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So in The Netherlands they celebrate the Christmas season with racism, in Italy they pay homage to an old crone who is probably a child abductor, and in Mexico it’s a historical reference to today’s celebrated drug runners that makes the season bright. You may be thinking it’s not so much beginning to look a lot like Christmas, as it is beginning to look like Tim Burton’s smouldering dark recesses of yuletide, The Nightmare Before Christmas, is one of the few holiday tales suitable for children under the age of eight. But that’s because you haven’t yet heard about the satyr like cloven hoofed creature they use to scare naughty kids with in parts of Italy, Germany and Austria. Not to mention being celebrated with much gusto by drag queens in Michigan.
According to folklore in those corners of the world, the ying to Santa’s yang is Krampus. He’s Santa’s drinking buddy and the guy who does the dirty work that the jolly old elf isn’t man enough to do himself. No problemo when your holiday myth says Santa leaves a lump of coal in the naughty kids’ stockings. But when your seasonal tale calls for beatings and trucking the worst of the lot off in a basket for a fitting end in the nearest river, then it’s a case of Chris Cringel and the saintly poofter in red calls in his henchman instead. Because nothing says Merry Christmas like beating your kids into submission.
Known by many names across the European continent – Knecht Ruprecht, Certa, Perchten, Black Peter, Schmutzli, Pelznickel, and Klaubauf, Krampus is the original Grinch who stole Christmas. More Satan than Santa he is usually seen as a classic devil with horns, cloven hooves, and a monstrous tongue, but also appears as a sinister gentleman dressed in black, or a hairy man-beast. He’d fit right in in Pattaya and not even be noticed, but in the Alpine regions of Europe the old goat scares the beejesus outta the little ones. Forget the carrot of a stocking filled with toys for being nice, Krampus is all about the stick. Which he uses willingly. As he does his whip. Leave it to the Germans to put the SM back in Christmas.
Krampus has roots in pre-Christian Germanic traditions. The early Catholic Church tried to stamp him out, but the locals loved the little devil and paired him up with St. Nick for their Christian winter celebration. But his popularity outshines the saint and on the eve of the Feast of St. Nicholas (December 5th) the hairy devil appears on the streets and begins his annual treat of terrorizing the kiddies. Mentally abused for years by this holiday tradition, as young adults the once screaming children get payback, Krampus Night or Krampusnacht, is the local’s version of Spring Break. Revelers dress up like Krampus for a rambunctious night fueled by schnapps, the preferred drink of Krampuses the world over. If you’ve ever visited Rush Street in Chicago, then you know just how terrorizing a street full of drunken twenty-somethings can be.
The tradition of Krampus night has slowly spread across the pond and there are now several festivals celebrating the great cloven hoof one. One of the largest is held in Ypsilanti, Michigan where the crowds of inebriated party-goers start their serious night of drinking at Woodruff’s where they find themselves bopping to the “Elbow Deep” drag queen show, Ypsilanti’s longest running drag revue. And if you don’t think a stage full of drunk drag queens is enough to scare children into behaving, then you probably still believe in Santa Claus.
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Patrick said:
Greetings!
I don’t know your name or who you are but I stumbled upon your blog and I’m totally addicted. I never read blogs btw. My name is Patrick I’m 33 from Chicago and have been to Thailand once when I was 29. I have a strange attraction to the place but not sure why. This attraction leads me to scour the internet for Thai related things, mostly cooking videos on YouTube, I’m mastering all the basics. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I’m engrossed in your stories and I’ve spent the better part of an entire morning reading them. I need to pull myself away now and get some work done but I will be back soon I’m sure. Keep up the great stories. Also can you tell me a little bit about yourself? All I can gather from your writing is that you must be older then 30 (since you’ve been traveling to Thailand for 30 years) I’m pretty sure you’re white (there was a picture of your knee with a tiger) and you are into Asian guys. I’m not at all I like beefy white guys or I’m sure I’d have moved to Thailand long ago unfortunately the place isn’t exactly crawling with gay white scruffy rugby players LOL. Hope to hear back. -Patrick
Bangkokbois said:
Thanks Patrick!
Apologies for your new addiction, but I’m glad you have been enjoying my blog. There’s more info about me on the About page, and there’s a link elsewhere that will take you to where every detail about me you could ever wonder about can be found. Hunting that stuff down is half the fun. Though probably not the good half. There’s also a picture of me posted here – more than my knee (and now I have to go back and look at the tiger shot to check out my knee).
It’s a pleasure to hear from someone who fell in love with Thailand and not because of the guys. I too became addicted to the country long before I ever set foot in a gogo bar. I still feel those who only travel there for the naughty entertainment are missing out. BTW, you may want to consider a trip to Patong Beach in Phuket if you are into hunky white guys – tons of Aussie guys there and even if they are straight most get so drunk you’d have your choice.
In any case, it’s been almost 5 years – time you got your ass back over there!
Patrick said:
Thanks for the response. I admit I’m super lazy about searching through for info I tend to just ask. Furthermore, despite my masters in computer science I could never really get the hang of the workings of these social sites. I’ll go a digging. Lastly, my evening plans got canceled so guess who is glued to the couch with my laptop escaping back into your stories…. Your writing is really superb. This is, so far, one sentence that I found hilarious and brilliant. “I have no doubt a whole slew of them knew about her death before it sunk into the languorous haze that passes for consciousness when I’m on holiday in Bangkok”. Keep ’em coming. -Patrick
Bangkokbois said:
Wow. The King’s sister’s death. That’s an old one! Nice to know someone is still reading those.
Thanks for the compliment, I appreciate hearing your comments.
Wen Johnson said:
Like limiting myself to eating a box of See’s chocolates only one or two at a time to savor each wonderful yet individual flavor, I have just tonight finished off reading the last two of the 85 posts you call “I fell in love with a bar boy”! I am pleased that for soooo many days I was able to resist “eating off the whole box” at one sitting, although the temptation was there as there were many posts I wanted to add comments on! Now that I have caught up I can feel free to let you know how fantastic this blog site is as I read along.
And I DID take some monk photos while in BKK last month (doors didn’t do so well) but not sure how to share them with you.
Bangkokbois said:
Monk Shots!
I knew Santa wouldn’t forget me!
🙂
I wish that WordPress provided a way to load pix in the comments; they don’t and even I can’t upload an image into that area of my blog.
Anyone who wishes to share pix who does not already use one of the free photo uploading sites can post a comment on any article and I’ll drop you an email – you can use that email address to send one in then.
I know it’d be easier if I posted an email address on my blog, but I care about me more than I do you and really don’t want to spend time sifting through spam daily. I already have email addresses that Facebook keeps sending messages to asking if I know a whole bunch of people I’ve never heard of.
I’m glad to hear you’ve been enjoying my posts about Noom Wen. And love your box full of chocolates analogy. I occasionally go back and read through some of them and a few I’m not all that happy with, just like the occasional piece of chocolate you take a bite out of and then slip back into the box. Ah well, at least I manage to catch typos that way!
tim said:
god help me ….. dont feed the trolls … how do you know hes a troll .. i know you is over 30 because you been going to thailand for 30 years …. lordy muma merryXMAS
tim said:
o i missed the last line …… but you still fed him
Bangkokbois said:
I dunno Tim, I think you been hanging around the Pattaya hydras on line a bit too much, you’re seeing trolls around every corner!
tim said:
maybe .. mind you i was totally pissed when i typed that … i really should stop going online when im drunk .. i always get in trouble 🙂
Bangkokbois said:
Huh. I woulda never guessed.
🙂