“I hungry!”
“Where do you wanna eat?”
“Up to you.”
“Good, let’s go to Sizzler.”
“Nooooooooooooo!”
That’s all it takes to set Noom – my bar boy friend and current love of my life – off and running, leading us to wherever it is he’s then decided we should eat. I know when he says he is hungry he already has a place picked out. Sometimes, because of where we are, the ‘where’ is obvious. Noom is a creature of habit. But he’s also Thai and would never presume to make the decision on where we will eat. Until he’s given me the opportunity to do so. But a bad call is a bad call. And it can be ignored even when you are Thai.
Me not being the one to ultimately decide where we eat is part of our routine now. He knows I’m not fussy about where we dine. With some exceptions. My dining habits are different in Thailand than they are at home, I tend to go with the flow. There are still a few rules to live by, such as no fish, but for the most part wherever he decides we should chow down is fine with me. But it took him a while to figure out how to make that selection, trying to make sense of the farang mind is not an easy task.
Noom assumed because I nixed the idea of eating at a set of street carts for dinner one night that I didn’t like Thai food. And then looked at me in bafflement when we went to the Mango Tree, a Thai restaurant, instead. Pondering that choice, he assumed I didn’t like to eat from street carts. And then was further perplexed when that’s where we had lunch the next day. I could have explained the difference to him, but keeping the boy off his pace is a good thing. They say familiarity breeds contempt. Of that I’m not worried. My motivation is more about keeping him confused. And off his feed.
For a while Noom always suggested restaurants that offered farang food. Even Thais know a steak dinner is a winner in most Westerner’s minds. At least until they’ve tried steak in Thailand. Thais don’t really get beef. But then if you’ve ever seen a Thai cow you’d understand why their attempts at steak fail so miserably. I was glad when that little fake Parisian steak place in Patpong closed shop. It was Noom’s dinner choice, in deference to my assumed taste buds, far too often. Knowing he selected that restaurant with me in mind made it difficult to turn down. The meat they served as steak there was equally difficult in getting down.
Noom has his own preferences and rules about dining. Well, rule. Unless you count anywhere, anytime, anything as a rule. As a convert to Hinduism Noom no longer eats beef. It’s one of that faith’s rules that he can understand and he follows it quite religiously. I admire his devotion, but then removing beef from your diet for a Thai isn’t quite the same sacrifice it would be for someone from the west. Like me. Noom prefers that I too observe the no beef rule. As with so many areas of my daily life in Thailand in which he considers it is his duty to take care of me, at dinner time he wants to take care of my soul too. But his no beef rule gets a bit tiring at times. And I long for the days of dining at that fake little Parisian restaurant in Patpong.
Noom likes nice restaurants. I don’t know that he appreciates the quality of food so much as that he enjoys the status of dining there. That he also gets to treat the wait staff in an imperious manner is a dessert in its own right. He usually snickers about the price of various dishes, quietly, slyly, comparing how much cheaper the same dish can be had elsewhere. To him it’s a joke. To him it is a perfect example of how foolish people can be with their money. To him it’s yet another chance to laugh at the oddities of farang. He never quite finishes that equation, that we are dining there and paying the exorbitant prices, but that’s the type of thing about him that makes him so endearing to me. The massive quantity of food and variety of dishes he orders at 5 star restaurants, not so much. The boy is not a cheap date.
Noom has finally figured out that it is not the food I’m opposed to at the street carts he likes eating at come three o’clock in the morning, but that I’m not hungry at that hour. He knows I will nibble on a piece of barbecued meat on a stick in the early hours, more to be good company than out of desire, and typically buys one for me before leading us to whichever full Thai meal cart he’s selected as the winner that morning. And I’ve finally figured out the boy needs sustenance around 3:00 am even if we’ve been in bed sleeping for a few hours.
In the past, he was always quiet, making sure not to disturb my slumber when he’d get up to try to find a snack to satisfy his hunger. When his need finally dawned on me, I started stocking up on frozen microwavable meals from 7/11. They’re really bad. But Noom loves them. I didn’t mention them the first time I bought a stack, but he found the stash late the first night. And then came back over to the bed to wake me up so I could show him how to work the microwave. Politeness will always lose to a hungry Thai boy’s chance at a hot meal.
“I hungry!”
Big surprise. Imagine that. Couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that we are at MBK now could it? Noom is a big fan of the food court there. Normally, in life he is always quite decisive. At MBK’s food court, he can take an hour to decide on what he wants to eat. He is the proverbial kid in a candy store. The ‘what’ changes often. That his tray will be overloaded with food is a fact I can rely on.
Initially when we visited MBK around meal time Noom would lead me to any one of the numerous farang restaurants. When he finally realized I enjoy Thai food, he headed off down the long aisles to the backmost area of the 6th floor and I had my introduction to the Thai food court. It’s become one of our favorite spots to grab a quick meal in Bangkok. And when I mention the need to drop in at MBK, like Pavlov’s dog, Noom’s stomach starts rumbling.
You’d think as much as he likes MBK’s food court that he’d be able to make a beeline for the place when we’ve decided to drop in for a bite. Left to his uncanny sense of misdirection, I’d starve to death before we’d hit the right floor. But it is important to him to lead the way so I follow along behind him, up the escalator to each floor where he stops, checks to see if I give him the ‘this floor’ look, and if not heads over to the next set of escalators. The fifth floor, where they opened an international food court (bad food, bad selection, high prices) always gives him trouble. He knows that’s not the right floor, that it is not the right food court, and that I’m not going to lead him astray, but he sees the signs and his psyche wants to follow the arrows. Or maybe it’s just that his stomach senses the nearness of food. The song of the sirens is hard to resist.
Food courts can be found all over the city. Every large shopping mall or large department store has at least one. Most are inexpensive, most offer enough variety that anyone can find something they’ll like. I’m not a big fan of the one at the Big C across from Central World, but they have a water fountain where you can get free water so it ranks as Bangkok’s #2 food court in Noom’s opinion. He’s not too happy with the food selection there either, but that free water is hard to pass up.
Regardless of their location, food courts all operate the same way. Entering, you exchange baht for coupons. And then peruse the large number of individual ‘restaurants’ than line the court’s perimeter. After ordering, paying for, and getting your plate of food at one or more of the places (and drinks are usually offered at their own specific place) you grab an empty table out in the middle of the court. Repeat as necessary. Any left over coupons can be converted back to baht when you are through with you meal.
I’d always thought a food court was a great place for a quick bite; the variety of food on offer should please any palate. But then I took a group of travel friends to the one at MBK one afternoon. Noom made his usual circumnavigation of the place, stopping at every other place to order yet another dish. I headed to the stall I like best, a place that has a pork dish loaded with garlic. Or maybe that’s a garlic dish sprinkled with pork. We grabbed a table, waited for a while, and then I went in search of my friends who’d failed to show up at the table. Turned out the girls weren’t so much lost as at a loss about what they wanted to eat.
The variety to choose from wasn’t a plus in their minds. There were too many options, too many unknowns, too much to consider. I never considered that a food court could be an overwhelming experience. They ended up handing their stack of coupons back to me and headed to a small Japanese place just outside of the food court’s environs where a manageable menu awaited. And ordered a meal they could have had at half the price if they’d braved the food court.
Regardless of how many dishes are sitting on front of Noom – and it is always a lot because the boy can eat his weight in food – whatever is sitting in front of me is too tempting for him to let pass. I understand the Thai style of dining. You order a variety of dishes and then everyone eats a bit off each dish. But one small plate against a tray overloaded with dishes should be a heads up that Thai style dinning rules have been suspended for that meal. Unless you are Noom. If I’m hungry, I’ve learned to order two dishes of whatever it is I’m planning as a meal so there is enough to satisfy us both. And I’ve learned then to eat my portion quickly before it too disappears into the bottomless pit known as Noom.
Noom likes the garlic pork dish I usually order too. Once, when I ordered something else, he looked at my plate in disgust and then got up and ordered the garlic/pork serving he was missing. He knows, however, even though I may screw up what I order as a main dish, at the MBK food court I always pick up a plate of mango sticky rice. It’s a great local dessert, perfect for finishing off any meal. Or yet another part of your main meal if you are Noom. I’m more than willing to share my pork/garlic dish with him. But keep your damn hands off my mango sticky rice.
As with whatever else I’ve ordered, with mango sticky rice I’ve learned the best move when dining with Noom is to order two servings. One for him, one for me. The first time I wisely did so, he noted that we both had our own dessert. And then promptly set about eating mine. Bastard. Fine, two can play that game. With an empty plate in front of me off of which I‘d only had two bites, I reached across the table to start eating his. Noom pulled it away, out of my reach, shook his head, and laughed. Even when you are hungry, playing games with farang can make for an enjoyable meal.
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tany said:
im just wondering how much do you usually pay him per day as ive heard most of these boys will never settle for anything less than THB5000
Bangkokbois said:
Seriously?
The norm in Bangkok is around 2,000 (depending on who, what, why, where, and how). And short of a bar’s star who is used to being spoiled, there is no question of ‘settling’ on any amount. The tip is ‘up to you’. It comes at the end of your time together, not as a pre-stated fee before leaving the bar.
lukylok said:
Your description of a meal with a hungry thai boy is priceless ! I know that if I want some mushrooms from the dish I share with my friend, I’d better order two ! 🙂
Bangkokbois said:
Amazing how many of them share dining habits, huh?
Jojo said:
“I too hungry!” …… Hahaha! After looking at the photos and reading your food story experiences with Noom! 🙂
“My motivation is more about keeping him confused. And off his feed.” …. Really? You sly, little, mean guy! LOL!
Cheers!
Bangkokbois said:
Yeah Jojo, I have to admit around Noom I’m always hungry.
🙂
Eduard said:
That “up to you” thing can be so exasperating as their ” mai pen rai”!
Indeed watching an athletic Thai enjoying their food can be somewhat erotic…
Bangkokbois said:
. . . but it is so dificult sometimes to convince them to dine naked!
🙂
tany said:
no i mean for ONE WHOLE DAY, not just for short time, i know short time will be THB 1500, but what if you want him to accompany you for the whole day and sleep and have sex with you?
Bangkokbois said:
So did I Tany.
But that’s where the who what where how and why comes in.
Let’s say you hit a bar one night around 11pm and off a guy.
He stays with you through the night and into the late afternoon the next day before he needs to go back to his loom and get ready for work that night. That’s still a long-time off. And still around 2,000 baht. He accompanies you, you pay for his food and incidentals, sex is generally once – though if the chemistry is right maybe you get a repeat.
Now if you tell him he needs to be your tour guide, then you add $$$$.
If you wanna have sex a few times, you add $$$$.
If you fall in love, you add $$$$.
But still up to you.
And 5,000 is beyond the pale.
All night, all day, exemplary service, I’d go to 3,000 at max.
Mitch S. said:
“Ting tong farang!” Way too much money. 😉
I like to joke with the Chiang Mai guys “sow baht” anytime money comes up (“yee-sip baht” in Central/Bangkok dialect)! They know I’m kidding & not a Cheap Charlie.
tany said:
thanks bangkokbois, anyway i also believe in diversity of these boys some may settle for lower and some may settle for higher but most of the boys from Jupiter that ive asked would say their customers will pay them THB 5000 for one whole day companionship.
Bangkokbois said:
Geeze. Seriously, you should ask around.
But then again 5,000 would make you a very popular customer!
Jojo said:
Just a thought that you might be spoiling them at 5K baht! Also they will get used to that kind of money and may never settle for anything below that amount again! So I guess better not give in to the 5K asking fee.
ChristianPFC said:
When I am in Thailand, I eat about half of what I eat in Europe. I guess it’s due to the heat, I have to burn less food to keep my body temperature.
“Noom prefers that I too observe the no beef rule.” If I had a boyfriend, and he started to tell me what I can eat and what not – for religious reasons! – I would start looking for a new boyfriend (and continue eating what I want).
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Christian, though it may seem like a very little bit of white space to you, to me it is of major significance. Noom is not my boyfriend. He is my bar boy friend. Big difference. And I put up with a lot more crap from him because of it.
I’d not allow a boyfriend to tell me what I can and can’t eat either. In Noom’s case it is not so much telling me as it is a desire on his part out of concern for my soul. I’m still free to do what I want. I tend to go along with him on the beef rule because it makes him happy. Unless I’m craving red meat. Then I order beef anyway.
But thanks for the comment because it just made me realize if I can get the place I buy the garlic/pork from to make it with beef instead, I’d get my entire plate of food to myself!
tany said:
Logically speaking i believe that is the rate that they will charge looking at the normal rate of THB 1500 for short term which may not even last up to 30 minutes, THB 3000 for a night over and as you had always stated in your previous post, the boys would normally asked for additional THB 500 for their taxi, thus short term may even set you back to THB 2000 alone, what more if for the whole day…….
Bangkokbois said:
Ah Tany, you need to get a hold of your wallet my friend.
1,500 is normal, but also tops that you should pay for short-time in Bangkok. And how long that lasts is up to you. If 30 minutes is all you need the boy will lub you. Big time. But a short-time can just as easily last three or four hours. Um, you do realize for a 30 min. quickie that works out to $100 a hour, right?
Some ( far too man) boy have learned farangs are suckers and they pull the 500 baht taxi money trick. You know how far you can go for 500 baht in a taxi? I’ve mentioned this trick before as a warning, adding the advice to have small bills in your tip to negate the validity of ‘need more’. And then to refuse giving transpo cash. Unless you really do want to pay for his trip back to visit mama in the village.
You seem to be heavily defending your desire to pay 5,000 for a day’s off. No need, it is up to you and the boys will love you for throwing that kind of money around. But don’t try to convince others that this is a normal or expected tip. It isn’t.
BTW, I’ve also said several times before that boys who ask, or quote, a specific fee up front should be avoided. That is not the custom in Thailand. If you can not because he is the man of your dreams and your little head has taken over, then as with any other quoted price in Thailand you should negotiate.
Glenn said:
1500 for short time is certainly more than I would spend… I have only done that one time. Very cute boy who used to work at Classic before he moved over to Boys Bangkok. I didn’t negotiate in advance. After we were done I gave him the typical 1000. And he told me that 1500 is what he gets. I gave it to him skeptically. And never hired him again as I would have done. Altho I suspect he did fine without me.
Bangkokbois said:
Yup Glenn, someone will always be around to cough up a higher price. It won’t be me, but I’m glad for the boys that they can make the big bucks every now and then.
tany said:
Hi Bangkokbois, im just speaking from my experiences with the boys from Jupiter and i never frequented other bars, and ive never heard these boys would settled for anything below than THB 1500 (unless if they’re desperate-i guess) even the mamasan will quote you the said amount if you enquire on how much that you need to fork out for the boy. You need to realize that these boys work for the money, and especially those who are straight, its not an enjoyment for them and they would want to leave as soon as the service ends. If the boy is gay than i can understand that they dont mind spending the whole day cuddling with another hairy man. The rate that i paid was always quoted by the mamasans from the very first time we visited Jupiter and the next time im there i already knew how much to pay them, it was never quoted personally by the boy. Anyway, as i stated earlier i do believe there are varieties of boys with different attitudes and perceptions on how and why they work in bar and to what extend they can and cannot do and also the minimum rate that they expect from their customer, you can never generalize this.cheers.
Bangkokbois said:
Okay Tany, um, you did start off by asking how much.
I’d suggest a mamamasan might not be the best source for that answer.
But if you are happy with the price you pay and the service you get, then all is good with the world.
Shame I don’t know you though or else I could off the guy right after you and tell him my buddy already paid for both of us.
🙂
Anyway I’d much rather hear someone is overpaying than trying to get the guys cheap, so good on you.
Thanks!
tany said:
yes but all the different boys that ive offed would quote the same, maybe you can be specific and tell me which of the Jupiter boys that would settled for THB 1000 only?? Its the price that my other friends paid as well so you cant say that its specific to me alone. maybe you can share with us how much do you pay for your Noom than for one whole day??
Bangkokbois said:
Tany:
Your original comment asked how much is normal per day and you stated you’d heard most guys won’t settle for less than 5,000.
I responded that in Bangkok, 2,000 is the norm.
Several others have chimed in that 5,000 is much higher than the normal tip too.
I don’t know where you’ve come up with the 1,000 baht figure in your latest comment, or why you think which bar you off a boy from in Bangkok impacts the acceptable tip amount.
If you and your friends tip 5,000 at Jupiter, good for you.
And good for Jupiter’s boys.
You seem satisfied with paying 5,000.
To the point of being defensive.
This is Thailand: It is up to you.
Pay whatever you want.
In the end, if you and the boy are happy, that’s all that matters.
tany said:
THB 2000 is the norm for 24hours or ONE DAY? you must be joking,,,,,,,,short term usually refers to no more than 3 hours and that already cost you THB 1500…extra 21 hours would only cost you additional THB 500?? you must wake up from your dream and realize that these boys especially the STRAIGHT ones would rather live at home sucking pussy rather than laying naked on the bed with you and now you are telling us they would not mind spending the day with you for additional THB 500? might as well they finish you off in a jiffy, run back to their bar and score another customer, that’s THB 3000 within less than 5 hours and surely would put a smile on their face……
Bangkokbois said:
Okay Tany, you’ve convinced me.
5,000 baht is too little to pay any guy who’d have to spend 30 minutes with you.
You asked for an opinion, I gave you mine based on experience.
What you evidently really wanted was an argument.
Go post your ‘question’ on one of the gay Thailand message boards, there are plenty who’ll enjoy a protracted slagfest with you there.
bkkguy said:
“You need to realize that these boys work for the money, and especially those who are straight, its not an enjoyment for them and they would want to leave as soon as the service ends.”
Most people I know “work for the money” and I think you and they need to realise that they have chosen to work in a service industry and it is the customer that is paying to enjoy the experience so if they just want to “enjoy” rather than provide good service then they are on the wrong side of the transaction!
and both Jupiter and Tawan are well known for having guys who expect above average tips for little or no service just because they are “stars” – but this is not the industry average
bkkguy
tany said:
now at least someone came out with a reasonable reply….as i said u cant generalize..if you go to certain extablishment you dont expect to pay the standard rates..that’s all i want to point out..im sorry Bangkokbois if i rubbed you the wrong way……
Bangkokbois said:
Tany:
I checked the comments history and you’ve posted here before without becoming troll-like, so I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.
Perhaps, if your point was to discuss Jupiter or Tawan and why some of the guys working there expect high tips you might have opened the conversation with that instead of a general question on bar boy tips.
It still boils down to what I said in reply several times now: it is up to you and if you are satisfied with both the amount you paid and the service you received then all is good with the world.
John said:
Great story and i know just what you mean. I am amazed how some of my Thai friends who could only weigh as much as 55kg can eat so much and stay so slim!
I also like eating from street carts too but I avoid any salads or vegetables as I am never sure whether they are safe to eat as I am quite sure they haven’t been washed in purified water. What would be your advice? Do you eat uncooked foods from street vendors?
Bangkokbois said:
I avoid veggies on general principles John.
🙂
It is considered wise advice to not eat anything that has not been cooked. I have a strong stomach though. I do eat fruit from street carts, but then can’t think of a type that I eat the peel too. One of the carts by the hotel I usually stay at that Noom loves always gives me a cup of . . . maybe cold tea? Whatever it is, they seem to make it there sans fire and I’ve never had a problem though that probably isn’t a real smart move.
Better to be safe than sorry. But if sorry, the local pill shop will have a handful of pills that will put you right again within a day.
tim said:
i had a lovely street meal once .. after 3 days of not leaving the hotel room .. mostly spent in the bath with the shower on … i finally had to get out the room because i had to get the plane home .. i found after another day of no food .. other than biting the corner of a crust on a sarni .. i weighed myself when i got home and found id lost about 21 pounds in 4 days.. my trousers wouldnt stay up … ( most of the holiday was like that but for other reasons 😉 ) anyway if you dont mind feeling sick for a few days its a great way to lose weight.
Bangkokbois said:
Some enterprising tour operator should offer Bangkok Diet trips guaranteed to help you lose 20 lbs. in a week. You’d make a shot load of money.
🙂
tim said:
i think shit load of money would be a far better header .
Bangkokbois said:
I may still use that one.
🙂
Though considering the comments on this one . . .