Except for the nerdy guys in the Gay Mens Chorus, few of us can ever remember all of the gifts as listed in the Twelve Days of Christmas carol. Except the five golden rings one. It’s the only gift out of the twelve that even comes close to being acceptable. I’d thought maybe the twelve drummers drumming might be fun, provided you could get them to put down the damn sticks, but then couldn’t come up with twelve hot rock band drummers that would get my heart beating. I mean Phil Collins? Would you do Phil Collins? So gold it is.

Gold has a traditional tie-in with Christmas too. It was one of the three gifts given to the baby Jesus by the three wisemen. In case you are as foggy on that story as you are on the twelve days of Christmas gifts, the other two were frankincense and myrrh. Between the three – and even throwing in what’s behind door number three – you’d probably opt for the gold. Undoubtedly because you only have a vague idea of what frankincense is and not a clue as to what in the hell myrrh is. Besides, unless you’re being offered diamonds, well, ya can’t go wrong with gold, right?

Well, good thing you’re making that choice today and not back at the time of Jesus’ birth. If you’d chosen the gold back then, the three wise men would have laughed at you. All of the animals in the manger would have been snickering too. Of the three, gold was the least valuable (and while we’re correcting your sense of worth, an emerald of the same size and grade as a like diamond is worth about six times as much.)

Frankincense is a whitish resin harvested from Boswellia trees, which are indigenous to parts of the Middle East and Africa. The highest quality frankincense comes from Oman, Yemen, and Somalia. It was given as a gift by Balthasar, a king from Saba (present day southern Yemen), so you know the frankincense handed over in Bethlehem was top quality.

Frankincense is harvested by making slits in the bark of the tree and letting the resin slowly bleed out and harden into white tears. Usually, it is then ground into powder, which increases its value. Throughout history, the principal use of frankincense has been in perfumes and as incense. It has a very strong scent, with a sweet aroma, and is known for its clean and even burning properties. In ancient times, like it is today, frankincense was primarily used in religious services.

Back in the day it was a principle export of Arabia; huge caravans of thousands of camels transported the valuable powder to the shores of the Mediterranean for transshipment, as well as into the Far East. Today the Arabian area is rich thanks to oil, back then it was thanks to frankincense.

Most sources site frankincense as being on par with the value of gold at the time of Jesus’ birth (usually by using the phrase “worth its weight in gold’). However, records show that it actually was more valuable than gold at that time because it was becoming scarce. Droughts in Yemen and Oman had decreased production of frankincense, and it’s price was skyrocketing. Estimates are that it was actually worth about three times the cost of gold. So the smarter choice would have been to pass up the gold and grab the frankincense instead. But only if someone else had already grabbed the myrrh.

Like frankincense, myrrh is a resin from a tree. In this case Commiphora trees which are native to Somalia and eastern Ethiopia. The sap is one of the thorny little trees’ natural defense systems. Oozing from damaged trees, it gums up the mouth parts of attacking insects, such as termites, and is an antibiotic that helps the plant fend off infection. And like frankincense, myrrh is highly aromatic and was used as incense and in perfume. It was also popular in Egypt as an embalming agent; it helped reduce decay in mummies and acted as a glue to prevent tissues from falling apart.

Myrrh was given as a gift by Gaspar, a king from Tarsus – present day Southern Turkey. At that time, the world’s finest myrrh came from Southern Arabia and it is generally thought that this was the origins of Gaspar’s gift. Myrrh was among the most valuable substances known and, at the time of the birth of Christ – again thanks to its scarcity – it was worth seven times its weight in gold.

So now you know what frankincense and myrrh are, and in case you ever get transported back in time, know which to stock up on. If you never get the chance to time travel, well, you just learned a useless fact. No worries, by this time next year you won’t be able to remember what myrrh is anymore than you can all twelve of the daily gifts that damn song is about.