Forget that little bald naked man Hollywood is all atwitter about, the Best Male Body Barely In A Swimsuit award will be handed out in Seoul, South Korea this Thursday when the 9th Mr. International competition hits the stage. With 44 hunks representing almost as many countries (Guam and Puerto Rico don’t really count) the hotness factor in the Korean capital city has risen greatly this week. And that means bulges galore. Meanwhile the question on everyone’s lips is: Do they hire fluffers for male beauty pageants, and where do I apply?

Mr. International is not exactly the Miss Universe pageant; male beauty competitions just don’t get that much press. At least not outside of the Philippines. Although if you look at the hunks who vied for the title of Mr. International Spain alone, they certainly should. The Mr. International contest is the Olympics for guys with hot bodies but no discernable talent, who look good but look best when they just keep their mouth closed. And I suspect that the evening wear part of the pageant means a tuxedo instead of rhinestones ’til your heart bursts is a big disappointment to many contestants.

No problemo. The national costume part of the show allows the boys to really go for it as the Hollywood stylist hopefuls of their home countries lend a hand to create some of the gayest outfits ever seen outside of Halloween in the Castro. It’s not so much about who are you wearing as it is what in the hell are you wearing? Although as long as whatever in the hell he’s wearing is lots of flesh, no one seems to really care. It’s just a shame that the costume designers for Game of Thrones weren’t bigger Mr. International fans.

Of course, the swimsuit competition is the part of the event that everyone really waits for. That’s where they separate the men from the boys, the Asian contestants from the rest of the field, those who are packing from those who are destined to a life as a bottom, and, of course, where I’m pretty sure they determine who wins the Mister Congeniality award . . . there are time I really wish I understood the metric system.

Cultural differences aside, before the contestants reach Seoul they have to win their home country’s Mr. International contest and which area of the boys’ talents each country focuses on differs greatly. The Mr. Lebanon hopefuls were presented in powder blue tuxedos reminiscent of promwear from the 1970s. But South America seems to get what male beauty pageants are all about; maybe that’s just about knowing their men will have to go up against the boys from Brazil means they’re willing to give it their all.

And if you are a fan of hot male Asian bodies wearing numbers on their waist – and who isn’t – the contests for the crown in Myanmar and Malaysia are both available for your viewing pleasure on YouTube.
Myanmar’s YouTube entry is a bit long at just over 15 minutes – you have to wait for the 5 minute mark before contestants get their clothes off.

Malaysia on the other hand went short (no pun intended) and within the first minute the bodies of the boys make their premiere.

Speaking of rice, the rest of SE Asia will be represented at the Mr. International pageant too.

And the bar boy male beauty pageant contestant appearing on behalf of everyone’s favorite country is 19-yera-old Vittawat Srikes (aka Peter, for obvious reasons) who won the Land of Smiles contest last September. I thought there’d be more info on him somewhere on the internet, but then remembered it’s a male beauty pageant and what you see is all ya need to know.

The waiting is almost over with just the pageant itself yet to go. A wardrobe malfunction or two would be nice, but that could be done even better if whoever comes in #2 pulls a Miss Amazonas runner-up, especially since there’s no crown involved with the Mr. International pageant.