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Gay Thailand. Those two words conjure up an immediate mental picture in the mind of every gay man who has ever visited the Land of Smiles. It might be your favorite gay gogo bar, pub, area, boy, all – or none – of the above. But your picture of gay Thailand and my picture of gay Thailand may well be different. That’s one of the things that makes Thailand such a great place for gay men to visit. It offers something for everybody. There’s a gay Thailand for every taste, every desire, every interest, and every budget.
Bangkok alone offers dozens of versions of gay Thailand. Some gay visitors only delve into the community by passing evenings at one of the pubs on Soi 4. Some don’t even go that far, their version of gay Thailand is a once in a lifetime visit to a foreign locale where they can be intimate in public with their partner (within reason) with no concern of receiving so much as a scowl. Some visitors cruise the shopping malls for a date. Others cruise the same establishments for a quick anonymous tryst in the restroom. There are aficionados of the numerous saunas and spas, those who only visit massage parlors that offer a happy ending, and others who spend every night in one of the gay gogo bars on Soi Twilight. Gogo bar fans on a tighter budget or who enjoy an extra dose of sleaze with their sleaze head for the anything goes bars that are spaced along the soi where the infamous muscle lover’s bar, Tawan squats. And then there are the suck cinemas and familiar street corners where non-professional professional companions hang out waiting for a date. Not to mention the areas along Sukhumvit where you are guaranteed the lady you pick up won’t be. It’s no wonder ‘gay Thailand’ invokes such different visions amongst gay men. There is something for every gay man in Thailand.
The men of Thailand are as different from each other as the gay experience in Thailand is. From lissome young lads with skin whiter than a winter in Minneapolis, to dark dusky men who, with the right accent, could be easily confused for one of Sukhumvit’s Nigerian flesh peddlers, in Thailand there is a vast smorgasbord of available guys. Even visitors who swear they don’t like rice easily succumb to temptation. Thais, generally, are the least Asian looking Asians on the planet. Unless you are really into Asians, because they’ll qualify there too. Young or old, skinny, fat, or muscle bound, Thai guys come in all shapes and sizes. And rarely will you find a more friendly group of men. Nowhere will you find a group of men so willing to play their expected role in whatever fantasy is coursing through your mind.
Within hours of landing in Thailand, you can find the perfect guy. One who will be your date, or your friend, a companion to see the country’s sites with, or a fuck buddy to spend the late night hours with. Regardless of your age, looks, or income level, you can find a guy with whom you can fall in love, or a guy who will rock your world sexually. A partner for a quickie or one to spend your entire holiday with are equally on the menu. For a gay visitor in Thailand, you will find exactly what you seek. And that’s before you even begin to consider where in Thailand you plan on spending your time.
Most international visitors to the kingdom land in Bangkok. Some never leave Thailand’s capital city. Others head almost immediately to where their vision of gay Thailand lays. While it is possible to discover your gay Thailand in the less tourist regions of the country, most gay men holiday either in Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, or Chiang Mai. Each is unique, each has something different to offer, and each tends to fit gay travellers’ expectations to a T.
Bangkok is the cosmopolitan center of Thailand and offers the largest variety of accommodations and experiences for gay men. You could easily visit Bangkok a dozen times and walk away with a different vision of gay Thailand on each. There are clubs and discos, both gay and mixed, pubs, bars, coffee shops, and restaurants all geared toward the gay visitor. Bangkok’s saunas run the gamut from those situated for tourists to those on the outskirts of town frequented predominately by locals. Massage shops abound, and gay gogo bars await, clustered together to make a night out prowling the bar world a breeze. But for some, Bangkok sets too hectic of a pace. And for many, the city’s gay establishments, not to mention its men, are just too expensive. You can set your own pace, and you can do Bangkok on a dime. But most gay visitors looking for a more casual atmosphere and a lower cost of living head for one of the other gay areas of Thailand.
Pattaya, Thailand’s version of Sin City, is the closest to Bangkok and can be reached by public transportation if you really want to go cheap. While there are some attractions and Buddhist temples in and around Pattaya, it exists for one primary reason: Sex. Pattaya has no five star resorts. Its infrastructure is almost nonexistence. And it’s waters are heavily polluted. Rip-offs and scams are common. No one seems to care. The gay Thailand envisioned by Pattaya aficionados is all about naked flesh. And young naked flesh seems to be the most popular dream.
In Bangkok, your vision of gay Thailand can easily not include the commercial sex scene. In Pattaya, it’s required by law. No one goes to Pattaya for the beautiful views, or the pristine beaches and turquoise blue waters. No one goes to Pattaya because they love Thailand’s wats or to spend their days at museums. Pattaya has none of that. What it does have is hundreds, if not thousands, of available men everywhere you look. And for a price, they are all willing to make your fondest dreams come true. On a budget.
For the sex tourist, Pattaya is pure heaven. You don’t have to go looking for sex in Pattaya, it will find you. And it’ll cost you a fraction of the price an orgasm will run you anywhere else in Thailand. You don’t even need to ever enter a bar. Guys will proposition you on the beach, on the streets, and at your hotel. It’s no wonder that for many visitors, gay Thailand means Pattaya. But Pattaya is not just about sex. It’s also a smaller town with a laid-back feel where you can easily make friends with expats and visitors who share a common interest with you. Which is of course, sex.
Like Bangkok, there are numerous massage shops that cater to gay men in Pattaya. Saunas, not so much. Pattaya has more pubs and restaurants geared toward the gay visitor than Bangkok does. And though I’ve never tallied them up, there also appears to be more gogo bars in Pattaya too. The bars are spread around town in small groupings, areas that are well known to gay visitors to Thailand and each has its own distinct blend of entertainment. An odd paradox, there is less nudity and sex acts to be found in Pattaya’s bars. Bangkok’s Soi Twilight puts on shows with full, hard, nudity that surpasses even your wildest flights of imagination. Not so in Pattaya. But what you will find is a large numbers of bars that not only allow, but encourage, sampling of the staff on site. And in most cases you need not even leave your bar stool. Sex sells in Pattaya. Sleaze is the icing on the cake. And it’s always heavily discounted and on sale.
As a beach town, unless your idea of a day at the beach means a day spent diddling boys while you bake in the sun, Pattaya does not cut it. Those who yearn for the postcard picture beaches of Thailand instead head south. If your vision of gay Thailand is one of white sandy beaches set off by myriad shades of tropical blue water, then Phuket is where you will head. And for gay visitors that means Patong Beach.
Patong is not a gay destination like Pattaya is. The community in Patong is smaller and primarily centered around the Paradise complex where you’ll find a smattering of gay guest houses, small bars and cafes, and gogo bars. And lots of ladyboys. There are tons of ladyboys in Bangkok and Pattaya too, but nowhere else in Thailand do they congregate as the girls do in Phuket. They are legion in Patong.
The live sex acts of the performers in Bangkok and the customers in Pattaya have not made their way down south. Shows at Patong’s gay gogo bars are more of a cabaret act in nature, and always includes more ladyboys than you ever imagined existed. In fact, most shows only use their boys to break up the ladyboy acts. But that seems fitting for Phuket. Few gay men go to Patong just for sex. Instead, they spend their day at the beach and break up their tropical holiday with an occasional boy. You can not compare Phuket’s beaches, and outlying islands, with Pattaya’s seaside offerings. It’s a case of comparing apples to moldy, overripe oranges. That have already been bitten into by a dozen other guys that day. Oooops, I guess that really was more about the differences between the two destinations’ boys.
But when it comes to costs, you can compare the two and, at least for the thrifty, Pattaya comes out the winner. The commercial sex scene in Phuket is not cheap. Nothing in Phuket is. And if you haven’t already paid enough, there are numerous scams you can fall prey to to make sure you have done your part to support the town’s economy. A night of sin in Phuket will cost you just as much as it will in the pricier areas of Bangkok. If not more.
If Bangkok is too hectic, Pattaya too sleazy, and Phuket too expensive and doesn’t offer much to do other than beach related activities, then Chiang Mai might be the perfect gay Thailand for you. Thailand’s second largest city still has a small town feeling while offering a wide variety of activities and attractions for you to while away your days enjoying. It’s almost as if someone took all of the other areas of Thailand’s bad points and turned them into positive points in Chiang Mai. This cool, sleepy little town in the north has it all. Whatever your vision of gay Thailand is, you can find it in Chiang Mai.
Unlike Pattaya, Chiang Mai is not just about sex. Unlike Bangkok, Chiang Mai is not about running crazy trying to squeeze in an overwhelming schedule of places to go and sites to see. And unlike Phuket, Chiang Mai is not hard on your wallet, nor is the opportunity to participate in a scam a daily occurrence. Chiang Mai allows you to fulfill your vision of gay Thailand more than any of the other gay destinations within the country. Its only drawback for the gay tourist is that its commercial sex scene is a bit too spread out. Even those areas where you’ll find a cluster of bars, saunas, and other establishments catering to the gay visitor, are not convenient to the other areas of town. In Chiang Mai, you actually have to go looking to find a place, or a boy, for the night.
Chiang Mai offers a wide variety of accommodations for gay visitors, from swanky five star resorts to small, cozy, and friendly gay owned and operated guest houses. You can eat cheap or splurge, spend hundreds daily on day tours and activities, or drop not a dime touring the hundreds of wats and cultural sites within the city. There are designer boutiques in Chiang Mai with prices to rival those you’ll find at Gucci or Armani, and night markets where, with a bit of bartering, you can spend less than half what you’d pay for the same merchandise in Bangkok (or a third of what it’d cost in Phuket). Chiang Mai fits every budget and meets everyone’s vision of what gay Thailand means.
Thailand is a great destination for any gay man. Regardless of what it is you are coming to Thailand to find. From its big cities to its small towns, Thailand warmly welcomes its gay visitors. Just remember when you mention a trip to Thailand to another gay man, his vision of gay Thailand might be something completely different than yours.
Stry said:
Love the jock strapped dude in the 5th photo. Causes me to want to volunteer to add some oil.
I enjoyed this post, also. but there is one comment that confused me (a little).
“…..a foreign locale where they can be intimate in public with their partner (within reason) with no concern of receiving so much as a scowl…..”
Although there appears to be an awful lot on offer for Gays in Thailand, especially in comparison with almost anywhere else in the world, from my reading I have always been under the impression that discretion was still the rule of the day when one was out among the actual public (on the streets, on transportation, when sightseeing, when shopping, etc.). And I’ve understood that this was especially important from the perspective of the Thai guy that you might be with (to be discrete).
Maybe I’m misunderstanding your comment. Could you please explain, a little, just what you mean when you write “they can be intimate in public with their partner”. Thanks.
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Stry, ‘within reason’ was the operative part of that statement, though even that might require explanation. Or evidently does. 🙂
From personal experience I’ve noticed affection shown in public in Thailand between two men does not get the negative reaction it would back home. That’d be mild affection. Noom quite often wants to hold hands as we walk around the town, and no one has ever seemed to care. Other times, he’ll snuggle into my arms when we are sitting somewhere (usually getting comfortable for yet another nap). Again, no locals even raise an eyebrow. He’s also given me a quick kiss in public, which has never drawn a bad reaction much less any reaction from locals. It’s always been affection though, and not sexual. And he’s always the one to instigate it.
On the other side, I’ve seen guys out with their boy d jour who behave as though they were still in the bar. Others besides me tend to show their lack of appreciation for those demonstrations. And I doubt any bar boy wants to be fondled in public.
So my statement was applied to an example of two guys on a trip to Thailand being able to express their love for each other in public – within reason – without worry. Dry humping your partner in public, even with straights, is not a good idea, but the type of affection typically expressed by a couple in polite society is fine in Thailand even when that couple is gay.
Stry said:
Thanks for the clarification. It’s nice to know that light touching, holding hands, a peck and even a little cuddling might all be acceptable in public. Although it might be a good idea to let the Thai guy take the lead in those instances…..just to make sure he is comfortable with it.
Bangkokbois said:
Yeppers, ‘take the lead’ is perfect. I’d not even ask a bar boy if it was okay to do whatevers, more than likely he would say yes even if he hates the idea.
bebot q. gomez said:
your very informative blog on gay thailand is very much helpful. been in and out of he kingdom-tho’ limiting my stay in bangkok-more than i can remember yet your observations are really erudite, whatever the word means-lol…!
hoping you’d blog on the possible scams one may encounter in the gay world of bangkok especially on offing men from tawan.
can’t wait for my holidays in thailand come march…
best regards…!
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Bebot, hope you might consider some of the other areas of Thailand for your net trip.
I think what most end up calling a scam when it comes to bar boys (Tawan or not) is really a miscommunication. Or failure to communicate. Good thought for a post though. I’ll see what I can do before you head out in March.
Al said:
Pattaya ugggggh, ladyboys ugggggh!
Chiang Mai however, a breath of fresh air in more ways than one. I adore Chiang mai.
Go to the Kings summer (or is it winter) palace the soldiers are just something else, young strapping lads.
Oh and the gardens/ roses are sensational, gifts from Heads of State and Royalty all the world over.
Bangkokbois said:
Gardens? Roses? Al! You’re starting to sound so gay!
🙂
Too lazy to Google it for the name, but Chiang Mai has a big floweer show every year in the winter. Really worth taking the time to visit.