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Up for You and Up to You
So, you and the male whore you paid for at the gay gogo bar in Bangkok have just left his establishment. What to do, what to do, what to do . . .
How did you get here? With luck, you just finished following my step by step guide for the newbie on negotiating the commercial sex bar boi scene in Bangkok. If not, and you’ve never done this before, you may want to go back and find that post before proceeding. Then, on the other hand, if you and your new friend have already set off on your night’s journey, maybe you didn’t need my help after all!
Unless you hit one of the seedier bars in town, or Jupiter, you probably are not looking for a flop house room for a quickie, but instead are anxious to head back to your hotel. Understandable. But the boi is gonna need his strength for what you have planned. While not a requirement, it’s nice to ask him if he is hungry, He will be. Thai bar bois are always hungry. There are several open air cafes right on Soi Twilight where you will be able to find some white folk food and he’ll find something acceptable to his tastes. Or, out on Suriwong, there are numerous roadside carts offering a huge range of Thai staples, which he’ll be thrilled with and which may cause you to loose a few days of your trip to diarrhea. But the cart food is cheap.
Sated, at least stomach-wise, now you can finally head back to your room.. There are very few hotels in Bangkok that will flat out refuse to allow you to bring back a companion. In fact many not only allow it, they participate by pimping out the room. This is called a joiners fee. It can run between 300 and 800 baht. It is what the hotel charges you for using your room for sex. Hopefully, you registered at one that does not do this. Usually if you book a double room, which costs exactly the same as a single room, even those that charge a joiners fee will waive the charge. Yes, this is Thailand.
Showering Can Be Fun
So up to, and in to your room. Your immediate inclination will be to strip the dude naked and jump his bones. This is not polite. And you are a filthy farang and need to be deloused first anyway. In any case, before you would be able to even begin, your new friend will have turned the TV on and planted himself in front of it. Chill. Give him some time to adjust. Chat a bit. Or try to. The best way to signal that you are ready for sex (because your throbbing erection isn’t an obvious enough clue) is to go take a shower. You need one anyway. And if you fail to take one, your friend is going to be totally grossed out and refuse to have anything to do with you.
Most Thai guys are shy about their body. Yes, he just spent the first part of his night naked on stage performing sexual acts in front of a hundred strangers, including you, but this is different. So no matter how proud you are of your god given talents, it’s considered rude to come out from your shower wet, naked, and hard. Drape a towel around yourself for god’s sake! If your new friend continues to watch the TV, just say, “shower” and point. He already knew it was his turn and now can not ignore that fact.
He will flood the bathroom while he is in there. And do not be concerned if later you go in and find wet footprints on the toilet seat. If you were smart, you will have laid out a trick toothbrush for his use. If not, he will use yours. His family back home only has one toothbrush and everyone uses it, so it’s no big deal to him. When he has stalled as long as he can, he’ll come out wearing a towel. At this point he would greatly appreciate your turning off all the lights in the room so he can slip into bed with the towel firmly wrapped around his waist. It is time for you to quit being socially sensitive. Strip the boi down, he’ll get over it.
You may want to take pictures of him to post on your Facebook page so all your friends and family can see what you bought in Thailand. Generally, Thai bar bois are not shy about camera usage, but may not want you taking pix that show both their cock and face. Go figure.
Sex will occur in bed. Thais do not understand Westeners’ fascination with using chairs and tables for sexual acts. If you try to spread him out on the table, he will balk. So don’t bother. In bed, you will probably have to take the lead unless you so repulse him that he takes over to get you off as quickly as possible. When you are done, he will want to shower again. Thai guys do not like sperm. They do not like sperm on their body. They do not like lying together cuddling in the afterglow of sex if sperm has touched their skin.
If you pre-negotiated to have your new friend spend the night, he will not want to go to sleep until around 4AM, his normal bedtime. He will want to watch TV until then, preferably a Thai language channel. Take two Excedrin to ward off the headache you will get from the screeching noises coming from your TV. Once the two of you settle down for sleep, he will wrap his body around you and you will experience one of the most incredibly delightful nights of sleep in your entire life.
When your time together is over, it’s time to pay the piper. This is usually done just before he walks out the door. Hand him the amount you’ve decided on. He may or may not count it. He may ask for money for taxi. Up to you. If your tip included some small bills, and wasn’t stingy, there is no reason to add more.
When he goes back to his bar he will tell all of his coworkers all about you. Whether you tipped well, fed him, asked him to perform disgusting acts that he refused to do, how big you belly was, how small your cock was, and the funny noises you made when you finally came. Thai bar bois love to gossip. If you go back to his bar again, within the next 10 years, he will immediately latch on to you. You are his customer. If you want a different boi he will pout and cry. Wanting variety is called being a butterfly. Thai bar bois don’t like butterflies. It’s not that he likes you, even though he told you he loves you. It’s that Thai bar bois like money. Unless you fell in love, you’d probably be better advised to hit a different bar next time. Besides, there are a few 100 bar bois in Bangkok for you to try out. Go for it.
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Dunno if you’re still watching for comments here since this post was a few weeks back, but…
Ever had any problems with falling asleep with the guy and your stuff getting stolen? It’s probably something that’d be very rare I’d think, but you hear stuff on the forums, so I’m curious about your take on it?
Hey SW, Thanks for the comment.
I’ve never had anything taken by a bar boi, asleep, awake, or too drunk to know the difference. I know from forum posts a lot of guys have a concern and take great steps to avoid being ripped off: hiding their valuables, showering first or second to allow time to lock everything away, pulling out tip money and stashing the rest . . . Seems like a lot of work to me. And adds a note of negativity to what should be a night of pleasure. I usually throw my wallet and cash on the desk, my laptop sits there, as does my camera and lenses. Never a problem.
If I picked some guy up off the street I might be a bit more careful. But offing a guy from a bar, in my opinion, adds a degree of security. If something went missing, I’d go address the probelm with the bar.
I have noticed the guys who post rip off stories on the forums usually have a negative attitude about the bois anyway. So I question their tales. Could be true though. ya know, you do get back what you put out into the universe . . .
Thanks for the advice. This is my first time in Bangkok and your guides have been invaluable in helping me explore the amazing and fascinating gay gogo bar scene here. It’s really been an eye opening experience. 🙂
Wow, I just found out this blog and I like it a lot ! It’s funny and very useful at the same time . I’d have some questions to ask you; I’m sorry if they can be dumb and silly to you….but as you are so deep into this situation and you also give a realistic view of the gay Thai scene, I’d like to ask you:
1. If I rent an house, for example in Bangkok or elsewhere, can I bring my bar boy there instead to an hotel?
2. I’ve read about the tip to be given to a thai boy….if, for example, for that night I only want to give him 500 Baath…does he quarrel and question and go on wanting much more or does he leave in silence gossiping around how much stingy I am ??
3. What is the cost of picking up a boy from the street? And what do you think about the gay massage centers…are they as much attractive as gay gogo bars? And…after all, If don’t want to spend over my money every night…are there any places , such as sauna or cruising areas…where to enjoy with less expensive fares??? Infact, doing some math, for a night spent in a gogo bars….among drinks for me and the boys…maybe the food, the hotel, the money to the bar…and the money to the boy…all the stuff costs about 3000 bath and also much more…or am I wrong?? I know that money in this case would be worth of it….but I fear that only a very big salary can permit to a customer to enjoy fully the gay night of Thai. I’m sorry if I write too much….but I really love thai and their boys and I’d like to know how to regulate myself once gotten there :). Thank you in advanca, and go on posting stuff like that, you’re great!!
Thanks David, glad you’ve been enjoying my blog.
In answer to your questions:
1. Sure you can. For some, the security of a hotel taking the boy’s ID is a plus though and you should be aware of potential problems in bringing a stranger back to your private abode.
2. Tip amounts change depending on the city so instead of addressing your stated amount I’ll hone in on what happens when you under tip. Yes all the boys at his bar will know you are cheap. Some will take your money and leave unhappy, some will ask for more, some will demand more, a few may even become angry. While tipping is up to you, how would you react if your next paycheck was half of what you expected? You can expect the same reaction when you short change your ‘employee’ of the night.
3. Hustlers off the street will usually go with you for a cheaper stated tip – but you lose the security provided by offing from a bar. Taking a street boy back to your private home may not be a good idea, though I’m sure it happens nightly without problem. Massage places can be cheaper; they usually quote a fee for the massage and boy tip up front – and the guys can be and are just as hot as they are at bars. Saunas, like Babylon are a good alternative. That hook-up may be totally free, or the guy may be a moneyboy but still wants less than one from a bar or massage place wants.
And yup, 3,000 baht is about right for a night out which would cover your drink, a boy’s drink, the off, and a tip. How that works out with your budget is always a consideration.
You’ve been very very clear and I thank you a lot ! Last question: ho do you decide the time to spend with the thai boy? Usually there is only one ” performance” or he can also stay all night long? I’ve read that most of them can’t speak English properly….Have I to mime how many sexual intercourse I would like 😀 ? Thank you again :).
David, if you keep your descriptions of what you’d like to do to their basics, most bar boys will understand you. If not, the Thai for a blow job is pronounced sa-moke – you can figure out the hand gestures for anything else!
🙂
You can either go short-time or long-time with a boy, though that is also up to him. Short-time (however quickly you can finish to a few hours) is cheaper. Long-time usually means over-night but does not necessairly mean another round in the morning – most boys want to save their ‘power’ for that night’s customer.