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Recently a reader commented on a link I’d provided to Guttersnipe Das’ blog and quoted a small portion of one his posts:
“Among all of us who condemn them, I would like to call a meeting. I am calling for a meeting and asking for volunteers. Since buying sex is wrong, I would like to see a show of hands–
Who is willing to love them for free?
Who’ll volunteer? To love for free?
Will you?”
That and a recent post on one of the message boards bitching about the cost of a night out in Thailand (again), reminded me that I had this photo tucked away:
So pop that old shoe on the other foot and riddle me this: How much would you charge?
Uh, huh. That’s what I thought.
End of argument.
Tyler said:
That is disgusting!
I am still laughing.
Point well made.
dropdeadguys said:
Yeah Tyler, but what is not funny is that is exactly what bar boys have to deal witth!
John said:
After seeing that photo, I think what I’d charge would pay off my mortgage.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with paying for sex. When both parties understand the terms of the transaction, and — this is important — can accept its inherent limitations, it’s really not much different than getting any other personal service. Think massages, pedicures, or physical therapy. The only reason so many condemn it is because we have hangups about sex. (I’m not talking here about coerced prostitution, mind you.)
I’m a middle-aged guy, and I’m still in very good shape, so I can get sex for free. At least for now. But there will come a time when my looks will be such that no one I actually desire will desire me. When I reach that point, I certainly hope I am financially secure enough that I can afford some paid companionship. I am quite sure I’ll be glad to shell out a few bucks for the privilege of touching some young muscleman’s hot, firm body. And if he needs the money, then both of us will come out of the deal having gotten what we wanted.
dropdeadguys said:
Forgetting our buddy Frank there for a minute, if that is at all possible, you hit it exactly right John. And that’s a very Thai way of looking at the situation. Both parties have something to offer the other needs. As long as both sides are fair and treat each other with respect, it’s all good.
At home I date instead of hiring a bar boy. I don’t pay my date, but being older and better off I pick up the bill for our night out. And that almost always is more than I’d pay a guy in Thailand.
I just don’t get the guys that go there and then try and be cheap. Or bitch about what it costs them. But then with that attitude, it’s no wonder they are seldom happy with their night out.
John said:
I date too, but in some ways an encounter with a bar boi would be more honest than most dates. With a paid companion, each party knows exactly what it is he hopes to get out of the evening. Unless one or both parties is a fool, no one is under any illusions about what’s going on. In the final analysis, money will be exchanged for a period of physical intimacy. No such clarity is present on most of my dates. It’s not clear who wants what, and there’s always a great deal of posturing and game playing.
I’ve occasionally paid escorts here in the U.S. Those experiences have been almost uniformly positive. And expensive. You’re lucky to get away for a mere $200. So I really find it hard to believe that anyone — at least any American — would begrudge the 2,000 THB (or so) it would cost to spend a few hours with some hot guy from Tawan. My on line currency converter says that works out to $65.20. As they say, it’s a small price to pay. Personally, I’d pay it gladly.
dropdeadguys said:
Well put John.
It’s just as easy to hook up with a guy in Thailand thanks to on-line dating sites. But then you never really know what you are going to get. Or if you really will get anything at all. The gogo bar scene offers an alternative that removes any doubt for a fairly low price.
John said:
Honestly, I’m not planning on flying all the way to Thailand just so that I can put up with the same on-line dating games I can experience right here in the comfort of my own home. At least here, there’s no language barrier. If I met an attractive guy in Thailand who wanted to have sex with me with no money involved, I’d certainly be up for it. But I’m candid enough to admit that, once I get to Thailand, I have every intention of sampling what Bangkok has to offer.
I obviously have nothing against having sex for free with someone when there’s a mutual attraction. However, the fact of the matter is that at 50, I’m no longer as able to attract the kind of guys I find really attractive. Don’t get me wrong. I still look good. No one believes me when I tell them my age. Like a good gay man, I work out diligently. I have muscles and a completely flat stomach. You can kind of see my abs. I avoid the sun, and so my pasty face is free of lines. Still, the compliments I get now are almost all of the “you look amazing for your age” variety.
So I’m not going to kid myself. If I want to have the experience of bedding some hot, young, Thai musclestud, I’m almost certainly going to have to pay for it. And you know what? That’s fine by me. Anyone who wants to give me shit for that is free to do so . . . AFTER they’ve answered Guttersnipe Das’s question — Who is willing to love me for free? Who’ll volunteer? To love for free?
I strongly suspect that those who will raise their hands and volunteer aren’t going to look anywhere near as good as Noom or the guys at Tawan. Thus I plan on stimulating the Thai economy in my own small way. Besides, I’d be a fool to pass up that kind of bargain.
dropdeadguys said:
50 is the new 40. That’s cool except all the hot young guys looking for a ‘daddy’ now don’t want to hear from you unless you’re at least 60. Ah, well. Guess that’s something to still look forward to. But I did finally figure out how to quit hearing that “you look amazing for your age” crap: now I tell people I’m 73. Their jaw drops and they don’t know what to say.
When in Thailand, for me, I hit the bars rather than a hook up site because no matter how long I’m there for, time is still too short. I can go to a bar or two, check out a few dozen guys or more, find one that makes me drool, and I’m good to go. Internet hook-ups mean wasting time in my hotel room ploughing through a few hundred profiles, making contact, chatting for a bit to see if he’s even worth meeting, setting up a meeting place . . . . who’s time for all that?
Not to mention – though you did – there are much hotter guys on stage than you’ll find on-line.
John, I think you’d probably luck out in Thailand even if you passed on the bars. But it’s good you are keeping an open mind and planning on sampling everything Thailand has to offer. You’re gonna have a great time . . .