Men of stature, who previously got a laugh at the expense of fellow flyers subjected to embarrassing TSA checks for flying with their favorite dildo (the rubber kind, not their boyfriend) knowing they’d never suffer the same thanks to their best buddy being prodigious enough to be a sex toy in its own right, need to wipe that smirk off their faces. (Or at least tone it down a few notches – when your cock measures 13.5” it’s difficult to not go through life smirking.) According to a recent news report the TSA’s interest is being aroused by men whose junk gives even other men penis envy.

A TSA agent manning the security checkpoint at the San Francisco airport stopped Jonah Falcon, who owns what is reputedly the largest documented penis in the world, on July 9th concerned that he was packing a weapon of mass conception. Falcon, who says he had his dick strapped to his left leg and was not erect at the time, reported the agent, who was concerned about the bulge in his pants, asked him if he had something in his pocket, to which he replied, “Yes, it’s my dick.”

The 41-year-old new Yorker, whose penis has made several appearances on television including an HBO documentary, a documentary on UK Channel 4, and The Daily Show in addition to being featured in Rolling Stone magazine, says he was subjected to a full body pat down during which the TSA agent fondled his not so little buddy, was led through one of the full body X-ray scanners, and was screened with a wand that paled in comparison to the size of his dick.

“They even put some powder on my pants,” he said. “Probably a test for explosives.”

Falcon, whose penis is longer than a wine bottle and about as thick and who reported during his segment on The Daily Show that he can completely envelop a doorknob with his foreskin, says another TSA agent asked him if he had some sort of a growth. Reporting the incident on his Facebook page, he said he was eventually released and allowed to catch his flight. He followed up with a tweet: “Two hour delay…Fun trip home (sarcasm mode).”

Some have suggested the incident was a publicity stunt by Falcon, though why any man packing that much meat would need additional publicity is beyond me. Of greater concern is that those of us who have been blessed by the gods may now be victims of spatial profiling at airports based on nothing more than our profile.

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