Sawatdee and welcome to the new and improved Bangkokbois’ Gay Thailand Blog! Okay, so it’s not necessarily improved, just hosted on a new site and tinkered with a bit. And it’s not just about Thailand, though that still is the main focus. And it’s not all gay either, unless you’re not and then you’ll think it’s pretty damn gay I’m sure. All of the penis might tip you off. Which means if you are not of the required legal age to be looking at penis other than your own, you should leave. And go tell your parental units they suck at their job. For everyone else, enter at your own risk.
I assume my regular diet is healthy ‘cuz I’ve eaten a lot of fruits in my life. Not to mention all the protein from meat I’ve digested. Fish, not so much. As for veggies, I think those are best left for lesbians to enjoy. Which should provide you with a mental picture that’ll keep you off that foodstuff for life. The Department of Agriculture and the Department of Health and Human Services, who jointly issue the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, may disagree. But then they can never agree on just which foods are healthy for you and which are not anyway. They update the guidelines every five years, and every five years switch between eggs being good for you or eggs being the food from hell. Considering the average ballooning waistline of my fellow countrymen, they’d do better providing guidance on whether a triple scoop of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey or Haagen Dazs’ Caramel Cone is best way for you to go.
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Noom, my bar boy friend and current love of my life, is one of those people who kiss with their eyes wide open. Not that I blame him. Considering what he does for a living I wouldn’t’ want to take my eyes off a customer either. But then considering who he does for a living, I’d shut my eyes as tightly as possible as soon as I walked into a customer’s hotel room too. When you are a bar boy, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Still, he’s in the minority. According to a recent opinion poll, 4I percent of people keep their eyes closed when they kiss. 20 percent admit to peeking. And 8 percent keep their eyes wide open. There was no statistic on how many people open their eyes in the morning and wish they’d not been kissing what they woke up next to the night before. ‘Cuz that can be a real eye opener.
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When you hear about fists flying in a Thailand resort town you probably think about incidences like the ladyboy in Pattaya who recently clobbered a Polish tourist with the spiked end of her high-heel shoe for interfering with the katoey’s attempt at soliciting the woman’s husband. But as is usually the case when it’s Pattaya versus Phuket, the one with clean water and tropical beaches scores the knock out punch. There’s a ladyboy in Phuket who would’ve instead taken on the Polish woman’s husband, and won. And these days, at least down south, there’s a good chance that husband would’ve spent his time in Thailand learning how defend himself instead of trolling Walking Street in an alcoholic daze susceptible to landing a dick when he thought he was getting a chick.
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I read a lot of fiction, primarily books loosely defined as thrillers. So cops, private eyes, and agents of shadowy quasi-governmental organizations are the norm. And because it’s one of the things the USA is #1 in, that means lots of serial killers. That’s a good thing. ‘Cuz it’s helps teach you those things not to do to keep cops, private eyes, and agents of shadowy quasi-governmental organizations from pegging you as one. Not to mention your neighbors will generally think higher of you too.
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“I have public hairs bigger than his dick was!”
Helena spewing orange juice all over the table should have clued Chris in that a simple “Good Morning!” would have been a more appropriate greeting. I briefly considered suggesting that a bit of manscaping might be in order, but the look on Chris’ face told me he was not a happy camper. But evidently was a size queen. Chris had started his Thailand holiday swearing that the commercial sex scene was not part of his plan. He was too young and too not bad looking to pay for sex. And then proceeded to indulge in the procurement of a bar boy nightly while we were in Bangkok.
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For those of us who visit Thailand, and its bars, frequently, the entire process of a night out is pretty humdrum. We know what to expect. We don’t even think about the details. It’s all second nature to us. But what about the new guys? It’s not like outside of Thailand you’ll ever have an experience even close to that of visiting one of the gay gogo bars in Bangkok. While a first time visit is undoubtedly thrilling, it also can be a bit unnerving as the newbie hasn’t a clue as to how the whole thing works
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