So you want a friend (or two) to spend some quality time with? Good! ‘Cuz that’s the whole purpose behind the beer bars and go go bars of Bangkok. Gay, straight, or in between, the process of offing a friend described here is the same. And hey . . . you just never know!

So you picked out a bar, got inside, sat down with a drink . . . and there on stage is the lad or lady of your dreams. Now what? Well, unlike the dismal dark nether world feeling of prostitution in the U.S., in Thailand it’s natural and all about having a good time. No one in the bar is going to judge you harshly for being willing to spend a few baht for companionship. In fact they’ll like you for it (Dummy! That’s why they are here!)

A smile, a nod, or if necessary a slight wave of your hand toward you will bring your dream to your side. They will sit down and engage you in conversation:

”What Your Name?”

“Where You From?”

“Where You Stay?”

“How Long You Stay In Bangkok?”

That’s the extent of their English skills in many cases, but your answers gave them all the info they needed on what kinda money is headed their way. Talk a bit more, if possible, buy ‘em a drink . . . it’s not necessary, but polite, and make sure anything you have your heart set on is something they are willing to do.

What? Yep, it’s a bit different attitude here. First off, it’s a trade. You have money, they have a hot body, youth, or whatever it was that attracted you to them. If you both agree to go together it’s more like buying a boyfriend or girlfriend for a period of time than buying a hooker. You are buying their time and companionship, not their body. So they do not have to do anything they don’t want to do.

Some guys don’t buy a drink for the boi (at best they’ll get 20 baht from the sale of the drink) and give him a small tip instead. If after spending sometime together at the bar you decide he really isn’t what you want, you should tip him 100 baht for his time. I should note if the guy approached you on his own and you’ve spent your time with him trying to get him to leave you alone, you are under no obligation to tip him. And quit being so polite, fool!

On the other hand, if he’s just what you were looking for, assuming you are both in agreement, let him know you want to off him (it’s not a hard desire to communicate, trust me) and he will let the mamasan know. Your new friend will go change into street clothes and the mamasan will add an off fee to your bill. Generally this is 300 or 400 baht. The off fee is also called a bar fine, though that term is usually used in the girl bars. It’s the establishment’s cut for your evening out, not the cost of the companionship.

Back to your hotel, off for a bite to eat first, or to dance into the early hours of the morn, however you decide to spend your time, from here on in it’s all at your expense. You may fall in love and want to keep your new friend with you for your entire trip (the off fee needs to be paid for each night you do) or at least through the next day. Whether it is one of these or just for the short time you need to get off, any incidental costs come from your wallet. You may buy him gifts, too; regardless none of these costs are subtracted from the monetary gift due at the end of your time together.

How much do you pay? Less in Pattaya, Chiang Mai, or Phuket (and in that order) than in Bangkok, but depending on the amount of time spent, acts performed, and quality of performance, between 1,500 and 2,500 baht is the norm. Pay at the end of your encounter. Sometimes they’ll check what you gave them, sometimes ask for more, or for cab fare (you need not give either though cab fare is nice), and many times will just take the cash, smile, and wai.

Pretty simple, huh?