An inviting shot to start the new year off, butt I can’t not mention that thanks to this week’s republican party presidential nominee turkey shoot, we must now bid Michele Bachmann’s tail feathers a fond adieu. I’m gonna miss that crazy bitch. But all hope is not lost. Rick Santorum’s star has risen . . . and I can’t quit giggling.

Expect to see the ‘Santorum Hired Gay Porn Star Escort’ headlines within the next few weeks.