Wat Yai Sawang Arom 1

As popular as they are on the internet, I don’t post cute videos of kittens doing funny things on this blog. Not just because of my general aversion to pussy, but because cats are vile, vindictive, evil creatures who are only in it for themselves. They may have others fooled, but I know what we really need to fear is not the zombie apocalypse but rather the day the cats decide to make their move. Besides, I’ve always thought the pix of naked Asian dudes I post are all the daily dose of cuteness ya really need.

My mom has a cat. I’ve never bothered to learn what its name is. ‘Cuz Lucifer works just as well. When I visit, it runs and hides in some dark little corner of the house. Which, temporarily, is the closest to its home turf – hell – that it can find. Moms thinks it just doesn’t like men. Which alone would be reason enough to despise the creature. But I know what it doesn’t like are my hiking boots. And walls. I never said cats aren’t intelligent. Or at least trainable.

Moms thinks she’s trained her cat too. ‘Cuz she has a two foot square area of her home designated as an open sewer for the cat to shit and piss in when it isn’t busy shitting and pissing in some other part of the house that for some unfathomable reason pissed it off. So just who trained who is debatable. That cats are evil is not. Just consider that when the gods were creating the world and finally got down to felines, the cat said, “Hey, ya know what? When you make our penis, make it barbed.”

That’s what my psyche reminds me of anytime I see a cat. Barbed penis. I’d post a photo for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, but with the bee penis photo I posted last week still freshly in your minds, that may be too much. It could be the straw that broke the camel’s back. And then in your weakened mental state, you’d end up going out and buying a cat for a pet.

Wat Yai Sawang Arom 2

Dogs are an entirely different matter. Okay, not Chihuahuas. Chihuahuas are not really dogs. They’re the failed attempt by The Cat Agenda to breed with another species to fool humans while they populated the world with Satan’s spawn. But real dogs, those whose height comes up to your knee, are a bountiful blessing of pure love. They are the Thai bar boy of the animal world. As long as you take care of them, they will do anything for you. They are always happy to see you, and no matter how long it’s been since the last time they locked eyes with you, when you return again the joy on their faces is like their entire world has just begun again.

So while it is not unusual (nor exciting) to run across a cat at a Wat in Thailand, supposedly as a deterrent to rats – as though that was the real problem – meeting a temple’s dog helps remind you of what The Buddha is all about. Dogs are enlightened animals. They exhibit all the principles that Buddhism teaches. And I’m pretty sure when you’ve lived the best life you can, your final reward is to be reincarnated as a dog.

Which brings us to Wat Yai Sawang Arom, a temple in Thailand I’ve never visited. But now plan to. That’s the nice thing about being a wataholic. There is always yet another temple to discover. And this one not only has a temple dog, but a pack of them. Better yet, Wat Yai Sawang Arom’s wolf-pack is 99% It’s-All-About-Love golden retrievers. Which also brings us to my first ever embedded video. ‘Cuz making you click over to watch the video wouldn’t be in the spirit of a golden retriever. (Whereas with a cat you’d not only have to click but doing so would take you to a site showing lesbian porn.)

(Okay. So WordPress is evidently run by a cat. You can’t embed videos. Or maybe only videos of dogs are not allowed. So you will have to click on this photo after all.

Wat Yai Sawang Arom 3

But I promise it is not of lesbians.)

As for the wat itself, there’s a Wat Yai Sawang Arom in/on/by Koh Kret, one down by Phuket, one in Singburi province, and one up by Chiang Mai. So I’m not yet sure which has the golden retrievers. The one in Singburi has a huge collection of Nang Yai (over-sized shadow puppets) and is one of the few places in Thailand you can still watch a performance of this traditional art. So even without the dogs it’d still be a cool place to visit. And I’ve been looking for a better excuse than pottery to hit Koh Kret, so maybe a day playing with dogs might do the trick.

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