Think you just nailed the best on-line prices for airline tickets and hotels for your next visit to the Land of Smiles? Huh. Took that smile right off your face now didn’t it?

If you are tired of hearing people tell you how much you look like Zac Efron, Face++ offers a free chance to discover they really mean RuPaul. Load your selfie (uh, of your face, not your dick) and the site will compare your image to hundreds of celebrities and tell you who you really look like. And just because it returns a photo of Bruce Jenner doesn’t necessarily mean it’s faulty.

Just how unusual are your sexual fantasies? The University of Montreal surveyed 1,500 adults about their deepest, darkest sexual desires and then tallied the results to find out just how sick Canadians really are. Not surprisingly, 88% of men fantasize about getting head. But all but 10% of those fantasize about it being someone other than their partner. And only 26% fantasize about giving head (which explains why so many men only fantasize about getting a blow job). 40% of men want to be spanked; 20% want to have gay sex. Though not necessarily for having gay sex. And while they didn’t mention my fantasy about Greg Louganis and a swimming pool full of lime Jello, bestiality made the list and I wouldn’t want to be a moose up north.

With the Republicans taking over congress and even championing the election of openly gay candidates, you may be wondering just how in the hell you are supposed to be voting now (other than for Hillary in 2016, obviously). A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but How Liberal / Conservative Is Your Name suggests how you should be casting your ballot. (Shit. It looks like I’ll be backing Ted Cruz.)

With Neal Patrick Harris rumored to be hosting the next Academy Awards, they should include a new category and nominee options abound in The Best Crotch Shots in Mainstream Films, some of which are dressed (kinda, sorta) some of which belong to a celebrity I didn’t know had gone full frontal.

And speaking of Oscar worthy appearances, Charlie Hunnam’s incredible bubble butt’s role in Sons of Anarchy is worthy of a statue. Or maybe it’s that it just makes me as hard as one.

But at least Hollywood directors know what to do with dick, ‘cuz you guys worry me sometimes.

So for those of you who aren’t dreaming about how good yours would look in a pair of Manolo’s, here’s this week’s NSFW Tumblr naked male flesh link, Asian Boys Only. Which is a much better rule to live by.

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