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Ready, Willing, and Able . . . For the Right Price
For some reason the term ‘sex tourist’ has a negative connotation. Frequent visitors to Thailand will make a point of telling you they are not a sex tourist, even though they then go on to tell you about their favorite gogo bar, favorite boy, and best place to find freelancers. An image of a plane load of creepy old guys flying into an under-developed country to be bused about on a week long spree of hitting sex clubs, gogo bars, saunas, and whore houses is what comes to mind when you hear the term ‘sex tourist’. And while that may hold true for the Japanese, in reality anyone who has ever proclaimed, “I Love Thailand!” is probably a sex tourist. If you think you are not, here’s a heads up:
You Are A Sex Tourist If .. .
1. You use the word boy to refer to men in Thailand.
2. You know what the words off and joiner fee mean.
3. You have visited Pattaya more than once.
4. When someone says ‘walking street’ visions of neon lights fill your head.
5. When you say you like Phuket, you mean Patong Beach.
6. You’ve bookmarked any of the gay Thailand forums.
7. You think the only public transportation available at Suvarnabhumi Airport is the bus to Pattaya.
8. You know the time schedule for the bus to Pattaya.
9. You can discuss the relative merits of Sunnee Plaza, Jomtien, and Boyz Town.
10. You still call Duangthawee Plaza Soi Twilight.
11. You book a room at any hotel within five minutes of Patpong.
12. You know how much to tip a boy in Bangkok, Chiang Mai, and Pattaya, respectively.
13. You’ve ever stayed at the Malaysia Hotel.
14. You didn’t know there was a Babylon in Iraq.
15. You pack an entire box of condoms in your suitcase.
16. You hang out on the 2nd floor at DJ Station.
17. The only hero you know is on Sukhumvit Soi 11.
18. You know where the Tawan guys exercise in Lumpini Park.
19. You stay at a hotel that lists condoms as an amenity.
20. You’ve been to Bangkok ten times and have never seen the Grand Palace.
21. You’ve been to Bangkok ten times.
22. You know the name of any mamasan in Thailand.
23. Any mamasan in Thailand knows your name.
24. You think paying $8 for a small Singha is normal.
25. You refer to yourself as a butterfly.
Related Posts You Might Enjoy:
First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars
Dear Ann,
How Much Is That Puppy In The Window: The Cost of A Night With A Gogo Boy In Thailand
My favorite is #3.
I guess that makes me a sex tourist
Congrats Glenn! The good thing about being a self-proclaimed sex tourist is you can ignore those looks of disdain and enjoy yourself!
1. You use the word boy to refer to men in Thailand.
surely that should be “boi” – and don’t call me Shirly
10. You still call Duangthawee Plaza Soi Twilight.
even the most ardent proponents of Duangthawee Plaza now call it Soi Pratuchai – literal transaltion “male back door”, so much better than Soi Twilight!
17. The only hero you know is on Sukhumvit Soi 11.
I used to think Chuan Lek Pai could almost be a hero before his latesty excesses!
25. You refer to yourself as a butterfly.
I refer to myself as a “helicopter” – butterfly is much too light a term if you are seriously into “fluttering around”!
love your writing style, an interesting blog!
bkkguy
Thanks bkkguy! And I love the helicopter idea . . . think I’ll have some T shirts made up.
I once watched a fuck-show, where the top was rotating on the bottom, there I thought “I would call this part of the show: “The helicopter”!”
But back to the topic: I come to Thailand to promote German-Thai friendship, for world peace (make love, not war); and when I give money to a boy, it is development aid, because it goes to his family in poor rural areas.
Ah Christian you are a gentleman and a scholar! Keep up the charity work . . . I’ll check with my accountant to see if it’s tax deductible.
I might not be a sex tourist, I’m at least a sexy tourist. That’s what the girls and boys tell me: “Hello sexy man, can I come with you?” “Hello handsome man, where are you going?”
Brilliant. Oh so so true…. I was chuckling until I reached number 13, now I’m laughing out loud with tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks! Good old Malaysia Hotel !
This is a fantastic blog which I’ve only just discovered. Quite Brilliant !
Thanks Devlin!
Hope you enjoy the rest of the blog . . .
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