows you how out of touch the dude is. ‘Cuz any gay guy worth is salt has his eyes permanently glued to his cell phone these days ‘cuz otherwise he might miss that hottie Grindr says is just down the block.

Bangkok’s bar boys are addicted to their phones these days too. Even if in their case it’s more about watching straight porn so they can get up for their job’s demands. And they won’t be the least bit put-off if you’re paying attention to your phone rather than to them. In fact, they prefer it. The danger here is not that you’ll fail to connect, but that every boy you show the least bit of interest in will immediately ask for your phone number. Then, whenever they need a few extra hundred baht, they’ll call you to remind you how much they love you.

Give a bar boy a cell phone and he'll lose it in a day, teach a bar boy your phone number and he'll use it for a lifetime.

Give a bar boy a cell phone and he’ll lose it in a day, teach a bar boy your phone number and he’ll use it for a lifetime.

5. Leave Your Baggage On The Plane.
No one in a bar in the Castro wants to hear about your problems, your failures, your worries, or your entire failed dating history. And bringing up your ex just means the guy you are trying to hit on will never become one. Bar boys don’t want to hear that shit either. No one does. Not even your mother. And the bar boy you want to off certainly doesn’t want to hear about the disastrous off you paid for the night before. Not because that’s gossip. Bar boys love gossip. He doesn’t want to hear your tale of woe ‘cuz he – and every other bar boy on the soi – already heard about it. And you don’t want to remind him of why your performance was so memorable.

6. Love Means Never Having To Say You’re A Cheapskate.
Obviously, our Castro bartended has never been to Pattaya. ‘Cuz his #6 tip is about how hot tipping is. Specifically: “People that visibly tip get more play. It shows they are generous and care enough to pay for service.” Word. You probably think a night with a bar boy is all about sex. To him it’s all about money. So tip generously and tip often. That shows you’re jai dee. And bar boys love customers who have a big heart. ‘Cuz they are the ones good for a few thousand baht later when emailed with the tragic news of the boy’s water buffalo having just died.

7. Gay For Pay Is An Honored Profession In Thailand.
The #7 bartender’s tip is to not ask potential tricks if he is single, and why. Ditto with bar boys in Bangkok. ‘Cuz most have a wife as well as several kids back home. And that’s TMI when your fantasy is about him falling madly in love with you. A similar mistake is asking him if he is gay. He is probably not. But will tell you he is ‘cuz he knows that’s what you want to hear. The problem is that bar boys tend to think gay means bottom. And when your dream was to be ridden hard and put away wet, finding out later you just offed the biggest bottom in Bangkok is never a happy ending.

Bar boys love nothing more than the cherished memories they receive from customers.

Bar boys love nothing more than the cherished memories they receive from customers.

8. Love The One You’re With.
Queerty’s bartender thinks you should pay attention to the guy you are trying to take home with you and not instead chat with your friends, the bartender, every hot guy who walk past you, and the homeless man you brought into the bar because you though it’d be funny. Bar boys too appreciate it when their customer only has eyes for them. And starting your off off with a pouting bar boy is never fun. That joy should be saved for when he becomes your boyfriend several days later.

9. But Do It Safely.
Not using how much you despise wearing a condom as a pick up line is another suggestion our friendly bartender has for those trying to get laid. ‘Cuz it’s about getting laid, not getting laid to rest. Bangkok bar boys are not appreciative of customers who refuse to wear protection either. In their minds it’s not about whether or not the farang is diseased, but . . . well, in their minds there is no question, they know he is. But they also know the benefit of insisting a customer slips on a rubber is that many will be too drunk to accomplish that tricky feat. And that means a full night’s tip for zero effort. Which is what a bar boy thinks safe sex means in the first place.

10. Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are.
The last bit of advice our knowledgeable bartender has worth discussing (there are three other bits of wisdom, but like most queens he tends to repeat himself) is to not use your hook-up as your official coming out party. Because unlike Islamic jihadists, gay men do not think seventy-some virgins constitute paradise. To a gay man, hearing, “This is my first time,” is almost as bad as hearing, “I don’t swallow.”

It's not that a bar boy won't tell everyone about the disgusting things you attempted to do with him, but that he'll do so in Thai. And that's like a tree falling in a forest.

It’s not that a bar boy won’t tell everyone about the disgusting things you attempted to do with him, but that he’ll do so in Thai. And that’s like a tree falling in a forest.

Bangkok bar boys, however, love virgins. Especially virgins to Bangkok. That not only means you don’t know that 5,000 baht is not a normal short-time tip, but that you’ll come quickly so they can go even more quickly. With the 1,000 baht taxi money that customers traditionally give their bar boy.

Costs aside, however, a gogo bar in Bangkok is the perfect place to lose your gay virginity. Bar boys will not hold your lack of experience against you. ‘Cuz they really aren’t all that interested in your orgasm in the first place. And bar boys are discrete too. They won’t tell all of your friends about the disgusting things you wanted to do with them. They will tell all the other boys on the soi, but then they were all laughing at you already. So no foul. And getting your gay on in Bangkok means no one back home will ever know. ‘Cuz what happens in Bangkok, stays in Bangkok. Which helps explains why there are so many ladyboy bars in the breeder sex tourist nirvana of Nana Plaza.

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Bangkok Gay Gogo Bar Dos And Don’ts For The Newbie: The Hotel Room Edition

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A First Timers Visit To Gay Pattaya:   Part 2a -  Dongtan Beach And The Crack Of Don

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A Walk On The Wild Side at Bangkok's Tawan Bar

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How To Get The Most Out Of The Short-Time You Now Have

05 Thursday Mar 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

The Good General has imposed a curfew on the hours you'll have to enjoy the boys of Bangkok. But there are holes in his plan if you know how to spot them.

The Good General has imposed a curfew on the hours you’ll have to enjoy the boys of Bangkok. But there are holes in his plan if you know how to spot them.

If you’ve ever partied in Bangkok, you know it as a city that never sleeps. That’s the good news. The bad news is that in his continuing effort to make Thailand a happy place, The Good General has decided to set Bangkok’s alarm clock to 12am. For the next two weeks (kinda,sorta) at the stroke of midnight Bangkok’s party palaces will be turning into pumpkins. Short-time offs just became that much shorter as the ongoing police vs. military/government squabble for power and tea money claims its latest victim.

According to numerous bar owners and event organizers all nightlife and entertainment venues, parties, and events must adhere to the new midnight entertainment curfew which will last for about two weeks. The word came down from above early Wednesday morning when squads of army and police officials visited a number of nightlife venues to order them closed for the Maka Bucha holiday. Which, since by law all major Buddhist holidays are dry, was expected. That the curfew would extend beyond the actual holiday, not so much.

Trying to make sense out of governmental decreed closing hours have never been easy. That the new curfew has been spread orally with nothing appearing in writing just adds to that confusion. Nevertheless, the new normal appears to be a midnight curfew for most venues, and a 1am closing for those located in an ‘entertainment zone,’ with some splitting the difference and planning to shut their doors at 12:30am. ‘Cuz even the country’s government runs on Thai time.

The hours you have to spend with the hot males of Soi Twilight just got shorter.

The hours you have to spend with the hot males of Soi Twilight just got shorter.

Regardless of just when the party ends, the new curfew means Bangkok’s sex tourists will be left with less time to party down. And fewer hours to decide just who they want to get down with. That’s not a problem for fans of Pattaya. Both because the new curfew appears to not be spreading beyond Bangkok’s borders and because said fans have already perfected the art of limiting their wallet’s exposure to the ruinous expenses of achieving an orgasm. From ordering up a boy through a mamasan without setting foot in the bar (thereby avoiding a $3 drink charge) to waiting until a bar closes to grab a boy desperate for a customer (thereby avoiding the off fee and ensuring the lucky boy will perform for a minimum tip) the cheap bastards who help make Thailand’s Sin City what it is know a thing or five about saving some bucks when out for a fuck.

Obviously, if you spend your time in Bangkok instead you understand the value of a dollar. Which is about getting value for the dollars you spend instead of trying to limit the number of them you expend. ‘Cuz when it comes to your orgasm it should be about quality and not a fear of quantity. But with the new curfew in effect, considering the financial aspect of your night on the town can help ensure yours is not a case of diminishing returns. And doing so while remaining a bar boy half naked kind of guy, will help keep your attitude a positive one. ‘Cuz otherwise you’re gonna start whining about the shortened hours of fun caused by the curfew and that’s the first step down the slippery slope that leads to being just another disgruntled sex tourist in Pattaya. So here are a few tips on keeping your head up while out on the prowl for the perfect guy to share a bit of head with:

Time Is Money.
Sure there is a lot to be said about the joy of spending hours in a gogo bar watching a steady progression of boys getting naked and doing those things naked boys tend to do. But from strictly a financial point of view, those are wasted hours, hours you spend getting wasted that do little to add to your evening’s bottom line. Which should be about lining up the bottom you’ll spend the night with. From an ROI viewpoint, less is more. The less time you spend sitting in a bar, the more time you’ll have sitting on some hot Thai guy’s face. So don’t think of the new curfew as a restriction on the hours you can spend spending your hard-earned cash on drinks for pushy mamasans and boys you won’t be offing, think of it as The Good General helping you to realize the greatest return on the money you’re investing into getting laid.

Learning to cope with the confines imposed by the curfew can mean getting even more value out of a short-time off.

Learning to cope with the confines imposed by the curfew can mean getting even more value out of a short-time off.

The Early Bird Gets The Worm.
Granted, showing up at a gogo bar when it first opens makes you come off as a bit desperate. But then since you’re planning on spending your evening in a gogo bar, you probably are anyway. Still, being pigeon-holed as one of those pathetic punters who timed his Viagra intake poorly or whose system shuts down by 9pm regardless is never a good thing. No problemo. The boys know there is a curfew going on and if you set the fake Rolex you just bought at the night market ahead by an hour or two you can pretend you timed your arrival at a socially acceptable hour.

The plus in arriving early is that there will be many more boys to choose from. Not the bar’s stars mind you. ‘Cuz they don’t make their appearance until later in the evening when the bar isn’t just filled with cheap bastards trying to get the most out of their short-time off. But even with hours still in front of them to land a good customer, the boys who do come to work early will be desperately trying to avoid being offed by one of the usual crop of cheap bastard pathetic punters, and since you’re new to the early crowd scene they won’t have you pegged as belonging to that group. Yet. Score!

And as an added bonus, the boy you off probably showered just before coming to work so you can skip that step back in your hotel room and get even more naked flesh time in than you’d otherwise manage to achieve.

Oh if only that were true.

Oh if only that were true.

Fresh Boys Closed Due To False Advertising.
Bars on Soi Twilight come and go, but few went as quickly as Fresh Boys. Which was a shame. Had they lived up to their promise. ‘Cuz nothing is finer than a bar boy who hasn’t already serviced a half-dozen of your fellow sex tourists before you managed to get to him. Especially if you’ve ever spent an early evening at Dick’s watching the crowd that usually tends to hit the bars as soon as they open.

Personally, while I’m not generally concerned with how much a night in heaven costs, I think bar boys who’ve already made their evening’s tip a few times over should be discounted as the night wears on. Kinda like day old bread. ‘Cuz even with frequent showering, they start smelling a bit stale. But now that The Good General has decreed that you have to cum to the party earlier, boys whose freshness is past their expiration date are no longer a problem. Unless your preferred bar is Classic Boys. You’d think a bar with a ginormous water tank in it would mean a stable of boys constantly recently bathed. Nyet. But the chlorine does add to the bar’s ambiance, and at least you know whatever tropical skin diseases the punter who came before you attempted to pass on have been killed off. But I digress . . .

Short-Time Is The Right Time For Me.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to compute that a short-time off started earlier in the evening means a longer time of getting your rocket blasted off. But it take the wiles of a Pattaya sexpat to put a beneficial twist to the bar boy’s short-time refrain of, “You come, I go.” And there’s a lesson there to be learned.

When you off a boy at your usual hour (around 1am) whether it’s for a short-time or long-time off it’s a one-off too. Assuming you didn’t off two or more guys at once. But when you off that guy at 8pm instead, by 10pm you’ll find that you have time on your hands. When you’d planned on having your hands on something entirely different. Even with The Good General’s curfew in place, that still leaves you a few hours to slip into something more comfortable. Like another boy. Granted, stacking two or more short-time offs into one night won’t do much for the health of your bank account, but viewed as an evening of time well spent, it will put a healthy smile of your face.

So many men, so little time . . .

So many men, so little time . . .

Happy Endings Come In All Sizes.
No one likes to be rushed. Especially when it comes to the blood rushing to your little head. But there is something to be said for appreciating the short-time you have to spend with the man of your dreams. You quickly learn to appreciate the little things. Like the taste of his nipples. Or how his cock makes that cute little bend toward the right as it gets hard. When you have plenty of time on your hands and your hands are spending their time on him, it seems the night will never end, all good things will come to he who waits, and there’s no reason to try to squeeze the most out of your nocturnal hours together. Thanks to The Good General’s curfew that’s no longer a luxury you can afford. Now you have to cram every scintilla of sexual enjoyment into a much tighter space. If you’re lucky.

But even as the hours you have to fulfill your every dream lessen, there’s still more to be had. Living large while the curfew is in effect may force a change of habits, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You’ll be less picky about the boy you choose since you have less time to spend choosing him. That means less time being indecisive while those who don’t suffer from the same infliction off every guy you were considering. And there’s even the chance that the boy you do off, no longer having the hours available to him to make his night’s wages off of multiple offs, will instead try to give you the happy ending you dreamed of in an attempt to get as big of a tip out of you as possible. Or at least some taxi money.

You too will be forced to make the most out of the boy you off; G.O.D. will no longer be an option for finding a suitable playmate when the one you bought earlier didn’t live up to your hopes and dreams. You may just find that the result is being happier with the guy and short-time you have since you no longer have the time to move on to the next one. And that’s all The Good General wants out of life. A happier Thailand, and a happier you.

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By The Bottle

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Short Time Offs: The Premature Ejaculation Of The Bar World

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Off With His . . .

23 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

off with 1

In the world of Thailand’s gay gogo bars, offing a bar boy means that you are taking him away from the bar. What the two for you then do together is not of the bar’s concern, as obvious as what you will be doing may be. That’s how gogo bars avoid the issue of prostitution. It’s really no different than how escort agencies get away with the same trick back in the U.S. It’s about companionship between two adults, not sex. Wink, wink. Since there have been quite a few questions about the process and fees involved recently, and since that tradition still impacts the process today, I thought a brief explanation of the historical basis of offing a bar boy might be in order. But I’m going with a not-so-brief one instead.

Before there where gogo bars in Bangkok for gay clientele, there were gogo bars for the hetro set. Fish for sale has been a staple for visitors to the Kingdom for decades. The modern version got its start during the Vietnam War when Thailand was a popular spot for military service personnel on R & R. In those days, like today, the bars made money off of selling overpriced drinks and for surrounding customers with hot naked flesh. And made even more cash from supplying willing companions to those who wanted a fuller experience.

Working for a Thai employer is a bitch. They don’t pay well. And employees are completely at their mercy. Being the cheap ass most of them are, anytime they can get away with not paying a satang to an employee is a good day in their book. So the bars quickly developed a set of rules that kept employees in line and helped keep their bottom line in the black. The rules, which did and still do change from one bar to the next, are all backed up with monetary fines. Show up late, you get fined. Don’t show up at all, that’s another fine. Some of the straight bars today have even begun fining their stable when a girl gets a short-time off and then does not return to the bar when she’s done. Even outside of the bar world fining employees is a popular pastime among Thai employers. And because it is part of how business is done in Thailand, employees go along with the system that deducts wages from their check as often as possible.

off with 2

It’s always best for a gogo bar to have a large stable of employees on hand whenever a customer walks through the door. Sometimes I wish they cared more about quality over quantity, but there ya go. But when a gogo bar worker lands a customer, that means one less employee to entertain the clientele. So the bars decided that employee should be fined. What we typically call an off fee in the bars that gay men frequent is called a bar-fine in the gogo bars that cater to the straight crowd. They are the same thing. Whatever the amount set by the bar for this fine is, it is owed to the bar by the employee.

Of course gogo bar employees are poor, and customers are rich whether that’s true back in his home country or not. Traditionally, customers have been expected to pay the bar fine on the employee’s behalf. And that’s cool with the bar. They don’t care whose pocket the money comes from. They are still gonna make a profit out of it. Plus most bars pay a very small wage to each employee for showing up to work – but if that employee lands a customer, they don’t get their normal night’s wage. Because it is assumed they will earn even more from the tip they get off their customer. That’s another fine that isn’t even considered a fine. This tradition is slowly changing but is still practiced at many bars. I only mention it here to demonstrate how much bar owners love their cash. In case you never noticed.

So the off fee, or bar fine, is owed for a bar boy who spends time away from his place of work during regular working hours. If he leaves the bar three times in a night, going for short-time offs with three different customers, he owes the bar three bar fines. All of which will be paid by the customers who decided to off him. Which is both about tradition and deep pockets. If a customer decides to off him for more than one night, the bar boy is fined for each night he is away from work. And unless you are a total asshole, as the customer you will pay that fine on his behalf. Not that you have much choice these days ‘cuz that fine is usually added to your check bin.

off with 3

The only time I have ever argued over the amount of a bar fine I was asked to pay was a night after having offed a guy the night before and after having paid for that night’s off fee. The next night we went back to his bar around 9pm so I could pay an additional bar fine because I decided to keep him with me for another night. The bar wanted their usual off fee, plus another 100 baht, which was what their fine was for employees who showed up late for work (he was supposed to be there by 8pm). Both the boy and the bar thought that made perfect sense. And in the world of Bangkok’s gogo bars, it did.

My wallet disagreed. And actually won that one. Which still amazes me today. I paid the bar fine, but not the fine for being tardy. I claimed that he wasn’t late for work that night but rather was early for the next night. Meeting bullshit with bullshit of your own works well when face is involved. Plastering a stupid smile on your face and insistently repeating your same dubious claim of truth over and over again no matter what the other person says is the proper way to debate any issue in Thailand. The loser is he who blinks first.

So if you are confused about when and how much you owe on off fees, thinking of them as bar fines levied against the employee for not being at work should clarify the matter. For every night your boy is not at work – or is late getting there thanks to you, I guess – a bar fine is charged. Which you are supposed to pay. Thinking of them in this manner may also help explain why you should not expect a discount on the bar fines when you off a guy for an extended period of time. It’s like the fine you pay for speeding back home. You don’t get a discount for getting multiple speeding tickets. Fines are seldom treated like frequent flyer miles.

Gratuitous Gratuities In Gogo Bars

16 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

Bangkok gay go go bars

Tipping is not customary in Thailand. All the guidebooks, both online and in print, will tell you that this western custom is not the norm in the Kingdom. And, in Thailand, prostitution is illegal too. So of course you’ll never run across prostitutes on your visit. Nor will any Thai ask, or expect, a tip from you. But Thailand’s gay gogo bars are a world of their own. In Bangkok, that world is centered on Soi Twilight. Where you’ll find establishments full of prostitutes. And everyone involved in the business not only expects to be tipped, but will demand a gratuity from you. Hopefully, you’ll at least get an orgasm out of it.

Undoubtedly the most often asked question about tipping and gay gogo bars in Thailand is: how much? That’d be how much to tip the guy you took back to your hotel room. I’m not gonna tell you. Actually it’s not that I won’t, but rather I already have. Go hunt that post down if you must. This post, instead, is about all of the other guys – as well as those who once were guys – who will expect you to tip them. The easy rule of hand is to tip everyone. You’ll be a popular customer and all the boys will talk about what a big heart you have. All of the other customers, most of whom are expats, will talk about what a jerk you are and about how you are ruining their world. Don’t worry about it. Those guys grumble about everything anyway. The trick is to tip enough and to the right people to not be confused with an expat, and to not overtip to the point that all of the boys mark you as a sucker. Regardless of the years you’ve spent gaining that reputation.

So fill your pockets full of baht and get ready, here’s your definitive guide to tipping in Bangkok’s gay gogo bars:

Barkers & Touts: These are the guys who grab various parts of your body as you saunter down the soi trying to decide which bar to enter. Most visitors hate these guys. It’d be different if they grabbed the parts of you that you’re planning on having grabbed, but that you’ll have to wait for until you are inside a bar.

Veteran bar goers scoff at the idea of tipping barkers. Shooting them, yes. Handing over some cash? Not so much. But if you consider that tipping in the gay gogo bar world is more about extortion than gratitude, tipping the soi’s touts is a smart move. After doing so, the next time you stroll down the street they’ll be less aggressive and will greet you with a warm smile instead of pulling your arm off.

Bangkok gay go go bars

Captains: In theory, mamasans and captains are the same. In practice, captains don’t become mamasans until they master the trick of being overly aggressive, pushy, demanding, and greedy. Oh, and extremely annoying. So while most captains are mamasans, for now we’ll pretend they are actually part of the human race and are there to help you. That won’t last long.

The captain will be the first person you meet when you enter the bar. His job is to direct you to a seat. The bars are seldom so crowded you actually need help finding a seat, but the bars have learned that without a captain to direct traffic, newbies only make it as far as the first few steps into a bar. Then they stand there, dropped jaw, mesmerized by the naked and hard studs on stage. This would not be a problem except there is no money in it for the bar, so they’ve learned to help you to a seat where you can order a drink and start emptying your wallet.

It is not unusual at an entertainment venue to tip the person who seats you to score the best seat in the house. But this is Thailand. So fuck that. As the evening progresses you’ll have plenty of opportunities to tip staff members, no reason to jump in quite yet. Besides, it’s time for you to establish who is boss. The captain will lead you to either a chair at stage side, or to a spot on one of the benches, making other customers scoot over while half of the tables are still empty. Ignore him. It’s good practice for when he transforms into a mamasan.

The stage-side seats at first glance appear to be prime viewing. But sitting there means you’ll spend your evening staring up at the naked boys and you’ll spend the next day trying to find a chiropractor to fix the crick in your neck (you’d think with all the massage places in town you’d be able to find relief easily, but all of those places are in business to give you a different kind of relief). Sitting at stage-side also exposes you to various body fluids that tend to fly around once the show starts. The view from a few feet back is not only better, but safer too.

Bangkok gay go go bars

Thais are comfortable with what is familiar to them and since the captain has been sitting customers at the same table all night he’ll direct you to one that is overcrowded and overflowing. You do not want to sit there. Most of those potential tablemates are not really people you want to associate with. Plus, you will want plenty of empty space around you to fill with boys. So head in the opposite direction instead and stake out your claim at an empty table.

Waiters: After sitting down the captain will take your drink order. It will be brought to you by a waiter. In most bars all around the world it is customary to tip your waiter. Usually for each round. Thais have not yet figured this out and there is no reason for you to help them add to their tipping repertoire. Accept your drink and keep your wallet where it belongs.

The exception to this rule is when you’ve checked out all of the boys on stage and decided they all suck. Before you head off to a different bar for a better selection of meat, take a minute and check out your waiter. He may just be exactly what you have in mind. Just because he is not standing naked on stage does not mean he is not available. He is, after all, Thai. You’ll pay the bar a higher fee for offing him than you would for one of the bar boys, but waiters are usually much less jaded and have not learned how to screw you without having to screw you. Yet.

If you don’t off your waiter, at the end of your time in the bar he’ll be the employee who brings you your change. He will make sure your change is lots of worthless coins and almost as worthless small bills. The bars know guys hate coins and most will leave them as a tip regardless of how much they add up to. Don’t be surprised if your change includes coins worth several hundred baht.

A lot of customers are cheap bastards and do not leave anything as a tip, so whatever you tip will be fine. Depending on how long you sat at the bar, how cute the waiter is, and if you have a boy you are offing (who will watch to see how much you tip so he can establish how much extra to ask you for to cover his taxi after your orgasm), an acceptable tip is between 20 and 100 baht. Though if you leave 100 baht on purpose, you’ll be the first person that month to do so.

Bangkok gay go go bars

The tip you leave in the check wallet does not go to your waiter. No matter how cute he is. It goes to the ‘house’ and is supposed to be split among the waitstaff at the end of the evening. Good luck with that. If you want to tip your waiter and not the bar manager and owner, hand the check wallet back to him (with or without coins) and then place your tip directly in his hand. He gets to keep what you fork over in this manner.

It’s considered rude to tip your waiter by shoving a few bills down his pants while you cop a feel. Rude, but not unheard of. You may weigh the chance that others will think you are rude against the opportunity to molest a hot Thai guy and decide it’s worth it. Then go for it. Play dumb (you never know when a bar is looking to hire a new mamasan), you’ll get the same insincere wai that those who thought they should abide by their moral code while in a whorehouse do. Your stiffy is on the house.

Boys on Stage: If Thais were able to obtain visas for travel to other countries they’d be more clued in to tipping customs in the rest of the world. Lucky for you, they are not. While elsewhere it is customary for patrons to stuff bills in gogo boys’ g-strings while they are performing on stage, in Thailand this is not a normal practice. Even if you reach up and fondle a boy, tipping him while on-stage is not required. Fondling him while he is on stage is not required either, and is in fact not appreciated. That’s what the empty spot next to you is for. But if you can not control yourself, well, it’s amazing what a 100 baht will do toward smoothing a Thai’s ruffled feathers.

Boys Sitting With You: Unlike a boy on stage, when you are fondling one sitting with you, a tip is required. Even if you are too shy to play with the merchandise. The bar would rather you buy the boy a drink. The boy would rather you give him cash. Actually, the boy would rather you off him and give him lots of cash, but if instead you decide to throw him back into the pond, you should tip him for his time. 20 baht is plenty for a short, non-fondling chat. 100 baht is generous if you played with him; it’s not like he gave you a blow job. Unless he did give you a blow job. Then you may want to tip a bit more.

Bangkok gay gogo bar

Screeching Queens: You need not, however, tip a boy who approached you on his own. Invariably, these are the fem boys who screech out a ‘Sawaaaatdeeeee kaaaaaaaa’ when they plant their ass next to you. If you lack taste in men and like this kind of boy, then feel free to keep him with you and tip him for his time. If on the other hand he makes you consider going straight, your duty is to convince him to leave you alone, not to tip him.

Getting rid of an unwanted companion at a gay gogo bar in Thailand is not easy. Little screeching queens all want to be fabulous ladyboys when they grow up, but usually become mamasans instead. Ignorance is something they are earnestly striving to master. If you try and send one on his way by saying something like, “No thank you,” it will not work. Do not be polite. His English speaking skills may be minimal, so sign language is your best form of communication. And you have several choices. The most polite is a brushing away gesture with your hand. This works best with an look of extreme disgust on your face. A quicker acting gesture, and one everyone understands, is an emphatically thrown middle finger. Best yet is the ‘two fingers in your mouth, gag reflex in use’ gesture which is also understandable the world over. The plus with using this gesture is he’ll screech in horror as he scurries away. Which is entertaining in its own right.

Boys on Your Lap: Closely related to the screeching queen is the other screeching queen who demands a tip while he is spread across your lap while being fucked by one of his bar mates. If you are too drunk to identify this tipping opportunity, the screeching queen will help you out by yelling, “Tip Meeeeeeee!” in your face. Well, actually at your crotch. This is not a tip, it is extortion. Get over it and tip him quickly so he moves on to the next sucker. Unfortunately, they don’t make 10 baht notes, so you’ll have to waste a green bill to free yourself from this horror.

You may wonder how the fucking act decides which customers get their attention. Which really means you may be wondering how to avoid having a little Thai ladyboy wannabe getting fucked on your lap. Simple. The customers who have tipped the captain for showing them to a seat, tipped the waiter every time he brought a drink, and tipped every screeching queen who planted their ass next to him, are the ones they zero in on. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and guys who tip too much at gay gogo bars.

Bangkok gay go go bars

Boys Massaging You: Whether you called a boy over, bought him drinks and tipped him, or were too big of a pussy to send the little screeching queens fleeing from your presence, if the boys in the bar note you are handing out baht they will flock to you. Throwing a bit of cash around means half of the boys will soon be surrounding you. When the good tip-getting spots are taken and a boy is already sitting on each side of you, others will stand behind you, to your side, or in front of you and massage your neck, your hands, and/or your legs (all three of them).

As with most services in the bar whether you allow this is up to you. But if you do, again, it is customary to tip the boys working on your body parts. 20 baht per boy is fine. Maybe 100 baht to the one kneeling in front of you if he kept his hands behind his back.

Boys in the Toilet: In many of the gay gogo bars you’ll also get a shoulder or neck massage when you are trying to take a piss in the toilet. I’m not sure how this custom started, or who thought a guy would enjoy a neck massage when he is trying to empty his bladder, but there ya go. Much like the screeching queens who get fucked on your lap, consider the toilet massage extortion, hand over a 20 baht note and pray the sucker leaves you alone so you can pee in peace.

The toilet massage guys are not exactly at the top of the pecking order in the bar and some become quite aggressive in their pursuit of a tip. Amazingly, they have not figured out they could get a big tip by dropping to their knees, but instead will just keep mauling your upper body in an effort to get more baht out of you. If the first 20 baht didn’t do the trick and they still won’t leave you alone, do not fall for their additional extortion attempts. You’re already armed, just direct your flow in his direction and he’ll get the idea. Or you’ll find the sole kinky Thai in Bangkok.

Bangkok gay go go bars

The Boy You Take Home: All those 20 baht tips you’ve been handing out for attention, or to be left alone, add up. If you’ve been careful, you may have enough money left to actually off a boy and take him back to your hotel with you. If you do, you probably have sex on the mind. Everyone else has more tips in mind.

The mamasan who tallies up your check bin, with off fee included, will ask for a tip. Not because she did anything to earn it, but because she’s learned that being pushy works with most Westeners. Even though she expended the least amount of effort out of all of the bar employees you tipped during your visit, she will expect 100 baht as a tip. Ignore her.

Giving money to mamasans only encourages them. She is going to demand some of the tip you give to your boy when he returns to the bar anyway. Besides, when she was younger she dreamed of a fabulous future as a ladyboy on stage, Instead she grew old and ugly and could only find employment as a mamasan. So she’s used to being disappointed. It’d be cruel of you to hold out some hope by giving her a tip, allow her to wallow in her misery while she reflects on what it was she did in a previous life to have come back as a mamasan in this one. That can count as the cultural experience for your trip.

When you get back to your hotel, unless you have been careful about where you booked, the hotel too will want a tip. They call theirs a joiner fee. It’s a tip for using your room for sex and is usually a fixed-price, anywhere from 400 to 1,000 baht and more. The hotel acts as a pimp and pimps are the only Thais you’ll run across who refuse to negotiate price. So don’t bother. Pay up. You really don’t want to waste time in the lobby when all the fun will be up in your room anyway.

Bangkok gay go go bars

Lastly, of course, is the boy himself. I already told you I’m not using this post to discuss appropriate tips for your boy d jour. But as big of a concern for newbies as how much is when. This is the part of the night where fantasy takes off and forking over cash ruins that fantasy for may customers. Fortunately, the custom in Thailand is to pay for the goods after delivery. You tip the boy after he is dressed and ready to leave. This also allows you to decide how much to tip, depending on how good of a time you had. Or how badly you hurt him.

Some guys feel most comfortable leaving the tip on the dresser (but if you do you will have to point to it). Most slip the tip to the guy just before he walks out the door. Surprisingly, most boys will take your tip without counting it, wai, smile, and leave. Not surprisingly, others count it carefully, and then, regardless of how much you tipped, ask for more. They usually will ask for money for a taxi as the excuse for more baht. You can avoid feeling like you have to give your boy more cash by making sure the tip you give includes a handful of smaller baht notes. The greedy ones will still ask, but you already got yours so ignore their pleas of poverty.

Outside of Bangkok: As a newbie you may not yet have made it to the sex tourist capital of the world, Pattaya. Tipping in Pattaya is different than tipping in Bangkok, or in any other city or town in Thailand. In Pattaya, you’ll be expected to tip everywhere you go because the entire town is a brothel. At the same time, Pattaya attracts the biggest number of cheap bastards, so being stiffed on a tip is par for the course.

You can quickly go broke tipping in Pattaya, so embrace the cheap bastard within you; no worries, you’ll blend into the crowd. A good trick if you do not want to be constantly hassled for a tip, is to learn a few phrases of Russian. Then no one will expect a tip out of you. Nor will they want to have anything to do with you. Even to a Thai, there are somethings one just doesn’t do for any amount of money.

I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: Return Of The Boy From Tawan

01 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Gay GoGo Bars

1

“Dude. I love you.”

“Yeah, I know. But then who doesn’t?”

“Could you just once try not being an asshole?”

“I did. It didn’t turn out well. Besides, telling me you love me just means you’re inching up to what’s really on your mind. So spill.”

“Never mind.”

Relationships can be a bitch. They say communication is of utmost importance in a successful one. Unfortunately that often means using words that you may not actually want to utter. But fortunately we were in Bangkok, our third night of our trip, and Noom – my bar boy friend and current love of my life – is an expert at communicating. In a variety of languages. One of which is snark. Dave, not so much. Normally, at this point in my tale, I’d have to mention that Dave too is the love of my life, just a newer chapter in it. But since he was busy acting like a little bitch, I won’t. Noom, who is no slouch himself in the bitch department when he wants to be and is not a big fan of not mentioning the unmentionable, took Dave’s ‘never mind’ to be an invitation to add his two cents worth.

“He want Tawan boy. He gay.”

2

Communication may be of the utmost importance in a successful relationship but when that relationship includes three pairs of balls it can also make life difficult. At least for Dave. Who was busy not denying the truth of Noom’s declaration.

We’d spent the previous evening reintroducing Dave to Bangkok. But this time as a gay man. Which, eventually, had meant a visit to one of the city’s justifiably famous gay gogo bars. And despite – or perhaps because of – Noom’s insistence on pretending Dave liked young, effeminate twinks, we’d stopped in for a quick look at Tawan, Bangkok’s premiere muscle stud bar. That quick look turned into an hour or two of Dave being fondled by a few of the bar boys that Noom had encouraged to descend upon him. And had culminated in my offering to let Dave explore his newfound gayness by offing one of them. He’d refused. But that was then. And this was now. Even if he was having a hard time building himself up to it. Before Noom had the chance to start playing with Dave’s cock again to prove his point, I decided to get a few strokes of my own in first.

“What? Two months into being a gay man and already you feel the need to go play?”

“No, you know I’m happy with you. It’s just . . .”

Sensing the lull in the conversation needed his input, Noom chimed in. Again.

“He gay.”

Dave, sensing that Noom needed to be ignored, again, tried to place the blame for his proposed infidelity elsewhere.

“Well you said I should off him.”

“I didn’t say you should, I said you could.”

“Well can I?”

“That depends. Can I watch?”

3

Noom, feeling the need to remind us of how fluent he is in every conceivable form of communication, including the non-verbal ones, splayed himself on his stomach across the bed , moaning loudly and doing a pretty good impression of being a bottom for someone who says he doesn’t. Dave was not amused.

“I told you not to make so much noise when we’re um, showering, ‘cuz he could hear you.”

Despite good intentions to not go there, many has been the visiting farang who has succumbed to the earthly promises promised by a naked bar boy on stage. Some hold true for a visit or two before taking the plunge, other’s resolve melts within an hour. Some have never been with a guy before, others take it slow, preferring to try some tits with their dick at Nana Plaza for starters. They’re just too available. Too hot. And too damn cheap. It’s a slippery slope from just looking to buying. And there are worse things to spend your money on while in Thailand.

Early on in the trip I’d thought about suggesting Dave try Noom on for size. To keep it in the family. So to speak. I thought it would be good experience for Dave. And that Noom could teach him a few tricks of the trade. Preferably those I’d taught Noom. Early on in the trip Noom gave me an unsolicited look that clearly said that wouldn’t be happening. It wasn’t that Noom didn’t like Dave, but that he considered him family. Which in Noom’s mind meant Dave’s wallet was already family too and there was no good reason he should have to work at it any further to accomplish that goal.

4

Getting him laid, however, was an entirely different matter. And despite the fun he’d been having pretending the perfect playmate for Dave would be the most effeminate little twink he could find, Noom had identified Dave as gay – which in Noom’s mind meant one of Tawan’s muscle studs riding Dave’s ass for hours was the right way to go. Evidently Dave agreed. The wisdom of partnering my partner for a night in Tawan heaven was still a debatable point in my mind. Although the suggestion of watching wasn’t entirely a joke. But then that would have meant including Noom in the audience too. And I wasn’t sure Dave really needed a cheering section during his second encounter with another man’s penis.

I don’t care much how others define their relationship. But personally, an ‘open’ one has never made much sense to me. That’s more about having a fuck buddy, even if you live together. Monogamy – when it’s by choice and not by dictate – has always seemed the better way to go. At least in theory. In practice it’s a different story. Especially since my story includes Noom. To date I’d been lucky and both of the guys I wanted to be monogamous with understood that Thailand and Noom didn’t – or shouldn’t – count. Dave had broached the subject before we landed in Bangkok saying he’d understand if I wanted to spend some time with Noom alone. Which may have been a test. But then I always take what someone says at face value. At least when it concerns me and an orgasm.

Dave’s orgasm, however, hadn’t come into the picture. Until we’d landed and Noom decided it should. Which may have been a test too. Nonetheless, once I’d weighed the pros and the cons – the pro being the aforementioned alone time with Noom, the con not really considered too deeply – broadening Dave’s horizons (that’d be the aforementioned second encounter with another man’s penis) while in Thailand, I thought, might get that urge out of his system. If it was even there to begin with. And whether or not it had been, a certain boy at Tawan, had settled that matter. Now the only matter needing settling was where and when while Dave considered the if. Which Noom quickly dispensed with. “I call him.”

5

As anxious as Dave was, his choice of partners wasn’t, preferring his sleep over earning some baht that sounded guaranteed anyway, and we agreed to meet later that evening at the bar. That provided Noom several hours to frequently bring up the subject again, as he offered Dave the finer tips on having sex with a bar boy. None of which were required, but nonetheless gave Noom great joy in making Dave’s day as uncomfortable as possible. I finally had to give Noom a look of my own when while perusing cellphones that he thought Dave’s wallet might be good for at our favorite stall at MBK he used his hands to emphasis his question, “What if he too big?”

The little gay boy who works the stall and has a bit of a crush on Noom tittered and seemed about ready to offer his own advice on the subject when I called a halt to Noom’s fun. He didn’t get his phone. But still managed to have the last word as we walked away. “Come, we buy you condom.” At least the taxi driver on our way back to the hotel didn’t have to hear what his Thai fare had planned for his farang friend’s evening.

Having been generously tipped the night before, the boys at Tawan were happy to see Dave when we finally hit the bar, and after earning themselves a few more baht scurried off to tell their barmate his customer had arrived. As anxious and as nervous as Dave was, his eyes lit up when the boy sauntered over wearing a pair of black shorts that left little to the imagination. Noom got in a parting shot. “See! He big!” I’m not sure Dave even heard him. He’d waited long enough. He just wanted to get back to the room we’d arranged.

6

“You sure this is what you want?”

“You said it’s okay.”

“It is. I just want to make sure you aren’t feeling pushed into it.”

“No. I’m cool.”

“Maybe you should buy him a drink first.”

I’d never seen Dave turn down the offer of a round before.

“You want to watch the show first?

“Dude!”

Noom leaned over and said something to the boy in Thai that I pretended to not understand. In fact he said a lot of something in Thai, most of which I didn’t understand. Dave, who’d been in dreamland from the attention the guy had been paying to his right nipple – a nipple that had sworn it wasn’t gay just the night before – finally managed to notice the conversation.

7

“What did he just say?”

“I tell him want you like.”

Huh. Since they’d not had that conversation I had to assume what Dave liked was an assumption on Noom’s part. But the giggle it invoked promised that Dave would soon find out what he liked anyway. And Noom settled back into my arms with a satisfied sigh, his work for the night done as Dave and his friend headed back to our hotel. When we arrived there ourselves several hours later I proved I’m a better boyfriend than bar boy’s friend and refused to tell Noom what room number Dave and his muscle stud from Tawan were in. No problemo. Make-up sex is just as good even when you’re not really making up.

Sometime in the early morning hours I awoke to the feel of Dave slipping into bed. Carefully claiming that part of my body Noom wasn’t busy using as a pillow, he cuddled in to give his exhausted body some much needed rest.

“So? How was it?”

8

“Shhhh!” he smiled, casting a warning glance toward Noom’s slumbering body. But evidently quite pleased with whatever instructions Noom had given. And then wisely moved in closer to press his already hardening cock against me. Just to prove it already was happy to be back where it belonged. Never one to miss much, Noom interrupted his not-snoring to welcome Dave back to the fold too. “I tell you he gay.”

It would have been a better shot, but Dave had already drifted off to sleep.

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Welcome To The New Soi Twilight

12 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

New Soi Twilight 1

Who says you can’t go home again? Landing in Bangkok always feels like a home coming to me. The friendly greeting I get arriving at my usual digs seems more like I’d just left the day before rather than the six months it really is. And when I step into Soi Twilight, my entire being breathes a sigh of relief that I’ve made it to the happiest place on Earth once again. At least until the first barker grabs my arm. But then that’s part of the fun too. As is giving him a close look to weigh his potential as an off. Some things never change. Life on the soi, however, has. But ya really gotta look for it to find anything that’s different.

The biggest change I noted on this trip was how little of the larger changes evident back in the spring still lingered in and around Patpong. The military presence is no longer present. And the night market seemed to have a bit more life to it too. Amazing what a little free-market bootlegging can do. And how little decrees from above manage to last in the Land of Smiles.

Back when The Good General had just taken over the country and was busy making Thailand a happy place, the crackdown on the Thai version of capitalism meant knock-off watches, bootleg DVD, and fake designer handbags quickly went underground. They’re all back. Even if the customer count is still low and few if any are buying. No doubt hopeful vendors are happier with the current status quo, but I miss those days when instead of just pointing to which Rolex watch you wanted you had to step to the back of the booth and make your choice surreptitiously from a vendor’s hidden stash. That added to the ambiance of the market. A sense of naughtiness ruled the night. It was like the lure of knowing for a few over-priced beers you could watch ‘pussy blow candle’ just steps away versus the reality of how not erotic watching a tired vagina wheezing out a puff of stale air really is.

New Soi Twilight 2

Knock-off vaginas too were once a staple of Patpong; you never were really sure if that gorgeous creature throwing itself at you was a woman or a ladyboy. Until you remembered you were in Thailand. So obviously, it was a ladyboy. And like with buying a fake Rolex, many visitors purchased something different than what they thought they were paying for. And went home with a memory to last their lifetime. I’m not sure why the ladyboy brigade moved to Sukhumvit, but Patpong is less than what it once was because of it.

On Soi Twilight, the Big Cock Show! is back once again. And still seldom features cocks that most would consider to qualify as big. But exposed they are and that’s a nice improvement from six months ago when the full monty was a no-no. The gogo bar shows have yet to degenerate to full-on sex acts on and off stage once again, but high season is fast approaching.

The beer bars that sprung up along the soi in answer to the sorry state of the world’s economy haven’t proven to be the magical elixir that they promised to be. If anything, their empty chairs accentuate how slow bidness is on the soi. But then bidness is slow everywhere you look. Planes landing at Suvarnabhumi are not packed to the gills, the lines at Immigration are non-existent. Taxis are plentiful everywhere in town, reservations are not required anywhere, and even the aisles at MBK offer customer-free passage.

New Soi Twilight 3

Still, the beer bars appear to be one of the few missteps bar owners on Soi Twilight have made. The soi was never viewed by customers as a communal hang-out. That’s what Soi 4 is for. Twilight’s stock in trade has always been its shows. And the naked boys you could take back to your hotel. The Asian clientele that makes up the soi’s customer base these days walk right past the beer bars. And the long-time sex tourists looking for cheaper prices known those are available just down Suriwong and come with exposed dick. Fortunately for newbies the confusion over what is what and where the boys are is alleviated by the barkers who still take them firmly in hand and usher them into their bars. And life is good.

Dream Boy is still the bar of choice to those customers whom the bars’ barkers allow to make a choice. And if you are into nostalgia, their show is the same as it was ten years ago. Hot Male still tries to be the sleaziest bar on the soi, but since there is still some degree of prohibition on naughtiness, their attempt is a watered down version of what once was. X-Size still has the most diverse line-up of bar boys; despite the occasional attempt at being something else, Classic is still home to the soi’s twinks. And Zeus looks the same as it did when it was Ocean Boys, which was just a slightly updated version of Future Boys.

Bar owners are relying on an old stand-by when it comes to pricing schemes too. Bidness is down so prices are up. That gives long-time visitors something to bitch about. Just like it did with the old prices. And the prices before that. But the steady stream of men headed up Dream Boy’s staircase suggests for most visitors whatever the bars decide to charge is well worth the money.

New Soi Twilight 4

The biggest change here is that more and more boys are stating their expected tips up front. Some have even given themselves a raise. Quoting a fee in advance was unheard of when farang were primarily the customer base. The irony is that now that the soi is filled with customers from nearby countries where haggling over prices is the norm, no bartering is allowed.

Across Suriwong, Jupiter looks more like Soi Twilight than it ever has in the past. But its stable of men is still filled with male runway model types, and its chairs still filled with more women than a lot of gay men like to see in an establishment that supposedly caters to their own. Always a leader in wanting the highest tips for the least amount of work – or time – the captains quote fees these days. And their Asian clientele gladly pays the asking price.

That sigh of relief my entire being exhales when I step into Soi Twilight becomes a massive inhalation of testosterone laced air when I step through Tawan’s doors once again. I’m surprised the ladyboys who appear in Tawan’s show far too often don’t hold their breath the entire time they are in the club out of fear of what that heady scent will do to their carefully managed estrogen levels. Tawan should bottle that scent and offer it as air freshener.

New Soi Twilight 5

The faces have changed at Tawan, the bodies have not. Nor has the overt friendliness of the staff. On Twilight the bars make an attempt at professionalism in their shows; at Tawan they take a much more lackadaisical approach. It’s more like a party at a frat house. Where no women showed up and boys being boys do what boys like to do anyway. On Twilight they make a production out of their not-so big cocks on parade; at Tawan those cocks appear at random both during and between shows. And if you hit it on the right day, the night ends with a chuck-wow contest. Just like it always has. Maybe it’s about location, but Tawan still offers what it always offered, regardless of who is running the country.

Welcome to the new Soi Twilight and Patpong circa 2014. It looks a lot like it did in 2013. And 2012 too. To old timers the minor recent changes, both good and bad, are barely noticeable. To first-timers it’s still an eye-opening experience. And it’s still like no other place in the planet.

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Top Ten Tips: How To Not Off A Bar Boy

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

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Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs, Stupid Tourist Tricks

Ignoring the signs staring you in the face means the kiss of death for your night in heaven.

Ignoring the signs staring you in the face means the kiss of death for your night in heaven.

I generally like to provide the counterpoint to all of the bad bar boys stories out there. I also like to think the general consensus that they all are liars, cheats, drug-addicts, and lazy is Pattaya-centric, ‘cuz in my dealings with Bangkok bar boys that simply is not true. Generally, I believe that what you put out there, and how you treat others, is what you’ll receive in return. Which makes all of those lying, cheating, drug addicted, lazy Pattaya bar boys make sense. But even the best of us has occasionally run across a bar boy who is just not up to the task. I have too. And later, after the fact, when I’m wondering just how pathetic it is that I’m about to masturbate alone in Thailand just to have the orgasm I already paid for, invariably I know it’s my own damn fault. I let my gonads do the thinking. Again. Even though I knew better, I offed a bar boy who experience should have taught me was gonna never live up to my expectations.

That doesn’t mean that you can have a perfect track record by being cautious about who you pick to fulfill your fantasies. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, things just don’t go as planned. But even then, looking back, I know I coulda done better. I was too rushed, or too lazy, or too horny, or too something when I shouldn’t have been. For example, there was a bar boy at Hot Male I offed who did not exhibit any of the warning signs of a guaranteed dud. Okay, so his limited English was even more limited that normal. But he had the body of a Greek god. So I offed him, got back to my room, and discovered that along with that Greek god’s body he had the dick of a carnival freak. Yup, fang muk are difficult to spot in advance. And difficult to swallow back in your room.

Nonetheless, there are some common signs that the bar boy of your dreams will turn out to be a nightmare instead. And just like with how much you tip, it’s up to you. You can ignore what should have been evident, and then start bitching and moaning about the dud you paid for. Or you can wise-up and pay heed to these words of wisdom of when it is ion your best interest to not off a bar boy:

Guys with something to show will always find a way to show it.

Guys with something to show will always find a way to show it.

1. When What He’s Packing In His Underwear Ain’t His Package.
Sex sells. An iPhone stuffed into the front of your briefs does not. The general consensus is that bar boys keep their valuable stuffed in their tighty whities while on stage out of fear that whatever they hold dear to them may get ripped off if left in the dressing room. Bullshit. That’s a farang construct based on how farang act. There are only two reasons a bar boy stuffs his frontage with a foreign object. And neither is about being robbed, they are both about robbing you of your night’s enjoyment.

First, it’s his cellphone and he just can’t live without being available when his friends and family reach out to touch someone. That doesn’t bode well for you. That probably means he’ll be texting during your orgasm too. Second, he needs something down there to form a bulge and since Buddha saw no good reason to bless him otherwise, he relies on whatever he had in his pants pocket to do the work for him. That too doesn’t bode well for you even if you are not a size queen.

2. When He’s On The Prowl For Fresh Meat.
While you can’t blame a guy for trying, that doesn’t mean you have to be his bitch either. Always be wary of bar boys who approach you. You may think you are god’s gift to bar boys, but you ain’t. He’s not attracted to you, he’s attracted to your wallet. Any bar boy who approaches you has his eye on the prize and that ain’t your satisfaction. Treat him as you would a used car salesman who comes hustling across the lot saying he’s got a deal for you. ‘Cuz in either case you’re gonna end up with a lemon.

This has been one of my golden rules of offing a bar boy that has served me well over the years. Except for Noom. He approached me the first night we met and I thought perhaps I’d blown my chance many times in the past by refusing to off those who sought me out. At least until he corrected me. He says he got tired of me eyeballing his every move that night, that after watching me turn away bar boy after bar boy he finally decided I was just waiting for his appearance by my side. So I’ll add that caveat to this rule. Eye contact and a smile is an invitation. So now you shy guys have a fall back.

Whether it is straight porn or his favorite Thai sit-com, his television viewing habits should not be part of your orgasm.

Whether it is straight porn or his favorite Thai sit-com, his television viewing habits should not be part of your orgasm.

3. When He Thinks The English For Sawatdee Is Buy Me A Drink.
When the first words out of a bar boy’s mouth that you can understand is a request for you to spend money on him, your future has just been told. I like guys who hustle, I’m not a fan of those who try to hustle me. There should be a small window of time to get to know each other, or at least to allow you the opportunity of checking him out up close and personal, before you are obligated to help him and his bar make a profit off of your visit. And bar boy work ain’t that thirsty of a job.

4. When He’s Addicted To Straight Porn.
I only mention this one because it seems to be a common occurrence among fans of Pattaya. Bar boys with their eyes glued to their cellphones watching straight porn is only a phenomenon I’ve witnessed in Sin City. What floors me is how many punters seem to think this is normal. Even later back in their hotel room. If he needs to look at pussy to get hard, he’s in the wrong line of work. And you’ve got the wrong equipment. Besides, do you really want to catch a glimpse of vagina when your intentions were a night in heaven?

5. When The Mamasan Told You So.
Whether you still call them a mamasan, or a captain as is more likely the case in Bangkok, the bar employee who oversees your visit never has your best interests at heart. That doesn’t mean they are all out to fleece you. Some can even be helpful. But money, not your orgasm, is always job #1.

Like with a bar boy whose first words are about his thirst, any mamasan who asks for a drink as a greeting should not be trusted. Ditto when the first words out of her mouth are, “What boy you want?” Even if she doesn’t commit those unpardonable sins, be dubious about any bar boy she picks for you. That selection often depends on which bar boy tips her for your business. And the meat for sale is supposed to be on the stage, not sitting in your chair.

Blockbuster movies come with a trailer, there's no reason your off shouldn't include a sneak preview too.

Blockbuster movies come with a trailer, there’s no reason your off shouldn’t include a sneak preview too.

6. When His Yes Means No.
Unless you are extremely narrow in the range of what you enjoy doing in bed, you are usually better off going with the flow with any bar boy you encounter. And if it was important to you – whatever ‘it’ was – you shoulda made damn sure he would satisfy that need before you offed him. Having said that, there is also the Thai aversion to uttering “No” that needs to be considered. “I do everyting” is Thai for no. So even though you asked if he bottoms, he won’t when you make that attempt ‘cuz ‘everyting’ didn’t include anal.

Personally, I consider kissing an integral part of sex. And I get that some bar boys just ain’t into swapping spit with customers. No problemo. And no bidness from me either. So I always ask. And watch for the non-verbal clues that tell me his yes means no. If there is any question, I follow up with asking him if he is a good kisser. That almost always gets a shy laugh. But the guys who do will immediately prove it. Those who won’t stop at the laugh.

If topping is important to you, there’s not much you can do in the bar to ensure he bottoms other than inviting him to sit on your lap. Which I don’t advise. But a few follow-up questions can help you gauge his reaction for honesty. Be explicit. Asking, “I fuck you?” leaves little room for misunderstanding. And his face will tell you more than his words will. If you are a size queen, a sneak peak or at least a quick feel is not out of the question. That doesn’t mean you have a license to grope, or that you should start checking out the size of every guy in the bar. But no bar boy will refuse if it means sealing the deal. Unless he knows he’s lacking in the first place.

Watch for non-verbal clues, 'cuz when a problem exists there's usually a clue.

Watch for non-verbal clues, ‘cuz when a problem exists there’s usually a clue.

7. When He Comes With A Sticker Price.
I think from now on when I hear from a reader who experienced a night with a dud, who starts off his tale with “He told me he cost 2,000 baht” I’m just gonna mark those comments as spam and ignore them. Because every dud story I hear involves a bar boy who stated his fee up front. That’s not how it works. How much you tip is up to you. When you’ve agreed to a price before you leave the bar, there is no incentive for him to attempt to please you. And nine times out of ten, he won’t.

8. When He’s Just Not Into You.
When a bar boy’s attention is everywhere but on you, it’s never a good sign. No matter how much you are lusting after him, he’s just not into you. And can’t even summons up enough effort to act as though he is. Why would you think it’ll be any different once you get him alone, back in your hotel room? Even when it is just the two of you, he’ll still find the cheap painting on the wall more fascinating than he does you. Granted, you will seldom find a bar boy who with one look decides you rock his entire world. But at least he can fake it.

There was a bar boy at Dream Boy a few years ago that I asked to come sit with me. His face was okay, but he had these massive thighs that I immediately began imagining wrapped around my face. It was lust at first sight. At least for one of us. Dream Boys is a popular bar and can get quite crowded at times, meaning the bar just keeps packing punters in regardless of whether there is room left for them or not. So it was that night. Mr. Thighs To Dream For came off the stage in his underwear at my signal, and plopped his gorgeous flesh down next to mine. And then proceeded to stare at his friends on stage. The mamasan squeezed a fresh piece of meat into our row of seats and my leg brushed up against his. He immediately shifted so we were no longer touching. Huh. Who knew I was that toxic? But maybe he was just giving me room. So I moved my leg against his again, this time on purpose. He managed to find some existing space that didn’t exist to move away again.

Sa-moke and smoke are two different things. If it matters to you, learn the difference.

Sa-moke and smoke are two different things. If it matters to you, learn the difference.

Fortunately for me I can take a hint. I handed him 20 baht and gestured for him to head back to the stage. The incredulous look on his face was priceless. But, really? He expected me to off him when he couldn’t stand my leg touching his flesh? He was almost immediately replaced by a bar boy who’d been sitting with another customer, one who I was pissed at myself for letting get away, one with whom I’d traded several significant glances with over his potential customer’s shoulder. He scooted in next to me, gave my leg a squeeze, planted a quick kiss on my cheek, and the with a sad look on his face said, “I wit customer.”

Yup, he was. And that customer had his eyes on us. The boy suggested I wait for an hour and he’d be back. Unbeknownst to his customer, he’d already planned for a short, short-time off. I can only hope that was his customer’s plan too. Because the fool still offed that boy. He woulda done just as well with offing Mr. Thighs To Dream For. Which reminds me . . .

9. When He’s Already Booked.
Call it punter’s ethics, but you really shouldn’t steal a bar boy away from another customer no matter how badly you want to do him. Unless you are into sharing and that other customer is hot too. You can call it karma, I prefer to think of it as sloppy seconds, which is an orgasm I prefer to not think of at all. There’s always mañana. And if it is your last night in town, there’s always another bar boy of your dreams just a door or two away. It may be that the two of you really were meant to be together, but more likely that he’s available to the highest bidder. And it’s a long walk back to your hotel, with opportunities abounding every step of the way.

Closely related are those who just got back to the bar from a booking. Popular bar boys can get offed several times a night. Good for them. Not so good for you. I call that the law of diminished returns. It’s a sexual Ponzi scheme where as the last up to the plate you get left standing with just your bat in your hands. The guy who goes last never finishes in first place. Make a note, show up early the next night, and get him while he’s still fresh instead.

Drinks and off fees are not cheap, wasting more money on a bad off is never the way to go.

Drinks and off fees are not cheap, wasting more money on a bad off is never the way to go.

10. When His Square Peg Doesn’t Fit Into Your Round Hole.

Quit acting like you have a vagina. He will always be himself, and nothing you can do will change that. Especially for 2,000 baht. The perfect bar boy for you is never the sum of his faults. And there are lots of bar boys to choose from. If you are not into tattoos, don’t off a guy who sports ink. If you hate people that smoke, take a whiff before you off him. Don’t just be a cunt and tell him he can’t smoke later ‘cuz his nicotine addiction means more than your orgasm does and he’ll quickly dispense with the latter so he can enjoy the former. Ditto for yaba, poppers, or any other addiction he may have.

If you are a dedicated bottom and he is too it ain’t gonna work. If you like masculine men and he slips on a blouse to accompany you back to your hotel, your better off apologizing, slipping him his tip, and heading into another bar for the man you wanted. If you had your heart set on waking up with him next to you in the morning and he says he only does short-time, go back to the drawing board. If you want to ravish his body and he says looking only, find a more suitable partner. If you need to top, and he tells you he is a man, there are lots of bottoms in the sea. Go check out Classic Boys.

Fantasize all you want. Pretend he’s your boyfriend, or that he loves, you, or that he thinks you are hansum. But be real in your expectations. And know what those expectations are. In real life you may settle for less than ideal, when you are a paying customer there is no good reason to. Go ahead, be picky. Find every fault that you can. ‘Cuz there is a bar boy perfect for you. But you’ll never find him when you agreed to off a guy you won’t be happy with instead.

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Getting Off By Being Offed

07 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

≈ 16 Comments

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Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

Yes, money can buy a happy penis, but a little tender loving care can buy an ecstatic one.

Yes, money can buy a happy penis, but a little tender loving care can buy an ecstatic one.

The last thing I think about when offing a bar boy in Bangkok is just what it is that resulted in him spending his nights sexually servicing complete strangers, often men he would not otherwise want to have anything to do with. Actually, that’s not the last thing I think of. I don’t consider it at all. Even dwelling on the question would put a dampener on the evening’s fun. If I did, I’d feel guilty about those circumstances and double or triple his tip. Or, if you are not a fan of the plight of the poor theory of working as a bar boy and prefer the thought that they do it because they are too lazy to get a real job, I’d be too busy planning on everything I was gonna make him do to make damn sure I got my money’s worth. Either way, contemplating motivation never mixes well with sex. That’s why the gods put your brain in the head that they did.

Having become friends with several bar boys over the years, I have had the opportunity of learning more about their lives and why they decided to make prostitution their career. Perhaps it’s not surprising that it’s always about the money. Those who I have become friends with turned to bar boy work because their options for employment were otherwise severely limited. Yes, some of them could have landed jobs as a clerk at a 7/11 – although I say ‘some’ because even entry-level jobs like convenience store or fast food counter help often entail education or skill requirements beyond their abilities or experience – but faced with the choice of the minimal take home pay from an eight to ten hour six days a week job compared to the chance of hitting it off with a rich farang because you were willing to get naked with him, I think I’d go with a life of blowing for dollars too.

None of the guys I’ve built a friendship with over the years are of the mercenary bar boy variety, the guys who are strictly in it for scamming every satang out of customers that they can. That’s not to say they don’t exists, just that there’s not much room for friendship in a relationship where your goal is depleting the other man’s bank account. And it’s not that those I have built a friendship with don’t know all those tricks too. They’ve just decided not to employ them. Or to only employ them with customers who, by their own actions, demand it. The prostitute with a heart of gold is undoubtedly as big of a fantasy in Thailand as it is in the Western world. But as in any other type of service industry, there are those who value giving and those who value taking. There are those who believe that providing good service is the surest way to just rewards, and those who believe that it is incumbent upon themselves to grab whatever they can as quickly as they can.

Some bar boys will promise you the moon, others will take you to heaven. This is Thailand. It's up to you.

Some bar boys will promise you the moon, others will take you to heaven. This is Thailand. It’s up to you.

Regardless of motivation or mode of operation, money plays the leading role. Because working as a bar boy is a job. And anywhere in the world, with any job someone takes, the basis is always the pay. For many employees the world over, cash is the only consideration. Whether you are selling sex or a Happy Meal, the reason for doing so is the same: the money you walk away with at the end of the day. But anywhere in the world and in every type of employment there are also those who love – or at least enjoy – the work they do and those who struggle to get out of bed and force themselves to show up for another day at work. Often working in the same job, side by side, at the same pay rate. And that goes for the boys in the bars of Bangkok too. The difference is the rewards that are not as tangible as cold hard cash. And while your wallet may not feel that difference, your heart does.

There have been numerous studies done on what motivates employees. Everyone assumes it’s cash – and it is – but surprisingly beyond a pay level that meets an employee’s basic needs, those intangibles mean more. Money really doesn’t buy happiness. It helps. But it is not the only consideration. And you can see the difference between a bar boy whose focus is on his customer’s enjoyment versus those who want to do as little as possible for as much baht as possible. Even when they themselves can’t articulate the difference.

The twist in the bar boy / customer paradigm is that the same can be said of the customer. Those who focus on the amount of cash their orgasm costs them – and what they get for that cash – seldom enjoy themselves as much as those who consider that money secondary. When the state of your penis’ happiness is at play, no one wants to stop and think about what motivates the guy you’re paying to make your best buddy happy. But maybe you should. Because there are orgasms and then there are orgasms. And just a bit of effort can mean the difference between a memorable night in the sack and landing yet another dud.

How happy of an ending you have may depend on how happy you make your boy du jour.

How happy of an ending you have may depend on how happy you make your boy du jour.

I’d like to tell you I know the secret to making every off you pay for in Thailand a successful one. ‘Cuz then I’d publish this blog on a paid subscription basis and get filthy rich off of your orgasms. But I can’t. Because I’ve had my share of duds too. Although possibly far fewer than you’ve experienced. The small number of bad offs that I have suffered through, after the fact, I’ve chalked up to letting my little head doing the thinking. There were enough warning signals that I shoulda known better. But my successful off batting average is high enough to earn me a spot in the Hall of Fame. And even those that didn’t end as happily as I may have wanted, I’ve often enjoyed just for the companionship of the bar boy I picked. So while I could scam you out of a buck or two for sharing my vast knowledge and experience, the fact is you already know the answer. Because what promises to ensure you get the most out of the interaction you have with a bar boy is no different than what motivates you in your own personal interactions with others.

As anti established religion as I am, most of the major faiths share a common tenet that holds true. In Christianity it reads ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. Uh, that’s about how you treat them, not how good of a blow job you give. Conversely, for the glass half full folks and those who often land a dud, there’s ‘You reap what you sow’. The positive aspects in your interactions with others, those things they do or say that make you feel good, are no different than what a bar boy will find attractive about you. Regardless of how unattractive you are. A bit of respect goes a long way. Flattery even further. Everyone (well, most of us) would prefer spending our time with someone who is fun to be around, with someone with a smile on his face rather than a dour look that broadcasts his widespread resentment in life. And never underrate the importance of status to a Thai. He gets his from yours. And you get yours from the pride you show in yourself. You may scoff at such basic measures, but they mean a lot in Thailand. And those are the things that really get a bar boy off when he’s being offed.

Empathy too matters. Especially for those frequent posters on the gay Thailand message boards who like to claim bar boys are nothing more than prostitutes and should be treated as such. “Don’t judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes” is a well-known adage that can be traced back to the Native American Cherokee tribe; Harper Lee rephrased that sentiment in To Kill A Mockingbird when she wrote, “You never really know a man until you understand things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” That doesn’t just mean you shouldn’t dismiss a bar boy’s emotional or social needs because of the work that he does, but that you should also consider how your actions impact his both status and his view of you as a customer. Which takes a bit more work. But it is well worth the effort.

Picking which bar boy to spend your time with shouldn't be your only consideration.

Picking which bar boy to spend your time with shouldn’t be your only consideration.

For example, there is currently a thread on one of the gay Thailand message boards about buying a drink at a gogo bar when you already know who you’ll off. In other words, you go to the bar having already picked out the guy you want to take off with the question being are you then obligated to buy a drink – which often serves as a cover charge – or can you just pay the off fee and skedaddle. I cringe whenever sexpats and sex tourists start talking about money on the boards. You’d think saving a buck was their main goal rather than the orgasm they traveled to Thailand in search of. Not surprisingly, everyone who contributed to this thread agreed that under those circumstances you should not have to pony up for the price of a drink; you are not there for the show, you don’t plan on being in the bar any longer than absolutely necessary, and often you may only be there to pay the off fee for a bar boy you already offed – it’s night #2 of your time with him, an unexpected pleasure, and you are only at the bar to pay his off fee again.

At first glance not buying a drink sounds perfectly reasonable. Although I’d question whether being reasonable or saving a few bucks is the motivation behind the act. Nonetheless, I can’t disagree. You are there only to hand over some cash, not to enjoy an evening at the bar. I’ve been in the same situation and arrived at the same conclusion. Primarily because I was thinking of it solely from my point of view. Fortunately the bar boy I was with was also a friend and felt comfortable enough in our relationship to point out what I’d missed.

Bar boys get tons of both status and good-will for bringing a customer back to his bar. The bar manager notices, appreciates the extra income, and will treat that boy accordingly. His barmates also take note of the ‘good’ customer he landed and his status among the group rises. Now you just have to decide which you value more: your $10 or the affect that money has on his self-esteem and the respect he gets from his employer and fellow employees.

Walking a mile in the other guy's shoes should be a part of your considerations, even when he's not wearing any.

Walking a mile in the other guy’s shoes should be a part of your considerations, even when he’s not wearing any.

Using the boards for advice back when I was a newbie, I learned that when you off a bar boy for a week or so it is not unreasonable to barter for a discount on the total of off fees you pay. The logic in that claim was based on two points: the basic idea that when you buy in bulk it should be cheaper, and that since bar boys are not slaves and get one day off per week, you shouldn’t have to pay an off fee for his day off. I dismissed the former. Bartering for off fees or tips based on the idea that you are owed a discount, or that neither the boy or the bar would otherwise get seven days worth of pay, is just plain cheapskate thinking. The little bit of money you save will cost you much more in the long run. But the latter made sense. Why should I pay a bar an off fee to cover a night when the boy would not be working at that bar anyway?

In this case it was a bar owner who provided me with the glimpse into the bar boy’s side of the equation. And again, it had not been a viewpoint I’d considered myself. Despite what we may think, a week in Phuket, for example, is not the jolly holiday for a bar boy that it would appear to be. It’s a stressful seven days of being away from his friends and family, spending 24 hours a day trying to take care of you, his customer. By paying that ‘extra’ day’s off fee, when he gets back to Bangkok he gets a free night off. Otherwise he ‘used’ his regular day off on your trip. And has to go right back to work again. That may matter little to you, but matters greatly to him.

It’s easy to think of the guys who work in the bars as sex objects because it is because of sex that we meet them. But they are human beings too and have the same emotional needs as everyone else. Even those who have become hardened from the years they’ve spent working in the bars. It’s amazing how something as simple as stopping on the way back to your hotel so he can have something to eat – that’d be food he is used to and enjoys – can make or break your night together. That’s the kind of thing that costs you little but can pay off big time. ‘Cuz a happy bar boy invariably leads to a happy ending. And he might even surprise you and not ask you for taxi money at the end of your time together.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:
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The XXX Games: Naked Olympic Athletes Celebrate The London Games

Gay of the Week: Channing Tatum (and his penis)

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First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars

First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok: Part II - Pratunam Market

Sex In The Locker Room: A Not So Straight Man’s Fanttasy

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Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Buddhism

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Sawatdee and welcome to the new and improved Bangkokbois Gay Thailand Blog! Okay, so it’s not necessarily improved, just hosted on a new site. And it’s not just about Thailand, though that still is the main focus. And it’s not all gay either, unless you’re not and then you’ll think it’s pretty damn gay I’m sure. All of the penis might tip you off. Which means if you are not of the required legal age to be looking at penis other than your own, you should leave. And go tell your parental units they suck at their job.

But it is a blog and one out of three ain’t bad. Besides, Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand Blog For People Of Legal Age is just too wordy. But so is Dancing With The Devil In The City Of Angels, which is really the title of this blog.

As cool of a title as that is, Google just ain’t sharp enough to figure out that means this blog is mostly about Thailand. And pretty damn gay to boot. The penis part even Google figured out. Which is a good thing. ‘Cuz Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand With Lots Of Penis Blog For People Of Legal Age, I think, was taken by someone else.

Move along, there’s nothing to see here folks; pay no attention to that man behind the curtain:

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