One of the joys of aging is the right to embrace the old fart within you. Generally, that’s something I strive to not do. Known traits common among the elderly are not exactly what you’d call endearing ones. But allowing the old curmudgeon within free reign does come in handy when there’s something you don’t want to do. Age is a convenient excuse, an easy card to play, an advanced version of ‘It’s Not My Fault’ that places the blame squarely on something beyond your control. But like with all Get Out Of Jail cards when – and how – you play it matters. Use the ‘I’m Too Old’ card among a group of senior citizens and whatever the discussion was it will quickly deteriorate into a confab about the long list of medications each member of the group takes daily. Which is the elderly version of playing Keeping Up With The Joneses. And when you are like me and the best you can do is admit to the occasional use of a SPF50 sunscreen, you lose. Your popularity wanes. And it sucks when you can’t be one of the in-crowd even among a group of people for whom purchasing Depends has become a way of life.

Nonetheless, I do employ the age excuse to justify some facets of my life that tend to buck the trend. Like not being on Facebook. I don’t have anything against Facebook, nor against those who spend their lives there. I even understand the allure of social media in general and why it has supplanted face-to-face human interaction among the youth. I’d prefer keeping an arm’s length away from most of today’s youth myself. Facebook and its kind is touted as an advanced technological platform for interacting with others, an advancement in social interaction that allows you to easily reach out and touch someone. Or anyone. I think it works better as a way to avoid ever having to deal with those people in person myself. Or, as an old fart, I can play the age card and just ignore them. In real life. I don’t need Facebook’s help to neglect people I’m not interested in knowing. I can ‘unfriend’ you on my own.

The original thought behind Facebook was an on-line version of a similar compendium used at colleges that quickly separated the wheat from the chaff. It was intended as an online meeting place for the cool kids, a place where your popularity was on display for all to see. Once given to the masses, however, the unpopular kids took over. And before you knew it, even the unpopular kids’ parents were using Facebook. Even some of their grandparents signed up. And then the only way you could tell if someone was worthy of your time and attention was by checking how many other users had ‘Friended’ them. Because quantity over quality always counts. At least among the lonely and the desperate. Who quickly devised devious measures to up their Friend count.

If You Friend Me Then I’ll Friend you extortion requests became a popular method for proving your worth to the world. Sending out mass Friend requests to anyone and everyone was, and still is, the mark of the truly hopeless. As though anyone worth knowing would acknowledge your flimsy attempt at being a whole person. eBay eventually had to prohibit people from auctioning off their Friend-ship. Though there are still websites where you can buy Friends, with discounts offered on the more Friends you purchase. Today your popularity isn’t measured by how cool you are perceived to be, but rather on how many on-line friends you can amass, and how often someone ‘Likes’ something you posted.

Many of the regular punters on the Gay Thailand message boards bemoan the eventual collapse of their version of Gay Thailand – meaning the gogo bars – thanks to social media. But I think Facebook is training the johns of tomorrow. It’s a small step from buying Friends on Facebook to buying a friend for the night from Dream Boy, a small step from the pride you get when someone ‘Likes’ you to hearing a barboy tell you he lies you. And thanks to two students in Thailand, that small step is already a baby step.

Earlier today, two students caused a public outcry after they urged netizens to ‘like’ their video in exchange for a blow job. The samoking pair are trying to put the face back in Facebook. Both students, clad in uniforms, said that the sexual activity would be given only if they received a huge amount of ‘likes.’ Unfortunately, the oral sex promised was to be given by the female half of the duo, so rather than going viral the response was negative. Comments posted came fast and furious; no one Liked their offer, instead threats of reporting the pair to the police and railing against their poor upbringing were common. According to the MThai website, the video was quickly deleted after its release.

Huh. Offering to give a bit of face to increase your on-line popularity seems to me to be a natural progression of the Facebook phenomenon. It even pulls back social media into the real world experience – those known to give head freely were always the more popular kids on campus when I was in school. Progress is not always a bad thing, given the right context it’s something we can all embrace. Even us old farts. So maybe it’s time I get on Facebook. Just don’t ask me to Like you unless you are hot, young, a giving person, and willing to buy my Friendship with some face to face time.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy: