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Sure it was only a photo on an iPhone. But still, the ladyboy looked more boy than lady. Back home, she’d have transcended the drag queen moniker. But in Bangkok, the average ladyboy is a vision of fabulousness. They often fool unsuspecting tourists. And by that standard, she was sorely lacking. But then when you make your living as one of the muscle studs at Tawan Bar, pulling off the glamour of a Thai ladyboy is no mean feat.
I’d met Kim on a previous visit to Tawan Bar, Bangkok’s famous muscle palace. About a year earlier, I’d visited the bar with my friend Noom. Kim was one of the bar boys he trained. A young, slightly chubby Thai – who had for some reason decided he looked best as a blonde – Kim had a gorgeous smile and an ass just as spectacular and inviting. But I was with Noom. And while Kim was cute, he still had a bit of poundage he needed to rid himself of before he really qualified as a muscle hunk.
My more recent visit was later the same year and I’d headed to Tawan at the beginning of my trip, sans Noom. Kim had lost the blonde look as well as most of the excess weight. I was glad to see that his ass had not suffered during the process. I did not recognize him at first, but he did me and quickly planted his most outstanding feature next to mine. It always amazes me how Thai bar boys can remember a customer, even one they haven’t gone with, years later. But it’s a good trick of the trade, and a good excuse to hit a patron up for a bit of business.
Previous friendship established, and after asking, “Where Noom?’ to ensure the coast was clear, Kim got down to business. But he could not rely on the standard set of bar boy questions having already established my bona fides, and his English was not good enough to start up some other idle chitchat. Massaging my leg and then grabbing my hand to run it up his leg and onto his crotch seemed his best bet. Yes, actions do speak louder than words. Prior to meeting Noom, that would have been enough to close the sale for me, but knowing Noom would soon find out I’d offed Kim left me a bit concerned about the whole thing.
Kim sensed my reluctance. I’m not sure why he decided his iPhone photo would be a good ploy, but he pulled it out and showed me anyway. Oh, goody. A ladyboy. Not my particular brand of excitement. But I’m not always rude so I made an appreciative grunt and handed the phone back to Kim. He quickly figured out I didn’t get it, and cleared up the confusion by proudly exclaiming, “Me!” while thumbing his chest.
Tawan occasionally has a ladyboy act come in for their nightly show. And, when they decide a fucking act is needed, finds a fem guy to bottom though he is never part of their regular stable either. The guys show off their hard cocks regularly, and none seem to mind sucking or being sucked on stage. Most nights the last shows ends in a jack-off contest (featuring the boys, not the customers). But the guys at Tawan have a reputation of all being tops. And gay for pay. Scoring a bottom at Tawan is not the norm. And when you do, the boy makes sure you know he doesn’t want his barmates to know about it. The idea of one of the muscle studs having a ladyboy side to him was unusual to say the least.
I’ve spent enough time in Bangkok’s gay gogo bar world to have learned how to best communicate with guys who speak little English. I’ve also spent enough time in Bangkok’s gay gogo bar world to know all bar boys are a bit vain and love a compliment. I’ve never complimented a boy on how good he looks as a woman before, but evidently pulled it off well enough by the look of the smile on Kim’s face. And then he went for the close. “You like?”
Huh. Well, not really. Kim was cute. His newly developed body ripe. And then there was his ass. The idea of him dressed in drag didn’t do a thing for me. But the idea that he’d take on the bottom role was intriguing. However, the assumption that all ladyboys bottom is a faulty one. Most will tell you, once you get to know them, that the majority of their customers are straight and want to be fucked by a ladyboy. I’ll never understand breeders.
Still not sold, I used short words and descriptive hand gestures to ask Kim if he was willing to bottom. His reply was a big smile and an often heard – and as often false – bar boy claim, “Shure!”
Yeah. Right. Kim saw my doubt and clarified his position on positions with an emphatic nod. Double huh.
Every stud in a gogo bar looks like a hunk sitting next you in nothing but a small pair of underwear. When they change into their street clothes, sometimes your little stud turns into a little fem. With Kim’s ladyboy photo in mind, I was concerned if I did off him he’d show up dressed in drag. Thinking my disappointment would be for the opposite reason he apologized. Pointing at his cell phone as reference he said with much sorrow, “I not have clothe wit me.”
Ah, gee. What a shame. Noom was still a concern though. But we’d recently come to an agreement that it was okay for me to play (though I was supposed to tell him about it first). Minor details, what the hell, and I was sure if I’d stress the ladyboy part of Kim, Noom would not feel in the least bit threatened. Self-serving justifications I’m sure, but they were enough to calm my concerns and free me to give Kim a try. He was thrilled with the off, and I was thrilled when he showed back up in his street clothes that he looked like a guy. Off to my hotel we headed.
In my room, Kim was a bit shy and giggled a lot. But he had no problem in getting right down to business. I don’t know if with his ladyboy side he considered himself to be gay, but he responded well to kissing and by the time I’d taken all of his clothes off was hard as a rock. The little noises he made in response to a bit of ass play boded well too.
I love showering with a bar boy. Or playing in the shower with a bar boy to be more precise. Most are not as fond of the shared shower thingy and prefer to clean up in private. Kim made his preference clear when I swatted his ass and told him to go take a shower; he grabbed my hand to pull me along. I also like a bit more of a participatory indulgence than the traditional muscle worship thingy, but have to admit that I was totally satisfied with soaping Kim’s taught body up, working up a rich, sudsy lather as my hands explored every inch of his body. And then he returned the favor. Using his mouth.
Beyond clean, we used up the hotel’s supply of hot water and then he motioned me out so he could finish cleaning himself in private. That’s always a good sign when you are planning on topping a bar boy. When he finished, he walked back into the room naked and hard, not displaying any of the towel-wrapped modesty that many bar boys do. Hopping onto the bed, he showed no modesty either, quickly adopting a position that left no confusion over what he had in mind.
Triple huh. A muscle stud with the heart of a ladyboy and the habits of a sex pig. All those good karma points I’d been racking up over the year were finally paying off. I took my time with Kim; there was nothing I suggested that he balked at. And I was glad a sturdy table was part of the room’s furnishings. I think he had as good of a time as I did, he stayed rock hard throughout, and wasn’t shy about communicating what he wanted either. He blew a massive load with me deep inside of him, and then after cleaning up and showering together again, settled into my arms, wrapping his body around mine for a night’s sleep.
The next morning there was no question about whether or not we would reprise the activities of the night before. He woke me with his hand firmly around my cock, aiming it where he wanted it the most. And – damn kids – he exploded with just as much gusto as he had the night before. We cleaned up and headed down for a late breakfast before he went home. I made a mental note that I needed to off Kim again, and hoped I’d be as lucky to catch him in his non-ladyboy outfit the next time.
That night I hooked up with my friend Noom, and immediately fessed up to my night with Kim. Before I got to the ladyboy justification, Noom laughed, “He ladyboy!”
I laughed too. And then he gave me a look that clearly said, “Don’t even think about it!”
I have not been back and have not had the chance to give Kim another try. Yet. But if you are one of those who swear the studs at Tawan are all duds in bed, that they won’t do anything and never bottom; think again. There’s at least one guy working there just as built and masculine looking as the others, who is a ladyboy – and a willing bottom – at heart.
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bebot q gomez said:
having “discovered” your blog accidentlly while surfing thanking you would be the next agenda. I am a 60 year old gay man from Manila, Philippines and have been to Bangkok and Tawan Bar everytime I visit the Kingdom. Having gained new knowledge tru your blog I now see the men/bois at tawan in a new light and my visits most rewarding. Thanks to you! now I am an avid reader of your blog daily. wishing you’d b posting more asian muscular eye candies than the usual. Thank You/
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks bebot, and thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. One of my New Year resolutions ( and probably the only one I’ll stick to) is gonna be to hunt down more beefy nude asian pix for use on my blog. So stay tuned!
bebot q gomez said:
Thank you! checking on your blog has become a daily habit I have been looking forward to every morning. Since my “discovery” I have been addicted to it. Just wanted you to know that I have read all, and I mean ALL, your posts since Feb 2011. Am going to BKK by March 2012 for another short 5-day holiday. Looking forward to seeing more Thai musclmen as your eye candies…lots of love!
Bangkokbois said:
Geeze, even I haven’t read my entire blog bebot!
🙂
Thanks. Seriously. And I’m sure you’ll have a grand time on your next trip in March.
Michael Marsh said:
My experience in soi Twilight was not pleasant and i totally disagree with you in the respect that you niavely think these Thai men are misunderstood. These so called human beings are nothing but filthy prostitutes. The monkey’s that work in Hot Male Bar are professional con men and thiefs. I met a guy in Hot male Bar and before i knew it he was filling me up with alcohol and conversation. After drinking with this parasite who called himself Joe i decided to pay his bar and take him back to my HOME in Bangkok. This filthy disgraceful Thai man helped himself to my wallet and emptied the contents including 20,000baht, mastercard, amex, i phone, camera, and video camera. I went back to Hot male Bar the next day and confronted this little thief and recieved a beer bottle to the back of my head as repayment and kicked for my effort for trying to get my stuff back.
You should not mislead people to think that these scum of the earth are innocent and trying to make a honest living. For starters there is nothing honest in selling your body for money. This kind of filth gives Thailand a bad name and i pray everyday that Joe will come to harm. I hate being so low in self esteem to go to that disgraceful bar in the first place. If anybody reads this i need for you to know stay home and jerk off. Do not let these prostitutes bring your life to harm. There is no justice in Bangkok and the so called police force is more of a joke than the scum that works in Hot male Bar.
I hope that tourist looking for a holiday in Bangkok think again. Bangkok is hot, dirty and the workers in the sex trade are the lowest form of human beings.
Bangkokbois said:
First, let me thank you for your comment. I don’t agree with your over-all opinion of Bangkok’s gay gogo bar industry, but that does not make what you have to say any less valid. I also have a problem with your story, it is so far removed from my own experiences I have a difficult time in believing it. But, I’m going to take your claims at face value (for now) recognizing if nothing else you do provide a useful counterbalance to the tales and tips provided by my blog. Your story, assuming it is a true one, highlights potential dangers, or at least concerns, that visitors to that world – especially those new to the bar scene – should be aware of. It would be easy for me to dismiss your comment, or to offer a quick sarcastic reply. I’m not going to do that. As obviously emotional on the subject as you are, and as deeply held as your opinion seems to be, suggests that I should take what you have to say seriously; my reply should be as heartfelt as your comment was.
The crux of your complaint with the industry stems from an incident wherein you offed a guy from a bar on Soi Twilight, took him to your home, and he stole cash, credit cards, and electronics. Your response was to return to the bar the next night and confront the boy. Instead of getting your valuables back you were physically assaulted.
I’ve read for years about customers being the victims of theft when they brought a bar boy back to their room or home. I’ve offed over a hundred guys and have never has so much as a satang stolen. I would assume that it would be much more risky to bring a free-lancer home with you than a boy working from one of the bars on Twilight. But that’s not your claim. So let’s deal with the theft first.
The gay message boards dealing with Thailand and its commercial sex industry – as well as those on the straight boards – are filled with advice from the cautious about locking your valuables away and keeping an eye on your wallet. Some claim its best to have the boy shower first, you can hide everything while he is busy in the bathroom. Others feel it’s better to do it the other way around. Whichever you prefer, the need to secure your valuables is a given. Doing so greatly lowers the opportunity for theft. Some even go so far as to only use one of the hotels that offer short-time lodging; they do not even want to take a chance of bringing a boy back to their room. The BBB Inn and Suriwong Hotel are both set up for this trade; all the boys know where the hotels are that serve as a flop house.
Visitors may also be further protected by choosing one of the many hotels that require the ‘guest’ of a guest leave his ID at the front desk. Many of these, such as Tarntawan check with the registered guest to make sure everything is okay before releasing the boy’s ID at the end of their engagement.
I’ve always held that one of the reasons to use a bar to procure your entertainment from is that the bar will protect you from theft, or worse. All of the bars on Soi Twilight rely on repeat business, and word-of-mouth should theft be a problem will kill off that industry quickly. The police, who are paid to turn a blind eye to prostitution, would have a major problem on their hands if theft from customers was the norm. Whatever the short-time gain may be to a bar boy by stealing from you, the long-term damage, and hassle, faced by the owners and managers of the bars would not make it acceptable in their world. Even as much as Thais live for the day, they do understand the up-side of running clean environments. But you claim your experience was different. Assuming you did get ripped off by a bar boy from one of the clubs, let’s look at what you could do about it.
Going to the police would be an obvious first step to a newbie. Those more familiar with the police in Thailand may consider their involvement as a last resort. You went back to the bar and confronted the thief. Sorry, but that was not a good idea and it held little chance of successfully getting your valuables back. Since you claim you took the boy to your ‘home’ I assume you have some sort of long-term accommodation in Bangkok and some form of long-term relationship with Bangkok. How you could possibly think confrontation would ever be a successful technique for righting a wrong is beyond me. That you got a beating when you decided to confront ‘the little thief’ does not surprise me in the least.
If a bar boy stole from me I too would return to the bar but instead would ask, politely, to speak with the manager. Rather than a confrontational, “Your boy stole from me! I want my stuff back!” I would calmly and respectfully try something like, “I offed one of your boys last night and some of my belongings have gone missing. Could you ask him if he knows what happened to them?”
The manger will know exactly what happened. But you have not accused him, his bar, and his employee of being thieves. He will talk with the boy – more likely he’ll demand the boy return your goods to the bar. And then you’ll get your belongings as though it was all just a big misunderstanding.
A direct confrontation may be what you are used to in the west, but this is Thailand. You are a visitor in their country. Whether you like it or not, if you want to be successful you need to deal with life on their terms. Avoiding confrontation and saving face matter the most to Thais. If you respect that, and deal with it, chances are you’ll be treated fairly. When you scream, “Thief!” at a boy in front of his bar, his boss, friends, and customers – even if he is guilty – his sole option is to take you on. And his buddies will probably join in.
If your respectful and rational discussion with the manager does not work, then go to the police. And be just as polite and non-accusatory. Yes, the police are corrupt. Yes, the police will scam visitors when they can get away with it. But they also really do enforce laws and assist visitors who have a problem. If nothing else the police too will avoid the ‘problem’ by going to the bar and having the manager retrieve your goods for you. And once again, it will have been just a big misunderstanding.
It just so happens that I am familiar with the bar in your story, Hot Male, and with its manager. The bar is not a rip-off joint that would allow its employees to steal cash and valuable from customers. The manager would be mortified to find out one of his boys did so. And would have taken care of the matter for you had you approached him in the proper manner.
Everyone tends to portray themselves as the hero, or victim, in the tales the tell. Still, your argument and warning that all bar boys are thieves, etc. does not strengthen your argument by doing so. Let’s address the issue of responsibility. Or perhaps negligence is a better term. You decided to go to a gogo bar. You imply that you live in Bangkok so exactly what is on offer at these bars could not have been a big surprise to you. Hot Male’s barkers are not aggressive, they did not pull you into the bar. In fact, you had to walk up a steep, lengthy flight of stairs to get into the bar.
You decided to have a conversation with one of the boys, and you decided to buy both of you drinks. And then you decided to off the boy and take him home with you. Your statement ‘he was filling me up with alcohol and conversation” is a bit one-sided and fails to take into account that if you had not agreed to it the boy would not have been conversing with you, and you – and you alone – could decide whether drinks would be bought and consumed. You could have sent the boy away and not have talked with him, you could have not bought him drinks, you could have not decided to off him, and you could have not decided to take him to your home.
You were in control of this part of your evening. Not the boy. Perhaps, afterwards you’ve decided that you should not have done these things. That does not alter the fact that you did. At no time were you forced to do so. Man up and take responsibility for your own actions. You were not a victim of prostitution, you were a willing participant.
Even as angry as you appear to be, calling a group of people ‘monkey’s (sic) suggests an attitude that almost guarantees that you will be mistreated. As for the ‘filthy prostitutes’ “and that there is “nothing honest about selling your body for money,” and that those who do are “the lowest form of human beings” . . . again, while I’d like to take your obvious anger into account I can’t but help to wonder what’s wrong with your moral compass that places all the blame on them and yet allows you – the person who decided to go buy a whore for the night – to remain the fine, moral, and upstanding man you consider yourself to be.
Prostitution is different in Thailand than it is in the west. Both in practice and in how the trade is viewed by society. Yes, there are bad bar boys. And good ones too. Just as there are bad people who work at McDonalds, and good ones too. To many of the guys working on Soi Twilight it is a job, a business, no more and no less than any other. If prostitution offends your sensibilities, there is no reason for you to be on Soi Twilight, no one is forcing you to make that part of the country a part of your experience.
Perhaps it was in fact your ‘low self esteem’ that sent you off to Twilight in search of a prostitute. But then that’s not really a healthy attitude to start with. Many customers do so with no self-esteem issues. It’s a night out, a fun place to visit while on a holiday. But then your attitude does impact the experience you’ll have. So I’ll give you that one. And note that it sounds like you got exactly what you paid for. And wanted.
If you truly “pray everyday that Joe will come to harm” I feel sorry for you. You are devoting a lot of your time to negativity and that is just plain unhealthy. Seriously, you should consider seeking professional advice to help you rid yourself of these feelings. As negative, stressful, and disturbing as this incident may have been to you, allowing it to continue to disturb you to this degree is not good. If nothing else, you need to get over it, consider it a lesson in life, and move on.
Sorry Michael, but I am not naive. Nor do I mislead readers about the innocence, motivation, or honesty of bar boys, and Bangkok’s commercial sex trade in general. I often point out the greed and avarice involved in the industry. I provide warnings about the known scams and possible problems a newbie may have in negotiating that world. Though I often use cynicism and sarcasm to do so. While I strongly disagree with the general tone of your comment, I’m publishing it to give both sides of the coin an airing, while also using it to highlight problems a visitor may experience in Bangkok and its gogo bars.
I think both your attitude and actions were largely responsible for the trouble you had, if in fact your story is true. Regardless, condemning an entire industry – especially in light of the thousands of guys who have had nothing but good experiences – is just as wrong as completely ignoring that problems can and do exist. So at least for that I thank you for taking the time to express your thoughts.
Fred Harvey said:
An absolutely outstanding precis of the matter. Your comments and opinions are intelligent and rational and a significant learning experience for those who have an open mind to the reality of Thailand.
While reading the correspondent’s comments I flashed upon a very angry and guilt ridden Mormon or Evangelical Christian. These closet cases should simply stay the hell out of Thailand if they are coming here with that kind of attitude. I would guess that the correspondent has unloaded a lot of anger through writing to you and if he takes your advice to heart, he can reprise the experience with a happy ending.
After ten years here I can count zero the number of times a boy has stolen from me. However, I treat them with friendliness, dignity and courtesy. Treating them like whores is unseemly, unproductive and unnecessary.
If he wants to date whores, then he should make contact with a banker, a politician or a clergyman.
Bangkokbois said:
I too can count the number of times a bar boy has ripped me off.
0.
I’d forgotten about that comment. And I was so diplomatic in my response!
🙂
Andy said:
Hi Bangkokbois
Nice story of tawan I been there couple of times and asking for Kim but apparently there are 4 Kims working there. does he go by another name than Kim a nickname?
is he still working there ? I would like to meet this guy.
/A
Bangkokbois said:
Last time I saw him he was a blonde – that should make him easy to spot!
Gman said:
Oh my God (no I’m not religous) LOL But you are so damn funny & entertaining & informative! “A Triple” as you’d say! The above so far is my favorite and I want to meet “Kim” now! 😛 “A muscle stud with the heart of a ladyboy and the habits of a sex pig.” WOW my perfect match! 😛
I’ve lived in Phuket for 3 years but I’ve learned & understand more tonight (reading thru your blog) then my entire time living in Thailand. LOL Thanks!
I just wish that I would have found this info when I was still a virgin.. LOL I’m not old (I came here mid 40’s) and all Thai have the idea I’m rich (just lucky to be mobile). I’m not big on bar boys (sort of a lie.. I love many of them!) But I’m a bit shy & had no idea what I was getting myself into when I moved to Thailand! My Mom’s only comment was “be careful” and “I said why?” LOL OK, now after going thru quite of bit of Baht and a few boys/couple of BF’s.. I now get it. LOL But I must admit.. I did have a lot of fun learning Thai too. LOL 😛
My new love is a sexy bar boy (well, he was a waiter when we met) but claims he was pushed into working at a bar. “I think he just likes the easy job/money”.. I offered to hire him but he says he can make his own money… got me? He told me before that he worked at hotels & bars in BKK.. I have no problem with that and actually after reading here.. I have much more of an understanding of my Thai Guy(s).
I tell the guys.. I want to work as a bar boy.. some rich Asians can pay me for having fun. The look “Priceless” and then “YOU’RE NOT A THAI”.. just kills me! You can’t do massage or work as bar boy if you’re white. *I don’t think I could do it but it’s a fun thought. LOL
I don’t normally read this much online but Thanks again one of the most entertaining nights that I’ve spent in Thailand. LOL
*My stomach is literally sore from laughing..
Gman
Bangkokbois said:
LOL
“You Not Thai!”
I can so picture that!
Thanks for the laugh Gman, and for taking the time to leave a comment. Glad to hear my blog has helped, though there certainly could be worse ways to learn about Thai bar boys than living in Phuket!