When I lived in Hawaii, I had a fuck buddy, a little local boy of Okinawan decent, who was cute as all hell. Totally uninhibited in private, he was scared to death of being seen in public alone with another guy. The idea that his family would find out he was gay petrified him. Ours was a great relationship, one based purely on hook-ups for sex. None of which has anything to do with this story. But it was a nice little trip down memory lane for me, so thanks.

What does have to do with this story is his wallet. It was humongous. Massive. He stored his entire life in it. And kept it in the front pocket of his pants. Not to provide an eye catching bulge, its edges were to well defined to fool anyone for that purpose. I’m not really sure why he stored it up front, though now that I think about it, sitting on that sucker could not have been comfortable.

Most guys, however, don’t treat their wallets like a purse. Even so, they do tend to carry around a lot more crap than necessary. I guess it’s a guy thing. Personally, if I could get away without carrying a wallet, I would. And do whenever I can manage.

During the first extended off with my friend Nut who used to work at Tawan, for some reason he pulled his wallet out. That’s not something you’ll see a Thai bar boy do often, unless you just handed him a wad of baht to stick in it. Nut’s wallet’s compartment for bills was stuffed full of fake baht, advertising for one of the sleaze bars further down the soi. He was still new to Bangkok then, still new to the business, still new to body building, and didn’t have much cash to carry around. But it was important to him to have his wallet filled. Cute.

The last time I visited with Nut we went out to dinner. It wasn’t an off or bar date, our friendship had by then grown beyond that. I was touched at the end of the meal when he decided to pick up the check. I only argued about it enough to be polite; it was important for him to be able to do so. And I wasn’t surprised, as he’d become one of the bar’s stars by then, that the fake baht in his wallet had been replaced with a nice wad of real money.

I’ve watched Noom, my bar boy friend and current love of my life, and his wallet grow over the years I’ve known him too. Maybe it’s anticipation or a form of positive thinking, but it seems at least once a year when I’m with him we end up buying him a new wallet. I could define the years we’ve spent together by the wallet he’s totting. And like so many guys I’ve known in the past, even back when he had little to put in it, his wallet has always been a massive affair, stuffed full of . . . I haven’t a clue. It seems I’m attracted to men with a large bulge. And that’s about being a size queen of a different sort.

When I first met Noom he had a well worn tri-fold wallet of some man-made material with a velcro closure. He really needed a new one and at my suggestion picked one out at a vendor’s stall at a night market. You’d think at 99 baht, that selection would have been a simple one, but he took close to an hour considering the pluses and minuses of each wallet the vendor had on display. When we got back to the hotel – after stripping off his clothes, one of the first things he always does upon returning to our hotel – he sat down on the bed and transferred all the stuff from his old wallet to his new one.

The only thing in his wallet of any use was his ID. Everything else was filler. He had several fake cardboard credit cards, a handful of business cards that probably had not been looked at since he’d slipped them inside of his wallet, and even a few of the fake sleaze bar baht notes that Nut had filled his wallet with. He pulled the manufacturer’s card out of his new wallet, looked it over, and then slipped it into its new slot, obviously another keeper. Of course there was no actual money to transfer out of his old wallet into his new one, so I gave him 100 baht. As important as it was to have stuff in his wallet, that bill left its new home bright and early the next day.

Noom’s finances have improved since then. And instead of his wallet growing fatter, it’s actually slimmed down. Nowadays he has cash and some real plastic to fill his wallet with so the fake stuff and advertisements are no longer required.

I gave Noom his first credit card. It was a momentous occasion. Chill. It was a loadable pre-paid Visa card, with no cash on it. He made the same erroneous assumption when I handed it to him. But was just as happy (well, almost) once I’d explained it wasn’t usable yet. The idea was that if he got in a fix and needed cash, he could email me and I could put money on the card to help him out. It never did get used. But was given a primo spot in his wallet so that when he opened it anyone looking would see that he had a Visa card.

We followed that up with a bank account and an ATM card of his own. His idea, he waited until I got into town so that I could go to the bank with him and help him open the account. My advice, or presence, was all that was required. The money was all his. He was quite proud of having a bank account, and thrilled to have an ATM card. Which, of course required getting him a new wallet again, too. Noom was jazzed about having not one but two plastic cards to flash, and made sure to try them out in each of the wallets he was considering so that the vendor selling them wouldn’t miss that fact. Status is big among Thais, no matter how it is achieved. I’m sure that also had a lot to do with the fact that for the rest of that trip we could hardly walk past an ATM without Noom having to stop and check his balance. It never changed. But having others see him working the ATM machine was important to him.

Noom likes smelly stuff almost as much as he likes having a filled wallet. I do too, but that has more to do with the fun of applying oils and creams to Noom’s body than the actual smell. Sometime during each trip I make to Thailand, we hit a Thanon booth at one of the malls and load up on product. Noom carries a reward card that he makes sure gets properly noted with every purchase we make. On one trip I bought a bottle of their shower cream that I like (to use on Noom) before I hooked up with him. He was upset that I’d made a purchase without getting credit on his reward card. I’d thought of that at the time I bought the stuff and asked the sales clerk what the rewards card got you. 10% off after spending $500. Hardly worth carrying another piece of paper around in your wallet, but I didn’t have the heart to tell Noom the big payout he is expecting is nothing more than a small discount if I empty my wallet further.

I’ve bought enough wallets for Noom over the years to have an idea of the style he likes. I bought him a new one, a pricey leather wallet, before my last trip and gave it to him, sans plastic or baht. My boy has grown up. He’s almost down to just carrying things of real value in his wallet these days. He has two bank accounts and two ATM cards now. And often switches money from one to another for no other reason than to play with the ATM. So he hasn’t grown up all that much.

Being a typical guy, I detest coins. Being a typical Thai, Noom loves baht. So from day #1, whenever we are together and I get coins as change I immediately pass them over to him. Those used to be stored away in his wallet, which added considerably to its bulk. Now they don’t even make it into one of his pockets. He holds them in his hand until the first beggar he sees, and then regardless of the value he drops his handful of coins into the beggar’s cup. To Buddhists, giving money to the needy is a way to gain merit. Getting rid of useless coins is a nice side benefit.

Noom liked the new wallet I gave him. That it came in a box seemed to increase its worth greatly. It’s only a double fold, not very big, and doesn’t even have a pocket for coins. It would have been too small and totally unsuitable back when he had nothing of value to carry in his wallet. Now it’s just right and even has a few empty slots for plastic he obtains in the future. He does have a small wad of cards held together with a rubber band that are useless and now stored away, mostly business cards he’s picked up that didn’t get thrown away during the last wallet cleaning. His original Visa card that I gave him, long expired, has a place of honor in that pile too. Noom asks for a new business card from me on each visit, and unless the design has changed, throws out the old one once he has a newer one to replace it with.

As he sat naked on the bed, transferring his wallet contents into the new one, carefully positioning each card before trying a new arrangement again, I reminded him of the wallet he had years ago. “When I first met you,” I said, “Your wallet was filled with fake baht from Nature Boy.”

Noom laughed, remembering the days when he was broke. And then dug deep into a back compartment of his wallet and pulled out, then unfolded, one of those fake baht notes to show me. He still carried one for old times sake. Some guys use their wallets as a scrapbook, a disorganized journal of the important moments in their lives. And I’m glad that I have a place in Noom’s.

>>> Next ‘I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy’ Post

<<< Previous 'I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy' Post

Related Posts You Might Enjoy: