Don’t ya just love companion posts? This one should uh, flesh out, the post I did yesterday about straight guys drooling over large peni. Though I suspect that it will be of even greater length. According to the world’s authoritative source on all matters, that bastion of fact, the internet, there are several well known men known well for being well hung.

While in most cases it is difficult to determine how male celebrities measure up, in some, you can judge for yourself. The Russian mystic Rasputin is not someone who immediately comes to mind when you mention the word celebrity, but may when the subject is large dicks of historical proportions. His disembodied penis is on display at the Russian Museum of Erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar. His poundage weighs in at over 11 inches and may well explain his enormous influence over the Russian court.

On the other hand, that the notorious gangster John Dillinger’s prodigious member is likewise floating in a jar, this time at the Smithsonian, is a oft repeated rumor than just isn’t true. J. Edgar may have wanted Dillinger’s dick, but stuffed into a mason jar is probably not what he had in mind. Word is Dillinger was huge, but there is no proof still in existence.

The fate of Napoleon’s manhood is not as clear. The jury is still out on this one, but John K. Lattimer, professor emeritus and former chairman of urology at the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, paid $3,000 to a Paris auction house in 1977 for what is purportedly the diminutive emperor’s diminutive member described by one person who viewed the relic as being one inch long and resembling a grape. But that’s more about a missing member than a humongous one.

Equally old news about old guys of legendary proportions claims that Milton Berle was a man among men. Berle used to gleefully tell the story of how he was once confronted by a guy in a steam bath locker room who believed his was the bigger schlong. He tried to goad Uncle Miltie into a bet. After a few minutes of pestering, Berle’s friend, who was in the room, too, said “Go ahead, Milton, just take out enough to win.” Even in death the bigger part of him got top billing. During a memorial service, a comedian friend of Berle’s announced, “On May 1 and May 2, his penis will be buried.”

Evidently, the legendary crooner Frank Sinatra was also a legend of legendary size. Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, “He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock.” And that President Johnson decided to invade most of SE Asia should have come as no surprise as word has it that he invaded any room he walked into, thanks to his presidential package which he nicknamed Jumbo. It’s that Texas thing.

But then, regardless of size, no one is really that interested in famous dick that only appeared in black and white. More recently several Hollywood heartthrobs have built a reputation for throbbing large. Liam Neeson has “the biggest penis of any man alive,” according to ex-girlfriend Janice Dickinson who recalled the first time she met his not so little buddy, “He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out.” No word from Janice about whether it quenched her thirst or not.

And according to Dame Judi Dench, 007 Daniel Craig is more of an 015, packing away more of an alien than a cowboy. Dame Judi say’s of Craig’s spy who loved me, “It’s an absolute monster!”

Soon to be joining the ranks of hot movie vampires, the ever adorable Colin Farrell raised quite a few eyebrows over a nude scene, that unfortunately got circumcised, in the movie A Home at the End of the World when he displayed his Irish charms which lucky crew members described as looking like a baby’s arm. That scene got snipped because it excited female viewers too much during test screenings. His dong was captured on film again for Alexander, and though it made the grade, it again failed to make an appearance in the final cut. Any of them. So far. It was a decision that Farrell said made sense: “It’s a beautiful, gentle moment, and a fucking large cock with huge balls is just fucking jarring.” Nice to know that his talents are well balanced though.

James Woods is a talented actor but not one you’d call a heartthrob. But is, according to rumors, big business. Word of his sizeable talent is well known in Tinseltown and he often jokes about the size of his stardom. His best was a response to a rumor that a former lover super-glued his penis to his leg. “Well, actually, it was to my ankle,” he said.

I never understood the draw comedic actor Owen Wilson seems to have in Hollywood, though maybe that he’s called the Butterscotch Stallion might explain his appeal. But then if size was the only thing that mattered in Hollywood, relative newcomer/never quite caught on Brandon Routh would be a much bigger star, because big appears to be an apt adjective for the boy’s super hero. When he landed the role of Superman, skeptics worried he may not be able to fill Christopher Reeves’s tights. Turns out Routh filled them out a little too well. Film execs had to downplay Routh’s man of steel so as not to frighten little kids in the audience. Says a source, “It was a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well-endowed and they didn’t want it up on the big screen. They had to erase his package with digital effects.” Ouch!

Straddling the line between the acting and music worlds, but being a bit too well endowed for that to be a literal act, for the record, Mark Wahlberg admits that he’s not packing the disco ball his Boogie Nights character, Dirk Diggler, was. But did think highly enough of his life-sized friend to dedicate his autobiography—Marky Mark—to his dick. He modestly claims to be of “decent size,” but can never measure up against his character’s leading man “It’s a bit embarrassing when I go into a locker room or take a pee in a bar because guys try to check me out. That’s always weird,” says Wahlberg. Interestingly, Wahlberg beat out Leonardo DiCaprio for the Diggler role after proving that “he had an inch on Leonardo.” Yeah, Leo, ‘King of the World.’ In your dreams.

Music world hip hop artist Jay-Z is packing some real heat if an ex of his is to believed. She says Jay-Z has “The biggest dick you will ever see in your life. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It’s beyond huge. It could block the sun.” While Red Hot Chili Peppers front man Anthony Keides is not only the proud owner of a “very large” penis according to groupies, but one that is “beyond gorgeous.” And everyone knows that drummer Tommy Lee true claim to fame is all about length, not that he got try it out for size on his ex, Pamela Anderson.

Of course all men are not created equal and some really got the short end of the stick. An honorable mention goes out to Enrique Iglesia , mostly because his buddy gets mentioned so often. By him. Enrique doesn’t claim to be a huge star but rather the owner of “The smallest penis in the world.” But then one look and a big sigh at Enrique and you know the gods built that boy to bottom. Enrique says, “I’d change my penis if I could. It’s way, way, way too small.” Seems he’s counting the ways and there is a hell of a lot of them. “The next product I’m gonna put my name on is extra-small condoms,” He says about not being up to snuff. “ I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it’s really embarrassing for people – you know, from experience.”

And though he has not fessed up to his short comings, former model turned actor turned producer turned boy toy, Ashton Kutcher is rumored to be more in line for playing the part of the half than either of the two men. Former girlfriend actress Brittany Murphy had some catty remarks to be made on the David Letterman Show regarding Ashton’s marriage to his grandmother, Demi Moore. “I suppose the crux of their relationship basically means to him that age doesn’t matter and to her that size doesn’t matter,” she mused.

Final mention and appropriate sympathy goes out to Eminem who has to battle the dual stigma of being a white boy in the world of rap and having to measure up sporting a white boy’s boy in a world of black men’s men. Listing the features he’s least proud of during an interview in New York City, he said, “ My nose is crooked. Um … my penis is small.”

His wife agreed, saying, “He’s not very well endowed.” Seems his Mini-Me is not only an underachiever, but needs a little help from a friend in order to stand tall. The former Mrs. M, with a record of 2-0, warned future dates, “If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.”

Word.