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Take It Off Thursday #7
27 Thursday Mar 2014
Posted Take It Off Thursday
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27 Thursday Mar 2014
Posted Take It Off Thursday
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26 Wednesday Mar 2014
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Noom, my bar boy friend and current love of my life, is directionally challenged. I joke that he could get lost in our hotel room. Because he has. On a visit to Chiang Mai where we stayed at a hotel different from our usual choice, announcing he was going to go pee, he headed down the hall toward the front door. The bathroom was in the opposite direction. That was good for a laugh. The first time.
It’s not so much that Noom is confused by the points of a compass, but rather the concept of north and south is completely foreign to him. Up and down work better in his mind. As long as he is facing in the right direction. Chiang Mai is ‘up’. And gets identified by an upward nod of his head. The two go together. Always. So if Noom mentions Chiang Mai, he nods his head upwards too. Just in case I don’t know where that city is.
That cute little habit would go unnoticed except he has to orientate himself first. Which often looks like a dog making circles before it lies down. That once he feels his body is properly aligned for an upward nod means he’s nodding toward Phuket is unimportant. But then when you are the master of the universe and the center of the world, all directions flow from you anyway.
Noom does better in elevators where the concept of up and down is a more immediate one. A long as I’ve turned him around to face the door in case he forgot. Again. Waiting for an elevator to arrive isn’t a problem. He pushes both the up and down call buttons rather than having to make a decision. And knows if the down elevator arrives first when we are going up, I’ll grab him and pull him back into the lobby to wait for the right car. Most of the time.
Deciding which floor button to push once we’re in the elevator isn’t a big problem for him either. He makes his selection, but then his finger hovers over his choice waiting for me to agree. Or not. Except when we are headed down for breakfast at our usual hotel in Bangkok. The breakfast buffet is on the third floor. Noom always pushed the button for the lobby. And then follows up by pushing the one for the correct floor. I’m not sure that is about being directionally challenged as much as it is about tradition. Noom is big on traditions. On remembering which floor we are headed to, not so much.
When we are out and about in Bangkok it would be easier if I took care of dealing with getting us to where we are going but Noom is more of a leader than a follower. Which may explain why he has such of a problem following directions. No problemo. He knows I’ve got his back. And I know getting to stare at his gorgeous backside in motion while we walk down the street is more important than whereever it is we are going anyway. ‘Cuz it’s the journey, not the destination. Which, if I become too mesmerized with the view we’ll never reach anyway.
Having at least learned one thing from my days as a boy scout – well, in addition to learning how to diddle the other little boy scouts – when we first started getting lost in Bangkok I’d momentarily take my eye always from what I’ve always considered my primary destination and would call out the direction we needed to go. “Head south,” seemed to me to be a pretty definitive call. I just didn’t know that in Thai that meant turn around and look at me in total confusion. But I’m smarter than the average bear so I quickly changed that call to something that would make more sense to Noom. “Turn right,” made for an easier set of directions to follow. Ooops. My bad. “No, your other right,” didn’t help matters. Noom’s sense of humor isn’t all that much better than his sense of direction. “The one you write with,” however, did the trick.
So if you ever spot a hunky, muscled Thai guy walking down the street being followed by a no-less handsome farang signing out, “The one you write with,” followed by “The one you don’t write with,” a block later, that’s Noom and I. And if you are not positive it is us, if the Thai guy momentarily halts, raises his hand and mimics writing – just to be sure – that’s definitely us.
I speak, and understand, more Thai than I let on, a ruse that I’ve allowed to carry on far too long now ‘cuz if I suddenly became more proficient in his language Noom would worry about who I learned that from. My proficiency in Thai is more about survival and making my days easier than communication anyway. But occasionally I slip. On night headed back to our hotel – our first night spent at that particular establishment – knowing both that the taxi driver needed directions and that Noom would get them wrong I said, “Leeow kwah.” Noom was shocked. “How you know that?” he cried. I thought I was busted. Nope. He missed that I’d jut let loose with a Thai phrase I wasn’t suppose to know; that I already had figured out how to get back to our hotel was what baffled him.
Of course I think that’s all about Noom’s sense of direction. Or lack thereof. Noom know it’s more about me being a farang and just not getting what’s important in the world. It’s why we work so well together. We’re both willing to allow the other guy his peculiarities. And to blame each other’s respective culture rather than finding fault with the person. No matter how trying that occasionally makes life. He probably wouldn’t be as willing to cut me so much slack for my farang-ness, but knows, in the end, I don’t really care where we end up. As long as we end up there together. Which is how it should be. The getting there part, however, can be problematic.
In Thailand – as we American like to say – they drive on the wrong side of the road. If what Thais do behind the wheel can be considered driving. I value my life too much to ever test my driving skills against those of the locals in Bangkok, so that’s not a problem. But logic dictates that if you are in a country where they drive on the left, pedestrian traffic flow should follow. But then this is Thailand where the rule of logic is to do whatever is the most illogical.
You’d think with Thailand being a collectiveness society, the herd mentality would rule. But your first experience making your way down a sidewalk in Bangkok will prove just how wrong of a supposition that is. The crowd may be herd-like in size, but it’s a dysfunctional herd. Half of the people walk on the left, half on the right. And another half just stop and stand there blocking everyone else’s passage while they decide which side of the sidewalk to try next. That must drive German touri completely bonkers. I know, being half German by heritage, it does me.
I ignore the traffic flow on sidewalks in Bangkok and instead keep my eye peeled for ancient crones with umbrellas unfurled when it is not raining. At my eye-level. I assume they all have sons or grandsons who make their living as an ophthalmologist and are just trying to drum up business for their clan. Being capable of multi-tasking, I’d still be able to keep an eye on the crowd’s movement but my other eye is busy watching for dog shit on the sidewalk. Or large missing pieces of sidewalk. Or one of Bangkok’s slithering beggars making their way along the sidewalk.
I don’t think those guys make much money by begging. It’s hard to hold your begging cup up where people can see it and make progress down the sidewalk at the same time when you are missing most of your appendages. I’ve often thought they’d make a better living if the city paid them to clean up the dog shit instead. I mean they’re already down there and all. Same same for the blind singing beggars who disrupt the traffic flow. They may not be able to see those droppings, but when you lose one sense your other senses are supposed to be heightened. So they should be able to smell them. As well as the scent of the slithering beggars who could then do their job instead of having to say, “I got this one.”
Just saying.
Noom and I do, however, use the BTS in Bangkok a lot and the dysfunctional herd along its pathways is a pain in the ass. There is no street to step out into to avoid the crowd so you are forced to deal with a mass of people all trying to claim the same foot of cement while headed in opposite directions. Half of whom are headed the wrong way in the first place. At least those who are following Noom. Like me. But I can go with the flow. Even when it is flowing in the wrong direction. When we hit the stairs, however, the farang, or German, in me comes out.
Following the logic of vehicular traffic in Thailand, you should walk up what, as an American, you would usually consider the down staircase. And vice versa. Unless you are Thai. Then it is a free for all. I usually allow Noom to walk wherever he wants, wherever his sense of direction tells him to, wherever he feels the need. Until we hit the stairs. Then I correct him. It may not matter in the grand scheme of things, but little steps, ya know? And it isn’t about direction so much as it is about safety. Noom knows it’s really about me being farang.
In most cases Noom indulges me in being me. If I insist on only pushing one elevator button in the lobby, who cares? If I think it really matters that we make a right instead of a left, why not? And just because I feel the need to head south instead of north doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I just don’t have my priorities straight. But demanding that we only walk down what I’ve decided is the down staircase is too much. The first few times I corrected him he allowed it. The next time he asked why. And allowed me a minute to explain before he pointed out what should have been obvious. Sure we’d just gotten off a train and the herd was all headed downward. But the opposite side of the stairway was unencumbered by bodies. “Yes, but it free,” he explained pointing out the empty flight of steps just waiting for us. Huh. He had a point. Or I’ve been visiting Thailand too long.
So now I let Noom lead me down whichever side of the staircase at BTS stations he feels best. Except for at Siam, down is the only way you can go anyway, so we’re safe and will probably end up where we were going. Eventually. And Noom is happy that he’s straightened out his farang on one of life’s little rules: The road not taken is the one with too many bodies on it. I allow him that little victory. Because I love the guy. And because I know, sooner or later, we’re gonna use the escalator instead and Noom will try to go down the up escalator.
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26 Wednesday Mar 2014
Posted Hump Day Is Bump Day
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25 Tuesday Mar 2014
Posted Tips
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I love Thailand. Its postcard-picture perfect beaches, its cool, fog-draped mountains and towering other-worldly limestone peaks, the hustle and bustle of Bangkok, the laid-back I’m-finally-on-holiday ambiance of Chiang Mai, it’s never-ending display of gold encrusted gods in temples, shrines, and even on street corners, the warm smiles of strangers that remind you why the country deserves its nickname . . . what’s not to like? And then there are the men of Thailand too. Slim boys with an androgenous appeal, hunky body builders oozing masculinity, the boy-next-door types who make you wish you’d grown up in a different neighborhood, all flashing those glorious Thai smiles in your direction. How can you not love Thailand?
First-time visitors to the Land of Smiles walk away mesmerized by the country’s beauty, taken with its richly exotic appeal, and often bewildered by its quirky customs. Frequent visitors begin to hone in on the country’s faults, as amusing as they often are. But ask either what they like most about Thailand, and sooner than later the country’s rich and diverse smorgasbord of delectable treats takes center stage. Like Thailand itself, when it comes to Thai food there is both the familiar and exotic, the mundane and quirkily odd. From simple streetside food carts offerings to the elegantly presented dishes of Royal Thai Cuisine, Thailand has something for every taste bud. And more often than not, your mouth will be wowed.
Thais are notoriously proud of their country and its people. Xenophobic to a fault, they are also both suspicious of and enamored with western culture. That paradox often provides a good laugh among visitors. Almost as often as it results in a good deal of head scratching. And no where does the odd Thai version of a familiar western concept arise as often as it does at the dinner table. Kipling wrote the East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet. It’s a shame the chefs in Thailand never read English literature. Fusion foods are one thing. Sometime even a very good thing. But when Thai chefs attempt to cook for the western palate, they usually get it wrong. Not that you can blame them. Farang are a strange breed. But with the vast array of delicious Thai dishes available, Thais would do better to stick with what they know. Case in point: those small hot dogs the locals try to pas off as sausage at breakfast.
You can’t be a fan of irony and not at least get a small chuckle from the tiny sausages that the locals feel are de rigueur for a farang-style breakfast. Before 10 a.m. what passes for a sausage in Thailand are more ubiquitous than 7/11s. And often serve as a quick visual reminder of the local lad you paid to spend the previous night with you. Anywhere else in the world they’d be called hot dogs, albeit small ones at hat. In Thailand they are called Farang food. Even if farang have never encountered them back home.
The first time you encounter one at a hotel’s breakfast buffet, often floating in the tepid water that fills a chafing dish not doing its job, it’s a WTF? moment. The accompanying sign proclaims they are sausages – at times even going as far as to identify whether they are pork, beef, or chicken based, as though what they are actually made from has anything to do with what was once a living, breathing creature. But that’s meat by-products for you. If you had half a brain, or cared about your health, you’d give them a pass anywhere in the world. But as a Westerner you’re familiar with chowing down on the parts of an animal that should, in all rights, be discarded, or, at best, used to produce pet food. And if you have not yet seen what a cow looks like in Thailand, those vaguely familiar shapes seem like a worthy addition to your breakfast plate.
A teasing nibble tells you that unlike with the wide assortment of fried and sauteed bugs the locals all enjoy, your breakfast sausage is safe. It’s also bland. Almost tasteless. Which may not be a bad thing. Thinking that maybe the chicken version might be better, you give one a try. Nope. Just as lacking in flavor, it’s more about color than origin. Kinda like their version of orange juice.
At least if you are truly blessed you’re not dining on a served plate featuring a heaping spoonful of canned pork and beans. Those damn British should never have been allowed to influence the colonized world. At least in those country subjugated by the French, good bread still exists as a nod to their days of rule. Mushy peas, on the other hand, are a crime against humanity. But then karma being what it is, the Indian take-away joints – showing they learned their lesson of how to abuse a chafing dish as well – that abound on London’s street corners provide the bitch slap those Brits had coming to them. But why the rest of us have to be subjected to what is nothing more than a hot dog, no matter how intricately carved, is beyond me. You’re almost better off booking a hotel room that doesn’t include a free breakfast.
But there’s the rub. Breakfast is a tradition among Westerners, with a very specific menu suitable for morning meals. In Thailand what is eaten for breakfast is often not that much different than the countless small meals they eat throughout the day. As a concept, the western breakfast in Thailand doesn’t exist. At least not in the version you are familiar with. You could say the hell with it and just head for the closest Dunkin’ Donuts. But if international fast food is your game, you’d be much better off making a beeline for the nearest Black Canyon Coffee as I often do. Yup, their prices are ridiculously high. But while their coffee is acceptable at best, they have a version of the Northern Thailand sausage staple, Sai Ua, that is to die for.
Despite what they do to hot dogs at hotel breakfasts, Thais have a love affair with sausage. They are an efficient meal; they keep meat from spoiling, use up less-desirable parts of an animal, and disguise the flavor of meat that isn’t quite fresh. And they’re cheap too. Pork is the most popular meat by-product used as filling, and ingredients like garlic, chilies, red curry paste, and fresh herbs make Thai sausages taste much more interesting than many American or European types. And you can find them everywhere.
Sai Ua, the version you’ll find in Chiang Mai (though it’s also quite popular throughout the country) is usually displayed in a thick coil, several feet long, that leaves little question of the pig intestine used as its casing. Every cook has his own version, but most include Kaffir leaves, red curry paste, lemon grass, tumeric, and lots of pork fat. Yummy! Once stuffed, Sai Ua are left to ferment for a few hours or an entire day before they’re cooked, giving them a distinctly sour taste. It is usually served in fairly thick slices. Black Canyon’s version is heavy on pepper and flavorful spices. And are just the thing your mouth needs to wake it up in the morning.
As popular is the traditional Issan version of sausage, Sai Grok. The main ingredients for Sai grok are minced pork, sticky rice, garlic, more garlic, pepper, salt, and a bit more garlic. Again, every maker has his own version, but with sai grok the rice is pivotal – its primary function is to act as a catalyst for fermentation to get the taste of soured meat. Which may not sound appetizing, but once you’ve tried one you’ll be hooked.
More familiar to Bangkok visitors is the other traditional sausage from the northeastern part of Thailand, Nam. Like with Sai Grok the main ingredient of this sausage is cooked jasmine rice for a little fermentation Nam usually has less garlic than Sai Grok, and takes on a pinkish hue when barbecued, which is the only way to cook it. The sausage links and balls you most often see on the streets of Bangkok are usually a version of Nam, with the cheaper versions heavy on rice and the better sausage mostly made of pork – or what can still be legally called pork. You may not be able to tell the difference (which the food car owner is counting on) but any local will know immediately which is which. Your best bet, as with any food cart, is to buy from where all the locals are picking up their dinner.
The next time you’re confronted with a tiny hot dog masquerading as sausage at breakfast in Thailand, take a page from Nancy Reagan’s play book and just say no. Just outside the hotel’s door you can find sausage that will make your mouth water, at a very cheap price. And while you are then enjoying your morning meal you can thank the gods the Thais have not yet heard of corn dogs. Because Americans too have inflicted some horrendous culinary mistakes on the world.
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25 Tuesday Mar 2014
Posted Twinky Tuesday
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24 Monday Mar 2014
Posted Tips
inOne of the perennial ice-breaking questions asked of potential customers by bar boys in Bangkok is, “Where you stay?” For some that may be one of the few English phrases they’ve learned, and regardless of your answer you’ll quickly hear about what a hansum man you are. For the more experienced bar boy, your answer will tell him a lot about your financial status – both how rich you are and how willing you are to throw cash at indulgences. Or not.
Bangkok’s bar boys may not be able to identify where America is on a map (or Thailand for that matter) but they all know where the Shangri La Hotel is. And what that means to their wallet. And while they may have never visited Khaosan Road, if that’s your answer they do know a short-time off is their best bet and they’ll quickly suggest using one of Patpong’s short-time hotels for your quickie. But hotels in Bangkok are not used for just sex alone. Where you stay can make or break your holiday. Figuring out which area in town fits your needs best can be as important as deciding which of the naked hunks standing on stage will best curl your toes. For a newbie to Bangkok, the latter is the easier of the two choices.
A reader’s recent question reminded me of just how daunting of a task choosing a hotel in Bangkok can be for a first time visitor. Most turn to an internet booking site these days to narrow down their search for the perfect place to lay their head while on holiday. But with Agoda alone offering 1,388 hotels to choose from in Bangkok, you’ll have a headache long before choosing which might best fill your needs. You can narrow your search by quality, but then there are plenty of hotels listed as a three-star lodging that, at best, really qualify as a two-star. Price too is a common way for potential customers to refine their search for a hotel. But while that may keep you from spending $300 per night a well as helping to avoid the dives that only charge $30, there is no guarantee that you’ll get what you pay for. Besides, the remaining hotels to choose from are still all over the place.
Amenities too offer a checklist of which hotels might be acceptable; a swimming pool matters to some, free wi-fi is a must for many, and an on-site gym is important to some guests while on-site massage service is a necessity for others. What services a hotel offers its guest may be a deal-maker or deal-breaker, but even if you bat a thousand on those that matter to you, there’s still no guarantee that that hotel will fill your needs once you step off the property. Location, location, location reigns supreme in real estate, and that holds true when the real estate you are considering is for temporary accommodations too. Bangkok is huge. And which area of town your hotel is located in will play a pivotal role in how much you enjoy your holiday in the Big Mango.
Most of the larger internet booking sites realize location maters and offer users the ability to refine their hotel searches by area. For the newbie visitor that can cause problems. First, being unfamiliar with Bangkok, the difference between saying in Ratchadaphisek versus Siam is not readily apparent (both bill themselves as centers of shopping and offering a major clubbing scene). The Grand Palace area would appeal to tourist looking for Thai culture, Khaosan Road to the backpacking crowd. But Agoda considers them one and the same; the tourist looking to delve into ancient Thailand will be in for a rude awakening when they book a room at Buddy Lodge. And while ‘Sukhumvit’ may have a meaning to those familiar with Bangkok, it means little to a newbie who has not ye been there – and there is a world of difference between staying around Soi 3 and its streets teaming with straight sex tourists and visitors from the Arabian Gulf and Soi 60-something which will redefine ‘off-the-beaten-path’ for newbie visitors.
You could, instead, go with what at least sounds familiar and limit your hotel choices to those in the ‘Bangkok Riverside’ area. But if you thought Bangkok was huge, the Chao Phraya dwarfs it in size and you could easily find your perfect hotel is a good half hour away from everything and anything you wanted to do and see. On the plus side, at least Agoda has finally recognized there are two airports operating in Bangkok these days and has split their ‘Airport’ area into Suvarnabhumi and Don Muang now. None of which would help a first-time visiting lesbians know that Ratchada would probably make for their best home away from home. Especially since the booking sites use the area’s more formal name of Ratchadaphisek.
Consistency too is a problem on internet booking sites. No one can agree on which names to use to designate which area of town. And even within a single site those designations can change. Agoda used to consider the Grand Hyatt Erawan Bangkok Hotel to be located in the ‘Embassy’ area. Which no longer exists. Now you’ll find it listed as being in ‘Siam’. As is The Fifth Residence, though there is a world of difference between the neighborhoods surrounding those two hotels
Sex tourists, of course, are only interested in sex and while that can be found pretty much anywhere in town, for the gay visitor that usually means Patpong. Those with more than their penis in mind, usually have other activities planned for their inaugural visit to Bangkok. Cultural sites like the Grand Palace and Wat Pho top the list. And since Bangkok is usually listed as one of the top five shopping destinations in the world, cruising its malls and markets is often on first time visitors’ agendas too. With that fuller agenda in mind, here then is a break down of those areas of town I’d consider appropriate for a first-time visitors to Bangkok:
Patpong.
I’ll start with the obvious area of interest for most gay visitors to Bangkok: sex. And Patpong, the city’s famous red light district is where you’ll find sex for sale. It is home to both Soi 4 and its gay pubs and clubs, and Soi Twilight where you’ll find the city’s largest grouping of gay gogo bars. And not much else. Though it is one of the more popular areas for gay visitors because of its bars, visitors will find themselves leaving the area more often than staying close to their hotel. While taxis are plentiful, finding one that will use its meter in Patpong can be a chore. And the BTS, despite the claims of some, is not all that convenient. Especially if you are staying along Suriwong as most do. As cheap as transpo is in Bangkok, in my opinion you are better off staying in a different area that offers more daytime activities of interest and taking a taxi into Patpong at night.
Agoda no longer lists Patpong as one of its hotel location areas. It uses the broader area of Silom/Sathorn instead. All of which is still convenient to Patpong and, at worst, an 80 baht taxi ride away. Which may be a good thing. In the broader area you’ll find plenty of places to eat – in Patpong proper your choice are limited. And generally overpriced.
Silom/Sathorn.
This area, extending from Patpong to the Chao Phraya and into the Sathorn business district is probably too large to consider as a single part of town. Nonetheless, most of it is convenient to Patpong as long as you stay along one of the major roads and/or the BTS lines. Just outside of Patpong, your options for dining improve greatly and the value for price paid in accommodations increases too.
I’ll separate Silom from Sathorn, and cut it off before you hit the river even though the booking sites don’t. There are many good choices for hotels along Silom, and plenty of good places to eat nearby each too. Around the Chong Nonsi BTS station there are several hotels popular with gay visitors, and with only a five-minutes walk to Patpong many of these are priced in the $50 to $75 range, making them a much better deal. This is an active area, and convenient for travel around the city too.
Sathorn is not as desirable of an area for most tourists, being just removed from the usual haunting grounds and a bit of a hike to the nearest BTS Station. Though I’d guess you’d consider the ever popular and cheap Malaysia Hotel to be in Sathorn. So there is some preference in this area for those looking for down-scale lodgings. The Pinnacle Lumpinee is in this general area too, and like the Malaysia it has its fans among gay travellers, though it is a slightly more upscale property. But you’ll still be spending a lot of your time taking taxis to get to where you want to go.
Sukhumvit.
I already mentioned the problem with the internet booking sites using ‘Sukhumvit’ as an area because of how long the road is and how different one neighborhood along its length is from another. Some split Sukhumvit into ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ which helps a bit. More usable would be to sperate the street by its BTS stations. So that’s what I’ll do.
Nana Station covers Soi Nana down to Soi 11, or so. Closest to the station (and headed toward the smaller numbers of soi) the area is dominated by a mix of straight sex touri and those who give the area its name of Little Arabia. You’ll find everything from one to five star hotels along this stretch, as well as everything from street food to five-star restaurants. There is an active, and crowded, street market that fills the sidewalk along this part of Sukhumvit nightly and stretches down to Soi 11, where you’ll find some of the more popular male massage places in town as well as trendy clubs, bars, and bistros for locals and visitors alike (though these are not specifically gay establishments).
There are many hotels in this area that offer good value for your money and, depending on how close to Sukhumvit they are, offer quick access to the BTS to get to many other areas you’ll want to visit as a tourist too. There’s always something happening just outside your hotel, restaurants for every taste and budget, and a slightly edgy feel thanks to the ladyboy street walkers and Nigerian drug dealers and scam artists.
Asok Station picks up from Soi 11 and continues down to Soi 19 and Asoke. A bit more upscale than Nana, it too offers accommodations in every price range and places to eat for every budget. It’s also home to Soi Cowboy, where the straight sex touri play. Terminal 21, one of Bangkok’s newer upscale-ish shopping mall is located here too. Plus you have an MTR station in addition to the BTS to take you elsewhere in town. Like the area around Soi Nana, it too offers lots to do both during the day and night and is a well-centered location for most visitors.
Phrom Phong is the next BTS station down the line and for a first-time visitors as far out on Sukhumvit as you should consider staying. The Emporium Mall is located adjacent to the station and while you won’t find much streetside shopping along this part of Sukhumvit, there are lots of great place to eat. The upscale hotels are still stylish here, but the three-star places offering bargain prices quickly dissolve into two-star places with more aspirations than amenities.
Chitlom/Wireless.
Headed in the opposite direction along the Sukhumvit BTS line you’ll first come to Chitlom, which Agoda considers as an area of Bangkok but doesn’t consider the Grand Hyatt Erawan to be located in even though it is steps from the BTS station of that name. Huh.
Some of the city’s best hotels, or at least its priciest are in this area, which is kinda sorta bordered by the Chitlom and Ratchadamari BTS stations. It is walkable to CentralWorld, Bangkok’s largest shopping mall, and offers a good range of restaurants and bistros for those staying in the area. Personally, unless its about the hotel of your dreams, I’d move up to Siam and take the BTS to Chitlom when warranted instead.
Siam.
Siam is your best bet if shopping malls are your thing. There is a smattering of (straight) nightlife venues here too, but everything in the Siam area revolves around shopping. And the hotels tend to charge higher prices knowing that shopaholics will gladly pay for the convenience of 24-hour shopping just outside their door.
Siam is also probably the city’s area of worst traffic congestion. And like Patpong is for the sex tourist, for shopping addicts in Siam you might be better off commuting into the area rather than staying there. On the plus side, transpo option are numerous and the Siam BTS station is the interchange for both the Sukhumvit and Silom lines.
Pratunam.
Pratunam too is an area for those who love to shop. And like Siam it is one of the most notorious areas of town for parking lot-like traffic. This is the home to the Pratunam Market, Platinum Fashion Mall, and Pantip Plaza. For shoppers looking for bargains, it’s nirvana. For anyone else it can be a nightmare.
During rush hour (9am to 11 pm) it can be difficult to convince a taxi driver to take you into Pratunam. Which is a bitch if you are staying there. And the walk to the closest BTS station is quite a hike. Outside of the malls and some street food carts, there’s not much in the way of dining in and around Pratunam, and other than the malls not much else to do.
Khaosan Road.
Khaosan too is a better destination than a place to lay your head, though it is tops for backpackers and Euro-trash. Far removed from most of the other areas of interest to touri, it does offer one of the city’s more active nightlife scenes, and there are many cultural sites nearby too. Hotels are cheap(er) and more down-scale in this area, but if you get off Khaosan Road itself there are plenty of good restaurants offering decent food at cheap prices.
There is no BTS or MTR access to the Khaosan area unfortunately, and while tuk tuks are plentiful they’re so used to scamming backpackers you’ll overpay no matter how hard you bargain for your ride. If you are under 30, this may still be an acceptable area. But it helps if you are stoned too.
Ratchada.
Ratchada, or Ratchadaphisek, too is a good area for younger visitors as it is filled with clubs for both the straight and gay touri. It is also home to a group of clubs catering to the lesbian crowd. But its clubs, bars, cinemas, massage parlors, and shopping malls almost exclusively cater to a local Thai audience. For some reason it has also become an area that caters to the Chinese and Japanese tour bus crowd. For Westerners, not so much. Accommodations are inexpensive, dining options numerous, but Ratchada is off the beaten path for most tourist-related activities and you may find you spend far too much of your time getting into and out of the area to make it suitable for your needs.
The River.
On the internet booking sites, the Bangkok Riverside area can be misleading. Yes, you will be staying next to or near the Chao Phraya, but that could end up being so far out of the main tourist zone that you won’t even know you are in Bangkok. On the other hand, choosing carefully could mean a perfect spot from which to explore the city.
Accommodations are generally higher when the Chao Phraya is in sight. But not necessarily so. Agoda considers the Centre Point Silom to be in the Silom/Sathorn area, but it’s almost next door to the Shangri-la, both of which are real close to the Saphan Taksin BTS Station a well as the central pier for catching a river express boat. The famed Mandarin Oriental is riverside too. Plus it has its own riverboat pier. The Peninsula Hotel, on the other hand, is on the opposite side of the river and far removed from the rest of town (though I guess if you are staying there and using one of the hotel’s limos to get around that may not matter).
But within a block or two of the river you can find less expensive accommodations too. And all of those located along or by Charoenkrung Road mean an incredible number of place to eat from some of the city’s best street food carts to some of its favorite five-star restaurants. The fact is you can live like a king (even if you are more of a queen) along the River of Kings without breaking your bank account.
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