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The 12 Gays of Christmas

. . . and speaking of hung, do you know the story behind our tradition of hanging stockings for Santa to fill? It’s a heartwarming holiday tale about poverty and prostitution:

A nobleman of yore lost his wife to a long and painful illness leaving him to raise his three daughters alone. In addition to the dead wife, he made some other bad investments and became quite destitute. Impoverished, his girls’ future did not look bright. Dowries were all the rage in those days; you had to pay someone to take one of your female offspring off your hands. Not fortunate enough to be born male, those who could not come up with the cash to land a husband often faced a life of prostitution instead.

A defrocked monk, Sinter Klaus, heard of the family’s plight and noting that all three girls were too ugly to be successful prostitutes decided to discreetly help them out. According to Donald E. Dossey, author of Holiday Folklore, Phobias, and Fun, the original Santa Claus “secretly left bags of gold near the chimney for them, one at a time. The third gift of gold fell into a stocking that was hanging near the chimney to dry.”

Papa caught Sinter Klaus leaving gold one night and as thanks for not having to spend the next few years pimping his daughters out, ignored the good man’s plea to not tell anyone about his generous act. Word spread and the tradition of hanging Christmas stockings by the chimney with care began. You may want to pass the tale on to whomever fills your stocking and stress that gold is the traditional filler.

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