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…dancing with the devil in the city of angels…

~ Ramblings, Rumblings and Travel Tales: Bangkok and Beyond

…dancing with the devil in the city of angels…

Category Archives: Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

Tons of info about travelling in Thailand.

TIT: The Times They Are A-Changin’

09 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in This Is Thailand . . .

≈ 2 Comments

As happy as Thailand is becoming, for some there's little change.

As happy as Thailand is becoming, for some there’s little change.

First the came for the sexpats on visa runs and I did not speak out –
Because I was not a sexpat.
Then they came for the beach umbrellas and I did not speak out –
Because I use a SPF 45 sunblocker.
Then they came for the street vendors and I did not speak out –
Because I don’t really need another knock-off Rolex watch . . .

I hate to be one of those people who bemoans how things used to be, who rallies against the changes brought on by progress and the passage of time, who longs for the return of the good old days. But sometimes it’s unavoidable. Sometimes those changes aren’t necessarily for the good. Sometimes those good old days really were better. And sometimes it just pisses me off that Bangkok is far too quickly losing the exotic, wonderland appeal that I fell in love with decades ago.

There are things I miss that even I have to agree their loss really was a gain. Like the wide open expanse that Sukhumvit once was. Okay, so it was always a wide open expanse filled with cars playing parking lot, but the boulevard was open to the skies and the street’s hustle and bustle played out under the sun’s warming rays. Then they built the BTS. And the Sukhumvit of my youth became a shadow of its former self. Dark, cramped, and now slightly sinister looking – even if you don’t consider the Nigerian pimps and drug pushers – the tangled mess of barely overhead power lines and trash-filled gutters serving as a play pen for the city’s rat population took on a more ominous tone, prophetically filled with the light-blocking over-sized asses of women in burkas accompanying their men folk to whom Bangkok’s appeal is all those things they could face capital punishment for back home.

The street scene along Sukhumvit has changed over the years, and sometimes not.

The street scene along Sukhumvit has changed over the years, and sometimes not.

But progress is what progress does and while the BTS cast its shadow upon what once was my playground, it also offered the opportunity to rise above it all, and be whisked past the stalled traffic at a mere 10 baht per ride. Now, I can’t imagine Bangkok without the Skytrain’s ease of getting around town and the air-conditioned journeys to my favorite shopping malls. I no longer have to attempt to negotiate a fare with a scamming taxi driver, no longer have to consider if the distance is short enough to risk my life in a tuk tuk. And while Sukhumvit no longer has the appeal it once did, now I can stay there and get to Soi Twilight within five minutes for 30 baht thanks to the BTS.

Landing at Don Muang was the perfect start to your holiday in the Bangkok of yesteryear. It looked, felt, and smelled just like the city did. Then Suvarnabhumi came along and its antiseptic greeting to the Land of Smiles foretold the changes awaiting your arrival some 45 minutes and a 500 baht scam later. I never understood those who bitched and moaned non-stop about the new airport. It’s an airport. It’s a place of transit. You’re not suppose to spend your afternoon there. But now, upon reflection, I think it wasn’t Suvarnabhumi itself that had the old-timers’ panties in a wad. It was what the new airport signified: a change to the Bangkok we’d all grown to love. And an end to life as we once knew it.

But Suvarnabhumi was progress too. Even if it being built was more about lining the pockets of Prime Minister Thaksin than it was about upgrading one of the city’s major transportation hubs. At least greed, corruption, cronyism, and kick-backs were part of Thailand’s landscape that we were all familiar with. Not so with the changes being imposed by The Good General. In his stated attempt at making Thailand a happy place, while power may still be the root cause of his brand of evil, the changes he’s championing are having a far more insidious effect on the Thailand we once knew.

Is it progress or is Bangkok just going to the dogs?

Is it progress or is Bangkok just going to the dogs?

You can laugh at the notion that beach umbrellas are being banned from use on the country’s shores. And even agree that cutting down on the low-lifes who used visa runs to over-stay their time in the country is a good thing. And stamping out corruption is a noble goal, if perhaps an quixotic endeavor. But now the Good General is taking his happy campaign to the streets. And as Howard Beale put it in Network, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

Okay, so maybe cutting down on the number of street vendors isn’t all that bad of an idea. It actually might be nice to be able to use the sidewalks in Bangkok for walking. But I’m not sure the hustle without the bustle is the best answer. Street vendors are an integral part of the Bangkok experience. They’re like having a 7/11 spread along your entire path. You can buy souvenirs, the clothes you’ll wear tomorrow, and the protection – or assistance – you’ll need for tonight, all while you stroll back to your hotel. And without stall after stall lining both sides and sometimes the middle of the sidewalk, what excuse will German tourists have for standing and blocking those sidewalks in the future?

There may be those who think The Good General’s plan to upgrade the piers used by the express boats on the Chao Phraya is the good kind of progress too. But for me that just means one more of those things that made Bangkok Bangkok that will soon be but a distant memory. Watching a too prim Queen attempt an athletic leap to board a river boat is one of the joys of Bangkok. And when you take the danger out of using the piers, those boats will be filled with sun-burned farang faces, the very people you attempt to avoid by using water transportation in the first place. Next thing ya know they’ll be marking the piers clearly so touri will know when to get off. And then there will no longer be that small thrill in telling some lost soul the pier for the Grand Palace was two stops ago.

Or is it just a case of the blind leading the blind.

Or is it just a case of the blind leading the blind.

But I’m a live and let live kind of guy, and even though I’m usually too drunk to consider joining Alcoholics Anonymous, I too realize there are some things you have no control over and that you should accept those things you cannot change. Especially since I’m a guy and hate carrying around a pocketful of change anyway. But that too is on The Good General’s agenda. It’s no longer just Bangkok’s street vendors under attack. The city’s beggars who use stairs as chairs and open sidewalk areas as passing lanes to crawl along too have now found themselves facing The Good General’s wrath.

By now everyone knows those heart-wrenching scenes of homeless mothers and their urchinesque babies are as real as the love you can find in a gogo bar. Or if you didn’t, you know do. Those panhandlers are brought in by the mafia, assigned a child, and sent out to fleece the kind-hearted tourists who wouldn’t give the homeless in their home country a passing glance. Ditto for the cute tykes selling day-old flowers who interrupt you hitting on the beer bar boys; they too are just another money-stream for the city’s criminal master-minds. But according to The Good General the blind singers begging for baht while you beg them to quit screeching in your ear, and the slithering limbless who still manage to find a way to hold out their beggar’s cup, too are part of mafia and the result of Thailand’s trafficking problem. ‘Cuz its not just young women and fishing boat slaves at risk. The disabled too are being sold into a life of begging for tourist dollars.

Of course as anyone who has taken Anti-trafficking 101 knows, the best answer to the human trafficking problem is to arrest those who’ve been trafficked. So earlier this week Bangkok’s police announced they’d arrested 101 of Bangkok’s panhandlers. According to police General Siwara Rangsiphraphamonkun, his boys in brown divided the criminals into three separate and distinct groups: the blind who use speakers to play their accompanying music (beggars who qualify as being both blind and deaf), those with “troubling-to-unbelievable physical deformities”, and those who are just mentally ill (which would account for the 23 foreigners caught up in the police department’s panhandler sweep).

The changing face of Thailand is evident regardless of your level of perspective.

The changing face of Thailand is evident regardless of your level of perspective.

The Boys In Brown are using a little known and never before used law from 1941 that prohibits panhandling. And while some may think it’s criminal to arrest disabled beggars, those caught in the sweep are being sent to the Thanyaburi Homeless Shelter in Pathum Thani to receive career training. Or at least singing lessons.

Bangkok’s homeless always made for a good photo op; its begging urchins were easier to step over than trying to get around a slow moving dowager armed with an umbrella at eye height. And while a limbless man slithering along the sidewalk was never the Disneyland-like encounter you might think it would be, they did make for a good place to ditch the worthless satang that had been weighing down your pocket. And collectively, those folk made Bangkok part of what made Bangkok. The Good General’s plan to arrest them, just because they can’t run fast enough to get away, seems like a cheap shot. And if he really wants to clear the rubbish from Bangkok’s streets, why doesn’t he do something about those hilltribe ladies and their fucking wooden, croaking frogs?

Bangkok has always had a vibrant street scene. And yes, that included vendors selling everything under the sky, wretched looking mothers and not their young, blind karaoke aficionados, and slithering paraplegics. But when they come for the homeless, the disabled, and the disenfranchised, who’s next? The ladyboy hustlers? The helpful, friendly locals who know about a secret one day only state sponsored gem sale? The whispering sexy dvd sellers? Someday soon Bangkok’s streets may look just like those in any other major metropolitan area. It seems that’s what The Good General wants. But if he gets his way, I think Bangkok will be much less for it. Besides, once the sidewalks are cleared of vendors, beggars, and the homeless, what will keep tuk tuk drivers from using them as a thoroughfares?

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This Is Thailand #1

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Where You Stay?

03 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in Tips

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Hotels and Restaurants, Stupid Tourist Tricks

Sometimes it's about where you stay, others about who you stay with.

Sometimes it’s about where you stay, others about who you stay with.

In case you missed it, there’s a young(ish) Canadian sexpat offering his master bedroom to travelers visiting Khon Kaen. Snagging a booking may be a bit difficult as he has a perfect record of setting up rendezvous with fellow travelers and then failing to show. But the room comes with amenities, including overflowing ashtrays, dog hair, and an incredible assortment of creepy-crawlies. And there is no joiner fee as he has a strict policy against joiners. On the plus side, for a limited time only visitors can help him learn how to use Grindr, ‘cuz his career writing computer code hasn’t prepared him to master the simple task of working a phone app on his own.

While travelers visiting Khon Kaen may have few places of accommodations to choose from, Bangkok and Pattaya offer a smorgasbord of hotels, motels, love rooms, and hostels for every budget and every taste. But some visitors want more. They want to not only book a room, but book a friend for life too. And there is no better way of doing that than staying in some stranger’s house. ‘Cuz if you can land a boyfriend in Thailand by opening your wallet, just think of the friends you can make by paying them to host your visit to their country.

Thanks to Mister BNB you too can now pass on those antiseptic lodgings offered by greedy corporations like Marriott, Hyatt, and Starwood, and instead book your room with a friendly gay Donald Trump wannabe. Sure, their website is a bit difficult to navigate and appears to be developed by a computer-coding Canadian sexpat who can’t figure out how to use Grindr, but that’s just part of the experience. So while it may take you a few dozen clicks to sort through the mess, once you do you’ll not only find photos of the places people want to rent in their homes in Thailand, but profile photos of who you’ll be staying with too. So who needs Grindr?

Here are a few of the wonderful gay hosts just waiting to book you in Bangkok and Pattaya:

brains

Where Sleeping Dogs Lie
Why make that long trek to Khon Kaen when you can lie down with the dogs in Bangkok? Brian, who from his profile photo looks like he’s found more than one way to make a few spare bucks, has a simple room in a row house just a 15 minute walk through a Thai/Chinese neighborhood to the closest BTS station for a mere $50 per night. And you’ll probably want to spend those 15 minutes walking the house’s dog to avoid any unpleasantness when walking through your accommodations barefoot.

nams

A Night With Angry Lesbians
Nam is a 43-year-old single English speaking Bangkokian who offers room in his 2 Bedroom apartment for just $82 per night. He doesn’t offer much in the way of details about his rental, but does provide lots of photos, all of which highlight his choice of angry lesbian decor. If you’ve ever wondered about those travelers who claim where you stay isn’t that important ‘cuz you spend so little time there anyway, a night at Nam’s should clarify that sentiment. Or just scare the bejesus out of you.

Mickaels

When Dead Animals Make you Blue
Mickael too has opted to go with the Horror Tourism route, offering his aptly named ‘Blue Room’ on Sukhumvit Soi 26 at a terrifying rate of $190 per night. The room comes with its own bathroom, and a private balcony which you may find a new use for after spending a night trying to not walk on the dead animal pelts used as carpeting. Mickael too has a bit of a sinister look about him, which becomes even a bit more worrisome when he describes that balcony’s location as “a single throw from transport.” But if you haven’t worked up the balls for a visit to Bar Bar, Bangkok’s #1 SM club, I get the felling Mickael will only be too happy to show you the sights.

Angrits

Boot Camp For Your Booty
Angkrit is a 35-year-old Thai world traveler who has decorated his abode with buys he made at flea markets in Europe and the UK, which must feature lots of military surplus. Located in the Silom area, within walking distance to the night market and Silom Soi 2 and 4, he, an expat, and a pink traveler offer comfy bunk beds for $11 per night in his “homely gay friendly house.” He says he “enjoys hosting people, enjoys food and making them, bakery and baking them, people and meeting them.” So he may be a friend of Mickael’s. But at $11 a night, who cares?

farouks

Nothing Says Home Or Harem Like Mosquito Netting
“A true Budweiser, an original Bohemian and a confirmed Bunburyist!” who “loves Stephen Fry, adores Edina & Patsy, and no one makes me laugh like Miranda does!” Farouk is a 36-year-old “Czech Egyption Expat” who has a private and spacious master bedroom for rent at $33 per night in a duplex that belongs to his business partner. Located in the heart of Bangkok´s Central Business District, the room comes with its own bathroom, a 60″ TV, DVD, WiFi, Air-con, Storage space, Maid service, a balcony, 24 hours security service, and fire and heat sensors in all rooms and common areas. Plus mosquito netting. More importantly, Farouk wants you to know hes has a “body thankful and active” which must work well with being an “easygoing creature with a passion for discovery.” Swipe left.

johns

Decorative Soaps All In A Row
Mister BNB lists rooms in both gay and gay-friendly houses, but when one of the room photos features decorative soaps all in a row, ya know the place belongs to a friendly gay. And that’d be John,a 29-year-old who offers a cozy room in his nice apartment for a nightly fee of $36. John doesn’t offer much way in the way of descriptions of his rental, but ain’t no slouch in the marketing department as he’s listed his place twice, each with a different profile pic. And at that price John looks like a keeper.

noppadols

The Blue Man Group Sex
Noppadol, who is a 49-year-old gay couple, know what visitors to Pattaya really want. Wink, wink. And while a room rate of $39 a night might be more than Pattaya aficionados like to pay, The Noppadol defuses that nasty bit of detail by letting you know Nude OK! right off the bat. It/They also want you to know “we do not simply offer “only” guest rooms, (wink, wink) but does offer “always nice other guests (wink, wink). And in case you missed it, at The Noppadol’s “everything you are looking for you can find here” (wink, wink).

stettcos

It’s All Greek To Me
Stettcos (whether that’s a person or a thing is up for debate) on the other hand doesn’t seem to quite grasp the allure of Pattaya. Or its fans’ spending habits. The former he/it calls “the Beverly Hills on the eastern seaboard” and for the latter his/its rates run $325 per night. But it’s a villa, not just a room, which unfortunately is “too difficult to describe.” But then the “extra-ordinary and tastefully decorated” abode’s photos speak for themselves.

Paween

Thanks, I Will Name It
Paween is a 27-year-old with a 1 Bedroom apartment for two in Silom at $60 per night. He ensures a “home-like experience” and after listing a smattering of amenities finishes his description off with “you name it”. Cool. ‘Cuz I don’t need to see the room, I’m just naming it Paween. And I can’t wait to check in.

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Bangkok Gay Gogo Bar Dos And Don’ts For The Newbie: The Hotel Room Edition

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Phuket Dreaming

02 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in This Is Thailand . . .

≈ Comments Off on Phuket Dreaming

Tags

Movies & Television, Phuket

Uh, that'd be a wet dream.

Uh, that’d be a wet dream.

When you hear about fists flying in a Thailand resort town you probably think about incidences like the ladyboy in Pattaya who recently clobbered a Polish tourist with the spiked end of her high-heel shoe for interfering with the katoey’s attempt at soliciting the woman’s husband. But as is usually the case when it’s Pattaya versus Phuket, the one with clean water and tropical beaches scores the knock out punch. There’s a ladyboy in Phuket who would’ve instead taken on the Polish woman’s husband, and won. And these days, at least down south, there’s a good chance that husband would’ve spent his time in Thailand learning how defend himself instead of trolling Walking Street in an alcoholic daze susceptible to landing a dick when he thought he was getting a chick.

Ever since Parinya Charoenphol, aka Nong Toom, aka the Beautiful Boxer, aka the aforementioned ladyboy who would have been victorious, opened her gym in Phuket, the tropical paradise has become a hotbed of martial arts practioners. Strikers, grapplers, and former college wrestlers looking for a bit of payback for the years spent wearing ball-hugging singlets have flocked to an ever growing number of fight camps nestled among the island’s palm trees to brush up on their Muay Thai and MMA skills. Notable world title holders such as GSP, Anderson Silva, Tito Ortiz, and Roger Huerta have all spent time in Phuket, helping to make it one of the most popular Muay Thai training destinations in the world.

Despite MMA events being banned in Thailand since 2012 because the country’s athletic ministry deemed the popular sport “too brutal” (which is Thai for too much competition for Muay Thai), many MMA fighters make the trek to Phuket to train in Muay Thai because the style teaches how to throw elbow and knee strikes with enough force to cut or even knock out their opponent while in a clinch. Which are some of the most brutal strikes thrown in the sport. World renown schools like Tiger Muay-Thai and Phuket Top Team have filled that need, offering camps where you can train outdoors in the jungle in Phuket. While hordes of tourists flock to Patong Beach to practice the ancient sport of Tourists Gone Wild, many men – and a few women – with superb bodies land in Phuket to work up a sweat honing their skills at beating another human-being bloody. And if that doesn’t make for good TV, I don’t know what does.

Speaking of wet dreams, MMA Champ Roger Huerta spends most of his shirtless time in Phuket these days.

Speaking of wet dreams, MMA Champ Roger Huerta spends most of his shirtless time in Phuket these days.

Phuket Dreaming, which just began its second season, is the number one rated MMA WEB-TV series in the world. Delving into the life of fighters and the culture of Thailand, the reality show features two teams from competing gyms in Phuket as they work, train, and not act like desperate housewives. So it’s not the bloodiest of reality TV shows. But the flesh is all top rank, and the show offers a rare glimpse into the world of MMA fighters.

MMA is the fastest growing sport in the world. And according to some, the gayest sport in the world too. Which alone should be enough to give you an excuse to binge watch Season 1 of Phuket Dreaming. But even if you are not a fan of male bodies with zero body fat, the series still is worth your time. In and amongst the fighters training and actually fighting occasionally, its producers are using their show to highlight many of the more typical attractions of Phuket. Or at least those a MMA junkie would find attractive.

While ladyboys probably still outnumber MMA fighters in Phuket, you won’t find any on Phuket Dreaming (yet). But cock-fighting, shooting guns that are illegal in most parts of the world, cliff diving, ping pong shows, and the Phuket Vegetarian Festival have all been featured during the show’s first season. As did a day-tip to Koh Phi Phi. And if you need a sight to work up a bitch-slap at the least, Leonardo DeCaprio’s The Beach got a nod too. All of which makes the web-based series surprisingly watchable. Well, except for that unfortunate homage to Leo.

There's fight weigh-ins, and then there are championship fight weigh-ins.

There’s fight weigh-ins, and then there are championship fight weigh-ins.

Season 2 of Phuket Dreaming just kicked off with a segment featuring Muay Thai legends Lerdsilla and Nonsai Sor Sanyakorn, both of who use the same sinuous moves you’re probably more familiar with from watching bar boys dance on stage. But killer elbows and knees fly too and even if you don’t appreciate the fighting you’ll still be mesmerized by the fighter’s taut, brown bodies. Which for many is what Thailand is all about.

So if you are stuck thousands of miles away and looking for a touch of Thailand to help keep your dreams and memories alive, Phuket Dreaming might just be the answer. It’s almost as good as a YouTube video of the boys at work at Dreamboys. At least until someone catches a ladyboy going menstrual on an unsuspecting tourist in Pattaya.

(Click for the video of Phuket Dreaming Season Two, Episode 1 . . . Google will help you find the show's entire first season.)

(Click for the video of Phuket Dreaming Season Two, Episode 1 . . . Google will help you find the show’s entire first season.)

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When Patronizing and Protecting Buddhism Means Jailing Gay Monks

30 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in This Is Thailand . . .

≈ Comments Off on When Patronizing and Protecting Buddhism Means Jailing Gay Monks

Guess who The Good General doesn't like now?

Guess who The Good General doesn’t like now?

The Good General has decided Thailand will be a happier place if its monks were a bit less light in their sandals. His junta’s cabinet has approved a bill that would ban gay men from entering the monkhood and is preparing to submit it to the National Legislative Assembly. Included in the proposed legislation is wording that can be used to prosecute – with accompanying jail terms – people who propagate ‘incorrect’ versions of Buddhist doctrines, or cause harm to Buddhism. And that specifically includes prison sentences for homosexual monks. ‘Cuz evidently there’s only one kind of flaming monk the Buddha approves of.

Gay monks are not a new problem in Thailand. Assuming the problem with Maria is one of sexual identity. Back in 2009 there were rumors a ‘good manners guide’ would be published to discourage monks from wearing make-up and tight robes. The guidebook was to also address issues like smoking, drinking alcohol, walking, and going to the toilet properly, but of special concern was the flamboyant behavior of homosexual and transgender monks, who could often be seen wearing revealing robes, carrying pink purses, and sporting effeminately-shaped eyebrows. Because that’s how things are done in Thailand, that guide never materialized. The idea that it would be was enough. Until now. And The Good General doesn’t merely want an etiquette manual (although he feels that would be adequate to solve the Chinese tourist problem) but instead wants a ban on gay monks to become a matter of law.

“Buddhism is one of the pillars of the Thai nation and is the religion that most Thai people adhere to. Therefore, Buddhists should be united in patronizing and protecting Buddhism to make it prosper and enhance Buddhist principles and ethics to develop the quality of one’s life,” the proposed legislation’s preamble reads. The bill would allow the Sangha Supreme Council and the government to punish anyone seen to threaten their version of Buddhism. That includes abbots who ordain – knowingly or unwittingly – monks with ‘deviant sexual behavior’ as well as ‘sexually deviant’ monks who ‘harm and disgrace’ Buddhism.

The Sangha Supreme Council has a good working relationship with The Good General.

The Sangha Supreme Council has a good working relationship with The Good General.

Not that solving the problem of gay monks through legislation is new either. Since 2006, the Sangha Supreme Council (the governing body of Thai Buddhist clergy) and the National Office of Buddhism (the secular office under the Prime Minister’s Office responsible for promoting Buddhism) have unsuccessfully tried to propose a bill to “Patronize and Protect Buddhism” several times. Each attempt was rejected by previous military and civilian governments who instead recommended that the issues raised by the bills should be included in monastic rules, but not apply to the general public. This time around, the results may be different. ‘Cuz The Good General tends to get what The Good General wants.

In Section 8 of the bill, Article 32 states that anyone who propagates wrong versions of Buddhist teachings – meaning versions that differ from those of the Sangha Supreme Council – could face one to seven years imprisonment. Provincial Buddhist committees will be established under Article 14 of Section 3, and one of the functions of these committees would be to form a warning center in each province against threats to the Sangha Supreme Council’s version of Buddhism.

Venerable Phramaha Paiwan Warawunno, a liberal Buddhist monk known for his criticisms of the Sangha Supreme Council, says the content of the bill violates the rights of individuals to interpret the Buddha’s teachings. “Whose interpretations of Buddhist doctrines are correct and shall be used as standards? Who will have the right to judge whether a specific version of the Buddhist doctrines is correct and point out that the others are not?” he questions.

Um, that would be The Good General’s. ‘Cuz he wants Thailand to be a happy place. But not, necessarily, a gay one.

The Good General is against gay monks. Flaming ones, not so much.

The Good General is against gay monks. Flaming ones, not so much.

Venerable Shine Waradhammo, an undergraduate student monk at Wat Mahathat Yuwaratrangsarit’s Mahachulalongkornrajavidyalaya University in Bangkok, said that if the bill is passed it may become the religious version of the controversial Article 112 of the Criminal Code, aka the lèse majesté law. “In order to thrive, religion must always be adaptable to societies to allow people to understand its practices and teachings, including, making itself open for debate and discussion,” he says. The proposed legislation would remove that debate in preference for State sponsored doctrine.

Vichak Panich, an expert on Buddhism and religious studies, pointed out that if the bill on protecting and patronizing Buddhism passes, it will become another obstacle to democracy in Thailand. “This bill will give the Sangha Supreme Council – which is already quite a dictatorial organization since it is not transparent and elected – the power to prosecute not only monks but also lay persons who defy its authority,” he says. His concern is that the version of Theravada Buddhism promoted by the Sangha Supreme Council and the National Office of Buddhism has two all-encompassing functions in Thai society.

“Theravada Buddhism is promoted as a part of the Thai identity and nationalism,” Vichak says. “Moreover, it promotes the intangible concept of virtue and morality over freedom and rights. This lends support and justification for some groups of people in society to judge others.”

“It is no surprise that this bill is being accepted under the current political regime.” adds the religious expert.

If the Bill To Patronize and Protect Buddhism passes, Thailand's monks will only be allowed to play with pussy.

If the Bill To Patronize and Protect Buddhism passes, Thailand’s monks will only be allowed to play with pussy.

Nidhi Eoseewong, a prominent Thai historian and political commentator, says no one really knows what the Lord Buddha taught word by word. “You only have the Tripitaka which was in fact written some 500 years after the Lord Buddha died. Therefore, even the oldest Buddhist scripture is written through an interpretative process,” he says. And unlike with the Christian bible which specifically deems homosexuality to be an abomination – right along side having a tattoo, divorce, wearing polyester or any other fabric blends, and allowing your wife to grab the testicles of the guy you get into a bar fight with – The Buddha never addressed going gay. Whether while wearing saffron or not.

Buddhism teaches to, and expects from, its followers a certain level of ethical behavior. The minimum that is required of the lay Buddhist is embodied in the Five Precepts, the third of which relates to sexual behavior. Since homosexuality as it applies to the layperson is not explicitly mentioned in any of the Buddha’s discourses, and since The Buddha seems to have had a profound understanding of human nature and to have been remarkably free from prejudice, one can assume that under his teachings homosexuality is meant to be evaluated in the same way that heterosexuality is. And unlike the Christian god, The Buddha did not feel sin-free sex was limited to the act of procreation.

In the Pali Canon (the scriptural texts that hold the Buddha’s original teachings) the Buddha describes the Five Precepts – which serve as voluntary guidelines for life and are the bases of Buddhist morality – as gifts toward oneself and others. The Third Precept – I undertake the training rule to avoid sensual misconduct – is further expounded upon in the Anguttara Nikaya, one of the numerous discourses ascribed to the Buddha contained within the Sutta Pitaka which covers the actions of non-monastic followers. In that text, sex with mutual consent – where adultery is not involved, and where both partners are of an appropriate age – is viewed as an expression of love, respect, loyalty, and warmth. Which follows the dictates of the Five Precepts. Whether between two people of opposite genders or not.

The Buddha never said that gay people were bad. Cruising for sex is a different matter.

The Buddha never said that gay people were bad. Cruising for sex is a different matter.

The picture in the first of the three Tripitaka , the Vinaya, is a bit different. The Vinaya concerns itself with rules for monks and nuns and deals with all kinds of possible sexual behaviors. None of which are allowed by the Buddha. In fact, the Vinaya explicitly forbids monks from having sexual relations with any of the four genders. Two of those you are probably already familiar with. The third gender, ubhatovyanjañaka, is usually thought to describe people who have both male and female sexual characteristics (i.e., hermaphrodites and the intersex . . . like Bruce Jenner). The fourth gender is the pandaka, a complex category that is variously defined in different Buddhist texts, sometimes as homosexuals, sometimes merely as the hyper sexually promiscuous. However, The Story of the Prohibition of the Ordination of Pandaka from the Vinaya provides an example of a monk with an insatiable desire to be sexually penetrated by men, so both may be true. And in either case, it’s doubtful any fan of Sunee Plaza will ever be wearing saffron.

However. while homosexuality is explicitly mentioned in the Vinaya, and prohibited, it is not singled out for special condemnation, but rather is considered one of many forms of sexual misconduct contravening the rule that requires monks and nuns to be celibate. In several cases the penalty is actually less in the case of homosexual behavior. For example, for a monk to erotically touch another man is a less serious offence than the same act with a woman, which is a big no-no. In fact, the Buddha’s criticism of a monk who broke his celibate vows is especially snarky:

“Worthless man, it would be better that your penis be stuck into the mouth of a poisonous snake than into a woman’s vagina. It would be better that your penis be stuck into the mouth of a black viper than into a woman’s vagina. It would be better that your penis be stuck into a pit of burning embers, blazing and glowing, than into a woman’s vagina.”

What's a gay monk to do?

What’s a gay monk to do?

Kinda makes ya wanna swear off vagina for life. Which many of us already have. But within Theravada Buddhism, sex alone is not the sole principal transgression that entails expulsion from the Sangha. Theft, murder, and falsely boasting of superhuman perfections are viewed as equally bad offenses. And are as frequently committed by members of the clergy in Thailand if news media reports are to be believed. Monks behaving badly is a common enough subject in the news that you have to wonder why it is only the gay monks that The Good General and the Sangha Supreme Council single out in the proposed legislation.

The Buddha’s proscriptions against certain types of people joining the ordained community are often understood to reflect his concern with upholding the public image of the Sangha as virtuous; social acceptability was as vital for the clergy in his time – since it could not survive without material support from lay society – as it is today. In fact, seemingly in accordance with the Buddha’s wishes, back in 1989 the Sangha Supreme Council affirmed that ladyboys are prohibited from being ordained. But since Buddhist monastic rules already stipulate that monks must be celibate, the intent behind the proposed legislation is troublesome.

“It seems as if people who took part in writing this bill hold prejudiced views against people with alternative sexes and genders,” says Venerable Shrine. “This is a form of violence and a violation of human rights because naturally gender and sex can’t be straightforwardly defined as male and female.”

He believes that if the bill passes into law, its application will be problematic because it is based on prejudice and discriminates against monks with alternative sexes and genders. Which is an act the Buddha never blessed. Regardless of how happy its passage may The Good General make.

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Wat Yai Sawang Arom Is Golden

16 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in Wats of Thailand

≈ 4 Comments

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Wats

Wat Yai Sawang Arom 1

As popular as they are on the internet, I don’t post cute videos of kittens doing funny things on this blog. Not just because of my general aversion to pussy, but because cats are vile, vindictive, evil creatures who are only in it for themselves. They may have others fooled, but I know what we really need to fear is not the zombie apocalypse but rather the day the cats decide to make their move. Besides, I’ve always thought the pix of naked Asian dudes I post are all the daily dose of cuteness ya really need.

My mom has a cat. I’ve never bothered to learn what its name is. ‘Cuz Lucifer works just as well. When I visit, it runs and hides in some dark little corner of the house. Which, temporarily, is the closest to its home turf – hell – that it can find. Moms thinks it just doesn’t like men. Which alone would be reason enough to despise the creature. But I know what it doesn’t like are my hiking boots. And walls. I never said cats aren’t intelligent. Or at least trainable.

Moms thinks she’s trained her cat too. ‘Cuz she has a two foot square area of her home designated as an open sewer for the cat to shit and piss in when it isn’t busy shitting and pissing in some other part of the house that for some unfathomable reason pissed it off. So just who trained who is debatable. That cats are evil is not. Just consider that when the gods were creating the world and finally got down to felines, the cat said, “Hey, ya know what? When you make our penis, make it barbed.”

That’s what my psyche reminds me of anytime I see a cat. Barbed penis. I’d post a photo for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, but with the bee penis photo I posted last week still freshly in your minds, that may be too much. It could be the straw that broke the camel’s back. And then in your weakened mental state, you’d end up going out and buying a cat for a pet.

Wat Yai Sawang Arom 2

Dogs are an entirely different matter. Okay, not Chihuahuas. Chihuahuas are not really dogs. They’re the failed attempt by The Cat Agenda to breed with another species to fool humans while they populated the world with Satan’s spawn. But real dogs, those whose height comes up to your knee, are a bountiful blessing of pure love. They are the Thai bar boy of the animal world. As long as you take care of them, they will do anything for you. They are always happy to see you, and no matter how long it’s been since the last time they locked eyes with you, when you return again the joy on their faces is like their entire world has just begun again.

So while it is not unusual (nor exciting) to run across a cat at a Wat in Thailand, supposedly as a deterrent to rats – as though that was the real problem – meeting a temple’s dog helps remind you of what The Buddha is all about. Dogs are enlightened animals. They exhibit all the principles that Buddhism teaches. And I’m pretty sure when you’ve lived the best life you can, your final reward is to be reincarnated as a dog.

Which brings us to Wat Yai Sawang Arom, a temple in Thailand I’ve never visited. But now plan to. That’s the nice thing about being a wataholic. There is always yet another temple to discover. And this one not only has a temple dog, but a pack of them. Better yet, Wat Yai Sawang Arom’s wolf-pack is 99% It’s-All-About-Love golden retrievers. Which also brings us to my first ever embedded video. ‘Cuz making you click over to watch the video wouldn’t be in the spirit of a golden retriever. (Whereas with a cat you’d not only have to click but doing so would take you to a site showing lesbian porn.)

(Okay. So WordPress is evidently run by a cat. You can’t embed videos. Or maybe only videos of dogs are not allowed. So you will have to click on this photo after all.

Wat Yai Sawang Arom 3

But I promise it is not of lesbians.)

As for the wat itself, there’s a Wat Yai Sawang Arom in/on/by Koh Kret, one down by Phuket, one in Singburi province, and one up by Chiang Mai. So I’m not yet sure which has the golden retrievers. The one in Singburi has a huge collection of Nang Yai (over-sized shadow puppets) and is one of the few places in Thailand you can still watch a performance of this traditional art. So even without the dogs it’d still be a cool place to visit. And I’ve been looking for a better excuse than pottery to hit Koh Kret, so maybe a day playing with dogs might do the trick.

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TIT: Buddhist Monks 1, Catholic Priests 0

02 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in This Is Thailand . . .

≈ Comments Off on TIT: Buddhist Monks 1, Catholic Priests 0

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Ladyboys

Monks Gone Wild! continues to be a Thai viewing favorite.

Monks Gone Wild! continues to be a Thai viewing favorite.

You’d think a Buddhist monk out for a hot night on Soi Cowboy would be smart enough to leave the saffron robes at home. But Thais, with a national mindset of their own when it comes to what goes viral on the internet, are all atwitter over a photo that appeared last week of a venerable monk getting a little touchy-feely with a woman’s boob. Monks, in case you didn’t know it, are not suppose to touch women. Period. (No pun intended.) And unlike the dictate against Catholic priests diddling little altar boys, in Buddhism they take that shit seriously.

The monk – and boob – in question are already under investigation by the National Office of Buddhism, a local version of the Spanish Inquisition, with said monk facing the possibility of being de-frocked. The irony of which is that’s what kinda got him in hot water in the first place. The boob involved is facing an even harsher sentence: the ire and pure snarkiness of the internet. While most commenting on the photo published by an anti-superstition website, Fuck Ghost, were content on calling the boob the little slut that it obviously is, there were also those who preferred the much more personal attack of noting the boob’s owner had turned to a monk for a bit of Buddhist magic to make her tatas bigger. ‘Cuz if there is one thing we know it’s that in the world of the internet there’s no room for something as silly as a little A cup.

Monks behaving badly is the Thai answer to the Kardashians. Seldom a month goes by that some Buddhist monk in Thailand doesn’t get caught acting like a horny co-ed on spring break. Not long ago The Good General’s people floated the idea of issuing wrist-bands to all tourists to help keep track of visitors who misbehave. Maybe a better idea would be to tag the country’s clergy to help keep track of what disgusting things they’re up to. But in this case, now that the internet has had its fun, the truth behind the story has come out. It’s not the fault of a monk gone wild. Instead, the blame can be placed on a ladyboy. Or at least a ladyboy wannabe.

Like all world problems, bad monk behavior can be traced to the violence in movies and television.

Like all world problems, bad monk behavior can be traced to the violence in movies and television.

The boob, which now has a name, Thanradaporn,(or, one has to assume Porn for short) says the monk did not technically violate any rules or taboos about touching women ‘cuz she’s still a he. “I’m still a man, and I haven’t had a sex-change operation or breast implants,” she told the press both to excuse the monk’s behavior and explain her tiny set of titties.

She went on to explain that the monk who won the booby prize is a famous mystic from Cambodia (which is almost as good as having someone from Burma to blame) and that her/his family had hired him, for a religious ceremony at their Bangkok home where he blessed the men by inscribing magical Buddhist symbols on their chests, but only worked his spells on the foreheads of the family’s women. Like a good monk would. Which goes to show you that even an ancient myopic monk in Thailand can tell the difference between a real woman and a ladyboy, even if farang sex tourists can’t.

Porn says he will file a police report to declare his innocence later this week. If he’s smart, he’ll use his newly found fame to start a Kickstarter campaign to fund his sex-change operation while he’s at it. ‘Cuz if Bruce Jenner can get his own reality TV show for becoming the lady he wants to be, Porn should at least get the boobs he so desperately needs.

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The Chinese Are Coming! The Chinese Are Coming!

25 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in This Is Thailand . . .

≈ 2 Comments

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Stupid Tourist Tricks

Mainland Chinese tourists are descending on Thailand in droves, and the people of the Land of Smiles have a special greeting for them.

Mainland Chinese tourists are descending on Thailand in droves, and the people of the Land of Smiles have a special greeting for them.

Farang have been the dominate touri demographic in Thailand for decades. And thanks to the internet, first-time English speaking visitors have a wealth of information at their fingertips. But in addition to ideas of what to do and see while in the kingdom, there’s also a plentiful supply of warnings of things not to do. Like falling for the Grand Palace is Closed scam. Which they do anyway. But at least most visitors pay attention to warnings about cultural no-nos to avoid causing offense, or committing a criminal offense. The Ugly American abroad may not be just a stereotype, but for the most part we’ve learned how to behave ourselves while misbehaving in Thailand.

The Russians had their heyday too. Although it was more of a morning than full day. Loud, obnoxious, and culturally insensitive, not long ago it seemed you couldn’t turn around in Thailand without bumping into an over-weight and in dire need of a shower Russian. Then the ruble went back to being the worthless currency it has historically always been. Do svidaniya Russkies.

The new touri paradigm in the Land of Smiles is mainland Chinese visitors. Thailand is one of China’s largest outbound tourism destinations. According to the Tourism Authority of Thailand, around 4.6 million Chinese tourists arrived in Thailand in 2014, a minor decrease from the previous year due to political instability. You’d think with the historical influx of Chinese immigrants to Thailand those arriving on tourist visas would be easily assimilated into Thai culture. Instead, like those nationalities who’ve come before them, touri behaving badly is the name of the game.

The new face of tourism in Thailand.

The new face of tourism in Thailand.

Farang visitors have been well schooled in the cultural no-nos we’re supposed to avoid. Even if some of those rules make no sense. Never touch a Thai on the head, we’ve been told. But if you’ve ever spent a night enjoying the companionship of a bar boy, it’s difficult to not touch his head when those Siamese ears are just crying out to be used as handles. And while we know it’s rude to point your feet at another person, short of being a talented contortionist that is something difficult to do at times. Chinese tourists have it a bit easier. All they have to learn are a few simple rules. Like not peeing or taking a dump on city streets. For observing cultural sensitivities it may be a case of same same but different, but the Chinese have taken those differences to new heights. And Thailand is not amused.

The most recent incident of Chinese tourists behaving badly happened earlier this week in Chiang Mai. Authorities are looking for a tourist to publicly shame after he single-footedly enraged the nation by kicking a temple bell at the famous temple on top Doi Suthep. Video surfaced online Saturday of the man who is believed to be a visitor from mainland China delivering a deliberate kick to one of the temple’s bells.

Chuan Patwan, an administrator at Doi Suthep Temple, said he could not comment on whether the tourist was Chinese, as he did not witness the incident firsthand. However, he said that many Chinese tourists visited the temple over the weekend. “It will take some time to say whether the tourist is actually Chinese,” Chuan said. “But judging from his style, he was kicking his feet with so much agility, it was like kung fu.”

For Whom The Bell Tolls?

For Whom The Bell Tolls?

Blaming the Chinese may sound like a bit of xenophobic racism, but Chiang Mai has been plagued by rude and obnoxious visitors from mainland China thanks to the movie Lost in Thailand, a 2012 slapstick comedy that is China’s highest-grossing homegrown movie in history. Part of the film was shot at Chiang Mai University and the bucolic, once laid-back campus of one of Thailand’s top universities is now under a security clampdown. Not against a terrorist threat, but against Chinese tourists.

Thousands of tourists have clambered aboard student buses at the university, made a mess in cafeterias, and sneaked into classes to attend lectures. Someone even pitched a tent by the campus’ picturesque lake. Now visitors are restricted to entering through a single gate manned by Mandarin-speaking volunteers who direct Chinese tourists to a line of vehicles for guided tours. Individual visitors are banned, and a sign in prominent Chinese characters requesting that passports be produced is posted by the gate.

And their egregious behavior has spilled over into the surrounding area too. Chiang Mai residents have complained about Chinese visitors defecating in the city’s moat, causing accidents by driving recklessly – which considering the skills of your average Thai behind the wheel is really saying something – and defacing several tourist attractions, including Chiang Rai’s famous White Wat which banned Chinese visitors last year following complaints of “inappropriate toilet usage”. Evidently, like dogs, Chinese tourists feel the need to mark their spot wherever they go.

The sight of Chinese tourists urinating in public has become so widespread the Chinese government produced an animated PSA commercial using the beloved panda to educate its citizen to be aware of their actions when traveling overseas.

The sight of Chinese tourists urinating in public has become so widespread the Chinese government produced an animated PSA commercial using the beloved panda to educate its citizen to be aware of their actions when traveling overseas.

And like a tour bus load of mainland Chinese visitors, the complaints from locals continue to flow. Just this month alone reports surfaced about Chinese visitors breaking off a decades-old wooden stair pole at the Black House Museum in Chiang Rai, and a video that went viral of a Chinese woman drying her underwear on the back of a chair in Chiang Mai airport caused locals to cry enough is enough.

The Good General’s people have responded by printing etiquette manuals in Mandarin to instruct mainland Chinese visitors on proper museum behavior, requesting that paintings are not touched, warning against using public property as lavatory facilities, and encouraging proper driving behavior, according to the Tourist Authority of Thailand office in Chiang Mai.

Those manuals should make good reading material on the planes that drop thousands of mainland Chinese into Thailand daily. But that’s assuming they have the time to read the Thai government’s publication since they already have to wade through their own government’s 64-page “Guidebook for Civilized Tourism” which includes a long list of do nots, including nose-picking in public, stealing life jackets from airplanes, and slurping down noodles.

The Ugly American has been redefined by the mainland Chinese tourist.

The Ugly American has been redefined by the mainland Chinese tourist.

That publication came about last year after Chinese Vice Premier Wang Yang said Chinese tourists’ negative conduct had “damaged the image of the Chinese people.” It urges travelers abroad to “abide by the norms of civilized tourist behavior.” Which, you have to assume was a bit too long to read on the Thai Air Asia flight that had to return to Bangkok after a Chinese couple became verbally abusive and poured hot water on a flight attendant. Ditto for the group of Chinese tourists who pushed over protective barricades at the Grand Palace to take a few selfies a few days later.

So it’s no wonder that in Thailand the Chinese have become the new Ugly American. Even when the blame, at times, seems to be placed on the wrong shoulders. Among the love ’em / hate ’em initiatives recently undertaken by the Thai government is a crack down on Chinese tourists who buy illegal ivory products during their stay in the Kingdom. According to Natural Resources and Environment Minister Dapong Ratanasuwan, this violation of Thai and international law has become far too common. “Buying these products is illegal. If Chinese tourists try to take them out of the country, they will face legal action,” he says warning that could include a free stay in a Thai jail. What he didn’t say was what the government proposed to do about those locals who sell ivory to tourists. Because when it comes to making some baht, the Thais want their cake and be able to eat it too.

With their economy surging, mainland Chinese have become the world’s most common world traveler, with more than 100 million expected to go abroad this year alone. In 2012, they overtook Americans and Germans as the top international spenders according to the United Nations World Tourism Organization. And the Chinese are the biggest visitors to Thailand, accounting for 20 percent of total arrivals. Spending by mainland Chinese tourists jumped 80 percent to $6 billion in 2013 from 2012, and tourism accounts for around a tenth of the Thai economy. So while on one hand the Thai government is bitch slapping mainland Chinese visitors for inappropriate behavior, it’s other hand is reaching out for more of their cash.

The influx of mainland Chinese tourists to Thailand often looks more like an invasion.

The influx of mainland Chinese tourists to Thailand often looks more like an invasion.

Thanks to the civil unrest that resulted in the Good General’s rise to power last year, Thailand’s tourism industry took a solid kick to the nuts. And if anyone knows what happens when the military takes over, it’s mainland Chinese; visitors from China numbers slumped more than any other nationalities after the Good General’s military coup last May. In order to boost its sagging economic growth last August the ruling junta announced a three month visa fee exemption to stimulate Chinese tourism, and Thai authorities have attended road shows in major Chinese cities to advertise tour routes and travel products. ‘Cuz winning back Chinese visitors is what the Good General believes will make Thailand a happy place. But from the numerous complaints about their behavior, it would appear he forgot to explain to the Chinese just what happy means. And a place to empty your full bladder was probably not what The Good General had in mind.

Rattanakosin Exhibition Hall: A Salute To The Chakri Dynasty

18 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by Bangkokbois in Sex Break

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Attractions, Bangkok

Rattanakosin 1

Having grown up watching Gilligan’s Island, the idea of a three hour tour always leaves me a bit anxious. But when Noom shows an interest in something beyond shopping, I tend to set my worries aside and just be happy my wallet gets to take a break. Such was the case after a quasi-business trip to Khaosan Road, the subsequent hassle in finding an open taxi, and Noom’s sudden realization that it was close enough to feeding time to stop off at his favorite pad thai restaurant. No problemo. It’s not exactly a short hike from the backpacker ghetto to the far side of Wat Ratchanadda where our early lunch awaited, but it is a shady walk down Ratcha Damnoen Klang Road. At least it was until Noom came to an abrupt stop and uttered that fateful cry, “Oh!”

We’d driven and walked past the Rattanakosin Exhibition Hall many times in the past without incident. This time, maybe it was the lack of store windows to shop and a stomach that wasn’t quite growling yet that combined to entice him with the thought of spending our afternoon in a museum. Then again Noom is Thai. And he loves anything and everything about his culture. Even when it’s more about propaganda than tradition. But at a mere 100 baht, who was I to argue with his choice of historical record?

The Rattanakosin Exhibition Hall isn’t just a museum, it’s an interactive museum. But also being a museum run by the Thai government, your interaction is strictly controlled. Mindless wandering from exhibit to exhibit is not allowed. Because in Thailand we take guided tours. Which is where my anxiety about taking the three hour version came into play. But it coulda been worse. There’s a six hour version too. And with scheduling, the word is taking both could make you feel just like Gilligan (or Lovey Howell for you queens) stuck on an uncharted island with no apparent means of escape.

Rattanakosin 2

Officially the tour takes two hours. Or four. There are two ‘routes’ and you can choose to take one or both (for the same admission fee). But being a Thai museum run by the Thai government and billed as a Thai cultural experience, Rattanakosin Exhibition Hall runs on Thai time. So it all depends on how the tour schedule works out with your arrival time. First, there’s an introductory video that starts every fifteen minutes. Then your first two hour tour, which begin every 20 minutes. And then if you opt for the full experience, there’s the additional delay waiting for Part II to start. So not counting time spent at the coffee shop, checking out the views from the Observation Deck, or your boy du jour’s obligatory stop at the gift shop, plan on six hours for the full set of tours, or three hours for the single tour. But just remember that too was all that Gilligan thought he’d signed up for.

Now between almost a full day of sightseeing in one building and the fact that despite billing itself as an interactive learning center the Rattanakosin Exhibition Hall is still a museum, you might be thinking: pass. And I don’t blame you. But somewhere between my bitching about being forced to take a guided tour, the length of the tour(s), the 1,000 baht deposit for the English language audio guide, the sometimes juvenile displays, and having how wonderful the royals of Thailand are for the country shoved down my throat, I actually began to enjoy myself. And Noom loved it from the get-go. Even with all the bitching I was doing.

From strictly a time best spent view, I’d almost want to tell you to go with your first instincts and give it a pass if you are only in town for a few days. But the info and displays on the Grand Palace alone would make your subsequent visit to that attraction much more rewarding. And while some of the interactive technology displays appear to have been constructed by The Professor from what he could find on the island, others are pretty damn cool. One, while you are sitting down watching a 4D-multimedia video (replete with scent and sensory effects), is actually an elevator that raises you to the next floor. Whodathunk a museum could actually be fun?

Rattanakosin 3

The museum is divided into nine ‘halls’ each focusing on a different aspect of Thai history/culture. The Grandeur Rattanakosin Room is mostly Chakri dynasty hype, but that segues into the Prestige of the Kingdom Room with interactive displays and scale models of the Grand Palace. You get to see the Emerald Buddha in not one but three different costumes (and all three are of a better view than you’ll get actually visiting the green guy), and the explanation of the meanings behind all the architectural details of the place is fascinating. It also provides glimpses into parts of the palace not usually accessible to the public.

In the Remarkable Entertainments Hall, a panoramic view of the olden days of Siam with traditional Thai entertainment spectacles involves you in the country’s performing arts, such as the masked Khon dance, lakhon plays, the Thai silk industry, fruit carving, and puppet shows – and yeah, you get to play with the puppets. Then it’s back to how cool it is to be royalty in the Renowned Ceremonies Room, a cinema-like hall with comfortable couch seating where you get to watch a king’s coronation ceremony. The Royal Barge Procession and the Royal Ploughing Ceremony are covered here too. Less all about the Chakri clan, the Impressive Communities Hall brings the different trade streets to life, from the monk’s bowl village of Baan Bat to the foodie lanes than run alongside the city’s canals.

I was hoping the Colorful Thai Way of Living Hall might include some interactive experience with Soi Twilight, but no such luck. Which may have had something to do with it being Noom’s favorite room. Not quite The Pirates of the Caribbean, after a brief look into to life at riverside you take a trip down the river (animated on a 3D multimedia screen) in your own boat (okay, it’s more of a cart, but go with the flow) whose movements stimulate a wild ride on the river. Then, before you get wet, the screen changes into a view of the old city and your boat becomes a tram while you ride down the first paved road in Thailand.

This was the most interactive room. You got to bop your heart out on a dance floor from the ’60s, try out some vintage costumes, and even have your photo superimposed on the cover of a magazine. It ends with a ride on the BTS, which is a good segue into the Sight – Seeing Highlights exhibit which features all the stuff you could have done in town instead of having visited the Rattanakosin Exhibition Hall.

Rattanakosin 4

That too was a popular exhibit for Noom. It’s mostly done in cartoons. And they take photos of you when you enter the room so that during the presentation your face shows up in parts of the display. Thankfully, unlike in many museums photography is allowed. So Noom has lots of shots of himself enjoying his day at the Rattanakosin Exhibition Hall.

(The Rattanakosin Exhibition Hall.is open Tuesday through Friday from 11am to 8pm, and on Saturday and Sunday from 10am to 8pm. The last tour begins at 6pm, but consider going later in the day ‘cuz the views of the surrounding area – including the Loha Prasat, Wat Ratchanadda, and the Golden Mount are even more spectacular when lit at night.)

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Sawatdee and welcome to the new and improved Bangkokbois Gay Thailand Blog! Okay, so it’s not necessarily improved, just hosted on a new site. And it’s not just about Thailand, though that still is the main focus. And it’s not all gay either, unless you’re not and then you’ll think it’s pretty damn gay I’m sure. All of the penis might tip you off. Which means if you are not of the required legal age to be looking at penis other than your own, you should leave. And go tell your parental units they suck at their job.

But it is a blog and one out of three ain’t bad. Besides, Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand Blog For People Of Legal Age is just too wordy. But so is Dancing With The Devil In The City Of Angels, which is really the title of this blog.

As cool of a title as that is, Google just ain’t sharp enough to figure out that means this blog is mostly about Thailand. And pretty damn gay to boot. The penis part even Google figured out. Which is a good thing. ‘Cuz Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand With Lots Of Penis Blog For People Of Legal Age, I think, was taken by someone else.

Move along, there’s nothing to see here folks; pay no attention to that man behind the curtain:

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