Every year during the holiday season there are a vocal minority of people who as a child thought Scrooge was a hero and as adults do their damnedest to kill off the joy of Christmas by bitching and moaning about how commercialized the holiday has become. It’s a smoke and mirrors approach to being a cheap-ass; these are the same folk who, among their (small) circle of friends, are notorious for giving worthless junk as Christmas gifts, such as the free promotional hand out coffee mugs, calendars, pens, and tote bags they’ve spent the year gathering under the guise of getting their Christmas shopping done early.

But then that too is a holiday tradition; in tracing down the origins of some of our more beloved holiday icons, it turns out they started as nothing more than corporate marketing. Even our current version of Santa Claus is thanks to the Coca-Cola company; the original was an anorexic looking octogenarian who looked more like a child molester than a jolly old elf. Of course most Christmas holiday tradition origins lay in pagan religious beliefs and practices, but we’ll leave that subject to those who do their damnedest to kill off the joy of Christmas by bitching and moaning about putting Christ back in Christmas and instead look at one of our more popular holiday stories. That started off thanks to Madison Avenue.

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all? Of course you do. Thanks to that retail giant that only still exists in the minds of catalog shoppers living in the fly over states, Montgomery Ward. That and that reindeer are rather ugly creatures and don’t exactly top the charts for folk tale subjects so co-opting one to lure shoppers into your establishment was a safe bet and free from trademark infringements.

Rudolph’s shiny red nose – which today would be recognized for the cancerous growth that it is – first appeared in 1939 in a booklet written by Robert L. May on behalf of the then retail giant who had been buying and giving away coloring books for Christmas every year. The bean counters at Wards decided that creating their own book would save money and ended up being responsible for a Christmas story known the world over. Today, some 70+ years later Rudolph is still one of the favorite childhood Christmas tales, while Montgomery Ward has not fared quite as brightly.

But then neither have those who have tried to cash in on the Rudolph craze either. “Cuz Rudolph’s story is copyrighted by Classic Media and his image is trademarked and licensed by Character Arts, both of whom in the spirit of the Christmas holidays will sue your ass if you use their character without paying licensing fees. Ho, ho ho, and a bah humbug to boot.

On behalf of the estate of Robert L. May, Character Arts successfully sued Pottery Barn who used Rudolph’s image on a line of table settings and knickknacks several years ago. Last year, the Boston Red Sox too learned the danger of a glowing red nose. They wanted to issue a book for charity in which one of their star players helped Rudolph save Christmas. The trademark holder said no because they wanted to “safeguard Rudolph’s current mythological reverence.” Boston switched over to a holiday greeting card depicting Rudy as a minor-leaguer teased about never being able to make it to The Show and learned who really is the grinch who stole Christmas.

Even the little guys get steam rolled by Rudolph’s owners. Several years ago the family owned Bethlehem Brew Works were in their third year of offering their annual Rudolph’s Reserve ale when Classic Media heard about what those little elves were up to. Each bottle of the brew pub’s holiday ale had a label depicting a cartoon Santa removing a bottle of beer from a cartoon reindeer’s pack. The label’s reindeer had a bright red nose. Classic Media yelled foul, along with cease and desist, but did agree the brewery could sell its remaining cases of the ale. For a fee.

Rudolph, as old as he is, is still a hot property and more popular than Honey Boo Boo. He has been in more movies than Charlie Sheen, more books than Harry Potter, and sold more records than Justin Bieber. And that’s one little reindeer that doesn’t have to worry about showing up on Sarah Palin’s table for Christmas.

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