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…dancing with the devil in the city of angels…

~ Ramblings, Rumblings and Travel Tales: Bangkok and Beyond

…dancing with the devil in the city of angels…

Monthly Archives: March 2014

Love Among The Arun

31 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Tips

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Bangkok, Hotels and Restaurants

Wat Arun is one of Bangkok’s most iconic images. This is as close as you should ever get.

Wat Arun is one of Bangkok’s most iconic images. This is as close as you should ever get.

Man can not live on penis alone is, I’m fairly certain, how that old adage goes. Not that many gay visitors to Bangkok don’t try to prove it false. But even the most devoted sex tourist has to come up for air occasionally, and turning to a different forms of sustenance when you do is often the second most popular tourist pastime. Quickly grabbing a bite to eat from the nearest street food cart so that you can get back to doing what really matters is the answer for some. An equally quick meal under the golden arches does it for others. Sitting down at a table for an actual meal may not be the most popular choice when sex is on your mind, but the perfect romantic setting can make Round #2 – or Round #8 as the case may be – just all that more enjoyable and fulfilling. Your boy du jour did, after all, tell you that he lubs you. And the quickest way to a bar boy’s heart is through his stomach. As long as your wallet participates in that experience.

Other than previously noting that some of the best photos you can take of Wat Arun is when motoring past on one of the Chao Phraya river boats, I haven’t written much about what is one of the more heavily visited temples in Bangkok. It is one of the city’s more identifiable and iconic structures. And it, along with the near-by Grand Palace and Wat Pho routinely make it to travel writers’ Must-Do Bangkok experiences. Which, as you may well have guessed, means it is not on my list of recommendations of the top places to visit in the Big Mango. But that doesn’t mean I think it should be completely avoided. The magnificence of the wat is worthy of your time. Just not in actually visiting the place.

The area around the Grand Palace is undoubtedly one of Bangkok’s most heavily touristed neighborhoods. With the grandeur of the palace, Wat Pho’s Reclining Buddha, Wat Mahathat, and the amulet market all competing for attention, hordes of farang faces fill the area in hectic pursuit of the city’s sites. It’s a scrum of nationalities all pushing and shoving to get to whichever is next on their list, within the limited time their holiday schedule allows. Which means there is limited time for just sitting and soaking up the atmosphere of Bangkok’s most historical district. But then the average touri winningly trades in history for hysteria, and when the latest boatload of pale farang faces shoves off from Ta Chang Pier, the momentary lull that descends along Maharat Road reminds those still remaining what is truly important in visiting a foreign land: doing absolutely nothing. And enjoying every minute of it.

Love Among The Arun 2

If it wasn’t that eating goes so well with sitting, and drinking is the trifecta’s cherry on top, the only choice for dining riverside in the Grand Palace area would be the market at Ta Chang pier. Culinary choices abound, you can snack on a variety of quick treats, or have a full meal – or both. For a newbie to Bangkok this is a perfect place to be introduced to street cart food. And it’s cheap. As a dining locale, however, the market leaves something to be desired: seating.

There are a few small nooks stuck away inside the pier’s ancient wooden structure where you can find a table with bench seating, but the view is only of the crowds of touri shuffling by, and the air don’t circulate as much as it does oppress, perfectly defining the phrase hole-in-the wall (assuming ‘hole-in-the-wall’ always comes with scurrying cockroaches). Dining at the Ta Chang market isn’t so much about wondrous views of the Temple of the Dawn a it is about soaking in an ambiance worthy of The Dawn of the Dead. But just up the road you can go upscale and The Deck – part of the exclusive 7-room Arun Residence boutique hotel – has been providing the perfect Wat Arun sight-seeing experience for decades.

Located directly across the Chao Phraya from the fabled wat, The Deck is both an indoor and outdoor restaurant, offering a menu of European and Thai fusion dishes at, unfortunately, Western prices. But you get what you pay for, and part of what you are paying for at The Deck is a postcard-perfect view of the Ratanakosin skyline while dining, or drinking, at an historic riverside Sino-Portuguese, 17th century ‘Bangkok Period’ residence. It’s a cozy, romantic setting cooled by river breezes with the famous silhouette of Wat Arun as a backdrop. And the food presentation is equally as stunning.

Love Among The Arun 3

Divided into three levels, the 80-seat restaurant and bar is popular enough that you need to arrive early for prime viewing seats if sunsets are your thing. But then it’s not as packed, nor do you have to dress up, as when taking in the setting sun at the Sky Bar at LeBua either. On the downside, the restaurant’s riverside frontage is narrow so most views of the river are from along the side of the dining area if you don’t manage to snag a good table. And the up close and personal views of the Express Boats often block the view of Wat Arun from the lower floors.

The Deck’s first floor offers an al fresco dining area set on the restaurant’s wooden verandah with only a couple of tables that are well-spaced from each other. Up a spiral staircase, on the second floor is the restaurant’s main dining area, offering inside, air-conditioned seating able to accommodate a large dining crowd, which while spacious for what is still a small area also means the establishment’s cosmopolitan charm suffers somewhat. The Deck’s Amorosa Bar is on the third level – you need to climb up a flight of metal steps to reach it – but it is here that the view really shines.

Within the bar, there are only five or six tables that offer a direct view of Wat Arun. And Amorosa only offers finger food and drinks. But it’s a perfect spot to enjoy doing nothing, where you can find a cozy corner to chill out with friends while enjoying a world-class view. And even its simple fare takes on exotic flavors; its Thai version of nachos alone are worthy of a visit. (Note that the third floor bar is only open to those not staying at the Arun Residence from (around) 5:30 p.m. on).

Love Among The Arun 4

Back down on the lower levels fusion is the name of the game with Asian influences spicing up what would normally be considered European dishes. The menu offers a range of pasta creations featuring seafood such as prawns, scallops, and frog legs, and while these days it seems I’m putting my citizenship as an American at risk by not being a fan of bacon, The Deck’s spaghetti with garlic and bacon is to die for. I’ve yet to be disappointed with anything I’ve ordered at The Deck, but admittedly, the portions are small. On the plus side, that means you’ll have plenty of room left to sample some of their outstanding desserts. Their roasted banana in peanut butter sauce with ice cream is a crowd favorite, the mille feuille with fresh strawberries and marscarpone cheese mousse looks almost too good to eat, and the tiramisu & panacotta is guaranteed to give you a chub.

Thai dishes tend to run in the 80 to 250 baht range, main courses of European flavors are slightly higher at 250 to 700 baht. Without alcohol – as if – you can expect to pay around 1,000 baht per person. I’ve never tried their lunch menu, served from 11.30 – 2.30, but have dropped in (once) for breakfast and if you are looking for a cup of caffeine the way the gods intended it to be made you can’t do much better. And then after your morning meal you can walk across the street to Wat Pho and thank Buddha for the excellent start to your day.

Open from 8am to 10pm Wednesdays through Thursdays, and from 8am to 11pm on weekends, reservations aren’t a bad idea, but you still need to get there early for the best seating at dinner/sunset time.

Love Among The Arun 5

The Deck’s setting and menu is not your typical Bangkok dining experience, it’s more of a Mediterranean waterfront cafe type of affair. But with the Temple of the Dawn glowing in the background and a hot Thai hunk sharing your meal it make for a perfect romantic setting you’ll love to enjoy before getting back to what really matters: making arun of that poor boy’s body.

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Chicken

Chicken

Monday Meat #8

31 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Monday Meat

≈ 4 Comments

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Nude Dudes

naked asian dude

Not sure if it’s his tat or cock that looks the more dangerous.

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Sunday Funnies #71

30 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Sunday Funnies

≈ 4 Comments

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Gay Thailand Forums

Apologies. My bad. I’ve been remiss in posting Sunday Funnies over the last few weeks. But I’m making up for that today with not just one but two comics. Now do you still lub me?

life's a beach #82

life's a beach #83

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Selfies Sunday #8

30 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil

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Nude Dudes

selfies sunday #43

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End Of The Week #135

29 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in End of the Week

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And More!, Nude Dudes

nude male ass

Finally, my obsession with saffron is explained.

ho lee chit Bangkok 1st Time is a just under five minute video that covers everything a newbie ever needs to know about Thailand. Which would be how to swear like a Thai.

fly me If you are flying Malaysia Airlines, #14 would be where your plane will be landing; here are the other 13+ Things Your Pilot Won’t Tell You.

risky management Condoms, check. Lube, check. Reservation at a cheap guesthouse close to Sunee Plaza, check. You may think you’re all set for your annual holiday in Thailand, but you may want to pick up a few pair of Undz too. ‘Cuz these male briefs come with $50,000 worth of penis insurance.

sign of the easy Do you know which zodiac sign is most likely to make a sex tape? The good news is I now have plans for the weekend ‘cuz that’s Phil’s sign.

gay whisperer Shit Straight Guys Say To Gay Guys. (Besides, “Please be gentle.”)

J’aime Asian Men Because hot Asian guys are NSFW in any language, this week’s Tumblr link is J’aime Asian Men even if most of the pix are more SFW than not.

blessed Sounds like a coupling worthy of Match.com to me: To go with the guy with two penises on Redit I linked to a few week ago, here’s one who carries a spare testicle. I know. But I dare you not to look.

Amphetamine Last week I started a new recurring item for my End of The Week posts, links to trailers and/or scene from possibly lesser known gay Asian movies (um, not porn). This week’s film is Amphetamine from Hong Kong which the censors had a problem with over its graphic anal sex scenes. The flick features full-frontal male nudity too, so maybe it’s a little bit of porn. It tells the story of a young openly gay banker, Daniel, who debates whether to return to Australia or stay in Hong Kong when he meets Kafka, a straight swimming instructor. The young men fall in love, believing that their love can bridge anything, despite their difference in sexuality and Kafka’s increasing drug use. To wet your appetite, here are two links to video clips: A hot musical ‘interlude’ of the two’s romance that runs just short of three minutes; and, a kissing scene between stars Byron Pang Koon Kei and Thomas Price. With Google’s help you can find the full flick with English subtitles available for download.

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Tinglish For Sex Tourists (AKA Shit Pattaya Sexpats Say To Each Other)

28 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Gay Thailand Sexpats & Addicts

≈ 13 Comments

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Gay Thailand

Welcome To Thailand. By which we mean Pattaya. By which we mean Sunee Plaza.

Welcome To Thailand. By which we mean Pattaya. By which we mean Sunee Plaza.

Newbies trying to make heads and tails out of the alphabet soup of local words and place names in Thailand, and the localized lingo used by long-time visitors and expats for their favorite pastime of molesting the tails and heads of locals, have it rough. There’s proper Thai and Thai slang in use, and proper and slang English from a few different native English speaking countries whose language barely resembles each others. Then there’s the slang expats use that means something entirely different in Thailand than anywhere else in the world. And just when they think they’ve caught the gist of a conversation, someone throws in a handful of acronyms that mean nothing outside of Thailand. It makes holding a conversation difficult for newbies, and offers numerous opportunities for communicating something other than what they meant.

That alone would be bad enough, but then along come the gay sex touri and sexpats who have a language all their own. And once you move south into the land of Pattaya, you can’t tell if that’s English they’re speaking, or if it’s just their bottle of gin doing the talking. To help newbies better understand the babble of Pattaya’s fans, here’s a glossary of useful word and phrases and what they really mean:

Thailand: An approximately 8.571 sq mile area just southeast of Bangkok, that everyone else calls Pattaya. At least when they are being nice. Shitsville, Sin City, and The Cesspool By The Sea all work just as well.

Patts: A nickname for Pattaya used by those in-the-know because they are too drunk to pronounce the town’s full name.

Pattaya: The destination in Thailand Boo Hoo is too ashamed to admit to immigration officials that he’s visiting. Also the name used by sexpats for Sunee Plaza, ‘cuz that’s all that really matters.

Bangkok: The city where the airport you use to get to Patts is, of little to no interest to a true sexpats other than for a quick stop-over visit every few years so you can bitch about how expensive the cost of an orgasm on Soi Twilight is.

Phuket: An over-priced tropical Pattaya wannabe down south filled with scam artists and a damn good chance of your being raped and killed. Also known as the beach destination in Thailand those who have a modicum of self-respect visit instead of Patts.

Chiang Mai: A town somewhere up north where a few misguided expats have chosen to live, hardly worth the bus fare as all of the gogo bars and saunas are too spread out and inconvenient to find. Although an occasional photo of a young local lad posted on one of the gay Thailand forums makes sexpats consider a visit may be in order. Until their next shot of gin arrives and reminds them why Patts is all you really need.

Hong Nam: The name of the beach in Pattaya.

Hong Nam: The name of the beach in Pattaya.

Boyfriend: Any Thai lad who’ve you paid to have sex with you more than twice.

Boy Special: Any Thai lad who’ve you paid to have sex with you more than twice, but of whom you are also fond. Because he pretends to be fond of you.

Boy: Any Thai lad who you can pay to have sex with you or who you will be able to pay to have sex with you as soon as he reaches puberty.

Young Boy: Any Thai lad who you can pay to have sex with you while you wait for him to reach puberty.

Money Boy: Any Thai lad who you can pay to have sex with you but who’ll you bitch about later because he took your money to have sex with him.

Customer: (See Boyfriend.)

Walking ATM: The affectionate phrase used by the boys of Pattaya for farang. (See Boyfriend.)

Stunner: A young, malnourished street urchin who on a score of 1 to 10 for looks would rate a -6 but is considered prime beef in Sunee Plaza because he’s of legal age even though he looks to be only 14.

Dud: A moneyboy you’ve paid to have sex with you but who was unable to help you achieve orgasm even though you took a little blue pill.

Scammer: A moneyboy you’ve paid to have sex with you but who didn’t want to bother to help you achieve orgasm because he knew it’d take more than a little blue pill to manage that feat.

Scam: The marketing campaign from the company that makes those little blue pills.

Little Blue Pill: A generic term used for Viagra, an EDS medication that sexpats are too cheap to buy and instead purchase inexpensive knock-off versions from India so they can bitch about what a scam Viagra is.

Yaba: A from of methamphetamine popular in Thailand among money boys that helps them forget what they are expected to do with customers who take little blue pills.

Pattaya Floating Market: The local’s phrase for a sexpat enjoying the beach in Pattaya.

Pattaya Floating Market: The local’s phrase for a sexpat enjoying the beach in Pattaya.

Hansum Man: A phrase used by bar boys to help snare customers that every sexpat knows is a lie. Unless the bar boy is your boyfriend. Then its the truth. Because he’s different. (See Boy Special.)

Jai Dee: A Thai phrase meaning ‘good heart’ which in bar boy speak means ‘sucker’. Unless the bar boy is your boyfriend. Then it’s the truth. Because he’s different. (See Boyfriend.)

Flying Farang: A sexpat who discovered his Boy Special actually wasn’t different

Pedophile: The improper term used by rude people who just don’t understand pederasty.

PLU: An acronym for People Like Us, used by the general gay community to mean other homosexuals, and used in Pattaya to mean fellow sexpats. (See Pedophile.)

Pattaya Street Kids Support Project : One of several Pattaya-based charities that sexpats and sex touri donate to because they are jai dee and care about the plight of Pattaya’s street kids. And they let you ‘sponsor’ your very own child. (See Young Boy.)

Pattaya’s Street Kids: One of the numerous children who hang out around Sunee Plaza until they are old enough to work in Sunee Plaza. (See Money Boy)

Take Care: A Pattaya-based charity promoting safe sex that sexpats and sex touri donate to because they are jai dee and care about the plight of their boyfriend’s penis.

Safe Sex: The free condoms and lube suppled by Take Care.

Love: The Thai word for baht.

Love: The Thai word for baht.

Gay Friendly: Usually used in discussions about hotels to mean an establishment that allows you to bring a prostitute back to your room, it is also sometimes used in discussion of areas of SE Asia where local practice allows (or disallows) you to bring a prostitute back to your hotel room.

Guest House: A Gay Friendly establishment where a retired sexpat and his Boy Special offer cheap, down-market accommodations to sex tourists.

Fine Dining: Any restaurant in Pattaya that offers canned pork and beans on its menu.

Brothel: (See Bar.)

Bar: A small, dingy establishment that sells cheap booze as a disguise for its true purpose. (See Brothel.)

Off Fee: Also known as a bar fine, this is the fee charged by bars to take an employee back to your hotel room. (See Scam.)

Bar Owner: The idiot who you expect to warmly greet you by name and immediately respond to your every complaint, and/or bit of business advice, because you drink a 49 baht beer at his establishment at least once a month.

Mamasan: A local that bar owners hire to run interference so they do not have to deal with customers who expect to be warmly greeted by name and be immediately responded to for every complaint, or bit of business advice, they make because they drink a 49 baht beer at the establishment at least once a month.

Ladyboy: A derisive term used by sexpats for their young, effeminate boyfriend who they just dumped because, surprise, he started wearing makeup. (Although usually the farang’s disgruntlement  is actually over the cost of the sex-change operation his boyfriend thought he should pay for.)

Ladyboy: A derisive term used by sexpats for their young, effeminate boyfriend who they just dumped because, surprise, he started wearing makeup. (Although usually the farang’s disgruntlement is actually over the cost of the sex-change operation his boyfriend thought he should pay for.)

Sunee Plaza: A dirty, down-market area of Pattaya catering to elderly farang sex touri looking for their next Thai boyfriend. Also known among sex tourists as heaven.

The Beach: A stretch of dirty sand alongside Pattaya’s polluted waters where sexpats hang out and procure the services of moneyboys while waiting for the bars in Sunee Plaza to open.

Hong Nam: The Thai word for toilet. Also a place where sexpats hang out and procure the services of moneyboys while waiting for the bars in Sunee Plaza to open.

Royal Garden Shopping Centre: A shopping mall in Pattaya where sexpats hang out and procure the services of moneyboys while waiting for the bars in Sunee Plaza to open. (See Hong Nam.)

Central Festival: A shopping mall in Pattaya where sexpats hang out and procure the services of moneyboys who are not their boyfriend while waiting for the bars in Sunee Plaza to open.

Thai Massage: The service offered by any one of numerous massage shops in Pattaya where sexpats hang out and procure the services of moneyboys while waiting for the bars in Sunee Plaza to open. (See Happy Ending.)

Happy Ending: In Bangkok a happy ending is the orgasm you enjoy at the end of a massage. In Pattaya it is the orgasm you did not manage to achieve at the end of a massage, but are just as happy with because now you can bitch to your fellow sexpats about the crappy experience you had. (See Dud)

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Aloha Friday #7

28 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Aloha Friday

≈ 4 Comments

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Nude Dudes

naked asian island dude

Because beefy boys need to be ogled too.

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7 Shots: Of Shade

27 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in 7 Shots

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Bangkok, Cambodia, Chiang Mai, Luang Prabang, Malaysia & Indonesia & Singapore, Photography

shade 1

I’m beginning to think that salty old cuss I met in Penang who represented himself as a professional photographer was less of a camera buff and more of a mind-fucker extraordinaire. His advice that all one needed to take were seven shots of . . . well, he never quite qualified that little detail. But he was adamant about the quantity. That seemed too restrictive of a rule to me then, and it still does today. But it still sticks in my mind. The bastard. There’s a good reason your mother told you to never talk to strangers.

shade 2

My 7 Shots series of posts was supposed to pay homage to that ideal. And provide me with an excuse to post some of my travel shots. Not to mention make for a quick and easy article. Today’s started off being a selection of photos from my (far too many) visits to the Umbrella Village in Chiang Mai. A major part of any Handcraft Tour, it’s one of those things you are supposed to do as a touri there. Kinda liked visiting an elephant camp and taking a ride. Neither quite measures up to the hype. But both provide lots of good photo ops. I probably should have gone with the elephants.

shade 3

One thing leads to another and the umbrella idea quickly turned into tons of photos from SE Asia, all featuring an umbrella. Mad dogs and Englishman aside, I never considered how ubiquitous umbrellas are in the region. Even when it is not the rainy season. Photography-wise, I have enough shots to do seven posts of umbrellas alone. Which you probably should take as a warning.

shade 4

Today’s ended up with a photo from Chiang Mai, Bangkok, Bali, Phnom Penh, Angkor Wat, and Luang Prabang (in that order if ya needed to know). If that bastard had allowed for eight, there’d be one from Phuket too. But hey, I’ve got at least six more 7 Shots posts to go. So stay tuned.

shade 5

Now if I can just find an Ubiquitous Plastic Stool Shot! with an umbrella in it my life will be complete. Throw in a monk and I’d never have to post under this heading again.

shade 6

shade 7

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Sawatdee and welcome to the new and improved Bangkokbois Gay Thailand Blog! Okay, so it’s not necessarily improved, just hosted on a new site. And it’s not just about Thailand, though that still is the main focus. And it’s not all gay either, unless you’re not and then you’ll think it’s pretty damn gay I’m sure. All of the penis might tip you off. Which means if you are not of the required legal age to be looking at penis other than your own, you should leave. And go tell your parental units they suck at their job.

But it is a blog and one out of three ain’t bad. Besides, Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand Blog For People Of Legal Age is just too wordy. But so is Dancing With The Devil In The City Of Angels, which is really the title of this blog.

As cool of a title as that is, Google just ain’t sharp enough to figure out that means this blog is mostly about Thailand. And pretty damn gay to boot. The penis part even Google figured out. Which is a good thing. ‘Cuz Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand With Lots Of Penis Blog For People Of Legal Age, I think, was taken by someone else.

Move along, there’s nothing to see here folks; pay no attention to that man behind the curtain:

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