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Black Friday

With all the hype that surrounds it, even those of you outside of the U.S. have got to know that today is Black Friday. It’s an American holiday during which we celebrate the gods of consumerism and violence, the two things my country still ranks as #1 in.

You’d think that is the reason for it’s name, but that moniker actually stems from the fact that most retailers operate at a loss during the majority of the year, and the profits kick in during the Christmas holiday season. Which starts the day after Thanksgiving. That influx of cash pushes business into the black, hence Black Friday.

For about the last decade, stores and the media have joined forces to add an especially festive note to what was once one of the busiest shopping day of the year. Their efforts pushed the date into the top spot. Staring early in the morning – in some cases as early as 4AM – those with more credit cards than brains head out for a day of swooping up special deals offered by large retailers in an effort to draw customers into their stores. DVD players for $25, Flat screen TV’s for $100 . . . the ‘too good to be true’ promotions entice the unwary into making the early morning trek. The upshot to those is deals is that there are only limited amounts of the special sale merchandise available, so shoppers need to be one of the first into the store to score the cheap booty. Which being America means major fights of riot proportions. Yup, we do greed better than any other place on Earth.

The date has become so popular, and anticipation over hot deals so great, that the retailers themselves are quickly turning Black Friday into a paler shade of grey. This year Walmart is starting their festivities at 10:00 PM on Thanksgiving. And every single person who shows up deserves to be there. Other big box retailers have already started their steep discount sales advertising that there is no longer a need to wait for Black Friday to buy all the things you really can’t afford.

Most Americans have the day off from work. With Thanksgiving (a national holiday) falling the day before, business just shut their doors rather than drag stuffed employees back to the grindstone for a single day. Retail employees are not so lucky. They instead get to start their day of work in the dark early hours of morning. But then anyone stupid enough to work retail has that coming to them. If nothing else, it gives store employees an excuse for the surly attitude that they’ll display throughout the holiday shopping season.

The more sane folk avoid getting anywhere near any sort of retail operation for the day. Staying home snuggled up by the fire and pigging out on leftover turkey sandwiches is a much better use of time. In honor of those homebodies, I give to you my salute to Black Friday:

black friday

black friday

black friday

black friday

black friday

black friday