Short people are the last to know it is raining.
And the first to know it’s a flood.
One can only assume Thailand’s new government is made up of people above-average in height.

If you haven’t been able to decipher whether or not Suvarnabhumi Airport is experiencing flooding, I’m gonna settle that question for you now. It is. But the problem is not water. It is a flood of cars that has descended on Bangkok’s International Airport. Vehicles of every kind, everywhere you look. The airport is a humongous parking lot.

The multi-floored parking structure is packed to the gills. I hope the lower floors are being reserved for use by actual travellers. But then since the overabundance of parked vehicles is thanks to concerns about the possible flooding in near-by areas, for once, it is the upper floors of the parking garage that hold the primo spots. Or did if you got there early enough to snag one. Because now, it’s all about overflow.

Driving toward the departure area you start noticing traffic is heavier than normal. Not that that slows your 200 km/h driving taxi daredevil down in the least bit. Nor should it. All the traffic is queued up along the left side of the roadway. On the right, where terminal access soon appears, its clear sailing.

As you whiz pass the gridlock you quickly realize the problem is that there are no drivers in any of the cars. The vehicles are not waiting to inch forward. They’ve been parked. High above ground; high above the most generous estimate of tidal flood levels. That the roadway has become a gigantic parking lot shouldn’t be a surprise, every overpass visible off the tollway for the last 20 kilometers has been turned into a parking lot too. Thailand’s prime minister announced locals should move their valuable to high ground in expectation of the rising water. Seems they listened. And their most valuable possession, evidently, is their car.

The PM also announced that flood waters were being diverted from the middle of the city – which by default means purposefully steered toward what officials deem less important portions of the greater Bangkok metropolitan area – and that key spots, such as the airport, would receive the greatest amount of the government’s protective efforts. So the safest place for your car these days is at Suvarnabhumi Airport.

Touri have helped ease the airport congestion problem by cancelling their trips to Thailand. The facility is not quite deserted, but does have a feel to it as if the yellow shirts are headed its way once again. Wait time at check-in counters is minimal, at security check points nonexistent. And the crowds in the smoking rooms in the domestic terminal . . . oh, wait, no crowds: they’ve closed all of the domestic terminal smoking areas.

Meanwhile, the extent of the flooding in Bangkok is minimal. Unless you live in one of the areas the government decided to sick the flood on. But then if you do, you are not a tourist (touri areas are all safe and dry), part of the government (the seat of government is safe and dry), or rich (because the rich are always above everything). Today the PM warned Bangkokians that they should get ready for another four to six weeks of the same flood conditions they are already experiencing. Which for most means another month of sunny skies and dry, dusty streets.

Potential visitors to Bangkok are concerned about the flooding. The visuals on TV do not bode well for a holiday in Thailand right now. But in Bangkok at least, the only tourists experiencing flooding are those who booked into a cheap hotel that has a Thai-style bathroom.