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~ Ramblings, Rumblings and Travel Tales: Bangkok and Beyond

…dancing with the devil in the city of angels…

Tag Archives: Muay Thai

Muay Thai Live: The Hype Lives

21 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in Tips

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Attractions, Bangkok, Muay Thai

Looks like the stage at Dream Boy just before things get interesting, but nope, it's Muay Thai Live: The Legend Lives.

Looks like the stage at Dream Boy just before things get interesting, but nope, it’s Muay Thai Live: The Legend Lives.

If you’re at Asiatique, Bangkok’s newest tourist trap, the dozen or so almost naked guys on stage for your viewing pleasure may seem like pretty much any night spent on Soi Twilight, but those boys are not there to provide you with a happy ending. If you’re at Asiatique, Bangkok’s newest tourist trap, when fists begin to fly and some poor sucker ends up in a bloody heap, it may not be that you just witnessed the latest expat going mano y mano with the ferris wheel ride operator over the attraction’s dual price structure either. And if you’re at Asiatique, Bangkok’s newest tourist trap, and see Thailand totally trounce Burma again and again, you are either my friend Noom daydreaming about historical events that never were, or you just dropped 1,500 baht to take in the spectacular known as Muay Thai Live: The Legend Lives, aka Asiatique’s newest tourist trap within a tourist trap.

Not that Muay Thai Live: The Legend Lives isn’t spectacular. It’s just that it has as much to do with muay thai as the Calypso Cabaret has to do with the daily life of Thailand’s transgendered community. Which may be understandable. Muay Thai Live: The Legend Lives (MTLLL from here on in cuz I’m not typing out that entire name again) is created and directed by Ekachai Uekrongtham, who directed the ladyboy turned muay thai champion biopic Beautiful Boxer. And one of MTLLL’s stars is ‘Art’ Attaporn, who portrayed that ladyboy turned muay thai champion in Ekacha’s film. Throw in the Passion Fighter act, supposedly a modern day look at how muay thai is used on the streets in which the hero defeats a series of bad guys, one of whom seems just as intent on seducing him as fighting him, and . . . huh, maybe there is a good reason to go see MTLLL after all.

Of course if you’re actually interested in muay thai, you’ll do better going to see a real muay thai fight. There’s a free card every Wednesday night in front of MBK, so you can save yourself 1,500 baht while you’re at it. On the other hand, if you’re interested in seeing a muay thai fight and the signboard out in front of the The Pink Panther keeps catching your eye, you’ll probably do better heading over to Asiatique where Broadway meets muay thai at MTLLL’s extravaganza. And even if you lose the battle with the ‘we took your picture when you arrived now give us 240 baht for a copy’ vendor at MTLLL, it will probably still cost you less than what your check bin would add up to at Pink Panther. But then that’s only if you prefer a bit of break dancing with your martial arts.

Rumor has it that they closed down Lumpini Stadium to force unsuspecting touri to head to Asiatique to get their fill of muay thai fighting. Or at least that will be the rumor now that I've started it.

Rumor has it that they closed down Lumpini Stadium to force unsuspecting touri to head to Asiatique to get their fill of muay thai fighting. Or at least that will be the rumor now that I’ve started it.

So granted, MTLLL could improve by a costume malfunction or two, but it is not intended as an alternative to heading out to the stadium to spend an evening watching real muay thai fighters go at it; ‘the legend lives’ part of the show’s title is the give away. MTLLL is an encapsulated look at the 300 year history of the sport, with ‘history’ meaning tall tales told of legendary muay thai champions. If you are familiar with those stories, it’ll seem like old home week. If not, the tales told are more akin to Putin claiming he’s only interested in liberating Ukraine. But then to the victors goes the spoils, the winners get to dictate history, and alls well that ends well, even if Burma did beat Thailand 4 to 0. But then don’t take my critique of the show too seriously; I still haven’t figured out if the T in muay thai should always be capitalized or not and if so what you are supposed to do with the M (but I’m going with not ‘cuz otherwise that requires yet another stroke of the keyboard).

MTLLL’s opening number is The Prisoner with Eight Limbs, which may sound like a homage to the Saw movie franchise, but is actually a reference to the martial art known as the Art of Eight Limbs (that’d be two feet, two knees, two hands, and two elbows ‘cuz modern day muay thai rules prohibit the fighters striking blows to their opponent’s two balls) and the popular story of Nai Kanomthom, who back in the late 1700s was captured by the Burmese when they were busy capturing the entire northern section of Thailand. Boo Burma! To celebrate his country making Thailand its bitch, Lord Mangra, the Burmese King, decided to hold a big festival during which his top fighters would do battle with Thailand’s top fighters, who were now known as Lord Mangra’s top slaves.

Unfortunately for the Burmese, Nai Kanomthom trounced his first opponent using the Art of Eight Limbs, the loser of which whined that Nai cheated by using black magic. Nai said no, that was just a black eye and then went on to beat the shit out of another ten Burmese. Yeah Thailand! Lord Mangra was so not impressed with his fighters that he declared Nai Kanomthom the winner, granted him his freedom, and awarded him several Burmese women to be his wives and concubines. Boo Breeders! Nai Kanomthom returned to what was left of Thailand as a hero, and lived out his life teaching muay thai when he wasn’t busy battling between the sheets with his slew of wives and concubines. And that’s why today the Thai government is cracking down on illegal Burmese immigrants. Ooops. Wrong post. My bad.

Okay, I think I've seen that act before years ago at Future Boys.

Okay, I think I’ve seen that act before years ago at Future Boys.

Round two tells the legend of King Sri Saan Petch, aka “The Tiger King,” who was infamous for disguising himself in a tiger mask and competing in muay thai tournaments. The mask was not because he was known as The Tiger King, but because if his opponents knew he was the king they would not have fought him, probably because king’s tended to behead people who pissed them off back in those days. Although in MTLLL’s version it’s because the Thai people loved their king and didn’t want to see him lose. Or see Burma win again. In any case, the role of the king is played by ‘Art’ Attaporn of Beautiful Boxer fame, and he almost makes as good of a king playing the role of a muay thai fighter as he did playing a ladyboy. But then if you’ve ever pissed off a ladyboy hooker on Sukhumvit you probably already know how talented they are at using their fists, so maybe that’s just type-casting.

There’s another historical act, and then the show moves into modern times and the break dancers take over ‘cuz that’s what muay thai is really all about. The spectacular ends with a section on Thai heritage and a group performance of the wai kru, the weird dance/kneeling ritual that comes at the beginning of muay thai fights and MTLLL’s take is just as exciting as the real version. But at least the seats at MTLLL’s venue are nicely padded and quite comfy so you won’t get a crick in your neck from that short, restful nap you just took.

Admittedly the feats of athleticism featured in the show really are quite extraordinary, even if few are anything you’d ever see used inside of a real muay thai ring. And unlike in a real muay thai fight there is no blood (other than that spilt by those who paid the VIP seating price that costs 300 baht more than a regular ticket only to discover all that means is you get a ‘free’ box of popcorn and a soda) so those who abhor blood and violence will thoroughly enjoy MTLLL. As will those who visited Asiatique for the thrill of riding a ferris wheel. Ditto for every tuk tuk driver, taxi driver, and concierge in town who will try to sell you a ticket to MTLLL, because at 1,200 to 1,500 a pop there’s a lot of filthy lucre to go around.

Okay, I know I've seen that act before years ago at Future Boys.

Okay, I know I’ve seen that act before years ago at Future Boys.

Which is why it’s so difficult to escape all the hype of MTLLL as a tourist these days. But most manage to at least escape buying a ticket; packed in like sardines isn’t exactly the phrase you’d use to describe the audience. Some must have just farted is. And MTLLL isn’t fairing that much better on TripAdvisor, review are sparse. And even sparser when you realize Sadie K from Islamabad reviewed an actual muay thai fight she attended and not MTLLL, making her one of the few people in the world who would actually confuse the two. Everyone else said it was just like going to a movie. That MTLLL is a Hollywood version of the ancient fighting sport hits it pretty much squarely on the nose.

Noom, who is both a big fan of the Thai version of history and muay thai gave the show a big thumbs up for its frequent reference to Burma sucking and a big, “Not Real!” to most of its muay thai. After the show, he made sure to pose for a photo with ever one of the women from the show, but I think that had more to do with breasts than it did with his approval of the show.

Muay Thai Live: The Legend Lives is performed nightly, except for Sundays at 8:00 pm at The Stage at Asiatique. Tickets can be bought on arrival from the box office outside the theatre or in advance tickets online from Thai Ticket Master. Your best bet for getting there is taking the BTS to Saphan Taksin station and then the shuttle boat to Asiatique. The Stage theater is located at Warehouse 3 within the entertainment complex.

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I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: A Match Made in Chiang Mai

I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: A Match Made in Chiang Mai

Scoring A Knockout With A Knockout In Thailand

03 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by Bangkokbois in This Is Thailand . . .

≈ Comments Off on Scoring A Knockout With A Knockout In Thailand

Tags

Bangkok, Muay Thai

Wonder what WBC Champion Sirimongkol Singwancha has been up to lately?

Wonder what WBC Champion Sirimongkol Singwancha has been up to lately?

Imagine if you will: A dark room teeming with the aroused, free-flowing testosterone of a predominately male crowd of spectators, all eyes riveted on two scantily dressed, hot, sweaty, well-built young men center stage, their bodies locked crotch to crotch in embrace, chests heaving in exertion and excitement, their drenched, revealing shorts plastered to their muscular bodies leaving little to the imagination. Not that you need to rely on your imagination; you’ve seen the tall, mustached performer naked before, his beautifully muscled swimmer’s physique and prodigiously engorged member seared in your memory.

Sound familiar? Been there, seen that? Not so quick there buddy – while this may sound like a typical night on Soi Twilight, it’s not. You’ll have to head a bit northeast from Bangkok’s infamous red light district to take in this male flesh spectacular event. Like about 150 miles. No problemo. Hop into any taxi. While Bangkok’s taxi drivers may be a bit fuzzy on just exactly where the Seafood Market and Restaurant is, everyone in town knows where Khlong Phai Prison. It’s just not a place most touri put on their to-do list. Until now.

Prison Fight takes cage fighting to a new level  -  the contestants are convicts who spend their days locked in cages.

Prison Fight takes cage fighting to a new level – the contestants are convicts who spend their days locked in cages.

Welcome to Prison Fight, Thailand’s answer to the U.S.’s fascination with reality television where scoring a knockout can mean freedom to a convict serving twenty years or more in one of the country’s infamous dungeon-like prisons. Oh, and that gorgeous body and equally gorgeous penis you remember so fondly? Those belong to Sirimongkol Singwancha, former WBC Bantamweight and WBC Super Featherweight
Champion (not to mention Heat Magazine, cover stud of the month) who has been serving a 20-year sentence for drug trafficking.

Dana White, eat your heart out.

I’m assuming his crime was breaking someone’s heart.

I’m assuming his crime was breaking someone’s heart.

Now with five cards under its belt, Prison Fight debuted early last year as a charity event in which local convicts took on muay thai and MMA fighters from around the globe. The farang fight for bragging rights of having whooped a local muay thai boxer on his own turf, the imprisoned fight for a chance at having their sentence commuted. Three of them have already fought their way to freedom by winning their muay thai, boxing, muay boran (without gloves), and blindfolded boxing matches. Including Sirimongkol, who fought and won in both Prison Fight 1 and Prison Fight 3, and who was granted an amnesty last August for his wins after having served four years of his sentence.

Put on by a Thai and Estonian partnership in conjunction with Thailand’s Department of Corrections, Prison Fight – despite its Facebook page’s freakshow-like come-on: “Boxing event in prison – like in movies, but real!” – is part of a program set up in 2010 by the Thai government that sanctions fights at dozens of correctional facilities across the country. The events are orchestrated in much the same way as pro tournaments – all fighters wear regulation gloves and wraps, and every bout is overseen by a seasoned muay thai referee. Not to mention armed guards.

In Prison Fight, Thai convicts take on farang MMA fighters. To date, the Thais have won the majority of bouts.

In Prison Fight, Thai convicts take on farang MMA fighters. To date, the Thais have won the majority of bouts.

The tournaments are supposed to promote sport among prisoners and help them stop taking drugs so they are more socially adept upon release. Nathee Chitsawang, director general of Thailand’s Corrections Department believes the events help prisoners develop social skills to make their integration into society easier when they are released. And, supposedly, it makes the prisons look better too. ”We want the world communities to know we are honoring human rights, even in the prison,” he says.

Kirill Sokur, the thirty-something Estonian businessman who teamed up with the Thai Department of Corrections early last year to help stage fights provides the equipment and receives a fee from the Thai government for promoting the bouts. While he doesn’t discount the benefit to promoters – the opportunity to scout top talent from the prisoner pool and the incredible potential for a savvy promoter to represent the bad guy turned good – he also views the program as a knockout win for the prisoners. “Giving these guys a ring and an opportunity to prove themselves in front of the rest of the inmates – and the world, actually – that’s pretty important,” he says.

If he wins an early release, he also has the opportunity of a career as a bar boy I’d say.

If he wins an early release, he also has the opportunity of a career as a bar boy I’d say.

Aree Chaloisuk, director of Khlong Phai (aka The Warden), too feels the events are a benefit to those prisoners who participate. “From what I have seen, it can improve bad behavior and provides an opportunity for a career for inmates after they leave prison – they can compete instead of becoming criminals again,” he says, adding, “Muay Thai is a strong part of Thai culture.”

As is the idea of prisoners fighting their way to freedom. Back in 1767, thousands of Thai soldiers were taken prisoner by the Burmese after the downfall of Thailand’s then capital of Ayutthaya. While incarcerated the best Thai boxers had to then fight against Burmese boxing champions. The ultimate champion, as legend tells it, was a Thai fighter, Nai Khanomtom, who was forced to fight nine Burmese champions in a row during a festival put on by King Mangra in honor of Buddha. His win so astonished the Burmese king that he granted Khanomtom his freedom – along with two wives – giving birth to a tradition of pardoning outstanding fighters. Based on that historical event, today according to Thai law, there is a chance for prisoners to be amnestied for great sport achievements.

Prison Fight is missing out on a great marketing tool  -  selling the right to be a corner man would bring in thousands from farang punters.

Prison Fight is missing out on a great marketing tool – selling the right to be a corner man would bring in thousands from farang punters.

Under the Prison Fight banner, convicts who win a championship and thereby bring glory to the prison have a realistic shot at having their sentences commuted. Kirill Sokur said this goes for any prisoner regardless of the magnitude of their crime, but was also quick to point out that prisoners are equally judged on their behavior outside of the ring. If an inmate wins a match, his case is referred to the warden of his prison, who then has the option of reducing his sentence by months or even years. To the victor goes not only the spoils, but possibly clemency too.

All but one of the fights have been held at Khlong Phai Prison, one of the country’s largest high-security prisons, which was built in 1999 to relieve the overcrowded prisons in Bangkok. It houses some of the country’s worst drug traffickers, thieves, gang members, and murderers. Not to mention some of the best muay thai boxers in the world. The low quality of life in Thai prisons is well-known and Khlong Phai is no exception. The cells measure approximately 1.5 meters x 3.5 meters, which includes a small bathroom area at the back consisting of a tap and a hole in the floor for a lavatory. There are no chairs or beds in the cells and each holds three to four prisoners, who spend 13 hours a day in their claustrophobically confined space.

Incarcerated ladyboys get in on the Prison Fight action too as ring girls.

Incarcerated ladyboys get in on the Prison Fight action too as ring girls.

Drug use, perhaps not surprisingly, runs rampant. As does fighting. Rape, a common occurrence in U.S, prisons, is practically unheard of however, largely due to inmates being allowed to enter into relationships with ladyboys – who make up a small percentage of the prison population. But only on the condition that they inform the authorities first and agree to an official marriage. Of sorts. Once the ‘marriage’ has been approved they are moved into the same cell. If the relationship eventually comes to an end, the prisoners can seek an official “divorce”. Which may explain why there have been no ladyboy contestants in Prison Fight to date. As well as providing another good reason to fight about.

The next Prison Fight is scheduled for February. Though so far it appears the general public has not been allowed to attend the events – Prison Fight’s web page says cameras and cell phones are not allowed and “all woman have to close their knees and shoulders” so who knows for sure – accreditation as a journalist is pretty basic and easily obtained, and you can apply on Prison Fight’s Facebook page (although I guess if you get busted for that con you may end up with a much better seat than expected). If you think attending a bout would be even more fun as one of the contestants, training is available at the Prison Fight Gym, located opposite Sukhumvit 101/1, a 5 minute walk from the BTS Punnawithi station (on the Bearing Line), on Mondays through Fridays from 11am to 7pm.

Ubiquitous Plastic Stool Shot!

Ubiquitous Plastic Stool Shot!

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Sex Break: A Different Type Of Meat Beating

Sex Break: A Different Type Of Meat Beating

Sex Break: A Different Type Of Meat Beating

16 Thursday May 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Sex Break, Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

≈ Comments Off on Sex Break: A Different Type Of Meat Beating

Tags

Attractions, Bangkok, Muay Thai

Taking a break from sex doesn’t preclude enjoyng some hot male flesh.

Taking a break from sex doesn’t preclude enjoyng some hot male flesh.

I realize that for a lot of gay touri the allure of The Big Mango is sex. For many it’s its sole reason for existence. But as enticing as a regime of eat, drink, have sex, repeat as necessary may be, sooner or later your batteries need to recharge. At some point during your holiday you need to take a break from sex. Even if doing so is with your latest conquest. Sure there’s always shopping, but with all that Bangkok has to offer, there are a lot of other things to do and places to see.

For the newbie, I’ve been outlining what I consider to be the best in my Top Ten Bangkok Experiences series of posts. It’s possible that some of those suggestions may even be new for repeat visitors. But there’s more. And so much more I can’t include everything in that series; running yourself ragged is not the best use of holiday time. Besides if you wear yourself out trying to see and do everything you possibly can, you won’t have enough energy left to enjoy what draws many gay touri to Thailand in the first place: sex. Sounds like a vicious circle, huh?

So I’m starting a new category, a series of posts about less well known daytime activities available to visitors to Bangkok, called Sex Breaks. They are quick trips you can easily fit in between the time you spend between the sheets. I can’t promise they will be as memorable as that hottie you offed last night, but hope these will at least serve as a comma in your regime of sex, sex, sex.

Cotton cord wrapped fists are the hallmark of Muay Boran.

Cotton cord wrapped fists are the hallmark of Muay Boran.

First up, because me being me even a sex break still allows room for some hot male flesh, is Baan Chang Thai. In one of my yet to be posted Top Ten Bangkok Experiences articles I will suggest going to see a muay thai fight. Everyone I’ve ever taken to see some muay thai action at Lumpini has greatly enjoyed the spectacle. And it’s one of those things you can do again and again and still enjoy. But even with its opening cultural rituals, what you see at the stadiums today is modern muay thai. Old school is different and not something you run across much these days. At Baan Chang Thai you can see how real men practice the sport known as the art of eight limbs. But if the sight of near naked men beating each other bloody makes you squeamish, you can learn about the art of puppet making, or take classes in traditional Thai painting there too.

Baan Chang Thai (House of Thai Artisans) opened nine years ago with an official visit by HRH Princess Sirindhorn. Founded by Kru Lek, its approach, unlike a museum where ancient objects are preserved and displayed is to preserve the essence of the traditional knowledge in Thai arts through a seamless blending of expressive art and mindful boxing. Aside from producing fine art works, Baan Chang Thai provides classes to pass on knowledge and skills to a new generation, classes that include Muay Thai Chaiya, one of the last surviving forms of traditional muay thai. And the school is highly regarded for its excellence and devotion to keeping these aspects of traditional Thai culture alive.

Painting, kickboxing and puppets may not seem to go together, but Kru Lek does not believe that art and boxing are necessarily two different things. He says that they are two sides of the same coin. “To be successful, both require similar faculties: focus, patience, mindfulness, and the willingness to dig so deeply into oneself that “oneself” is forgotten in the process,” he says. Muay Chaiya, which emphasizes control, concentration and patience, and aims to take advantage of an opponent’s energy by tactfully redirecting it at the right instant, is considered not just a fighting technique but also a sort of performing art, and Kru Lek occasionally partakes in performances that showcase Muay Chaiya more as a dance than a fight. But his hands are as adept at holding a paint brush, or making intricate puppets and miniature Khon masks as they are a forming a fist.

In addition to classes in painting and puppet making, traditional Thai art work is available for purchase at Baan Chang Thai.

In addition to classes in painting and puppet making, traditional Thai art work is available for purchase at Baan Chang Thai.

A native of Thonburi, Kru Lek comes from a family with a long tradition of artists, craftsmen, painters and sculptors. The skills he learned as a child from his elders form the basis for instruction at Baan Chang Thai (though he does not pass on the talents of his ancestor who served as a Royal Executioner). He has continued with the arts throughout his life, and today teaches Thai-style painting and drawing regularly to people of all ages. His traditional Thai style murals are displayed on the walls of several Buddhist temples alongside ancient works of art. Whether a beginner or skilled artist yourself, you can learn Lek’s techniques at Baan Chang Thai. Three-hour long Thai painting and drawing classes are held on Saturdays and Sundays.

In Baan Chang Thai’s reception room, showcases display classical Khon puppets made by the master, each adorned with intricate headgear and beautifully embroidered clothing. The foot and a half tall puppets take about a month and a half to complete. Basics are taught during weekend classes, or you can sign up for a twelve-class program and continue lessons on subsequent visits to Bangkok. Many of the works of art are for sale and can also be made to order, for visitors who’d like to take distinctly Thai souvenirs home with them. But the school’s main focus is on the art of the warrior.

Tucked away down a leafy alleyway on one of Thonglor’s side streets, this Thai arts and kickboxing school looks like any other middle class home in Bangkok. But it is no ordinary house. It’s ground zero for Muay Chaiya in Bangkok, one of the last surviving forms of ancient Thai boxing. Out in the garden in an open shed that serves as a gym, locals and visitors practice this ancient form of Thai boxing that looks more like tai chi than muay thai. But that’s part of its appeal and is why classes comprise students of all ages and levels of experience. Many people like to practice Muay Thai Chaiya as a way to keep in shape.

Baan Chang Thai is located down a sub soi near the Ekamai  BTS station.

Baan Chang Thai is located down a sub soi near the Ekamai BTS station.

Muay Chaiya was created by a warrior-turned-Buddhist monk in the southern Thai town of Chaiya several hundred years ago and has passed through a direct lineage of masters to Kru Lek. One of the schools of muay boran, it emphasizes control, calm, concentration, humbleness, and patience. Kru Lek says that a stable mentality, modesty, a careful and mindful nature, honesty, and gratefulness, are prerequisites for training in Muay Chaiya.

All instruction, which is given in English, begins with ten basic exercises pieced together to provide a safe and challenging workout. Drilling of techniques then takes the majority of the session, which run two hours long, providing an excellent workout both physically and mentally. Under Kru Lek’s tutelage, you don’t learn kicking and punching by kicking and punching. You learn the steps and movements from which all advanced techniques flow.

Originating from warfare, Muay Thai Chaiya is a very effective form of self protection, and it is for this purpose that the majority of students at the school attended classes. This form of muay thai stresses short, practical movements which are used to attack or defend on all levels and from a variety of angles. It uses the body’s weight to gain power at close range, so you don’t need to be big to gain power over your opponent. And unlike learning modern muay thai, there are no rules as Muay Thai Chaiya is taught as a form of self defense. So attacking the eyes, throat, groin, joints, and pressure points are all techniques taught because they enable the user to finish a confrontation as quickly as possible to reduce the risk of personal injury.

Group classes often attended by local young men are held in an open shed at the school.

Group classes often attended by local young men are held in an open shed at the school.

The interest in ancient muay thai styles like Muay Thai Chaiya swelled after the release of Tony Jaa’s first movie, Ong Bak. But Master Lek says the fancy moves that captivated audiences are all for show. He teaches only the efficient, practical style as it was passed on to him by his teachers and has resisted the urge to beautify and weaken the style with fanciful techniques and techniques from other martial arts, which has plagued the current state of Muay Chaiya and other styles of muay boran.

You can drop by Baan Chang Thai to view the artwork or watch students practicing muay thai during weekend afternoons or weekday nights between 5 and 8 pm. Classes run fro 300 baht for an introductory lesson to 2,400 baht for twelve sessions. The school is located at 38 Ekamai Soi 10. Take the BTS to the Ekamai station, and then a 20 baht motorcycle taxi to the school, or a canal boat to Ekamai Pier and a motorcycle taxi for the short hop to Baan Chang Thai’s doorstep. If you are interested in taking classes in Muay Thai Chaiya, painting, or puppet making and costs are a concern, check the Bangkok’s Groupon website, Baan Chang Thai usually has a special offer listed for introductory classes.

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Nude Thai Boxing

What in the Hell Happened to Tony Jaa?

What in the Hell Happened to Tony Jaa?

I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: A Match Made in Chiang Mai

22 Friday Jul 2011

Posted by Bangkokbois in Dancing With the Devil, I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Chiang Mai, Muay Thai

muay thai

Muay Thai in Chiang Mai

Yup, my blog’s entire home page is now practically filled with posts about Thai boxing. So I thought I’d continue in that vein. Not that you care. You’re still drooling over the naked pictures of Sirimongkol.

When you are in Chiang Mai with a group of friends with a high testosterone count thanks to the two dykes in your party, a night out at one of the local Muay Thai venues is just the thing. At least that was my proposal for the night. Helena wasn’t too jazzed about the idea until I told her the stadium was actually a bar; shots of Patron were enough to stir her interest. Chris wasn’t too hep on the idea either, but quickly came around when I mentioned the young, almost naked hunks who’d be doing battle in the ring. He’d been going through flesh withdrawals since we hit town, missing the gay gogo bars of Bangkok and not willing to man up enough to try Chiang Mai’s bar scene on his own. Noom, my bar boy friend and current love of my life, was a different story. Muay Thai? Hell, yes! Obstinately straight, his presence topped off the testosterone level, and with the one-two punch combo of a Thai cultural event and a chance to gamble, he was raring to go.

Seeing a Muay Thai event in Chiang Mai is a hard to miss opportunity for touri. Every time you pass through the Thapae Gate, a local will hand you a flyer for that evening’s card. Nightly, there’s always at least one fight scheduled between a Thai and a white boy. Not because the farang has any chance of winning, but it’s a sure draw for his countrymen, a chance for locals to score not only in the ring but in the cash register too. And there’s always a fight scheduled between two women. Not because women are allowed in real muay thai fights, they aren’t. But straight guys get all hard over the idea of a bitch fight, so, as always, the locals after a buck are more than willing to oblige.

muay thai

Embraceable you.

There are two main venues for the touri version of muay thai in Chiang Mai. Both are called stadiums, both are actually bars. One is down the street from the Thapae Gate. The other a block or two up Loi Kroh Road from Chiang Mai’s famous Night Bazaar. We headed to the former, it being close to our hotel. Tickets to the event, which means the price of a drink, are two tiered: cheap seats fill most of the floor, those ringside run a bit more. Since Chris was with us and well known for never losing a fight over a dollar, we went cheap. Until Noom reminded us we were not only in Thailand, but with a Thai. He moved us ringside after the first round of drinks. The only reaction to our grabbing the better seats was a gracious wai given by the barmaid who took our next drink order.

To experience a quintessential Thai kickboxing match, only watching the fight is not enough; hot bodied locals, gloves, and a ring is but part of the show. You need to gamble, too. Most farang are smart enough not to get in the ring and go one-on-one with a Thai. Chris was not smart enough to not go one-on-one with a Thai outside the ring and foolishly agreed to a wager with Noom. Noom giggled at his folly, leaning over and whispering to me in delight, “It not real!”

I love to see my boy’s face bathed in the glow of avarice.

I’d seen enough muay thai fights in Patpong to know touri fights are fixed. But how Noom knew which fighter would win each match was beyond me. His reply to my asking, “’Cuz I Thai,” while typical, failed to adequately address the question. But didn’t fail to score a knock out against Chris’ wallet. The fighters in the ring may go home bruised and battered, but the loss to Chris was of a far more disastrous nature: cash. He tried to get out of paying up, claiming it was a friendly bet, nor more real than the match. I felt Noom tense up; face, honor, integrity, and fairness on the line. So was 100 baht. Chris, having just witnessed the damage a Thai can inflect on another human being, wisely decided his life was worth more than $3 and paid up. Not bloodied enough, he then unwisely agreed to double-down on the next match.

Chris loses many bets

Pay Up!

Meanwhile, Helena was risking death and disfigurement on her own. Not willing to wait for the waitress to make her rounds, she’d bellied up to the closest bar to grab some more drinks. There are about a half a dozen bars spread around the perimeter of the ‘stadium’. Turns out whichever seat you occupy belongs to a specific bar as does whatever money you spend on libations. She’d hit the wrong bar and was quickly being schooled in the rules of the game. Smarter than Chris, she knew better than to take on a local. That ordering another round of shots smoothed things over was but a happy bonus.

The card that night featured five bouts. We’d missed the opening act, the bitch fight. No big loss. We’d arrived during the second bout, the one trumpeting a Canadian boxer. He went down by the time we sat down. Perhaps he should have stuck to hockey. That left three fights, and six young Thai guys with tight bodies, rippling muscles casting shadows across their dusky skin as they danced around the ring, and satin shorts that did little to disguise what they covered, especially as they became transparent with sweat as each bout went on.

Who won may have been predetermined, what happened up to that point seemed to be anyone’s call. The fighters traded some vicious blows, often using hard elbows to inflict damage on their opponent. As many kicks were thrown as punches, blocking those looked as painful as letting them land. The fights may have not been real, but the fighting was. Ringside, up-close and personal, you not only get a unobstructed view of the match, but by the second round sweat flying off the boxers has an unobstructed path to you. Dee cringed. Chris licked his lips. Noom laughed. Helena ordered yet another shot.

Ouch!

Um, I think that one really hurt!

So getting the gang to agree to go see the fights, I’d told a little white lie to Chris, possibly suggesting he’d be able to buy one of the boxers for the night. He wasn’t much of a fight fan, but his eyes were glued on the pugilists sizing each up, not for their fighting skills but with an eye to their bedroom skills. With an 0-2 record betting with Noom, when the third bout started up and Noom tried to make another 100 baht off Chris, he wisely passed. Not because he didn’t want to try and win some of his money back and was smart enough to know that wouldn’t happen, but rather he wanted to have enough left in his wallet to take a muay thai boxer back to his room with him and was not smart enough to know that wouldn’t happen either. Noom set him straight. And won another 100 baht from Chris.

Chris settled instead for buying a pair of muay thai boxer trunks without a boy in them; an odd souvenir for Chris, but then he’d displayed a taste for the strange with other trinkets he’d bought on the trip. End of the fight, end of the night, we staggered back to the hotel; Dee and I laden with an inebriated Helena strung between us, Noom laden with a wallet full of Chris’ cash. But Chris is a champ and though he’d be disappointingly only battling with his own hands that night, quickly caught onto what I was up to when I asked if I could borrow his newly purchased trunks for the night. Back in our room. Noom chalked it up to yet another example of how strange farang can be. But he’s always willing to make me happy. The fight was brief, the trunks quickly discarded, and this time I was the one who knew who the winner would be.

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21 Thursday Jul 2011

Posted by Bangkokbois in Thailand Travel Tips and Tales, The World of Thailand's Gay Gogo Bars

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Movies & Television, Muay Thai

Parinya Charoenphol

Parinya Charoenphol

Yup, I Know. But coming up with a pun infested title isn’t always that easy.

As long as I’m posting about Thai boxing, I thought I’d include an entry about one of Thailand’s more famous kickboxing champions. His fame wasn’t so much due to his prowess in the ring, though cinching a championship title should tell you that he was quite good, but rather that he was a she. Or more correctly, she was a he. At least until he became a she.

Parinya Charoenphol, better known as Nong Toom, hit the big time in February 1998, when she won a bout at Bangkok’s Lumpini Stadium. Thailand’s media went gaga over the make-up wearing 16-year-old lady boy, who defeated and then kissed her larger and more muscular opponent. She soon became a favorite muay thai boxer embraced by the nation and promoted by tourism officials for being ‘indicative of the wonders to be found in Thailand’. Amazing Thailand indeed.

Born into a rural family living in Chiang Mai province, Nong Toom took the traditional route for children of poor parents in Thailand and became a novice monk.. At the age of 12, he visited a temple fair where a kickboxing match offered 500 baht to the winner; he entered, won, and began his career in muay thai as a financial means to support his family. Initially kickboxing was a way to earn money, but Nong Toom fell in love with the sport, attracted to the ancient movements that are as much a ritualistic dance as an act of violence. His grace and beauty coupled with the stylized dance-like movement he preferred resulted in his trademark move Crushing Medicine, which involved jumping in the air and bringing his elbow down onto the head of his unfortunate opponent.

Toom’s strength and dexterity in the ring, and the ability to knock out the toughest of fighters, won him fame and acceptance racking up 20 wins out of 22 regional matches, and finally nationwide fame after a victory in 1998 at Lumpini. As her fame spread, so did her flame; the girl inside of the boy became more and more obvious to fans and they started showing up to matches wearing makeup and outlandish colored trunks in support. “Back then, I looked like a muscular katoey, and no one believed that I could be a woman,’’ Toom recalls, laughing.

Victorious in the ring, Toom’s private life still left much to be desired. She was still a he. But that changed when a ladyboy beautician from her village supplied the eager Toom with her first bottle of hormone pills. Soon her muscles waned and her jaw line softened. So did her prize-winning punches. Toom’s fans were shocked and by the fall of 1998, there was little coverage of Nong Toom to be found in either the mainstream or boxing media.. But with the hope of becoming a full woman, Nong Toom finally went under the knife in 1999 and became a she.

Beautiful Boxer

Beautiful Boxer

Her story is told in the 2004 film Beautiful Boxer, which opened in the US in 2005. Real-life kickboxer Asanee Suwan, a 22-year-old professional featherweight kickboxer from Chiang Mai, landed the lead role in the movie that won several national and international awards, yet opened to limited success in Thailand. There was also controversy in Thailand about the full-frontal male nudity in this film. (For Thailand, the nudity was cut.) Shot in nine provinces across Thailand and in Tokyo, it is a beautifully photographed film, with lots of eye candy and great fight sequences of Toom knocking out most of his opponents in Thailand and Japan.

Since becoming a woman and retiring from the ring, Toom has worked as an actress, a model, and toured for a while with her one-woman show Boxing Cabaret. She has not been allowed to take part in a kickboxing fight because of her gender. “I do miss it, but I’m not that far away from it,” she says. “I go and see my friends in matches, and I do some training. And I still can’t walk past a punch bag without kicking it.”

“When I got a job as a performer, many katoeys believed that I wasn’t fit for it. I know my previous stage was a boxing ring, not a transgendered beauty pageant contest, and they assumed that since I used to live in a very masculine world I wouldn’t know how to sing and dance like them,” says Toom. But as she did with disbelief from the boxing world, Toom again proved the doubters wrong.

beautiful Boxers

Two Beautiful Boxers: Nong Toom and Asanee Suwan.

In 2006, Toom made a comeback as boxer, fighting an exhibition match against Japan’s Kenshiro Lookchaomaekhemthong. Nong Toom won by unanimous decision after the three-round fight. In 2008 she had a fight against Pernilla Johansson at Rumble of the Kings in Stockholm, Sweden and won by decision.

That same year, Toom’s life and her family were captured in a music video for a single by Dido, It Comes and It Goes. The video, she said, brought back a project she has long dreamed of. “The video basically tells the story of my life as a woman, as a mother, as a trainer, as I help my brother teach Thai boxing to kids. And it got me thinking that maybe I should have my own camp that offers training for needy children in the area who can have muay thai as their ‘weapon’ for the future.”

Together with her best friend and business partner, Steven Khan, she is now planning to make “Parinya Muay Thai” come true. “I have a piece of empty land that I bought when I was only 16. I earned the money from boxing and I gave it to my mother to buy it,” she says. “It’s the perfect place, not far from the beach, a nice place for kids to exercise near the sea with fresh air.”

The camp is located in Pranburi, and .is designed to allow children to live, train and eventually go to school without being under contract to fight or having the burden of financially supporting their families. At Parinya Muay Thai, Toom says, children will be taught muay thai boxing for fitness and self-defense. They’ll also be offered opportunities to pursue an education, giving them a better chance at success in the lives.

Parinya Charoenphol and her daughter Pang

Parinya Charoenphol and her daughter Pang

Toom also sees her facility as providing an outreach program for Thailand’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered youth, allowing them to live and train in a safe and open environment, and to learn to defend themselves against bullies, develop confidence, and experience self-empowerment.

Today, though Toom keeps a low profile about her adopted daughter, “Pang”, now 8, whom Toom’s parents legally adopted, she says that filling a mother’s role has opened up a whole new experience. “My only wish is to support her now and give her the love, warmth and education she needs,” says Toom.

“I swore to myself that if I could be a woman, I would be a strong woman so that I can protect those I love: my family and my daughter,” Toom says. And it’s Toom’s inner strength that continues to inspire all who come to know her.

 

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20 Wednesday Jul 2011

Posted by Bangkokbois in Eye Candy

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Muay Thai, Nude Dudes

Sirimongkol Singwancha

Sirimongkol Singwancha

Yup, not only another post about Thai boxing, but one with a title that will guarantee tons of hits via Google searches. Some bar owner in Thailand should take note. Please?

And of note, especially to gay guys who like hunky Thai men, was champion boxer Sirimongkol Singwancha’s appearance – sans belt, trunks, or anything else – in the gay magazine Heat which earned him a legion of new fans and a conviction for taking part in publicizing obscenity. In 2005, the Thai district court fined the champ 4,000 baht and awarded him a six-month suspended sentence and two year probation for showing off all of his talents in the magazine.

 Sirimongkol who won WBC world titles in two weight divisions, bantamweight and super featherweight, was paid about 200,000 baht for appearing in the publication. Two years before doing the Heat layout, he was the cover model for Lips, a Thai upscale fashion and life-style magazine with a large gay male readership Not expecting that his full frontal nudity shots would be included in Heat, Sirimongkol claimed that the staff simply asked him to pose “for fun and for them to view in privacy.”  Wink. Wink.

Sirimongkol Singwancha

With a record of 63 wins, just two losses and 37 knockouts his boxing career stalled in 2005 after a seventh round knockout victory over Michael Clark in a WBC eliminator in Las Vegas. Shortly after, he falsely tested positive for Hepatitis B and lost an all-but-certain interim lightweight crown before doctors could prove he did not have the virus. By that time, the damage was done and Sirimongkol’s career never got back on track. Later the same year he was arrested for the full-frontal nudity photographs discovered by authorities during a porno raid in Northern Thailand.

Fined, but not jailed, in 2007 he agreed to an ill-advised drop down to super-featherweight to fight Thong Por Chokchai. Sirimongkol won, barely, and moved up to light-welter to destroy Australian Chad Bennett in 135 seconds in 2008 followed by a win against Rogelio Castaneda Jr. in Las Vegas.

His professional career and private life took another dive in August the following year when Sirimongkol was arrested with 28g of methamphetamines in Pattaya while allegedly delivering the drugs to a customer for 10,000 baht. The former world champion told police he was delivering the drugs for a man named “Lek” because – despite being scheduled to fight in a match in Mexico later that week – he no longer could earn enough money from boxing. Sirimongkol admitted he was guilty and that he has acted as a drug courier several times.

The most recent news I could find was from October of last year; the 32 year old boxer was still in jail while his family attempted to get more than three million baht together to free the former champ so that he could possibly fight again.

Sirimongkol Singwancha

Not quite as tragic, ballsy, hunky, or hard, Olympic silver medal boxer Worapoj Petchkoom also got his hand slapped for a gay magazine spread. In 2009, he appeared in Stage, both on the cover and a pictorial inside. But only in a swimsuit and his undies. His bitch slap came from the boxing commission rather than the courts; he was suspended for three months.

The boxer, who hopes to compete in the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, says he didn’t know the magazine was a gay publication. Worapoj says he was tricked and agreed to the shoot after the magazine invited him to do the cover to mark its third anniversary, thinking it was just an ordinary fashion job.

“On the first day I started to have my doubts, when they brought out a pair of underwear for me to wear,” he said. “Since the magazine appeared, another two gay titles have offered me work, but I turned them down. I meant to show my six pack – not my private parts.”

Sirimongkol Singwancha

The 28 year old 2004 Olympics silver medal winner (bantam class) says he agreed to the shoot after a dentist friend who knows people at the magazine invited him to do the cover for which he was paid 15,000 baht for two days’ work. The images were not considered obscene but still “they have tarnished the reputation of the national athletes” said Amateur Boxing Association of Thailand (ABAT) president, Gen. Taweep Jantararoj.

Petchkoom defended his actions while apologizing for showing so little, “I thought I would just be wearing a swimming costume. I refused, but they coaxed me into it, saying they wanted to see my six-pack.” Uh, Petchkoom? That’s not what they wanted to see.

Worapoj Petchkoom

Worapoj Petchkoom

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19 Tuesday Jul 2011

Posted by Bangkokbois in Tales, Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

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Tags

Bangkok, Muay Thai, Stupid Tourist Tricks

Boxing Hunk

“I can take him dude! I know I can. You got my back?”

“Uh, no. You can’t even beat Somsong at Connect Four. Have another beer.”

My running partner Dave and I were hanging out in Patpong and as usual he was getting all testosteroned up over the fake Muay Thai bout at the bar. Usually, he was content to cheer the boxers on. This time he wanted in on the action. Fortunately Dave loved to drink so the lure of another beer was enough to dissuade him from the idea of getting in the ring; one more shot enough to keep him in his seat. Offering to go one-on-one with a Thai boxer may have been safe at a fake Muay Thai venue, but you never know. Thailand has a mind of its own, touri proceed at their own risk.

Tall, dark, and handsome doesn’t begin to describe Dave. Though he easily hits all three of those marks. Dave is 6’ 4”, 200+ sculptured lbs., with dark-honey skin, black hair, molasses eyes, and a smile that lights a spark deep within his soul. A former Marine Honor Guard at the White House, part of his beauty is that he hasn’t a clue to how hot he really is. Upon meeting Dave for the first time, an older straight male friend of mine summed him up perfectly: Impressive. And Dave oozes masculinity. The chance for a five foot 99 pound Thai to take down a Goliath, especially a gorgeous one – a drunk one to boot – may have been too tempting. Not exactly a recipe for a fun filled SE Asian holiday. At least not on the touri side of the equation.

We were perched on barstools at our favorite bar in Bangkok’s red light district, an area that shimmers like the crown jewel in a vacationland of sin, seething with action, spotlit by neon blaring garishly from the enticements along the city’s most notorious soi. It was a popular bar, a popular choice among male visitors who’d made the pilgrimage to Bangkok’s neighborhood of flesh merchants, travellers yearning to escape the boredom of their drab homeland. They’d made the trip on zephyrs of dream to experience the sleazy magic of a world of the forbidden, the exotic, the unbelievable; a place beyond taboo, a place of flesh and nakedness where loose, ripe women reign and money is all. Content to ignore the squalid reality of the actual place, the bar was packed nightly with visitors willing to swallow the illusion wholeheartedly, and that artifice encompassed not only the women – many of whom were men – but the fake Thai kick boxing bouts as well.

boxing stud

That bar is now a distant memory. It used to squat on the corner of Patpong 1 and Suriwong, replaced by a McDonalds that in turn was replaced by a British drug store pushing Viagra that was replaced by a bank offering the some of the worst exchange rates in the city. The corner moved from an illusion of sin to an illusion of food to an illusion of virility to an illusion of cheap riches, a micro-climate of what Bangkok has to offer its visitors. But in the early ‘90s, that bar was a great place to call home.

On our first trip to The Big Mango, we quickly settled into the bar, making fast friends with Somsong, one of the bartenders who for a steady round of tips kept the ladyboys away. That Dave would lose game after game of Connect Four with her was but an added bonus. And added baht to her pocket. It was an open-air hostess bar, it’s tables spilling out both onto the sin-laden soi and traffic-laden Suriwong, a haven for bar girls and ladyboys, and a magnet for those on the prowl for cheap booze and cheaper women. Oh. Guess I should mention Dave is straight. Or at least thinks he is.

Under no such illusions myself, I was content to drink the night away in his company because that usually resulted in sleeping the early morning away snuggled up in bed together too. Yup, because that’s what straight buddies do. Illusions have always played an important role in Dave’s life, reality in mine. So it was no surprise that he was attracted to the Thai kickboxing bouts the bar offered to lure punters in.

Muay Thai is a national obsession in Thailand. That gambling is involved has a lot to do with the sport’s popularity. Real Muay Thai fights are part of Thailand’s cultural heritage. But that’s not what most touri see. Many visitors get their Muay Thai fix from staged bouts held in bars more interested in pushing drinks than in promoting the sport. That’s not to say the fighters are not real, they just don’t really fight. It’s the Thai version of professional wrestling. The outcome is determined before the fight begins. Unless a drunk touri steps into the ring. Though that outcome is predictable too.

hot boxer

In Bangkok, the real matches are held both at Lumpini and Ratchdamnoen Stadiums, where the fighting is fierce. The arenas are always packed, and as a touri you are guaranteed the best seats in the house. That’s because they cost twice as much as other seats and the locals are not foolish enough to pay that kind of cash. But then, a ringside seat for less than twenty bucks is a good deal. Those seats also give you a good view of the upper two tiers where the locals battle their own brand of the good fight.

Inside the stadium, the action is quite aggressive and bloody. Lots of angry shouting, furious screaming, with elbows, hands and fingers flying all about the place. That’s the spectators, busy placing their bets. Thais, like most Asians, love to gamble; Lumpini is one of the few legal venues for gambling in the Kingdom. Most bets are not large but they are placed with much passion. Fights among spectators are frequent and often more violent than what is happening on the mat. As a touri, hopping into the ring is a safer bet than wagering with the local crowd. At least with the former you may survive your night out.

Inside the ring, a bit more decorum is shown. At least at first. Each bout starts with a pre-fight ceremony. During the first part, the Wai Khru, both boxers kneel and wai to pay respect to the King, then turn in three more directions with each representing honor to his parents, teachers and Buddhism. A headband, called a Mongkol, is tied around their heads; it is considered sacred and when worn nothing can touch the boxer’s head. That’s why you’ll see the fighters enter the Muay Thai Boxing ring over the ropes, rather than ducking between them like classic boxers do.

After the kneeling and bowing the fighters get up and start the second part of the pre-fight ritual, the Ram Muay, a slow dance like movement that derives from their school of fighting technique. Sometimes the dance is brief, other times it’s an eloquent performances that draws applause from the crowd.

Each school of Muay Thai has its own style of Ram Muay, each dances to its own tune. If for some reason the fighters start doing the same movements, they’ll cancel the fight because it means they’ve been trained in the same school of boxing; two fighters from the same school aren’t supposed to fight each other because they are spiritual brothers. Occasionally you’ll see one of the boxers stamp his feet in his opponent’s corner. This is a signal that he intends to kill his opponent. The crowd goes wild. You should quietly slip out of the stadium and go watch the safer exhibition matches in Patpong.

nude boxer

During the pre-fight ceremony and the actual bout, a Muay Thai Orchestra plays tunes based on a musical scale unknown to Western ears, to match the pace and intensity of the fighters. Fortunately, the noise made by the spectators drowns out the noise made by the Thai musicians. If not, carefully study the fighters’ drop kick techniques and then try the move out on the most annoying musician. Don’t forget to place a bet before doing so.

Like most competitive full contact fighting sports, Muay Thai requires a heavy focus on body conditioning. The result is a homoerotic wet dream: a pair of buff, near naked youths, their biceps rippling, thigh muscles bulging, ass cheeks clenched tight under red or blue shorts that become almost transparent as they are soaked with sweat as the bout goes on. The spectators go berserk, gay guys in the crowd get hard, and the boxers exchange blow after blow using their knees and feet, fists and elbows; almost any part of the body is considered a target and any part of the body, except the head, can be used to strike an opponent.

Head-butts, chokes, gouges, and bites – in other words bitch fighting – are no longer allowed. Kneeing your opponent in the balls is no longer legal either. Originally, Muay Thai fighters wore cotton cloth wrapped around their hands which was dipped in glue and rolled in sand and broken glass. Today, they wear boxing gloves. Pussies.

boxer butt

Muay Thai fights consist of five three minute rounds with a two minute break between rounds. In professional fights, matches are judged as a whole, not by the round, and it’s important that a boxer finishes strongly; the later rounds are the most important. Like Olympic Ice Skating, the judges’ decision is often faulty, controversial, and provides the spark that ignites blows being thrown outside of the ring. But then with maybe 100 baht at stake, you can’t blame fight fans for their outrage when their boxer loses.

The matches put on at the bars in Patpong are a bit different. Opening ceremonies are brief or nonexistent. The music played during the fight is disco tunes from the ‘70s. There are no judges, the outcome was determined before the fight began. But the fighters are often true Nak Muay, trying to earn a few baht between real fights. Because money rules both inside and outside of the ring, scoring a Thai boxer from a bar for a battle between the sheets is not impossible. Getting your nose bloodied by trying to is not impossible either.

tony jaa muay thai

Tony Jaa wearing traditional Muay Thai mongkhon and pra jiad.

If you want to see Muay Thai in Patpong these days, the Pink Panther Club puts on exhibition matches every night between 10pm and midnight, while the club’s gogo girls sit around in their skimpy outfits waiting for the boxing ring to be dismantled and their poles to once again take center stage. On special nights, the bar opens the ring to touri to try their hand in case you have a sudden urge to prove your masculinity. If you want to try out your Thai boxing skills but the thought of naked women turns your stomach, for an exceptionally aggressive and brutal fight, just run up to any ladyboy and give her a good noogie. Your fight will be on.

If you want to see real Muay Thai in Bangkok, fights are held at Ratchadamnoen Stadium every Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday night, and at Lumpini Stadium every Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday night. Both stadiums have afternoons fights too. You can also catch the action at the Channel 7, Rangsit, Omnoy, and Samrong stadiums.

muay thai knock out

A knock out at Patpong’s Pink Panther Club, probably due to too many shots of Thai whiskey than his opponent’s Muay Thai skills.

Two trips with Dave to Bangkok later, with him getting more vocal about entering the ring during each, I’d finally had enough, slapped a $100 bill on the bar top, and said, “If you can take him, it’s yours.” It was a win-win situation for me: getting to watch Dave’s bod rippling in motion dressed in a skimpy pair of boxing trunks, and at worst having to shower him with attention back in the room to mend his broken ego and battered body. But Somsong had her eye on that bill too. Her favorite customers were obviously flush; some of those riches could be headed her way as long as the two weren’t instead headed for the hospital.

She pulled out her Connect Four set-up and quickly challenged Dave to a game before he could psych himself up enough to hop into the ring. And big surprise: for once, Dave won. Somsong poured him a shot, and gave him a big hug while cooing onto his ear, “You big winner handsome man!” No punches were thrown, but a farang lost to a Thai once again.

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What in the Hell Happened to Tony Jaa?

14 Monday Mar 2011

Posted by Bangkokbois in It's A Gay World

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Movies & Television, Muay Thai

Tony Jaa

Tony Jaa: 0% Body Fat, 100% Man Meat

If you are like me, and you prefer your Thai men to be dark, built, and project an aura of masculinity (so, not fem), then you too probably fell in lust when actor/martial artist Tony Jaa came onto the scene a few short years ago. I don’t recall how I first heard about Tony, or his break out movie, Ong-Bak: The Warrior. But do remember unsuccessfully trying to buy a copy from the pirated DVD vendors along Sukhumvit and at Pantip Plaza. The only reaction elicited by me saying Ong Bak, or Tony Jaa, were quizzical stares from the merchants. My friend Noom was as clueless. I think he got tired of having to stop at every DVD booth with me and finally asked one of the sellers where we could find the movie. 7/11. Duh. Of course.

Tony Jaa

A Young & Beautiful Tony

7/11s in Thailand are what 7/11s in America should aspire to be. Convenient  and cheap, stocking everything one could possibly need in the early hours of the morning. In Thailand the 7/11s actually have sales; though even their regular prices are on par of what you’d pay in a grocery store. None of those gouging prices one pays for convenience back in the States.

First 7/11 we hit, there it was. The DVD I’d been hunting for. For a mere 99 baht. I rushed back to the hotel dragging Noom behind me and plopped the movie into the DVD player. We both enjoyed the film. Tony was hot, cute, ripped, and beat the hell out of a slew of bad guys. Muay Thai at its finest. The plot wasn’t all that, but it was followable, even in Thai (uh, 7/11 doesn’t sell English language DVD’s).

Heralded by Time magazine as “the next Bruce Lee,” Tony Jaa performed all of his stunts without guidewires and other special effects action hero movies have come to rely on. And when he stopped leaping and flying about delivering blow after blow . . . that body, that face, that smile, those eyes! Mommmmmie!

Tom Yun Goong

Tony drips with sex appeal in Tom Yun Goong

Tony quickly followed up with Tom Yun Goong (renamed The Protector for U.S. distribution). The story line this time around had Tony working as a protector for the royal elephants. Blah, blah, blah. Stolen elephants. Blah, blah, blah. Black market. Blah, blah, blah. Go to Australia. The final fight sequence set in a temple with fire, flooded floors, and a dripping wet Tony was an incredible cinematic feast. A visual delight (both Tony and the scene). As in his previous movie, Tony did all of his own stunts, demonstrating his mastery of Muay Thai. And two years later he still was a feast for the eyes. A bit older, but even more handsome. And still a body to die for.

In his third movie to gain international release, Ong Bak 2, Tony took on both the roles of star and director. A prequel to Ong Bak, (though it has absolutely nothing to do with the first movie; ‘prequel’ just means it is set a few hundred years before the original movie) Ong Bak 2 told the story of Tein (Jaa) whose papa was murdered by a bad guy, and then Tien was enslaved by another bad guy, and then Tien killed the second bad guy and a crocodile and is saved by a bad guy who is a good guy but later turns out to be a bad guy when Tien kills the first bad guy who really doesn’t die just before he has to kill the bad guy who was a good guy and now turns out to be a good guy who had to be a bad guy because of the original bad guy.

Uh, and sorry, but that synopsis is actually less confusing than the movie. Even the English Language version. No problemo. Tony kicks ass throughout and slowing the movie down so you can watch each muscle ripple as he moves across the screen is highly suggested. And if you are watching the Thai language version, it’ll sound better, too.

Still in love with the man’s hotness, I was thrilled to discover the next chapter in this storyline Ong Bak 3 at my local Blockbuster. (If you are reading this in 2012 or later, Blockbuster was a popular chain of DVD rental stores that once had thousands of locations across America. Like eight track players Blockbuster is now but a remembrance of a technology of days long gone.) I raced home in anticipation, popped the movie into my DVD player, and . . . WTF?

Ong Bak 3

Hair Extensions, Fat, and Fish . . .WTF?

OK, Ong Bak 2 had already diverged from the Hollywood movie path into the land of Thai. So I hadn’t really expected the next chapter, once again directed by Tony, to avoid the overwrought acting and painfully thinly hidden good vs. evil message of the previous movie. But Tony had other ideas, making its predecessor, Ong Bak 2, look like a masterpiece of character development. The movie was worse than a Thai TV sitcom. Mysticism, ghosts, demons, and screeching damsels in distress left little time for the fighting sequences that made Tony a star. And left room for a much larger role, in his third Ong Bak appearance, for that fat little Thai guy who seems to be in every Thai comedy released in the last 20 years. Toothless for this role. ‘Cuz Thais know nothing is more funny that a toothless character. I chuckle now even thinking about him. Not.

Full of cliches and narrative incoherence, Ong Bak 3 takes up directly where Ong Bak 2 left off. Tien (Tony) gets the shit beat out of him by order of the bad guy who didn’t die in the last movie, then good guys come to save Tien but get killed instead by a new bad guy, then a new good guy saves Tien and gives him to villagers who treat him to a mud bath at the local day spa while the new bad guy kills the old bad guy, and then Tien has a Mr. Miyagi moment with the aforementioned toothless comedic relief just before the new bad guy kills the screeching damsel in distress (not that I cared ‘cuz I don’t pay attention to fish in movies that feature hot near naked male beauty), and then another new bad guy who had a cameo role in the last movie becomes the badest bad guy, but he really is the new bad guy reincarnated (though he didn’t die) who kills Tien except they rewind the movie and have Tien kill the bad guy instead. Oh, yeah, and for some reason the fish lives, too.

Ong Bak 3

Tony wearing his girdle in Ong Bak 3.

I could live with the Thai-ness though, as long as Tony beat the crap out of everyone in the masterful fighting manner he displayed in his previous movies. And he did. But not until the end of the movie. First, he got the shit kicked out of him again and again before he finally fought like only Tony Jaa can. Complete with aerial ballet movements off the backs and tusks of elephants. Sweet!

With the fight sequences finally up to par, you’d think I’d be satisfied. And as an action flick junky, I would be. But part of my love for Tony’s movies is/was Tony. That beautiful hunk of Thai meat. And that’s where the WTF! comes in . . . what in the hell happened to Tony Jaa? I wasn’t even sure that it was him in the movie. Seriously, I even checked the credits. Charlie Sheen has aged better! Granted the make up and hair extensions didn’t help. I think they were suppose to give visual definition to the plot, but after the cost of the make up and elephant rental, they couldn’t afford a plot for Ong Bak 3.

Tony’s once handsome lean face ballooned out to twice its previous width, dragging his facial features along for the ride. It’s not only that he no longer looks like Tony Jaa, now he doesn’t even look like Tony Jaa’s ugly older sister. He’s starting to look like that fat little Thai comic guy. I quite expect him to be toothless in his next role. And his body has followed his face’s lead. What once was a beautifully ripped torso gleaming with strength and muscle is now a barely held together bag of fat skin and bone. I’m pretty sure he was wearing a girdle in one scene. Tony! What have you done! Think about your fans! Think about my mastabatory fantasies! Think about becoming Weight Watchers’ next spokesperson . . .

Tony Jaa

The sweetness once known as Tony Jaa.

I know it is not unusual for Thais to go from handsome to hideous over night. A lot of Thais just don’t age well. And maybe I should have been expecting it with Tony. His overly dramatic efforts both as director and star in Ong Bak 3 didn’t manage to make me tear up as intended. But the loss of this male beauty did.

WTF?

WTF?! Award Winner: Tony Jaa

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Sawatdee and welcome to the new and improved Bangkokbois Gay Thailand Blog! Okay, so it’s not necessarily improved, just hosted on a new site. And it’s not just about Thailand, though that still is the main focus. And it’s not all gay either, unless you’re not and then you’ll think it’s pretty damn gay I’m sure. All of the penis might tip you off. Which means if you are not of the required legal age to be looking at penis other than your own, you should leave. And go tell your parental units they suck at their job.

But it is a blog and one out of three ain’t bad. Besides, Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand Blog For People Of Legal Age is just too wordy. But so is Dancing With The Devil In The City Of Angels, which is really the title of this blog.

As cool of a title as that is, Google just ain’t sharp enough to figure out that means this blog is mostly about Thailand. And pretty damn gay to boot. The penis part even Google figured out. Which is a good thing. ‘Cuz Bangkokbois Pretty Gay Mostly About Thailand With Lots Of Penis Blog For People Of Legal Age, I think, was taken by someone else.

Move along, there’s nothing to see here folks; pay no attention to that man behind the curtain:

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