Platinum Fashion Mall is a top choice in Bangkok for shopaholics, divas, tourists, and bargain hunters alike.

Fans of Platinum Fashion Mall in Bangkok will all agree that as popular as Pratunam is as a shopping district, it is not for the fainthearted. Massive crowds, pushy pedestrians, parking lot-like traffic, motorcycles using the sidewalk as a dedicated traffic lane, and Bangkok’s sweltering heat combine to make it an unappealing area to anyone who is not a diehard shopaholic. And that’s just during the week. Come Saturday afternoon it can be too much even for those born to shop.

But the deals to be had, especially on clothing, are a Mecca to bargain hunters, both touri and what often seems to be half of Bangkok’s population alike. Experienced visitors know you can go mano y mano with the shop dealers who line the narrow, stifling aisles of the Pratunam Market if you prefer a little sweat with your shopping (okay, lots of sweat). Or you can step into the air conditioned not quite as sardines-in-a-can-like aisles of Platinum Fashion Mall. You may pay a bit for the comfort, but prices are so low anyway it may well be worth the financial sacrifice.

I’ve always wondered if Platinum was purposely named, or if it was a case of Pratunam being lost in translation into English. Grab a taxi to either and no matter how carefully you enunciate your intended destination there’s a good chance you’ll end up at the other. But then that has more to do with traffic than it does with your accent. And since the two are but a block – and a death-defying crossing of a street – away, it doesn’t really matter. You may even decide to take a local’s approach to life and just shop where you land. If you have good karma, that’ll be at Platinum.

Thai sign makers are as skilled at their trade as Thai map makers are. At Platinum they are useful for resting your elbow on. That’s about it.

Platinum Fashion Mall is like an indoor version of the Chatuchak Weekend Market. While it specializes in wholesale fashion clothing and accessories, with six floors of shopping space you’ll find someone selling just about whatever it is your heart desires. That is provided you can find them. Because Platinum too shares that characteristic with the Weekend Market. It is confusing as all hell. Despite each floor supposedly being devoted to a specific genre of merchandise. Thais aren’t big on following rules, and a floor devoted to a specific type of consumer goods is just a bit too close to sounding like a rule. Therefor it’s best to just ignore it. You’re better off browsing anyway. Whatever it was you were looking for is probably in the other building in the first place.

Thai aren’t big on reading maps either, no more so than women are. Or at least they are not big on the skill that entails. Which may explain why the mall is laid out in zones. Because while that would normally confuse the issue, for the already flummoxed it has zero effect. And for the small population of farang men in the mall, it levels the playing filed allowing them to feel just as lost and helpless as the rest of the crowd. Whoda thought shopping would provide you with a glimpse into the Thai collectivism culture where it’s all for one and one for all?

Fashion fit for a diva. Or your inner queen.

Fortunately, stumbling over a real bargain is the rule rather than exception at Platinum. And that’s a rule everyone can get behind. Primarily a wholesale market like the open-air Pratunam Market across the street, with very little effort you can walk away with a great deal. The trick is to buy in quantity. And since a quantity of 3 will usually land you the wholesale price, that’s not a difficult thing to do. Most of the stores are more stall than store and none carry what could be called an extensive selection of merchandise. But there’s always enough available to easily pick out three items – they do not have to be the exact same item to qualify as a bulk purchase. And when you can pick up a pair of jeans, cammies, or cargo pants for $15, why wouldn’t you stock up on a few pair?

The selection at Platinum is overwhelmingly geared toward women, but there are plenty of places selling clothing for men too. Many are small local designers; you can find some truly cool T-shirts that may cost you a bit more than the knock-offs available at street markets but which will not have some large corporation’s logo emblazoned across the chest either. There are even high-quality 100% cotton Ts without graphics, suitable for those who realize they are too old to be strolling around in Hollister’s or Aeropostale’s advertising. And if you want to upgrade to clubwear, you’ll find a nice range of duds that’ll keep you from looking like a dud. Or a dude. Or a rube.

With an average of just under 400 shops per floor, keeping an eye on the escalators can help keep you from getting lost. But you will get lost anyway.

You can of course find many of the same lines of clothing at MBK, a more manageable and traditional shopping mall popular with tourists and locals just a few minutes away. But the majority of small shops and stalls at MBK buy their merchandise from Platinum; come early and you can watch local divas in high heels manhandle massive bags filled with clothing down the aisles and out to the street to a waiting taxi. Not that you’ll realize the same prices they do, but you will avoid much of their mark-up by shopping at the source. Just like they do.

I’m always hard pressed to decide at what point during a trip to make a pilgrimage to Platinum. Especially when I have first-time visitors with me. On one hand it’s good to sneak a visit in early, before everyone blows their money elsewhere, paying a higher price for what they could get at Platinum. Which tends to piss some folk off. On the other hand, it’s good to make the trek to Platinum later during a trip when everyone is totally fed up with having to haggle over the price of every damn thing they want to buy. Negotiating is not necessary at Platinum. There’s the retail price, the wholesale price, and the give me a dozen price. And the store clerks will volunteer the discounted prices without you saying a word. The only problem with the first choice is that invariably means another visit before everyone hops back on the plane. And that’s more dangerous to your wallet than being tagged as jai dee by your boy du jour.

Graphic design work is prized more highly than corporate logos are by store owners @ Platinum.

You may as well go ahead and leave home without it when it comes to credit cards though, cash is the name of the game at Platinum. And if you do find a stall that takes plastic, expect to pay a 3% surcharge for using your card. Many of the stores do not have a dressing room, most will walk you to the closest store that does. Even if that is nothing more than a small corner you’ll barely fit into with a curtain that may or may not provide you with a sense of privacy. Guys, who seldom try on clothes assuming they know what size they need, should exercise caution. A ‘L’ can be anything from a ‘S’ to a ‘M’. Though I do recall one vendor proudly telling me her L would fit because it was “America Size”. Which meant twice the size any other nationality would need for a comfortable, loose fit. (But she was right.)

Luggage – in case you buy more than what will fit in your suitcases – souvenirs, knickknacks, bedding and sheets, bags that work great for your camera or as a day pack, and lots and lots of silk are all available at Platinum too. What you won’t find are computers, electronics, or porn dvds. Those you’ll have to go next door to Pantip Plaza for. This being Thailand, you’ll find plenty of knock-offs and counterfeit goods at both malls.

With hours and hours of shopping on your agenda, you will need sustenance and Platinum Fashion Mall has you covered with that ever popular shopping mall standard, a food court. Platinum’s – often overflowing with hungry humanity – has 28 different booths offering a wide variety of mostly Thai and Asian food at low, low prices. It’s on the top floor. Platinum also has some of the standard American fast food joints splashed across the front of the mall (KFC is well represented, but I’m hoping your taste in food is better or at least as good as your taste in clothing).

You won’t be able to read Kaiton Kao Mun’s sign, so I thought I’d throw you a bone and show you what the place looks like. And you might want to try their chicken bone soup while you are there.

A better choice to satisfy your hunger pains is across the street near the corner of Soi 30 where you’ll find one of the city’s best and most popular, chicken and rice stalls/restaurants. Kaiton Kao Mun has been around for 40 years. Affectionately known as the pink shirt chicken rice place, it draws huge crowds from early in the morning into the late afternoon. And then again all night long (Um, it’s closed from around 3 pm to around 5 pm). There is an imitator – because there always is in Bangkok – just a few yards away, but they wear green shirts. It’s one of those local places where you’ll just have to point at what you want, but everything on the menu is top-rate and unlike at KFC it’s all real chicken. And lunch will run you around 80 baht. Just look for the crowds. Or follow your nose.

Many recommend an early visit to Platinum to avoid some of the crowd. The mall opens at 8:00 am on Wednesdays and weekends, at 9:00 am on the other days. But that too is a suggestion rather than a fixed rule and many of the shops don’t open their doors until 10. Or later. Ditto for the other end of the work day. The mall officially closes at 10:00 pm, but you’ll be lucky to find anything other than the KFC open after 9. Or 8. You can also scope out your plan of attack by visiting the mall’s website, most of its 2,228 stores are listed and have pictures on-line of the type of merchandise they carry. The only danger in visiting their website first is it is almost as much of an ordeal as hitting the actual mall – you may have little energy left to do your shopping in person.

The crowds are fierce at Platinum Fashion Mall, even at 10:00 in the morning.

Getting to Platinum Fashion Mall is easy. Take a taxi from your hotel, or take the BTS to Chitlom Station and a taxi or tuk tuk from there. Due to the 24/7 gridlock, don’t be surprised if your taxi driver demands a fixed fare. Fortunately when your shopping jones has been sated and you are laden with bags full of all the hot deals you found, there is an amazingly organized taxi queue in front of the mall. Wait your turn, hop in, and tell the driver to take you to the nearest massage spa. You’ll need it.

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An iconic landmark in the Ratchaprasong shopping district Gaysorn Plaza is home to some of Bangkok’s most upscale stores and boutiques.

Gaysorn Plaza is a beautiful upmarket shopping mall filled with designer brand stores. What it’s not filled with is customers. Which is a pretty difficult accomplishment in Bangkok. But it has its uses. It’s a great air-conditioned cut-through to get from the Chit Lom BTS station out onto Ratchadamri Road.

You’d think a mall that includes Prada, Dior, Ferragamo, Armani, Hugo Boss, and Louis Vuitton would be a major draw. But many of those same stores can be found just up the street at the equally dear Siam Paragon, which is managed by the same corporation. Siam Paragon is always overflowing with customers. So if you want to avoid the crowds, Gaysorn is the place to go. And since Beachball is the only person I’ve ever heard claim they shop there, there’s always that.

Gaysorn’s location is hard to beat, the white marble and gleaming chrome complex sits on the corner of Ploenchit and Ratchadamri Roads and just across the street from the ginormous Central World Mall, it should be one of Bangkok’s premier shopping destinations. With its five floors filled with a hundred of the highest level of brand name shops, it probably once was Back when the exchange rate favored touri from the west. Nowadays, not so much. Where once the value of the baht meant picking up items from Fendi at the price of a song, now that same merchandise costs the same as it did back home. If not more. Bangkok is a major shopping destination but it gained that rep because of the deals to be had. Those great bargains are no longer in existence at Gaysorn.

Gaysorn Plaza features five floors of shopping. And zero customers.

For some visitors the mall still offers goods not available in their home country, and for those in Bangkok on business staying at one of the nearby five star hotels, a quick dash into the deserted mall satisfies their need for picking up a small token of their affection for those left at home. The mall also serves consumers who don’t quite understand the difference between buying Prada off the rack and an original because the world needs proof that a fool and his money are soon parted.

Having said all of that Gaysorn is probably the mall I’ve been in the most in Bangkok save MBK. It is a great shot of air conditioned comfort when used as a short cut out onto Ratchadamri Road. The decorations used in the mall’s soaring rotunda are always worth a few minuets of your time, and Gaysorn’s Christmas decorations are first rate too. So it is a great mall to ooh and ahh at even if you don’t drop any baht there.

Not that the mall is completely devoid of shopping experiences for the average touri. There is now a branch of Bookazine on the same level as the entrance to the BTS Station, making’s Gaysorn’s branch one of the easiest to get to in town. And Thann, one of my – meaning Noom’s – favorite brands of smelly stuff has an outlet tucked into a uniquely decorated restaurant that takes on the appearance of a leafy jungle made from corrugated cardboard at the foot of the escalators leading into the mall from the BTS, and also a full-scale spa, Thann Sanctuary, which was voted one of the Top 55 spas in the world by Conde Nast Traveller Magazine. No happy endings available, just to keep the record straight, but at 3,500 baht for a short-time 70 minute spa treatment you’d expect something to put a smile on your face. Equally enticing, at least aroma-wise, is the Bangkok’s branch of Davidoff where you can ponder why it is that when cigars smell so bad when lit while in mass and filling a small store their aroma can be so heavenly.

The decorations in Gaysorn Plaza’s rotunda are spectacular during the Christmas holiday season.

Whether the stores in Gaysorn actually make money, or management has decided to invest a few million baht to entice customers inside, plans to renovate and expand the ten-year-old mall are afoot. A 1 million baht face lift, under the concept of Gaysorn: The House of Luxe, comes to the existing mall first, which is expected to be completed by the end of next year.

Meanwhile, and scheduled for opening in 2014, a 3.5 billion baht, 30 floor retail/office mixed use mall will be built next door between Gaysorn and the Arnoma Hotel under the name of La Maison which the developer describes as a hub of luxury lifestyle products. The enlarged upscale shopping center will continue to buck the trend with no anchor department store, supermarket, food court, or cinema, but hopes to make its corner of Ratchaprasong into one of the world’s luxury fashion and lifestyle avenues like Place Vendo’me in Paris and Ginza in Tokyo.

If you are looking for a cool, quite, classy place to window shop but not buy, Gaysorn Plaza is the place. If you are looking for designer wear at cut-rate prices you’ll be better off shopping for knock-offs at the night market down the street.

The Thann Cafe at Gaysorn Plaza has a cool decor and offers one of Thailand’s best lines of smelly stuff.

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In a huge metropolis filled with shopping malls, Pratunam Centre finds itself playing Where’s Waldo.

The idea for Pratunam Centre probably looked good on paper. Execution, however, has not gone well. Another shopping mall in a district filled with shopping malls, even a downscale one mall aimed at the 99%, might just be one too many. With all the shopping opportunities within a five minute walk, the Centre needed to stand out from the crowd, it needed a draw. It just never quite found one.

Years ago, next to Gaysorn Plaza there was an old worn shopping arcade with a basement filled with cheap clothes, jewelry, silk, and those products the government tries to market as OTOP (One Tambon, One Product) – supposedly native handicrafts made in villages that help sustain rural life. It was a crowded dark ramshackle affair, a street market under a roof (okay technically under a floor) where savvy shoppers could pick up great deals and less savvy touri could still find bargains.

Cashing in on its proximity to the wholesale Pratunam market, a small sign dangled precariously at the top of the stairs leading down into the black hole of Bangkok that promised wholesale goods were available inside. They were. But you had to search those vendors out, separating the wheat from the chaff, or in this case the wholesalers from the knock-off T-shirt vendors. It was a lackadaisical attempt at a wholesale market that worked nonetheless. And it was one of those places that just screamed Bangkok.

The first two floors of Pratunam Centre are filled with OTOP products, as well as with pirated DVD sellers.

Developers, not happy with the status quo, decided an upgrade was needed. And built the 4 story Pratunam Centre down the street at the corner of New Petchburi and Ratchaprarop Roads. That should be a great location. And will be when they find the right identity for the mall. But they started with moving all the tenants out of the old place and tearing it down. And the plans were to expand the number of wholesale silver dealers, enough to fill the entire basement level of the new mall. They did manage to convince more silver and jewelry wholesaler to set up shop there but never have found enough to fill the floor. And they did no better with the first two floors, which were supposed to be devoted to OTOP products. As long as you consider pirated DVD’s to be a handicrafts.

Somewhere in the middle of nearby Platinum Mall and Gaysorn, both in quality and price of goods offered and the press of shoppers crowding the aisles, Pratunam Center had a small but loyal following. If you were looking to buy small quantities of merchandise and knew how to haggle prices the shopping mall was a bonanza. Even strictly retail shoppers could find good deals there, easily half off what the same merchandise would run you at the far more popular and often over-crowded MBK mall.

But retail is a numbers game and the number of shoppers directly corresponds to the number of baht flowing into store owners’ bank accounts. The mall never managed to deliver on the former which resulted in a steady decline of the latter. In 2011, Great China Millennium Co., operators of the Bobae wholesale market, bought out the former owners and spent about 5 billion baht to renovate the barely five-year-old complex.

Some of the best prices on silver jewelry in Bangkok can be found at Pratunam Centre’s basement Grand Silver Center.

The new owners renamed the mall Palladium Square, and then renamed it again to Palladium World Shopping even while renovation were still underway. It seems even with new ownership the mall is still suffering from an identity crisis. That may change if their plans for the enormous complex come to fruition. Working off the original scheme, Palladium World is intended to be a combo wholesale/retail extravaganza shopping experience, complete with a ginormous food court, super market, theater, and hotel. Or as they put it: The Kingdom of the Shopping Variety In Lifestyle As You. Okay, so may be the marketing department is a bit confused over the mall’s identity too.

If they can get the word out in a language understandable by the shopping public, Palladium’s food court already is enough to entice the public through the mall’s doors. Food courts are popular among touri and locals alike. All large malls have at least one. But both nearby Platinum and Pantip Plaza have food courts that were afterthoughts, small cramped affairs that can never handle the crush of shoppers that flock to those two malls. And the packed lanes that make up the Pratunam Wholesale Market, just across the streets, are filled with shoppers who need both food and a bit of air-conditioning to soothe their weary bodies. Palladium’s food court could easily fill that need and put the mall on the map. Provided anyone can figure out where Floor B2 is. I’m very familiar with the mall and I haven’t a clue where that floor would be.

It seems management has copied the humongous Central World, just up the street, in it’s layout nomenclature. Zones are important in that scheme. Laying your mall out so customers can determine where they want to go or where in the hell they are it isn’t. Central World gets away with it because of size and fame. Palladium is already fighting an image problem, confusing potential customers over something as simple as its layout isn’t the best idea. But maybe when the supermarket goes in, which is suppose to be on the same floor, and the 800 room 5 star hotel gets built along with the movie theater things will make more sense. Whether or not the mall will be able to attract enough tenants to fulfill their plans – which includes a daily customer count of at least 200,000 – though, remains to be seen.

Pratunam Centre has been rebranded as Palladium Shopping World. What that has to do with polar bears is beyond me.

Even in its current half-way there mode, Palladium is a good place for touri to load up on souvenirs and gifts from their trip. Prices are similar, though possibly just slightly higher than you’ll find at the Chatuchak Weekend Market, but at Palladium you’ll be shopping in air-conditioned stores and wandering down aisles that are not packed with what seems like half the population of the city.

The basement’s Grand Silver Jewelry Center offers incredible deals on genuine silver jewelry (as opposed to the questionable silver jewelry you’ll find a night markets), and while the shops there are set up for wholesale customers, most will willingly sell at retail too. Best of all, shop the mall in the late afternoon and as night sets in the street running along the mall’s exterior turns into a night market that is filled with the same goods you’ll find at Patpong’s night market and along Sukhumvit at at least half the price.

In a town known for its shopping, in a district filled with malls catering to all ends of the shopping spectrum, Palladium World Shopping has a difficult row to hoe to cash in on the vast amount of money spent daily by visitors and locals alike as they make offerings to the gods of consumerism. If the new owners can figure out just what their mall is supposed to be, they may be looking at Bangkok’s newest shopping hit. If not, expect the mall to change hands again within the next two years.

The night market at Pratunam offers better prices and more unusual merchandise than what you’ll find at the better known Patpong night market, or along Sukhumvit’s cramped sidewalks.

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Lady Gaga landed in the City of Angels and stirred up the little devils with a welcoming tweet in which she said she was excited in be in Bangkok and was looking forward to getting lost in a lady market and buying a fake Rolex. Not realizing the diva du jour already gets enough publicity, her comments drew outrage from Thais. It was not her veiled reference to the ready availability of prostitution that upset them mind you, but her remark about the ready availability of knock-off merchandise in Thailand’s capital city.

No stranger to controversy, but rather having built a career around it, I doubt Lady Gaga is overly concerned about the mini furor her tweet caused. Still, out of cultural sensitivity, she may hesitate in asking where in town she should shop for her fake Rolex. Since her posse landed her ass at the airport no one uses any longer I doubt if they’d know. And while I wouldn’t know a Lady Gaga song if it bit me in the ass (which isn’t an age thing, I’d do no better trying to come up with anything by Madonna) she has been supportive of the gay community so I thought I’d return the favor and give her the low down on her best shopping choices while she’s in the Big Mango.

Khaosan Road. Bangkok’s backpacker ghetto is a perfect place for the good Lady to go for a shopping spree. Even if she wore the rubber dress she landed in, no one would bat an eye. In fact she’d be hard pressed to look stranger than those who haunt the area. Rolex-wise though this is not the best place to buy a fake watch. The vendors know the farang touri who frequent Khaosan are not savvy world travellers. There’s also the karma payback for the blight they inflict on the town by their mere presence. Gaga can find her Rolex here but she’ll pay at least 2,500 baht for it. And that’s only if she gets someone in her entourage to bargain hard for the watch.

Patpong. Gaga’s time in Bangkok will be limited, so a night out in Patpong can take care of both of the things she wants to do while in the Kingdom. ‘Lady market’ is an odd twist of a phrase, but perfectly describes the flesh pots that line the Patpong Night market. So plenty of whores. And even more fake Rolexes. Unless the Boys in Brown decide to hold one of their famous crack-downs thanks to her remarks (which means she’d have to ask rather than point to the watch she’s interested in).

Saving a buck might not be on the agenda of a multimillionaire, but since she could afford the real thing and wants a knock-off instead, getting a good deal should be part of her goal. That won’t happen in Patpong. The vendors there are used to dealing with newbies to the city who haven’t a clue about prices and values. At best, she will be able to snag a fake Rolex for 2,000 baht in Patpong. She can get a lady, or boy, or a combination of the two for the same price.

Pantip Plaza. If you are looking for counterfeit goods there is no better Mecca in town than this multi-floored salute to piracy. Though ostensibly dedicated to computer and technology products, there are vendors here too that offer the latest in knock-off designer watches. You just have to brave the gauntlet of porn dvd sellers to find them. She can also load up on CDs while shopping at Pantip, including her own.

Locals flock to Pantip, though few are interested in knock-off jewelry with all the pirated software on display. Vendors tend to offer better pricing though since they are used to dealing with the local market. So a visit to Pantip could save Gaga a few baht. If she haggles better than she sings she could walk way with her cherished Rolex for as little as 1,800 baht from Pantip.

Sukhumvit. The street from soi 3 to Asoke is littered with vendor stalls nightly and sellers here offer some of the best touri prices in town. That’s because the area is a favorite of sex touri looking to do the town, and its working girls, on the cheap. That many of them are selling fake Rolexes should come as no surprise because many of the women working this area are fake too. Hopefully someone in her posse will tell her the girls along Sukhumvit were not born this way.

Gaga biggest danger in hitting Sukhumvit is that she may get mistaken for a ladyboy. But then that could mean landing a customer who is not a cheap bastard and who will buy a fake rolex for her. That’s a win-win, with an orgasm thrown in on top. If she doesn’t luck out in the customer department and has to buy her own watch, this is probably the best place in town due to her tight schedule to grab a good deal. Her best bet is to barter hard then walk away; that’ll get the vendor to drop his price by another 100 baht or so and she’ll get her fake Rolex for as little as 1,500 baht.

Regardless of where Gaga shops for her fake Rolex or how much she pays, it will stop working within the year. But then that will give her an excuse to return to Thailand soon, and that will make a lot of little Thai monsters quite happy.

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