Sure the star or whatever it is you put on top of your Christmas tree is supposed to be the ornament; it has the place of honor after all. But not unlike with the 1%ers who rely on all those below them for their lofty position, on a Christmas tree the ornaments you hang below your topper can either make or break your decorating efforts. Being a gay man, you might think your tree needs lots of rainbows or should be done in pink. But we are known for being both witty and gay, and with the opportunity of visual puns on Christmas balls . . .

This year two men’s health charities came up with the same idea and are offering Bauballs as their holiday donation drive. Focusing on what all men consider their most important package of any season, Bauballs are shiny Christmas tree decoration in the shape of a dangling pair of balls. You can get your hands on a pair from either Everyman or Orchid, both non-profit organizations that promote testicular cancer awareness.

Orchid’s site – which is temporarily out of their bauballs though they promise a new sackful will soon be ready – also features health advice and a how to guide for checking yourself or a friend. Everyman’s set of Bauballs are available through Etsy and they offer eight different designs including an elf’s, snowman’s, Santa’s, and a reindeer’s impressive pair of low hangers.

If testicular cancer is spotted at an early stage there’s about a 98% chance of cure. Not that y’all need and excuse for playing with yourself, regularly checking your puppies for unusual lumps can save your life. Or at least your sex life. And if you really like your friends, you’ll volunteer to check them too. Hell, since it’s about health, don’t be shy about stopping any hot stranger and offering to check his balls for him too. The Christmas season is all about giving after all.

And while we are on the subject of balls, Mario Lopez’ salute to the holidays was a pretty ballsy move in itself. Mario is still trying to convince someone he isn’t gay, and tweeted out this heart-warming holiday picture of his ass draped in red undies decorating his Christmas tree. Even though Mario is just one of the girls, I don’t know that mooning your daughter is the best idea for a family holiday tradition. But ‘tis the season, so what the hell . . .

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