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Twinky Tuesday #19
17 Tuesday Jun 2014
Posted Twinky Tuesday
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17 Tuesday Jun 2014
Posted Twinky Tuesday
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16 Monday Jun 2014
Posted It's A Gay World
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You’d think the big news of the day woulda been that President Obama is signing an executive order forcing those companies doing business with the federal government to ban workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Ya gotta appreciate that after spending his first term in office attempting to build a consensus and work with a congress that is strictly divided along party lines, the president has decided to screw that and just sign into law those issues he feels strongly about. Which bodes well for when Hillary begins her eight year term come 2016. But the planet’s attention is focused instead on more meatier matters: We are now into Day #4 of the World Cup. And that not only means a sport that no one in the U.S. understands, but a hell of a lot of hot, fit, male flesh – much of which is frequently on display. Even those parts that polite society says should not be. Fortunately the world press has taken a page from President Obama’s playbook and said, “Screw that!”
I had not intended on providing the depth of coverage of the World Cup that I do for the Olympics, but it’s difficult to ignore all the hype. Especially when that hype includes the aforementioned hot, fit, male flesh. And it’s naked hot, fit, male flesh. Which I still might not have bothered covering, or uncovering as the case may be, but we woke up late this morning, then found something to occupy our time, and then took a much needed nap. Which prevented me finishing off my intended post for today. So if you are already sick about hearing about the World Cup, don’t blame me. Blame Phil. And his insistence on finishing me off this morning. Fortunately for my blog, the team from Croatia provided a quick post while I was otherwise occupied.
Croatia lost its opening game against Brazil. No surprise there, even for someone like me who hasn’t a clue about which teams are which. That gave the boys from Croatia a bit of downtime until their next match against Cameroon (which is part of my problem with the World Cup – when you lose you are supposed to be out of the running, not playing yet another game). And as boys with too much time on their hands tend to do, the team decided the best way to celebrate their defeat was to get naked together and take a dip to cool off their hotness. Croatia may not have won their match but did win the world’s hearts. minds, and gonads thanks to a sneaky member of the press who captured their naked frolicking on film. The team, however, is not amused.
According to Google translate, the media had not been allowed to come near Croatia’s camp at Praia do Forte “even at gunpoint” from Day #1, but one member of the paparazzi managed to hide in some bushes to capture teammates’ posteriors for posterity. The photos were published and quickly made their way around the globe thanks to social media. The team has struck back by imposing a media blackout. Until tomorrow. Or the end of the championships. Or maybe until they hit the showers after losing to Cameroon on Wednesday (but that one is just my guess).
I’m not sure if the boys grasp the idea of a media blackout, because Niko Kovac has already made a statement to the press. Although it was more about the blackout than about the nakedness. Kinda sorta. “I can not pull me by the ears and order that you continue to be at the disposal after you’ve done them and their families. How would you feel if you photographed naked? – The boys said no, and you know why. I resolve it with you,” he said. At least according to Google Translate. Not that their nudity, or one player needing to use both of his hands to hide his goods really needs translating.
So while I am still not a fan of the World Cup, since I am a fan of naked male athletes I will pay a bit more attention to what the boys are up to in Brazil over the next few weeks. And if the team from Japan decides they too need to make a splash, you just might see more World Cup coverage here after all. ‘Cuz that Atsuto Uchida is kinda cute. And I really think he needs to take one for the team.
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16 Monday Jun 2014
Posted Monday Meat
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15 Sunday Jun 2014
Posted Eye Candy
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Today is Father’s Day in the U.S. I thought an ode to the daddies of the world would be nice, but then it’s not like the holiday celebrates someone important in our lives. Like our mothers. My favorite bit of Father’s Day trivia was that back in the day before everyone had a cellphone implanted to their finger tips and long distance toll calls were a part of life, more collect calls were made on Father’s Day than any other day of the year. Which pretty well sums up what being a dad is all about. If you have a boy special back in Thailand you probably know that feeling. So Happy Father’s Day daddy.
I thought a play on the Father’s Day / Daddy thingy might make for an appropriate post for the holiday too. I’m not sure who the current most popular DILF is, it’s probably still George Clooney, but the image of a daddy in sexual terms is usually an older man. And knowing y’all, going with that theme woulda been about as popular as posting pix of vagina. And since this is Father’s Day, we’ll leave your mother out of the discussion for now. It is interesting though that the male celebrities considered to be the hottest hunks still include guys like Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp, both of whom are now fifty. Being a daddy these days is not the kiss of sexual death it once was. There are a lot of guys out there who prefer mature men. Which may say more for Tom Daley’s sex life than yours, but is still a pretty good sign.
I saw an article on the internet this morning about Ricky Martin changing the pronoun in one of the songs he was performing at a recent concert to He instead of She. Well, okay, I saw a headline proclaiming that bit of news; I didn’t read the article. So I don’t know which song its was. But if it was – now – He Bangs, that isn’t really news worthy ‘cuz that’s pretty well covers every man on the planet. Ricky has been out for what seems like forever now. So it’s about time he started crooning about the penis that he loves. It’s just a shame he doesn’t shake his bon bon with a bit more flesh exposed or he’d have made for a great pictorial post in honor of Father’s Day. You don’t usually think of Ricky as a daddy, even though technically he is one. Kinda sorta. But at 42, he qualifies by age too. And Ricky can be my daddy any day of the year. Not that masturbating over what I’d like to do to Ricky Martin helps coming up with a theme for a Father’s Day post. Although it’s not a bad way to spend Father’s Day.
But visions of Ricky splayed out naked beneath me segued into other hot Latinos I’d like to do and I realized that many of the men from south of the border hit the daddy mark regardless of age. Maybe it’s the body hair. Maybe it’s their mature looking penises. And by mature I mean large. And by south or the border, of course, I mean Brazil. Which, in case you just awoke from a coma, is where the World Cup is currently underway. So in honor of that event, and that the next Summer Olympics will be in Brazil too, this year instead of Happy Father’s Day I’m going with Feliz Dia Dos Pais! Even though technically that’s celebrated in Brazil on the second Sunday of August and not today. But then any excuse to post some pix of hot Brazilian guys is a good one. And now I have another post idea for August that I don’t have to come up with.
The last major world sporting event saw the host city grilled for not having venues and associated infrastructure like roads and hotels completed in time for the festivities. But then that was more about finding fault with Putin than with Sochi. Brazil hasn’t done much better with the World Cup. Stadiums are still not finished, there have been major protests over the amount of money spent, and the kick-off kicked off with a 168 mile long traffic jam. Many view the World Cup as a trial run for the Rio Olympics, and the head of the IOC is having a tizzy fit over how little the Brazilians have been able to accomplish for those games to date. But then those with Teutonic sensibilities have a difficult time wrapping their minds around the way things are done in warmer climes; construction schedules and completion dates are not what’s important, partying, enjoying life, and collecting your share of graft are what matters. So the world has been giving the Brazilians a pass. Besides, it’s not like they completely ignored the needs of hosting a major sporting event – prostitutes have been boning up on their foreign language skills to better serve their visiting clientele. What more could you ask?
So it’s nice for those into the sport that the World Cup is running for Father’s Day. Although speaking of daddies, Tim Duncan and his band of old farts will be handing LeBron and the Heat their heads on a platter today in the NBA finals too. It’s also nice for both fans of the Olympics and fans of the men of Brazil that Rio will be hosting the 2016 Summer Games. And that prostitution is legal in Brazil. And yeah, the Olympics are still two years away, but it’s nice for me that I already found an excuse to post pix of some Brazilian hotties. Which I’m sure I’ll find more reasons to do so again even before I begin my Olympic coverage hype. That makes it a happy Father’s Day for me. Even if I didn’t get to do Ricky Martin. But there’s always next year. Or August 10th. ‘Cuz I’d do Ricky in honor of Brazil’s Dia Dos Pais too.
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15 Sunday Jun 2014
Posted Selfies Sunday
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14 Saturday Jun 2014
Posted End of the Week
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If you’ve mastered navigating through the grasping hands of the barkers on Soi Twilight, you may want to try your hand at The Escape Hunt Experience the next time you’re in Bangkok. Or just buy a pair of handcuffs and play your own version with your boy du jour back in your hotel room.
A Malaysian man unsatisfied with the size of things paid out $167 for a “penis enlarger” on the internet that not unsurprisingly came with a note to not use in direct sunlight.
Because even in the U.S. you can’t escape the hype: The Definitive Ranking of the Best Bulges in This World Cup. So now at least I know who to cheer for.
‘So when are you going to settle down and find that special girl?’ is a not uncommon question gay men receive from the totally oblivious, including this mom in a cute Nandos chicken commercial out of Australia.
Jamie Dornan of soon to be 50 Shades of Grey fame recently posed nude for Interview magazine. Here are the NSFW shots that didn’t get published.
A local monk’s magic penis is rubbing some locals the wrong way in Ratchaburi province. But then you can never please size queens.
This blogger responsible for this week’s NSFW Tumblr link, Asian Pits, says he likes Asian boys. And he likes armpits too. Fortunately he is not obsessive about the latter, but is about the former.
Since Korea always ranks last in world penis size surveys it’s not surprising the Lotte Shopping Center in Busan removed a more than life-like sculpture of Spider Man that had been ‘erected’ over a year ago. Huh. I don’t think that was his spidey-sense tingling.
Is gay voice a real thing? See, there is such a thing as a stupid question. Here are Five People Saying The Same Words: Can You Guess The Gays? And now you can quit asking bar boys if they are gay or not.
The rumors that the junta wants to shut down Facebook in Thailand has a lot of people concerned. These 80 Deeply Personal Things That Facebook Knows About You Right Now should concern you even more.
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13 Friday Jun 2014
Posted The Boys In The Bar
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For a small town boy Thailand was a huge country. Having barely made it past the boundaries of his village in the past, by this point in his trip Lek qualified as a world traveler. He was excited, but a bit nervous too. And hungry. Although he was worried if he tried to eat something it might not stay down. He’d managed to sleep a bit, hours ago, but as the train approached Bangkok his excitement grew and he found it difficult to sit still.
Two days ago, he’d finally heard from his sister Noi, giving him the nod to move to Bangkok and stay with her and her husband So. As long as he got a job and contributed toward household expenses. Noi had mentioned that twice. But that was Noi. And Lek did plan on finding work quickly. He already had his dream job picked out. And figured the first place he applied to would do the trick. So, no problem. Provided he could find Noi at the train station. They’d just pulled in to Hua Lamphong and the place looked humongous. Big enough to fit his entire village in.
Lek grabbed his bag and followed the flow of passengers off the train, then quickened his pace to catch up to the crowd worried that he would otherwise get lost in the expanse of trains, tracks, and milling crowds busily arriving and departing. Stepping inside Hua Lamphong he was confused for a moment, wondering where he should go. Above, a cavernous jigsaw puzzle of iron beams soared upwards, blanketing the heavens . It made him dizzy. Like when he’d stretch out on the ground and stare up into the sky back home; the heavens would keep growing in breadth and depth the more he stared while he grew smaller and smaller until he was lost in its expanse. Succumbing to an urge, Lek slowly began turning in circles, his eyes fixed on the capacious building’s heights, his rotation quickening with the smile it plastered on his face until he felt himself bump into the broad chest of . . . the most beautiful man he’d ever seen.
“Whoa little brother,” the god brought to life spoke. “You need to be careful taking off like that, you never know where you’ll land,” he said with a sly wink. All Lek could do was stare, his mouth hanging open, thrilled, awed, and excited that this beautiful creature was actually talking to him. Maybe even flirting with him.
“Sorry,” Lek mumbled, finally remembering his manners. And how to speak. Then, embarrassed that that was the best he could come up with added an unnecessary excuse. ” I’m waiting for someone.”
Arrgh! How lame! But the god seemed not to notice. “For someone?” he teased. ” I’m a someone. How do you know you’re not waiting for me?”
I’ve been waiting for you my entire life, Lek thought. Then hoped he hadn’t said that out loud. Wishing he’d gone with something witty instead, before he could come up with a good rejoinder his mouth took over,”My family is supposed to be meeting me.”
“I know little brother,” Wit laughed, ending the charade. “I’m Wit, So’s friend. He asked me to meet you. And since So is my brother that makes you my little brother. Sawadee kap! Welcome to Krung Thep!”
While his mind contemplated if that would still count as incest, Lek greeted his newest family member with a deep wai. And then felt guilty at his reaction to Wit’s flat stomach and prodigious bulge, two glorious sights that his eyes could not help but take in. Fortunately the god didn’t seem to notice, and picked up Lek’s bag instead before heading off towards the exit.
Outside the station the world seemed to explode. The crowd was as massive as inside, but now loosened, with people moving everywhere like marbles rolling in all directions. The morning sun snuck in low over the city, briefly turning the gray welter of buildings a pale shade of rose. Its rays hit, burnishing the windows of ten thousand buildings in a temporary sparkle, as if washing the city new in heat and light. In front of the station a steady parade of cars caromed down the road as though hurled by a belligerent god. Trying to take it all in Lek almost tripped over a blissed out dude with long hair and Star Trek eyes sitting on a blanket spread across the cement, a backpacker jet-lagged from time travel with a pharmacological smile buzzing across his face. He felt a hand grab his shoulder, looked up into Wit’s eyes, and then was pulled into the backseat of a taxi where Wit immediately hogged the blast of cold air gushing out of the air conditioner.
“So crouching tiger, you come to Bangkok to show the girls your hidden dragon?”
Oh geeze, Lek thought. Face of a dear, heart of a tiger. And corny too. But there was no denying how attractive this wolf in sheep’s clothing was. If only he’d keep his mouth shut. “Where’s Noi?” he asked, desperately trying to change the subject.
“What, you think your arrival in Krung Thep is worthy of declaring a national holiday? Noi is at work where she’s supposed to be.”
“What about So? Noi said she or So would meet me.”
“So? Uh, So caught a long shift at his job and is working too.” That morning So had called in a panic. He’d booked a customer the night before for what was supposed to be a short-time off that had extended itself into a long-time one. That was the problem with So. He never seemed to be able to tell a customer no. Not that Lek needed to know what So was up to. Yet. Nor did Wit feel obligated to explain what he and So did for a living. Fortunately, Lek was captivated by the city’s sights, immersed in the display of urban life on display through the taxi’s windows as it slowly plodded through the traffic. Wit settled back into his seat, nodding off to catch up on the sleep he’d missed from his own booking the night before. He smiled at the memory of the farang he’d spent part of the night with, a first-time visitor to Thailand who’d already booked Wit for a second go.
Pulling up in front of their building, Wit paid the taxi driver, glad he was spending So’s money and not his own. He ushered Lek up the flight of stairs and into their home, dropped Lek’s bag on the floor and nodded towards the couch. “That’s you,” he said. “So and Noi are in there,” he added, his chin pointing towards a small closet-like space off the main room. Pulling off his shirt Wit plopped himself down, stretching out across what he’d just identified as Lek’s sleeping space. The deafening silence and lack of movement caused one of his eyes to pop back open and he noticed Lek’s face turning a delightful shade of red. “Don’t worry, I work nights,” he laughed. “You’ll sleep while I’m at work, it’ll all work out.”
Relieved, and a bit disappointed too, Lek wandered around the small apartment, checking out his new home. He moved out onto a small balcony with a view of the neighboring building just an arm’s length away. By the time he walked back inside, Wit was sound asleep. Lek was mesmerized, watching Wit’s chest slowly rise and fall, the light sprinkling of hair trailing downwards to hide itself in his jeans glistened in a small pool of sunlight sneaking in through the balcony doors. Lek sighed. Home had never been like this before. He imagined himself stretched out on top of Wit, decided that may not be the best way to start off his new life, and leaned back against the wall instead, sliding down into a sitting position where his day’s journey finally caught up with him.
Hours later when Lek awoke his panic set in anew; the couch was empty, Wit was gone. But a noise from the other room quickly dissolved itself into a vision of his sister Noi, who appeared with a wide, warm smile on her face. They hugged, happy to be reunited and Noi asked about his trip, ignoring his tale to quickly segue into her plan for his employment. So much for a holiday, he thought as she blabbered on. Something about the food cart she worked and increasing business by Lek selling her barbeque to drivers stuck in Bangkok’s parking lot-like traffic. That wasn’t what Lek had in mind for his new career. But he didn’t want to start an argument having just arrived so he let her chatter fill the room on its own accord. Luckily, before he was forced to respond So came home, quickly followed by the reappearance of Wit, who was literally bouncing with excitement.
“Get dressed little brother!” Wit exclaimed. “So is taking us out for dinner to celebrate your arrival!” The sound of Noi’s disapproving tsk at the unnecessary expenditure did little to dampen Wit’s excitement. And So’s beaming face was encouraging too. Lek stood looking from one of his new roommates to the other, then grabbed his bag, heading into the other room to dress for the night having made his decision. The swat on his butt that Wit landed as he passed by gave him a small thrill. And a much needed dose of encouragement.
Lek was nervous as he carefully laid out his clothes, not sure if his timing was right. His hands trembled as he undressed himself. But he was in Bangkok. And was ready to begin his new life. This, he thought, was why he’d come. He just hoped that Noi and So would understand. And Wit . . . Lek giggled, full of nervous energy thinking of how Wit might respond. Which for now was a constant barrage of instructions floating in from the other room, urging him to hurry because Wit was starving.
Wanting to get it right, Lek eyeballed the line of clothing hanging in the room. He borrowed a piece, tried it on, then discarded it in favor for another before returning to his own array of clothes and slipping them on. Using the mirror hanging on the cinder block wall to make a few final adjustments to his face, Lek took a deep breath and stepped back out to where his family waited.
To complete silence. Total and utter silence. A void of noise and emotion. A black hole of quietness, punctured only by the sound of Lek’s rapidly beating heart and offset by three shocked faces, a deepening sense of doom that was finally broken by Wit’s braying laughter. “Oh no! Little brother is a little sister!”
Lek wanted to curl up and die. Or at least run away. But before he could escape, Noi – ever the realist – joined in. “Is that my favorite bra?”
Wit laughed even harder, holding his stomach and curling up in a ball on the floor where he totally lost it. Noi did not think it was funny. “He’s wearing my best bra!” she complained to So, who so far hadn’t made a sound. “My tits don’t hang right, one is bigger than the other and causes a separation problem,” she angrily explained. “That’s my only bra that fits right!”
Barely able to get the words out through his laughter, Wit joined back in. “One of my balls is bigger than the other and I don’t have a favorite pair of underwear!”
“That’s because you can’t keep your underwear on!” scowled Noi, the truth of which caused Wit to dissolve back into a blubbering ball of giggles.
So, noticing the crestfallen look on Lek’s face finally spoke up. “You look beautiful Lek,” he said. And she did. Her slender build and boyish face transformed her into a beguiling looking young woman. Noi, he thought, might be just a bit jealous. Katoeys were a fact of life in Thailand, especially in Bangkok, and So had become used to the ladyboys working at his bar. He just hadn’t expected Lek to be one. Or in this case, trying to be one.
“Noi, help your brother, um sister, with her make-up,” he told his wife. “Her inexperience is showing,” he added nodding towards Lek’s mascara that made her look like a slow loris. Noi grabbed Lek’s hand, pulling her back into the room with a mirror while grumbling that Lek had better not start stealing her lipstick and had better find a job quickly so she could afford her own undergarments. Lek threw So a grateful smile over her shoulder. And then caught a wink from Wit that caused her heart to flutter.
It hadn’t been the response Lek had hoped for, but all things considered it looked like things would turn out all right. She decided her decision to separate herself from village life had been a good one. Bangkok was where she belonged. Lek was finally free to be who he was. And that wink from Wit, Lek thought, held a lot of promise too.
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13 Friday Jun 2014
Posted Aloha Friday
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