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~ Ramblings, Rumblings and Travel Tales: Bangkok and Beyond

…dancing with the devil in the city of angels…

Category Archives: First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok

Posts about Bangkok’s most popular shopping malls.

First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok: The Platinum Fashion Maul

20 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok, Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Bangkok, Markets & Shopping

Platinum Fashion Mall is a top choice in  Bangkok for shopaholics, divas, tourists, and bargain hunters alike.

Platinum Fashion Mall is a top choice in Bangkok for shopaholics, divas, tourists, and bargain hunters alike.

Fans of Platinum Fashion Mall in Bangkok will all agree that as popular as Pratunam is as a shopping district, it is not for the fainthearted. Massive crowds, pushy pedestrians, parking lot-like traffic, motorcycles using the sidewalk as a dedicated traffic lane, and Bangkok’s sweltering heat combine to make it an unappealing area to anyone who is not a diehard shopaholic. And that’s just during the week. Come Saturday afternoon it can be too much even for those born to shop.

But the deals to be had, especially on clothing, are a Mecca to bargain hunters, both touri and what often seems to be half of Bangkok’s population alike. Experienced visitors know you can go mano y mano with the shop dealers who line the narrow, stifling aisles of the Pratunam Market if you prefer a little sweat with your shopping (okay, lots of sweat). Or you can step into the air conditioned not quite as sardines-in-a-can-like aisles of Platinum Fashion Mall. You may pay a bit for the comfort, but prices are so low anyway it may well be worth the financial sacrifice.

I’ve always wondered if Platinum was purposely named, or if it was a case of Pratunam being lost in translation into English. Grab a taxi to either and no matter how carefully you enunciate your intended destination there’s a good chance you’ll end up at the other. But then that has more to do with traffic than it does with your accent. And since the two are but a block – and a death-defying crossing of a street – away, it doesn’t really matter. You may even decide to take a local’s approach to life and just shop where you land. If you have good karma, that’ll be at Platinum.

Thai sign makers are as skilled at their trade as Thai map makers are. At Platinum they are useful for resting your elbow on. That’s about it.

Thai sign makers are as skilled at their trade as Thai map makers are. At Platinum they are useful for resting your elbow on. That’s about it.

Platinum Fashion Mall is like an indoor version of the Chatuchak Weekend Market. While it specializes in wholesale fashion clothing and accessories, with six floors of shopping space you’ll find someone selling just about whatever it is your heart desires. That is provided you can find them. Because Platinum too shares that characteristic with the Weekend Market. It is confusing as all hell. Despite each floor supposedly being devoted to a specific genre of merchandise. Thais aren’t big on following rules, and a floor devoted to a specific type of consumer goods is just a bit too close to sounding like a rule. Therefor it’s best to just ignore it. You’re better off browsing anyway. Whatever it was you were looking for is probably in the other building in the first place.

Thai aren’t big on reading maps either, no more so than women are. Or at least they are not big on the skill that entails. Which may explain why the mall is laid out in zones. Because while that would normally confuse the issue, for the already flummoxed it has zero effect. And for the small population of farang men in the mall, it levels the playing filed allowing them to feel just as lost and helpless as the rest of the crowd. Whoda thought shopping would provide you with a glimpse into the Thai collectivism culture where it’s all for one and one for all?

Fashion fit for a diva. Or your inner queen.

Fashion fit for a diva. Or your inner queen.

Fortunately, stumbling over a real bargain is the rule rather than exception at Platinum. And that’s a rule everyone can get behind. Primarily a wholesale market like the open-air Pratunam Market across the street, with very little effort you can walk away with a great deal. The trick is to buy in quantity. And since a quantity of 3 will usually land you the wholesale price, that’s not a difficult thing to do. Most of the stores are more stall than store and none carry what could be called an extensive selection of merchandise. But there’s always enough available to easily pick out three items – they do not have to be the exact same item to qualify as a bulk purchase. And when you can pick up a pair of jeans, cammies, or cargo pants for $15, why wouldn’t you stock up on a few pair?

The selection at Platinum is overwhelmingly geared toward women, but there are plenty of places selling clothing for men too. Many are small local designers; you can find some truly cool T-shirts that may cost you a bit more than the knock-offs available at street markets but which will not have some large corporation’s logo emblazoned across the chest either. There are even high-quality 100% cotton Ts without graphics, suitable for those who realize they are too old to be strolling around in Hollister’s or Aeropostale’s advertising. And if you want to upgrade to clubwear, you’ll find a nice range of duds that’ll keep you from looking like a dud. Or a dude. Or a rube.

With an average of just under 400 shops per floor, keeping an eye on the escalators can help keep you from getting lost. But you will get lost anyway.

With an average of just under 400 shops per floor, keeping an eye on the escalators can help keep you from getting lost. But you will get lost anyway.

You can of course find many of the same lines of clothing at MBK, a more manageable and traditional shopping mall popular with tourists and locals just a few minutes away. But the majority of small shops and stalls at MBK buy their merchandise from Platinum; come early and you can watch local divas in high heels manhandle massive bags filled with clothing down the aisles and out to the street to a waiting taxi. Not that you’ll realize the same prices they do, but you will avoid much of their mark-up by shopping at the source. Just like they do.

I’m always hard pressed to decide at what point during a trip to make a pilgrimage to Platinum. Especially when I have first-time visitors with me. On one hand it’s good to sneak a visit in early, before everyone blows their money elsewhere, paying a higher price for what they could get at Platinum. Which tends to piss some folk off. On the other hand, it’s good to make the trek to Platinum later during a trip when everyone is totally fed up with having to haggle over the price of every damn thing they want to buy. Negotiating is not necessary at Platinum. There’s the retail price, the wholesale price, and the give me a dozen price. And the store clerks will volunteer the discounted prices without you saying a word. The only problem with the first choice is that invariably means another visit before everyone hops back on the plane. And that’s more dangerous to your wallet than being tagged as jai dee by your boy du jour.

Graphic design work is prized more highly than corporate logos are by store owners @ Platinum.

Graphic design work is prized more highly than corporate logos are by store owners @ Platinum.

You may as well go ahead and leave home without it when it comes to credit cards though, cash is the name of the game at Platinum. And if you do find a stall that takes plastic, expect to pay a 3% surcharge for using your card. Many of the stores do not have a dressing room, most will walk you to the closest store that does. Even if that is nothing more than a small corner you’ll barely fit into with a curtain that may or may not provide you with a sense of privacy. Guys, who seldom try on clothes assuming they know what size they need, should exercise caution. A ‘L’ can be anything from a ‘S’ to a ‘M’. Though I do recall one vendor proudly telling me her L would fit because it was “America Size”. Which meant twice the size any other nationality would need for a comfortable, loose fit. (But she was right.)

Luggage – in case you buy more than what will fit in your suitcases – souvenirs, knickknacks, bedding and sheets, bags that work great for your camera or as a day pack, and lots and lots of silk are all available at Platinum too. What you won’t find are computers, electronics, or porn dvds. Those you’ll have to go next door to Pantip Plaza for. This being Thailand, you’ll find plenty of knock-offs and counterfeit goods at both malls.

With hours and hours of shopping on your agenda, you will need sustenance and Platinum Fashion Mall has you covered with that ever popular shopping mall standard, a food court. Platinum’s – often overflowing with hungry humanity – has 28 different booths offering a wide variety of mostly Thai and Asian food at low, low prices. It’s on the top floor. Platinum also has some of the standard American fast food joints splashed across the front of the mall (KFC is well represented, but I’m hoping your taste in food is better or at least as good as your taste in clothing).

You won’t be able to read Kaiton Kao Mun’s sign, so I thought I’d throw you a bone and show you what the place looks like. And you might want to try their chicken bone soup while you are there.

You won’t be able to read Kaiton Kao Mun’s sign, so I thought I’d throw you a bone and show you what the place looks like. And you might want to try their chicken bone soup while you are there.

A better choice to satisfy your hunger pains is across the street near the corner of Soi 30 where you’ll find one of the city’s best and most popular, chicken and rice stalls/restaurants. Kaiton Kao Mun has been around for 40 years. Affectionately known as the pink shirt chicken rice place, it draws huge crowds from early in the morning into the late afternoon. And then again all night long (Um, it’s closed from around 3 pm to around 5 pm). There is an imitator – because there always is in Bangkok – just a few yards away, but they wear green shirts. It’s one of those local places where you’ll just have to point at what you want, but everything on the menu is top-rate and unlike at KFC it’s all real chicken. And lunch will run you around 80 baht. Just look for the crowds. Or follow your nose.

Many recommend an early visit to Platinum to avoid some of the crowd. The mall opens at 8:00 am on Wednesdays and weekends, at 9:00 am on the other days. But that too is a suggestion rather than a fixed rule and many of the shops don’t open their doors until 10. Or later. Ditto for the other end of the work day. The mall officially closes at 10:00 pm, but you’ll be lucky to find anything other than the KFC open after 9. Or 8. You can also scope out your plan of attack by visiting the mall’s website, most of its 2,228 stores are listed and have pictures on-line of the type of merchandise they carry. The only danger in visiting their website first is it is almost as much of an ordeal as hitting the actual mall – you may have little energy left to do your shopping in person.

The crowds are fierce at Platinum Fashion Mall, even at 10:00 in the morning.

The crowds are fierce at Platinum Fashion Mall, even at 10:00 in the morning.

Getting to Platinum Fashion Mall is easy. Take a taxi from your hotel, or take the BTS to Chitlom Station and a taxi or tuk tuk from there. Due to the 24/7 gridlock, don’t be surprised if your taxi driver demands a fixed fare. Fortunately when your shopping jones has been sated and you are laden with bags full of all the hot deals you found, there is an amazingly organized taxi queue in front of the mall. Wait your turn, hop in, and tell the driver to take you to the nearest massage spa. You’ll need it.

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First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok: Porn, Piracy, And PCs At Pantip Plaza

04 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by Bangkokbois in First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok, Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Markets & Shopping

Pantip Plaza in Bangkok is a geek’s wet dream brought to life.

Pantip Plaza in Bangkok is a geek’s wet dream brought to life.

Windows 8 recently debuted and I thought I should stop by my local geek toy shop and check it out. It’s been ages since Bill Gates thought he should update his software for a reason other than lapses in security and as not-innovative as his company is, a major reworking of one of the most used computer program platforms was worth taking a look. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s Windows for iPhone 1.0. We now have apps instead of programs, pictures instead of file names, and your fingers are supposed to interact with the screen more than they do with the keyboard.

Granted, I’m still bemoaning the fact they replaced the C: prompt with a graphical based screen decades ago, but it seems to me Bill has sold out to the games/social media/surfing for porn crowd while ignoring the needs of those of us who still use those letter thingys on the keyboard. It’s nice that today’s computers have the computing capacity of yesterday’s Cray computers, but is that really necessary when all you do is surf for pictures of cute kittens?

Of course since geek blood runs through my veins my go-see-what-Windows 8-is-all-about trip turned into buying another new lap top. I really didn’t need a new one even though the ‘a’ and ‘h’ keys on my old keyboard are just big black empty spots. There was probably a more economical fix to that little problem than dropping three grand on a new computer. But I have poor impulse control, and seeing Sony’s latest Vaio in person affects me in the same way as seeing a hot new muscle stud at Tawan. I just gotta have it. The only difference between the two is that with a bar boy I at least take a few minutes to do due diligence before making a buy.

Crammed full of people and goods, anything and everything electronic is available at Pantip.

Crammed full of people and goods, anything and everything electronic is available at Pantip.

Whodathunk that in giving in to the kitty surfers Bill would have not bothered to support Adobe software? I mean it’s Adobe, not some little software company no one ever heard of. But Bill decided that Windows 8 users have no need for Photoshop. You can not load it to a computer running Windows 8. And if you can’t use Photoshop, you sure in the hell can’t use PageMaker either. Coming from a publishing background, I use PageMaker as my wordprocessing program of choice. Or at least I used to. It’s enough to make a grown man cry. Or go surfing for cute kitty pictures. Or if you are in Bangkok, go cruising for some pirated software at Pantip Plaza to make your world whole again.

Pantip Plaza is Thailand’s version of an XXX adult book store for the geek set. And since we are talking Bangkok, there’s plenty of XXX related merchandise there too. The multi-storied mall on New Petchaburi Road is packed full of every type of electronic gadget you can imagine, and then some. Computers and software reign supreme, with most of the former being the real deal and all of the later being pirated programs filled with every computer virus known to man. There are cell phones by the millions, cameras for the novice and professional photographer alike, electronic toys and gadgets to warm the heart of the child in all of us, iPods, iPads, and iWhatevers, both genuine and fake, and anything and everything else that you can think of that either plugs in or runs off of 4 AAA batteries (which of course are not included).

Visiting Pantip can be a trying experience; the crowd is a nasty combination of Asians to whom personal space is as foreign of an idea as is living on a dark star, techies whose social skills come from a black hole, and aggressive touts pushing porn in your face featuring dismal creatures who will never make it to porn star status. It’s like strolling through the Patpong Night Market except it’s indoors and smells worse. But unlike at Patpong, there are deals to be had. You just need to keep playing the Buyer Beware mantra through your head. Or at least the I’m Not Buying Porn Today mantra.

Hardware + Geeks means you can custom build a new computer system at Pantip, or repair an old one for a surprisingly cheap price.

Hardware + Geeks means you can custom build a new computer system at Pantip, or repair an old one for a surprisingly cheap price.

The ground floor of Pantip is a chaotic mess filled with small stalls selling cheap electronic toys and gadgets, and the ubiquitous pirated DVD and software vendors surrounding a showroom floor offering the latest from big names like Sony and HP. It’s also home to the largest pack of porn movie sellers; you can’t avoid them so just suck it up and ignore them as much as possible. More of them roam the second floor, where you’ll also start finding small shops selling computer accessories at some pretty cheap prices. There’s a food court there too, tucked in between even more illegal software stalls and the escalators, which should be avoided unless you are dying of hunger. Or until you spot the Crepes by Boss stall where you can dine on a crepe filled with bananas and shredded pork (which, considering the mall’s rep for counterfeit good I wouldn’t be too sure is really pork).

As you go up the stores become larger and more computer related (there’s also a good selection of cameras and photographic equipment). The top floor is home to IT City, which compared to what you walked through to get there is quite well organized. The humongous IT shopping paradise is one of your best bets for making pricey purchases – at least you’ll be guaranteed buying the real deal instead of counterfeit goods unlike at many of the smaller places at Pantip. IT City along with the not quite as large Hardware House on the mezzanine level are a bit pricier than the mom and pop shops that crowd the aisles, but both offer the added security of a manufacturer’s warranty and reliable after-sales service.

Cramped, dirty, noisy, full of pirated goods, counterfeits and fakes . . . why would anyone ever shop at Pantip? Well, besides offering the cheapest porn DVDs in town, there are true geeks at work at Pantip, and Geek trumps Thai even when there is baht to be made. Any IT-related problem you are experiencing while in Bangkok, one of the geeks at Pantip can solve your problem. And it’s surprisingly cheap and almost always comes with one of the glorious Thai smiles (which can be a bit unnerving on the face of a geek). English is not their main forte, but they are almost clairvoyant about sussing out the problem you need help fixing. And if it takes a new gadget to work around your problem, there’s at least 100 stalls offering your miracle cure at a cheap price.

iPods, iPads, and cell phones galore - your boy du jour will love it if you take him shopping at Pantip.

iPods, iPads, and cell phones galore – your boy du jour will love it if you take him shopping at Pantip.

Even though a large majority of computers are now manufactured in Thailand, retail prices on new units compared to those back in the U.S. are staggeringly high. Pantip is probably a good place to go check out the latest hardware and software on the market if you, like me, have low impulse control. Even if you do run across a good deal, you need to be concerned with warranties not to mention that if whatever you are looking at plugs in it won’t plug in to your standard socket back home. If you are shopping with a local friend however, Pantip is one of the cheapest places in town to buy him that computer he is just dying to own.

Though spur of the moment computer purchases are the norm for me back in the states, an unplanned computer purchase is Thailand is not. On one trip my friend Noom, however, had made plans anyway. As he tends to do with any major purchase he has decided I need to make on his behalf, he did all of his homework in advance so that he could present the idea as a done deal that only required the opening of my wallet to complete. It was to be his first computer and he’s not exactly computer savvy so the idea of buying from a small shop in Pantip made me a bit wary. Not even sure of why he’d ever need a computer, but needing one with his every breath nonetheless Noom opted for size. Not in hard drive storage, but in physical dimensions. Laptops got a derisive snort. We needed to go for a full desktop model with the largest tower available. The one that lit up with red neon lights.

He’d made several trips to Pantip before hand, and with the help of a little gay geek (Noom likes gay salesclerks, as they do him) he’d designed the perfect computer for himself, all of which would be built component by component to his exact standards (which was big, black, with red neon lights). I probably spent as much time as he had grilling the techie to make sure all of the hardware was neither counterfeit nor second-hand goods. I knew that asking for genuine software would be pushing it. While it was not top of the line (the more expensive models had much smaller speakers and were not worthy of looking at) the system was still surprisingly cheap, about half of what it would have cost to have built back home. The difference in the price is that in Thailand, labor is included. And if you are purchasing software, viruses are too

pantip 5

It’s difficult to pass up buying a ten CD copy of a software program that would run you $800 back home for a mere $25 in Bangkok. Unless your moral code prohibits you from doing so. Sometimes living by a strict code is a good thing, buying pirated software at Pantip is never a winning proposition. The bad karma you just picked up trounces you as soon as you insert your pirated CD into your computer. Sure a good anti-virus/anti-malware program will catch most of the crap that wants to infect your computer, but none of those work on faulty copying. The more expensive the program the less likely it is to ever work correctly.

Software is the one thing you should avoid buying at Pantip (besides those banana-shredded pork crepes). Even if it comes sealed in its original box, it’s probably a pirated copy. Just like the Viagra sold on the city’s streets. Save yourself from a headache, and save your money while you are at it. If nothing else you’ll be able to afford a few porn DVDs on your way out of the mall.

Pantip Plaza is open daily from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. but the stores within the mall are free to operate their own hours. Many stores aren’t open until 11 in the morning and by early evening many are already closing down.

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First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok: Gaysorn Plaza

22 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by Bangkokbois in First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok, Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

≈ 6 Comments

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Bangkok, Markets & Shopping

An iconic landmark in the Ratchaprasong shopping district Gaysorn Plaza is home to some of Bangkok’s most upscale stores and boutiques.

Gaysorn Plaza is a beautiful upmarket shopping mall filled with designer brand stores. What it’s not filled with is customers. Which is a pretty difficult accomplishment in Bangkok. But it has its uses. It’s a great air-conditioned cut-through to get from the Chit Lom BTS station out onto Ratchadamri Road.

You’d think a mall that includes Prada, Dior, Ferragamo, Armani, Hugo Boss, and Louis Vuitton would be a major draw. But many of those same stores can be found just up the street at the equally dear Siam Paragon, which is managed by the same corporation. Siam Paragon is always overflowing with customers. So if you want to avoid the crowds, Gaysorn is the place to go. And since Beachball is the only person I’ve ever heard claim they shop there, there’s always that.

Gaysorn’s location is hard to beat, the white marble and gleaming chrome complex sits on the corner of Ploenchit and Ratchadamri Roads and just across the street from the ginormous Central World Mall, it should be one of Bangkok’s premier shopping destinations. With its five floors filled with a hundred of the highest level of brand name shops, it probably once was Back when the exchange rate favored touri from the west. Nowadays, not so much. Where once the value of the baht meant picking up items from Fendi at the price of a song, now that same merchandise costs the same as it did back home. If not more. Bangkok is a major shopping destination but it gained that rep because of the deals to be had. Those great bargains are no longer in existence at Gaysorn.

Gaysorn Plaza features five floors of shopping. And zero customers.

For some visitors the mall still offers goods not available in their home country, and for those in Bangkok on business staying at one of the nearby five star hotels, a quick dash into the deserted mall satisfies their need for picking up a small token of their affection for those left at home. The mall also serves consumers who don’t quite understand the difference between buying Prada off the rack and an original because the world needs proof that a fool and his money are soon parted.

Having said all of that Gaysorn is probably the mall I’ve been in the most in Bangkok save MBK. It is a great shot of air conditioned comfort when used as a short cut out onto Ratchadamri Road. The decorations used in the mall’s soaring rotunda are always worth a few minuets of your time, and Gaysorn’s Christmas decorations are first rate too. So it is a great mall to ooh and ahh at even if you don’t drop any baht there.

Not that the mall is completely devoid of shopping experiences for the average touri. There is now a branch of Bookazine on the same level as the entrance to the BTS Station, making’s Gaysorn’s branch one of the easiest to get to in town. And Thann, one of my – meaning Noom’s – favorite brands of smelly stuff has an outlet tucked into a uniquely decorated restaurant that takes on the appearance of a leafy jungle made from corrugated cardboard at the foot of the escalators leading into the mall from the BTS, and also a full-scale spa, Thann Sanctuary, which was voted one of the Top 55 spas in the world by Conde Nast Traveller Magazine. No happy endings available, just to keep the record straight, but at 3,500 baht for a short-time 70 minute spa treatment you’d expect something to put a smile on your face. Equally enticing, at least aroma-wise, is the Bangkok’s branch of Davidoff where you can ponder why it is that when cigars smell so bad when lit while in mass and filling a small store their aroma can be so heavenly.

The decorations in Gaysorn Plaza’s rotunda are spectacular during the Christmas holiday season.

Whether the stores in Gaysorn actually make money, or management has decided to invest a few million baht to entice customers inside, plans to renovate and expand the ten-year-old mall are afoot. A 1 million baht face lift, under the concept of Gaysorn: The House of Luxe, comes to the existing mall first, which is expected to be completed by the end of next year.

Meanwhile, and scheduled for opening in 2014, a 3.5 billion baht, 30 floor retail/office mixed use mall will be built next door between Gaysorn and the Arnoma Hotel under the name of La Maison which the developer describes as a hub of luxury lifestyle products. The enlarged upscale shopping center will continue to buck the trend with no anchor department store, supermarket, food court, or cinema, but hopes to make its corner of Ratchaprasong into one of the world’s luxury fashion and lifestyle avenues like Place Vendo’me in Paris and Ginza in Tokyo.

If you are looking for a cool, quite, classy place to window shop but not buy, Gaysorn Plaza is the place. If you are looking for designer wear at cut-rate prices you’ll be better off shopping for knock-offs at the night market down the street.

The Thann Cafe at Gaysorn Plaza has a cool decor and offers one of Thailand’s best lines of smelly stuff.

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Making Money On Your Money

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First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok: Pratunam Centre Suffers An Identity Crisis

20 Wednesday Jun 2012

Posted by Bangkokbois in First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok, Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Bangkok, Markets & Shopping

In a huge metropolis filled with shopping malls, Pratunam Centre finds itself playing Where’s Waldo.

The idea for Pratunam Centre probably looked good on paper. Execution, however, has not gone well. Another shopping mall in a district filled with shopping malls, even a downscale one mall aimed at the 99%, might just be one too many. With all the shopping opportunities within a five minute walk, the Centre needed to stand out from the crowd, it needed a draw. It just never quite found one.

Years ago, next to Gaysorn Plaza there was an old worn shopping arcade with a basement filled with cheap clothes, jewelry, silk, and those products the government tries to market as OTOP (One Tambon, One Product) – supposedly native handicrafts made in villages that help sustain rural life. It was a crowded dark ramshackle affair, a street market under a roof (okay technically under a floor) where savvy shoppers could pick up great deals and less savvy touri could still find bargains.

Cashing in on its proximity to the wholesale Pratunam market, a small sign dangled precariously at the top of the stairs leading down into the black hole of Bangkok that promised wholesale goods were available inside. They were. But you had to search those vendors out, separating the wheat from the chaff, or in this case the wholesalers from the knock-off T-shirt vendors. It was a lackadaisical attempt at a wholesale market that worked nonetheless. And it was one of those places that just screamed Bangkok.

The first two floors of Pratunam Centre are filled with OTOP products, as well as with pirated DVD sellers.

Developers, not happy with the status quo, decided an upgrade was needed. And built the 4 story Pratunam Centre down the street at the corner of New Petchburi and Ratchaprarop Roads. That should be a great location. And will be when they find the right identity for the mall. But they started with moving all the tenants out of the old place and tearing it down. And the plans were to expand the number of wholesale silver dealers, enough to fill the entire basement level of the new mall. They did manage to convince more silver and jewelry wholesaler to set up shop there but never have found enough to fill the floor. And they did no better with the first two floors, which were supposed to be devoted to OTOP products. As long as you consider pirated DVD’s to be a handicrafts.

Somewhere in the middle of nearby Platinum Mall and Gaysorn, both in quality and price of goods offered and the press of shoppers crowding the aisles, Pratunam Center had a small but loyal following. If you were looking to buy small quantities of merchandise and knew how to haggle prices the shopping mall was a bonanza. Even strictly retail shoppers could find good deals there, easily half off what the same merchandise would run you at the far more popular and often over-crowded MBK mall.

But retail is a numbers game and the number of shoppers directly corresponds to the number of baht flowing into store owners’ bank accounts. The mall never managed to deliver on the former which resulted in a steady decline of the latter. In 2011, Great China Millennium Co., operators of the Bobae wholesale market, bought out the former owners and spent about 5 billion baht to renovate the barely five-year-old complex.

Some of the best prices on silver jewelry in Bangkok can be found at Pratunam Centre’s basement Grand Silver Center.

The new owners renamed the mall Palladium Square, and then renamed it again to Palladium World Shopping even while renovation were still underway. It seems even with new ownership the mall is still suffering from an identity crisis. That may change if their plans for the enormous complex come to fruition. Working off the original scheme, Palladium World is intended to be a combo wholesale/retail extravaganza shopping experience, complete with a ginormous food court, super market, theater, and hotel. Or as they put it: The Kingdom of the Shopping Variety In Lifestyle As You. Okay, so may be the marketing department is a bit confused over the mall’s identity too.

If they can get the word out in a language understandable by the shopping public, Palladium’s food court already is enough to entice the public through the mall’s doors. Food courts are popular among touri and locals alike. All large malls have at least one. But both nearby Platinum and Pantip Plaza have food courts that were afterthoughts, small cramped affairs that can never handle the crush of shoppers that flock to those two malls. And the packed lanes that make up the Pratunam Wholesale Market, just across the streets, are filled with shoppers who need both food and a bit of air-conditioning to soothe their weary bodies. Palladium’s food court could easily fill that need and put the mall on the map. Provided anyone can figure out where Floor B2 is. I’m very familiar with the mall and I haven’t a clue where that floor would be.

It seems management has copied the humongous Central World, just up the street, in it’s layout nomenclature. Zones are important in that scheme. Laying your mall out so customers can determine where they want to go or where in the hell they are it isn’t. Central World gets away with it because of size and fame. Palladium is already fighting an image problem, confusing potential customers over something as simple as its layout isn’t the best idea. But maybe when the supermarket goes in, which is suppose to be on the same floor, and the 800 room 5 star hotel gets built along with the movie theater things will make more sense. Whether or not the mall will be able to attract enough tenants to fulfill their plans – which includes a daily customer count of at least 200,000 – though, remains to be seen.

Pratunam Centre has been rebranded as Palladium Shopping World. What that has to do with polar bears is beyond me.

Even in its current half-way there mode, Palladium is a good place for touri to load up on souvenirs and gifts from their trip. Prices are similar, though possibly just slightly higher than you’ll find at the Chatuchak Weekend Market, but at Palladium you’ll be shopping in air-conditioned stores and wandering down aisles that are not packed with what seems like half the population of the city.

The basement’s Grand Silver Jewelry Center offers incredible deals on genuine silver jewelry (as opposed to the questionable silver jewelry you’ll find a night markets), and while the shops there are set up for wholesale customers, most will willingly sell at retail too. Best of all, shop the mall in the late afternoon and as night sets in the street running along the mall’s exterior turns into a night market that is filled with the same goods you’ll find at Patpong’s night market and along Sukhumvit at at least half the price.

In a town known for its shopping, in a district filled with malls catering to all ends of the shopping spectrum, Palladium World Shopping has a difficult row to hoe to cash in on the vast amount of money spent daily by visitors and locals alike as they make offerings to the gods of consumerism. If the new owners can figure out just what their mall is supposed to be, they may be looking at Bangkok’s newest shopping hit. If not, expect the mall to change hands again within the next two years.

The night market at Pratunam offers better prices and more unusual merchandise than what you’ll find at the better known Patpong night market, or along Sukhumvit’s cramped sidewalks.

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First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok: The Lady Gaga Edition

24 Thursday May 2012

Posted by Bangkokbois in First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok, Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

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Bangkok, Markets & Shopping

Lady Gaga landed in the City of Angels and stirred up the little devils with a welcoming tweet in which she said she was excited in be in Bangkok and was looking forward to getting lost in a lady market and buying a fake Rolex. Not realizing the diva du jour already gets enough publicity, her comments drew outrage from Thais. It was not her veiled reference to the ready availability of prostitution that upset them mind you, but her remark about the ready availability of knock-off merchandise in Thailand’s capital city.

No stranger to controversy, but rather having built a career around it, I doubt Lady Gaga is overly concerned about the mini furor her tweet caused. Still, out of cultural sensitivity, she may hesitate in asking where in town she should shop for her fake Rolex. Since her posse landed her ass at the airport no one uses any longer I doubt if they’d know. And while I wouldn’t know a Lady Gaga song if it bit me in the ass (which isn’t an age thing, I’d do no better trying to come up with anything by Madonna) she has been supportive of the gay community so I thought I’d return the favor and give her the low down on her best shopping choices while she’s in the Big Mango.

Khaosan Road. Bangkok’s backpacker ghetto is a perfect place for the good Lady to go for a shopping spree. Even if she wore the rubber dress she landed in, no one would bat an eye. In fact she’d be hard pressed to look stranger than those who haunt the area. Rolex-wise though this is not the best place to buy a fake watch. The vendors know the farang touri who frequent Khaosan are not savvy world travellers. There’s also the karma payback for the blight they inflict on the town by their mere presence. Gaga can find her Rolex here but she’ll pay at least 2,500 baht for it. And that’s only if she gets someone in her entourage to bargain hard for the watch.

Patpong. Gaga’s time in Bangkok will be limited, so a night out in Patpong can take care of both of the things she wants to do while in the Kingdom. ‘Lady market’ is an odd twist of a phrase, but perfectly describes the flesh pots that line the Patpong Night market. So plenty of whores. And even more fake Rolexes. Unless the Boys in Brown decide to hold one of their famous crack-downs thanks to her remarks (which means she’d have to ask rather than point to the watch she’s interested in).

Saving a buck might not be on the agenda of a multimillionaire, but since she could afford the real thing and wants a knock-off instead, getting a good deal should be part of her goal. That won’t happen in Patpong. The vendors there are used to dealing with newbies to the city who haven’t a clue about prices and values. At best, she will be able to snag a fake Rolex for 2,000 baht in Patpong. She can get a lady, or boy, or a combination of the two for the same price.

Pantip Plaza. If you are looking for counterfeit goods there is no better Mecca in town than this multi-floored salute to piracy. Though ostensibly dedicated to computer and technology products, there are vendors here too that offer the latest in knock-off designer watches. You just have to brave the gauntlet of porn dvd sellers to find them. She can also load up on CDs while shopping at Pantip, including her own.

Locals flock to Pantip, though few are interested in knock-off jewelry with all the pirated software on display. Vendors tend to offer better pricing though since they are used to dealing with the local market. So a visit to Pantip could save Gaga a few baht. If she haggles better than she sings she could walk way with her cherished Rolex for as little as 1,800 baht from Pantip.

Sukhumvit. The street from soi 3 to Asoke is littered with vendor stalls nightly and sellers here offer some of the best touri prices in town. That’s because the area is a favorite of sex touri looking to do the town, and its working girls, on the cheap. That many of them are selling fake Rolexes should come as no surprise because many of the women working this area are fake too. Hopefully someone in her posse will tell her the girls along Sukhumvit were not born this way.

Gaga biggest danger in hitting Sukhumvit is that she may get mistaken for a ladyboy. But then that could mean landing a customer who is not a cheap bastard and who will buy a fake rolex for her. That’s a win-win, with an orgasm thrown in on top. If she doesn’t luck out in the customer department and has to buy her own watch, this is probably the best place in town due to her tight schedule to grab a good deal. Her best bet is to barter hard then walk away; that’ll get the vendor to drop his price by another 100 baht or so and she’ll get her fake Rolex for as little as 1,500 baht.

Regardless of where Gaga shops for her fake Rolex or how much she pays, it will stop working within the year. But then that will give her an excuse to return to Thailand soon, and that will make a lot of little Thai monsters quite happy.

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First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok: Part II – Pratunam Market

14 Monday May 2012

Posted by Bangkokbois in First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok

≈ 36 Comments

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Bangkok, Markets & Shopping

Pratunam Market offers pure chaos and some of the cheapest prices in Bangkok.

Since I just mentioned the Pratunam wholesale shopping district in a recent post, I’d be remiss in not providing more details. And if you visited the Baiyoke Sky Tower and failed to spend some time shopping in the area, you’d be remiss in picking up some great deals. Though you will find the general feeling about Pratunam mixed from those who tied a shopping excursion in with their visit to Bangkok’s tallest building, with some amazed at the deals and others claiming the shopping is a rip-off, it really depends on how deeply into the district you wander. Most only hit the shops at Baiyoke or along the drive-through soi fronting the hotel. Owners of those stores know who they are dealing with: bus tourists. There is no need to offer unbelievable deals. Those people will buy anything.

You won’t get the hot prices if you are not a fan of hot weather either. If you insist on shopping in air-conditioned comfort, there are better places for you to spend your money. Someone has to pay for all that cold air flowing out of the tiny stores’ doorways. And it isn’t going to be the store owner. So if you are looking for the bargains the district is famous for, wear comfortable shoes, grab a large bottle of water, and head back into the warren of small lanes that snake their way to god knows where.

Make no mistake about it, there are great deals to be had at Pratunam. The hordes of locals packing the chaotic small lanes and 4,000 shops are proof of that. And since the majority of shops are manufacturers, you’ll not only find rock bottom prices but the elusive larger sizes that the American waistlines demands too. Part of finding those deals is knowing what is part of the Pratunam market and what is overflow shops cashing in on the market’s rep. But even in those you can find some decent deals, and some unique clothing too; many smaller designers have set up shop in the Pratunam area.

Hot and humid, the narrow lanes at Pratunam are crowded with shoppers. And motorcycles laden with fresh goods.

Years ago Pratunam Market was easy to identify. It started at the intersection of Ratchaprarop and Phetchaburi Roads and was a sprawling dirty hot open air market packed with locals making a buck out of small store fronts that looked like closets. Today it is a bit cleaner, the street-side shops are more of a come-on, and the entire areas surrounding the market has become a shrine to consumerism. Some include the Platinum Fashion Mall, City Complex, Indra Square, and even Pantip Plaza in their definition of Pratunam. While those neighboring malls also all offer good prices (and deserve posts of their own), the real bargain hunters know they are not part of the market and are not where the best deals are to be had. Ditto for the shops that have sprung up in and around the Baiyoke Towers; for a shopaholic there is still a draw but you pay more for the easy access and slightly better atmosphere.

Regardless of where you set the market’s borders, clothing is the name of the game. You’ll find a bit of electronics and lots of accessories too, but this is where Thailand’s wholesale garment trade began and the market is still true to its beginnings. There is tons of casual-wear available for the jeans and T-Shirts crowd, and formal evening wear and suits for the hi-so crowd too. The area closer to Phetchaburi Road has enough sequins, feathers, and beads to make any drag queen’s heart flutter, and both last year’s and next year’s fashion can be found, often in stores sitting side by side. Several shops along the perimeter of the market sell suitcases at cheap prices too – you’ll undoubtedly need one to pack home all the bargains you find.

Pratunam is first and foremost a wholesale market. So you’ll get your best deal when buying in quantities. Fortunately, three seems to be the quantity you need to hit to get the best price. Though if you are thinking of importing some goods, most of the shops are manufacturers and you can get even better prices when ordering by the gross. But that is not a decision to enter into lightly. You need to be familiar with your home country’s rules on importing clothing. And cheap prices can also mean cheap goods – bad stitching and generally poor workmanship translates into bucks for the shop owner, so beware!

Pratunam is a wholesale market and is open 24 hours. But most shops are not.

Some shops are manufacturers, others sell seconds from known manufacturers, and a lot more are busy selling knock-offs. If fakes don’t bother you go for it. If they do, note that Gucci is spelled with two c’s, not three. An odd paradox is that not may shops have a dressing room for you to try clothing on, but most have a seamstress manning a sewing machine from the 1950s, ready to make alterations for a song. If you are not an expert at eyeballing sizes, be persistent about the need of trying on what you are thinking of buying. Eventually the vendor will give in and lead you to a neighboring shop that has a tiny dressing room. Or they’ll push you to the back of a counter and assume that’s all the privacy you need. Do not assume the sizes sewn into the label are accurate. In fact, it’s safer to assume they are not.

You can also assume if you need anything larger than an XL in casual clothing you’ll pay more for it. And if you normally wear an XL, you’ll probably need an XXL in Thailand. The vendors’ profit margins are low at Pratunam and they’ll want you to cover the extra cost of the material they used to produce your big guy size. And it goes without saying, though I will say it anyway, that cash is king. You won’t get a discount for paying in cash, but will pay 3-5% for using a credit card. If it is accepted at all.

You’d think at a street market in Bangkok haggling skills would be required. And they are at most markets that are frequented by touri. At Pratunam, not so much. Many shops have signs displaying their price. At those that do, consider it a fixed price unless you are buying in quantities (though it never hurts to try to get a better deal). At those where you have to ask the price, don’t expect the vendor to come down much from his initial price. You’ll find you are haggling over twenty baht at best.

And guess where all the ladyboys shop!

So how good of a deal can you get at Pratunam? Playing follow the price tag is a good way to find out. There is a popular Japanese T-shirt brand called Sure that is manufactured in Thailand. The short sleeved Asian sizes run $30-40 in Japan. In boutiques at Central World, just up the street from Pratunam, they go for the equivalent of $20. Over on Khoasan Road if you bargain hard you can get one for $15. At MBK the price drops to $12, and at Platinum Fashion Mall you can pick one up for $10. The manufacturer has an outlet on Phetchaburi Road on the perimeter of Pratunam market where even when buying a single shirt you can still get one as low as $6. But if you wander back into the market to their main shop they are only $5. Catch them inside the market when they are clearing their seconds out, which have minor and often unnoticeable blemishes, and you can snag one for $3. I picked a gross of them up at wholesale prices and blew them out within a month at $25 each back in the states. Which paid for my air fare and hotel for the entire trip.

Local shop owners do the same without the air fare involved. You’ll see them loaded down with bundles, scurrying across the street or filling a taxi to take their purchases across the street to Platinum or to MBK where they’ll be glad to sell you what they bought at Pratunam that morning for twice the price. Pratunam is where you can cut the middle man out while being kind to your wallet.

Technically, the market runs twenty-four hours. Realistically, your shopping will be between 10:00 am and 6:00 pm. Though keep in mind you are in Thailand. Some shops won’t be opened by 10:00 am and many will have closed by 4:00 pm. The air-conditioned stores around the market’s perimeter stay open later, until 9:00 pm, and there is a decent night market that sprawls out and across Ratchaprarop Road that can run into the early morning hours depending on the weather, the crowds, and the mood of the vendors.

No worries if you get hungry while shopping at Pratunam, the food comes to you.

Getting to Pratunam is half the fun. At least it is if you consider a root canal an enjoyable experience. Bangkok’s horrendous traffic reaches its peak just where you want to go. And you’ll have a difficult time finding a taxi willing to take you there. The BTS is an option, though all of the closest stations are still several long blocks away. And the MTR isn’t much better. The walk from any station isn’t insurmountable, but since you’ll be spending several hours walking through Bangkok’s infamous heat and humidity while shopping, tacking an extra fifteen to twenty minute walk on to the front of your journey isn’t a wise move.

Many websites suggest taking the BTS to Ratchathewi Station and catching a tuk tuk or taxi from there. Good luck with that. Ratchadamri Road, in front of Central World, looks like a parking lot for much of the day and the traffic moves even slower than in a parking lot. If you can not find a taxi willing to take you into the area, your best bet is to take the BTS to the Chidlom Station, use the elevated walkway to Central World Mall, stroll down Ratchadamri Road in air-conditioned comfort, and then make a mad dash across Phetchaburi Road to the market. Or if you are a true shopaholic, stay at one of the hotels in the immediate area.

Getting out is a bit easier. Unless you were able to resist all of the great bargains, you’ll be loaded down with packages and bags, so take a taxi. You can usually find one around the Baiyoke Sky Tower, but don’t be surprised if available drivers demand a fixed fare. It’s the only place in town where I don’t argue about not using the meter. That the poor drivers have to brave the surrounding traffic elicits pity from even the cheapest or most hardened heart. Besides, with all the money you just saved shopping at Pratunam Market you can afford it.

Made to order, custom made, or for quick alterations, Pratunam can’t be beat. And they’ll do a much better job than any rip-off Indian tailor in town.

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First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok (Part I)

19 Thursday Apr 2012

Posted by Bangkokbois in First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok, Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

Bangkok, Markets & Shopping, Money Matters

Mah Boon Krong (MBK) Is Bangkok’s most popular shopping mall.

Mah Boon Krong (MBK) Is Bangkok’s most popular shopping mall.

Bangkok is a shopper’s paradise. Even if you are not into shopping, it’s hard not to do while in The Big Mango. This guide is intended for first time visitors, a multiple post series that will help you get the most out of your shopping experience while in Thailand. Of course, that is assuming you’ve already read my First Times Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars series of posts. Which is about shopping of an entirely different kind.

Your shopping experience in Bangkok can begin the minute you get off the plane. So can your ‘I Got Scammed in Bangkok’ experience. You’ll have ample opportunity to participate in both later, for now, show a bit of restraint, pass by the duty free shops – which means they make a larger profit, not that you get a cheaper price – meet the only Thais in the country who don’t smile (after you’ve waited an hour to get through immigration), get your first scam experience from the taxi driver outside the airport doors, and check in to your hotel. Phew. Now the shopping can begin.

Not to beat a dead horse (because the mamasan would charge you an extra 500 baht if that’s your kink), but your first shopping experience will probably be at one of the gay gogo bars. That’s as it should be. If you opt for a long-time off and keep your boy for the next day, he’ll be a great guide for your initial foray into Bangkok’s shopping extravaganza. This will also allow you to take part in the Thai tradition of buying someone you just met gold jewelry or a cell phone. Make that gold jewelry and a cell phone. And while there are plenty of places all over town your boy can take you to make that purchase, more than likely he’ll lead you to Mah Boon Krong (MBK), Bangkok’s most famous shopping mall. Even if you decide to make your first shopping trip without a bar boy, MBK is a great place to start. The place is humongous, fairly inexpensive, and serves as a good introduction to what shopping in Bangkok is all about.

MBk offers seven floors of shopping and entertainment.

MBk offers seven floors of shopping and entertainment.

I’ll walk you through the mall, which will be much less tiring than an actual visit to MBK, in a minute. First, as a newbie to shopping in Bangkok there are a few rules you need to learn. They all apply to your MBK experience; most will also be useful for anywhere else you shop while in the Kingdom. Except for street markets. And I’ll cover those in a subsequent post. But let’s start with the basics:

1. Haggling. The old rule of thumb was that if a store priced their merchandise, those were fixed prices and you paid whatever the asking price was. Everywhere else, you haggled. Not so any more. The world’s economy sucks and times are hard so almost all stores now will allow you to haggle over prices. This can be troublesome for the newbie. Not wanting to look cheap, many just pay the ticket price when with just a bit of effort they could have instead walked away with a great deal. So when should you haggle in a shopping mall in Thailand?

At MBK the only place where an attempt at getting the price lowered will be fruitless is the larger department stores. Which is pretty much Tokyo, the Japanese multi-floor retailer than anchors MBK at the Skytrain end of the mall. Everything there has a price tag on it (kinda, sorta). The clerks there do not have the authority to lower prices. The clerks there do not have the intelligence level necessary to make that kind of difficult mathematical computation. The fact that it takes six of them to conclude a single item purchase should tip you off. The fact it takes three of those six to figure out how to put your purchase in a bag should make it obvious. But their incompetency does provide you with a general rule regarding when to haggle and when not to: In a larger store where most things are priced and there are at least half a dozen clerks standing around looking like they just had a group lobotomy, haggling is not the norm. Everywhere else, go for it.

Oh, and by the way, this is Thailand, so everything is for sale. And you really need to learn English. Stores in Thailand do not have sales. They have promotions. Where everything for sale is on sale, or at a discount. Which they pronounce ‘dick count’. Not to be confused with the dick count you made at the gogo bar the night before.

All the trinkets you’ve been eyeballing at street markets are available at MBK too. But then seriously, you shouldn’t be buying that crap anyway.

All the trinkets you’ve been eyeballing at street markets are available at MBK too. But then seriously, you shouldn’t be buying that crap anyway.

2. Sizing. Even guys who don’t like to shop for clothes end up buying some at MBK. The selection is immense and the prices are cheap. Even though Thailand, like the rest of the world, mistakenly uses the metric system, for menswear they use U.S. sizes. Not that those sizes correspond to those used in the U.S. Because that would be . . . oh, never mind.

One Size Fits All means it won’t. Assume that you need to buy one size up in casual shirts. So if you usually wear a medium T shirt, you’ll need to start with large in Thailand. And will probably actually need to go to XL. Anywhere in the world if the garment is 100% cotton, it will shrink. If it was made in Thailand, it will shrink at least one full size. All cotton is not the same. And if you scored some of those 99 baht T shirts, they’re seconds and were probably mismarked to begin with.

Ditto for casual pants. Yes they do say they are size 32. That’s Thai for 28. Unlike T-shirts which you can eyeball, you’ll need to try pants on. In one of the small stalls this can be tricky. The dressing room is a small corner with a curtain hung in front of it that a normal sized Thai man would not be able to fit into. Your initial reaction would be to just drop trou out in the open, but that is considered rude. Unless the stall is too small to even have a curtain. Then it is expected. So you better not be shy. Or be wearing a thong.

You need to try anything and everything you are considering buying on. Every piece. Just because the shirt you tried fits does not mean the same exact shirt in a different color will too. In fact that usually means it won’t. Bit it’s worth the pain of trying the stuff on, the clothes you buy will be at a great bargain. And they will still fit better than anything you have made at one of the custom tailor shops run by Indians in town.

MBK dog

MBk opens at 10:00 am, if you get there too early, you can take a photo of this dog who hangs out there daily until the crowds arrive.

3. Security. If you enter MBK from the ground floor or off of the Skytrain system you will pass through a metal detector manned by a few locals wearing vaguely militaristic uniforms. They are security guards and are just as brain dead as security guards are anywhere in the world. The metal detectors are not tuned as finely as those at the airport, but if you are carrying metal, such as a camera, they will go off. Ignore them. Focus your eyes on some undefined point far off in the distance and just keep walking. The guards will not come after you. To do so would be rude in Thailand. And if you do stop for your bags to be searched the horde of people waiting behind you will get quite pissed. They know the guard and detector are just for looks and will not tolerate your stupidity for long.

Of course if you really did intend on blowing up the mall, then you should know the entrances from the parking lot do not have metal detectors and the duty of the security guards on those doors is to hold them open for you. So that you can easily carry your bomb inside. If it is a heavy bomb, ask. They will carry it in for you.

4. Traffic Flow. You may have already noticed that in Thailand they drive on the wrong side of the street. If you are familiar with screwed up countries that do the same then you probably have figured out they also tend to walk on the wrong side of a pathway. Except in Thailand. In Thailand they follow their street traffic patterns which boils down to the ever popular ‘every man for himself’. Just like your taxi driver who will drive down the wrong side of the street because he spotted an open lane (which would look like the right side of the street to an American), in shopping malls your fellow shoppers will follow the path of least resistance. Especially if that means walking directly into you.

MBK 99 baht T shirts

99 baht T-shirts: cheaper than laundry service.

You will need to use the escalators to traverse from one floor to the next. There are a few sets of elevators at MBK, but they are well-hidden from touri. And if you stumble into one, your brief ride packed in like a sardine will teach you what claustrophobia is all about. You’ll also learn what a small space packed with Thais smells like.

Your parents probably taught you to be polite. And as a Westerner you have learned how to use lines (or queues for those of you from those countries where they drive on the wrong side of the street). Thais have not learned either of these tricks. This is nowhere more evident than at an escalator at a shopping mall. If you get into line with the other falang, you will still be waiting your turn an hour later. Instead, come in at an angle and cut to the front. Or just follow any Thai in front of you.

That politeness thingy also probably taught you to be considerate of the elderly. So even when cutting to the front of the line, your natural inclination would be to allow an elderly Thai to board the escalator in front of you. Big mistake. As soon as those magic stairs quit moving she will come to an abrupt and complete stop. And will begin reminiscing about her day, planning her television viewing schedule for the next two weeks, and reconsidering the major life choices she has made over the last eighty years. And if you were lucky enough to catch yourself from running over her, you’ll then be stuck behind her, squeezed in by the crowd, until she decides to move. This is what being polite gets you in Thailand.

MBK escalators

Some escalators go up, some go down, some are next to each other, some require you walk half way through the mall to get to the next flight. The only guarantee is that you’ll never see them this empty.

5. Information. Large malls in Bangkok like MBK have Information Counters for falang to use to more easily find what they are looking for. And they are excellent for this purpose provided all you are looking for is the Information Counter you are standing at. This is one of the few positions at the mall that the HR department demands skilled labor to fill. To land one of these sought after positions you need to demonstrate a complete lack of knowledge of anything to do with the mall. Having a total lack of knowledge about Bangkok means a management position is waiting for you.

Thais, however, will never admit they don’t know something. So the helpful clerk at the Information Counter will give you explicit directions to wherever it is you are looking for. And that information will be helpful. Do exactly opposite of whatever she tells you and you stand an 80% chance of being right.

The Information Counter can be fun though. If you are with other falang who keep asking you where stuff is, direct them to the closest Information Counter. It’s a great prank and you’ll have hours of entertainment laughing at them as the wander about completely lost while following the directions they received.

It’s also fun to eyeball the name of the nearest store and then stop and ask the girl at the Information Counter how to get to that place. She’ll get her fellow Information Clerks to help out, a long discussion will follow, and then she’ll point you in the opposite direction.

MBK

The helpful girls at MBK’s Information Counter prove that a human can in fact continue to function when brain dead.

6. Toilet. Fortunately MBK has a large falang customer base and the locals have figured out Westerners are not intelligent enough to know how to use a hole in the floor as a toilet. So you will find familiar porcelain at the public restrooms at MBK. Locals using the facilities may not be as familiar with those contraptions, so don’t be surprise to pass by several of them squatting on top of a toilet seat. If nothing else, this leaves the urinals free for your use. And you’ll need that space. Because while you are relieving yourself an eighty-year -old local woman will start mopping the floor between your legs.

Like any other entertainment venue in Thailand, admission to the toilets at MBK is not free. I think it is now 2 baht. There is a guard at the door who will collect your fare, and she will be much more diligent about her job than the security guards who didn’t stop you from walking into the mall with a loaded AK-47. You will not get a free pass from her no matter how badly you need to go. And she does not have change (which would amaze anyone not Thai since she is siting there with a bag full of one baht coins). So be prepared. Or head out to the parking lot and pee against a pillar like the locals do.

7. Money Matters. This may come as a newsflah to you, but you are shopping and that involves money. Since you are in Thailand, that involves baht. This seems to be incompressible to the many Russians you’ll see causing a ruckus because their rubles are not being accepted, but most falang know enough to exchange their currency for the local’s version that looks like it came from your old Monopoly game. If you are smart you’ll do so before you hit the mall. The rate you get will be worse here, it’s a convenience. Meaning it is convenient for them to rip you off with low exchange rates.

You may try to beat the system by using plastic. In attempting to do so you’ll find, just like in those Visa commercials, they don’t take American Express. They also don’t take Visa. Or MatserCard. PowerBuy, the large electronics store, will. So will Tokyo. But as the size of the stores grows smaller so is the likelihood that they will accept plastic. It’s not that they are unable to, they just don’t like to. If you insist, expect to pay a 3% fee for using your credit cards (and they still don’t accept American Express).

MBK traffic

The roads surrounding MBK and its parking lot are easily confused. (The parking structure is the one where traffic actually moves.)

8. Lay Out. I’d warn you that MBK is so huge that you can easily get lost, but you won’t listen to me so I won’t bother. Besides, if you do get lost you can always stop at an Information Counter for assistance. Let’s instead talk about basic layout. Of MBK and any shopping district in Thailand. Think of each floor as a village. Traditionally in Thailand, every village specialized in producing one type of product. This has carried over into malls and shopping areas.

This phenomenon will be most noticeable when you hit the fourth floor. There are 2.8 million stalls selling cell phones on the fourth floor. Okay, that may be an exaggeration. I’m probably overstating by a few dozen. And not only do they all carry cell phones, they all carry the same brands and models too. Don’t worry, your boy du jour will know which one will give you the best deal. And will give him the best commission for bringing your wallet to them.

But this layout scheme make shopping for specific items easy. If you want the 99 baht T-shirts, they are at the opposite end of where the Skytrain station is on the sixth floor. There are around 200 stalls, all selling the same shirts and all gathered in one big clump for you to shop from. See, it does make sense.

BTS Bangkok skytrain

Your best bet for getting to MBK is the BTS, it will also provide you with a chance of honing your crowd survival skills.

9. Transportation. You may have noticed I’ve mentioned the Skytrain a few times already. It’s also known as the BTS, just to avoid confusion. It’s the best way to get to and away from MBK. You can also take a taxi or tuk tuk, but the traffic around MBK – and the dozen of other malls that spread out along both sides of it – is notoriously jammed. It looks a lot like MBK’s parking lot, except the traffic doesn’t move quite as quickly as it does in the parking structure. To help alleviate the traffic congestion, taxis and tuk tuks are not allowed to let off or pick up customers along the two fronts of the mall. So, of course, if you take a taxi or tuk tuk to the mall, this is where you will be let you off.

When you are ready to leave, to catch a taxi or tuk tuk you need to find the rear entrance to the mall. This is the official public transportation hub for the mall. There are no signs directing you to this area. So you can take your chances and step out front instead where, unless there is a Boy in Brown collecting tea money, you’ll be able to catch your ride.

If you use the BTS, your disembarkation point is National Stadium. This is the terminus for the Silom Line. Most of the crowd you ride in with will get off one stop before at Siam. Don’t. That stop is for two other malls. And you haven’t been trained to shop at those malls yet.

If you have not yet used the BTS, your excursion to MBK will be an excellent opportunity to practice your crowd survival skills. At your boarding station you’ll notice everyone politely lines up on the arrows provided and patiently waits for the next train. When it arrives, thirty doors chuff open down the line. Then the nicely formed lines dissolve into a feeding frenzy; those passengers exiting engage in a head-down, grunting, shoving and pushing match with those who want in. No voices are raised, no punches are thrown, but if you have personal-space issues, a ride on the BTS will be a trial by frottage for you.

MBK directory

This is a handy directory for you to use at MBK. If you are a nice person, print a copy out and drop it off at one of the Information Counters. The girls there will be amazed. Most will not have realized the mall has more than one floor.

The worse part of the MBK shopping experience is that the mall is so huge and there is so much to look at you can easily become shopped out without ever having bought something. Sad to say, but it happens to the best of us. It’s kinda like if you’d read this post this far to get information about what you can buy at MBK and were to discover that after running you through the shopping basics the post has run on too long and needs to stop now.

Ah well, consider this a lesson learned. In Thailand you will always get exactly what you pay for.

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Sawatdee and welcome to the new and improved Bangkokbois Gay Thailand Blog! Okay, so it’s not necessarily improved, just hosted on a new site. And it’s not just about Thailand, though that still is the main focus. And it’s not all gay either, unless you’re not and then you’ll think it’s pretty damn gay I’m sure. All of the penis might tip you off. Which means if you are not of the required legal age to be looking at penis other than your own, you should leave. And go tell your parental units they suck at their job.

But it is a blog and one out of three ain’t bad. Besides, Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand Blog For People Of Legal Age is just too wordy. But so is Dancing With The Devil In The City Of Angels, which is really the title of this blog.

As cool of a title as that is, Google just ain’t sharp enough to figure out that means this blog is mostly about Thailand. And pretty damn gay to boot. The penis part even Google figured out. Which is a good thing. ‘Cuz Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand With Lots Of Penis Blog For People Of Legal Age, I think, was taken by someone else.

Move along, there’s nothing to see here folks; pay no attention to that man behind the curtain:

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