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Bangkok Gay Bar

I proudly stole this photo off the 'net 'cuz I was too lazy to dig one out of my files.

With the exception of when a bar closes, or a new one opens, there never really is much of a change in Bangkok’s gay gogo bars. But everyone is always interested in updates. And I’ve never been accused of not be willing to pander to the masses. As much of a chore as the task may be, I’ll force myself to visit each of the gay bars in Bangkok three or four times a year and provide an update for ya’all. Since I’ve just returned home, once again, here’s how things look these days (and sorry: I don’t do maps. But there are plenty available all over the web if you really are in need).

Hot Male: Starting at the mouth of Soi Twilight and working our way down, sorta, the old infamous Twilight, now known as Hot Male starts off our list. At street level there is a beer bar, followed by a steep set of stairs leading up into the club itself. Twilight managed to pack this place by offering a degree of raunch you just couldn’t find elsewhere on the soi. Typically Thai, no reason to not mess with success so under new ownership Hot Male was born and immeditely watered down their offering to the level of the competition.

The mix of guys at this bar run the full gambit. However, even their stars just don’t quite make the grade. So acceptable, but nothing to make your heart soar. Or any other part of your body. They rely on the tried and true show acts: ladyboys, worthlessly choreographed show numbers, and a good deal of naked, hard flesh. I’ve never not seen a Big Cock show at Hot Male. They’ve been running the same fuck act now for about a year: two guys start off and then a third joins and the guy who was on top becomes the bottom. Occasionally, the top who bottoms is a masculine looking guy and it’s a nice switch from seeing the usual twinky fem bottoming at these shows. Drinks and offs are the norm though Hot Male often runs specials dropping both fees below what others on the soi charge. Probably around 40 guys in the stable. The mamasans can be a bit pushy.

This is the place to go after you’ve already hit a few of the other bars in the area and need to see some fresh meat.

Fresh Boys: Kinda across the soi from Hot Male, this has been the home to numerous bars over the years, none of which lasts long. Generally a ho-hum mix of maybe 30 guys packed into a small bar, there’s nothing to see here that you won’t see anywhere else on the soi. I’ve stuck my head into this locale more times than I can remember, but have actually entered I think twice. Drinks and off fees are the usual; the mamasans seem to be as indifferent as the customers so their pushiness level is on the low side.

X Boys: Next to Freshboys, X Boys occasionally becomes the bar of the day, but then always manages to slip back into obscurity. Like it’s neighbor, it’s housed in a building that has seen numerous decent sized bars take up residence for short periods of time. With a stable of maybe 50 guys, they manage to score a few really hot boys in all builds and sizes, so something here to please pretty much everyone’s taste.

They share performers with their sister location across and down the soi, so their show & ladyboy numbers are usually a step above the norm. (Note that the ‘share’ means you’ll catch the exact same act at both bars.) I really could do without ladyboy numbers though to be fare these have provided the most amount of hilarity occasionally, and not intentionally, over the years. Currently the ladyboy roster includes an ancient drag queen, Bangkok’s first ladyboy performer or so I’ve been told, who always gets a warm reception . . . and it’s hard not to appreciate her even if it’s nothing more than a sign of respect for her staying power.

X Boys tries to come up with acts you haven’t seen on the soi before, and their Big Cock parades are, well, quite large. The guy who plays a round of golf with his cock is a must see. This is one of those places that occasionally gets so packed at showtime that you settle up your check bin as you order. Normal prices for drinks and offs, the hottest guys get taken pretty early and the mamasans are fairly low-key.

Boys Bangkok/Dream Boys: Back on the other side of the soi. Since these two bars combine their shows, I’ll follow suit and combine their review. Obviously, they share ownership and management. In the good old days there were enough customers that each of these bars could stand on its own. That no longer being the case, now only one is open at a time with Dream Boys taking precedence. When BB was on it’s own I only visited once – the mamasans were the pushiest bitches I’ve ever encountered. I even resorted to speaking only Spanish making it clear I didn’t speak English, foolishly thinking they’d give up and leave me alone. Nope, the ‘You want boy?” “What boy you want?” litany just got screeched up a few decibels.

Dream Boys started out across Suriwong in the old Barbiery’s building and had a pretty devoted following from the get go. In its current home it proves to be just as popular with a steady stream of customers headed up the stairs to the bar every night. Their shows are top notch (well, comparatively speaking) though they’ve been running some of the same acts for over a decade now. There in-house staff of ladyboys perform the usual numbers and then do one with their cocks hard and on display. I really wish they’d stop that! Their shows always include a number or two with a storyline, usually in Thai, and when the inevitable fuck number rolls around, the bottom sometimes is one of the masculine guys. Whe the show at Dream Boys is done, you’re invited to take your drink downstairs for the show at BB. Same guys. A large portion of the crowd heads back out onto the soi instead.

With probably about 100 boys in their stable, there’s something here for everyone. Dream Boys has always managed to attract some of the better looking guys on the soi, with quite a few having started out at one of the competing bars. This place can get packed. And often is. That they charge the highest price for drinks and offs on the soi and still manage to pack ‘em in attests to this bars lure. That they pack ‘em in AND have extremely pushy mamasans speaks volumes. Offs are pretty frequent here, so if you want the best of the lot you need to get there early. I’ve heard some of the guys demand 3,000 baht for their tip . . . unless that guy is the man of your dreams, do us all a favor and refuse. I have no problem in the boys getting top buck, but really hate to see the loss of the ‘up to you’ mode of negotiations.

X-Size: Sister bar to X Boys, this bar is next to Dream Boys and is also up a flight of stairs. A smaller bar with a stable of between 30 and 60 boys they were really packing the place for a while until their on-site management moved over to Ocean Boys when it opened. X- Size always has had a good complement of boys from twink to beef. They managed to have a large crew, for a small bar, by being the first on the soi to allow their boys to take nights off without being fined (except for the Fri.-Sun. runs).

As I already mentioned, they share their dance numbers and ladyboy numbers with their sister bar. The rest of their show acts change often but for some reason only a small handful of the guys work the show – so you see the same guys over and over. Amazingly they managed to build in a glass shower cubicle above the entrance stairs so this is the last bar on the soi doing the shower numbers. Drink and off fees are the usual; the staff is more friendly than pushy. But the place recently is becoming a hit or miss proposition with some nights being truly a dud.

Ocean Boys: This bar is across from X-Size and next to Dick’s Cafe. Opened in late 2010 in the old Future Boys building, it’s been renovated inside (probably the most comfortable bench seating on the soi) but is being staffed by the old Future Boys crew. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing as Future Boys was once the hot bar on the soi. This is a large bar and the new layout is roomy so you never feel like you are being crammed in like you do at some of the other bars on the soi.

With a stable of about 50 guys in all taste ranges, the majority are all B-list players. Meaning the truly hot guys are few and far between. Friendly place though and not at all pushy. They tend to stay with the tried and true when it comes to the show, so innovation is not a strong point here. But at least you get a steady stream of new faces (like that’s what you’re looking at!) as the show progresses. Drink and off fees are the typical.

Classic Boys: Way down at the end of the soi before it curves out onto the street sits Classic Boys, where it has anchored the run of bars for years. Home of the large water tank for naked swimming boy numbers, in Bangkok’s humidity the water feature just adds to the dank smell and feel of the place. This is twink central, so if you want a bar without any beef, this one is for you.

Classic boys draws few customers, probably due to a combination of its location and offerings. Their stable is maybe 20 guys strong and none of them could ever be considered a hottie. But if the scrawny street urchin look is what you like, you’ll love Classic Boys. The shows are short and pretty uninspired, though they do make use of the water tank so there’s that for novelty. Mamasans are not at all pushy, and the drinks and off fees match those of the other bars on the soi.

Jupiter: Off a small soi off Suriwong, Jupiter has been around for a while now and has a reputation for handsome guys with model looks. The guys also have a reputation for being duds, wanting top dollar, and wanting short offs. Most touri I know go to this bar for the show, not for a date for the night. And the show is well worth the visit.

Undoubtedly the best choreographed, and scoring points for originality too, Jupiter puts a show on that is more cabaret than fuck show. In fact you won’t see any fucking here at all. Most of the numbers have little full nudity. But then the ‘tease’ is part of the draw. With a stable of about 80 guys, there is a good rotation throughout the evening so you never get bored with who’s on stage. The show is entertaining and timed well so that just about the time you think about heading elsewhere to see some real flesh, the glimpses of hard cock begin.

Always worth a visit for the entertainment value, sometimes the mamasans are pushy, sometimes they are not. And I’ve never been able to figure out why. Drinks are 270 baht and off fees are the same as on Soi Twilight.

Screw Boys: This bar is located along Suriwong in Patpong. It’s been around forever. I’m never sure whether to drop in here or not. Sometimes the place only has a small number of mostly twinky guys and other times it has a large number of guys, twink to beef. About the only thing you can rely on here is that it will be raunchier than the Soi Twilight bars. And that it is open after the other bars have closed.

I think that adds to the level of desperation. Added to the raunch, the guys are more pushy than the mamasans. They’ll swoop on you when you enter giving you the feeling its you, not them, that is the beef on parade. But if you are looking for a taste of sleaze, this place will please. Drinks and off fees are the usual. But does anyone actually ever off any of these guys?

Tawan: Further down Suriwong, on the soi of the same name (across from the Tawana Hotel) Tawan is the muscle worshipers heaven. Beefy, bulked up guys are what’s offered and if you are not into muscles you need not visit Tawan. With a stable of about 40 guys, this place is and always has been popular. So especially on weekends you need to get here early for both top offs and a decent seat.

I’m always happy when Tawan’s show doesn’t include ladyboy acts, but those bitches pop up far too often. The rest of the show acts are all about displaying the guys’ bodies . . . and fortunately their cocks, too. Many of the numbers have a S&M ambiance (though I think the guys don’t realize that . . . they just look good in leather). For the last few years many of the performers wear masks during the routines. Hate that. And since their bodies and tats are all so distinct it’s not like you don’t know who is who. Lots of sucking and fucking, most nights the show ends with five or six guys holding a jack off contest on stage.

Tawan guys have a reputation of charging the most for offering the least. But in my experience that isn’t true. I’ve touched on the whys for this in a separate post. The bar’s drink costs match Soi Twilight, though the off fee goes up to 500 quite often. The mamasans – well here they are more waiters than mamasans as the boys all seem quite capable of looking after themselves. You’ll get approached here, meaning the guys will come up to you. But it never seems pushy and they’ll happily move along of you tell them you are not interested. What I like about the guys at Tawan is that (well, besides the muscle) they come across as normal, friendly guys. I’ve never felt pressured here and have spent as much time just chatting guys up as I have on taking them off. And it’s all good.

The Rest of The Lot: I know, that I’m just gonna throw the rest of these bars in together will be a disappointment to some, but the small scattering of other bars in the area of Tawan are all pretty ,much the same. Tiny. Small number of guys. And total sleaze. Not that there is anything wrong with that. For some touri, this is the type of bar they want and the Soi Twilight places have no appeal. What you get here is a very intimate setting, little or no shows, but the opportunity of, well, pretty much anything goes. Forget the touching, you wanna suck a guy off in the middle of the bar? No problemo. Not my scene and the guys are all C list, but if you are looking for more cum than come on, these places are for you. They are Nature Boys, Golden Cock, Solid, Super something . . . never sure which are which, which are open and which are closed, but if this is what you are looking for, just stroll down the soi and you’ll find your night in heaven. Drinks at these spots run in the 100 – 150 baht range and offs are 300 baht.

*Bars in outlying areas are usually geared more toward the locals and as such I won’t be including them in my reviews.

**As of January 2011, typical drink charges at the bars are now 250 baht. The off fee charged by most bars is 400 baht. 

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