Sometimes it’s about where you stay, others about who you stay with.
In case you missed it, there’s a young(ish) Canadian sexpat offering his master bedroom to travelers visiting Khon Kaen. Snagging a booking may be a bit difficult as he has a perfect record of setting up rendezvous with fellow travelers and then failing to show. But the room comes with amenities, including overflowing ashtrays, dog hair, and an incredible assortment of creepy-crawlies. And there is no joiner fee as he has a strict policy against joiners. On the plus side, for a limited time only visitors can help him learn how to use Grindr, ‘cuz his career writing computer code hasn’t prepared him to master the simple task of working a phone app on his own.
While travelers visiting Khon Kaen may have few places of accommodations to choose from, Bangkok and Pattaya offer a smorgasbord of hotels, motels, love rooms, and hostels for every budget and every taste. But some visitors want more. They want to not only book a room, but book a friend for life too. And there is no better way of doing that than staying in some stranger’s house. ‘Cuz if you can land a boyfriend in Thailand by opening your wallet, just think of the friends you can make by paying them to host your visit to their country.
Thanks to Mister BNB you too can now pass on those antiseptic lodgings offered by greedy corporations like Marriott, Hyatt, and Starwood, and instead book your room with a friendly gay Donald Trump wannabe. Sure, their website is a bit difficult to navigate and appears to be developed by a computer-coding Canadian sexpat who can’t figure out how to use Grindr, but that’s just part of the experience. So while it may take you a few dozen clicks to sort through the mess, once you do you’ll not only find photos of the places people want to rent in their homes in Thailand, but profile photos of who you’ll be staying with too. So who needs Grindr?
Here are a few of the wonderful gay hosts just waiting to book you in Bangkok and Pattaya:
Where Sleeping Dogs Lie
Why make that long trek to Khon Kaen when you can lie down with the dogs in Bangkok? Brian, who from his profile photo looks like he’s found more than one way to make a few spare bucks, has a simple room in a row house just a 15 minute walk through a Thai/Chinese neighborhood to the closest BTS station for a mere $50 per night. And you’ll probably want to spend those 15 minutes walking the house’s dog to avoid any unpleasantness when walking through your accommodations barefoot.
A Night With Angry Lesbians
Nam is a 43-year-old single English speaking Bangkokian who offers room in his 2 Bedroom apartment for just $82 per night. He doesn’t offer much in the way of details about his rental, but does provide lots of photos, all of which highlight his choice of angry lesbian decor. If you’ve ever wondered about those travelers who claim where you stay isn’t that important ‘cuz you spend so little time there anyway, a night at Nam’s should clarify that sentiment. Or just scare the bejesus out of you.
When Dead Animals Make you Blue
Mickael too has opted to go with the Horror Tourism route, offering his aptly named ‘Blue Room’ on Sukhumvit Soi 26 at a terrifying rate of $190 per night. The room comes with its own bathroom, and a private balcony which you may find a new use for after spending a night trying to not walk on the dead animal pelts used as carpeting. Mickael too has a bit of a sinister look about him, which becomes even a bit more worrisome when he describes that balcony’s location as “a single throw from transport.” But if you haven’t worked up the balls for a visit to Bar Bar, Bangkok’s #1 SM club, I get the felling Mickael will only be too happy to show you the sights.
Boot Camp For Your Booty
Angkrit is a 35-year-old Thai world traveler who has decorated his abode with buys he made at flea markets in Europe and the UK, which must feature lots of military surplus. Located in the Silom area, within walking distance to the night market and Silom Soi 2 and 4, he, an expat, and a pink traveler offer comfy bunk beds for $11 per night in his “homely gay friendly house.” He says he “enjoys hosting people, enjoys food and making them, bakery and baking them, people and meeting them.” So he may be a friend of Mickael’s. But at $11 a night, who cares?
Nothing Says Home Or Harem Like Mosquito Netting
“A true Budweiser, an original Bohemian and a confirmed Bunburyist!” who “loves Stephen Fry, adores Edina & Patsy, and no one makes me laugh like Miranda does!” Farouk is a 36-year-old “Czech Egyption Expat” who has a private and spacious master bedroom for rent at $33 per night in a duplex that belongs to his business partner. Located in the heart of Bangkok´s Central Business District, the room comes with its own bathroom, a 60″ TV, DVD, WiFi, Air-con, Storage space, Maid service, a balcony, 24 hours security service, and fire and heat sensors in all rooms and common areas. Plus mosquito netting. More importantly, Farouk wants you to know hes has a “body thankful and active” which must work well with being an “easygoing creature with a passion for discovery.” Swipe left.
Decorative Soaps All In A Row
Mister BNB lists rooms in both gay and gay-friendly houses, but when one of the room photos features decorative soaps all in a row, ya know the place belongs to a friendly gay. And that’d be John,a 29-year-old who offers a cozy room in his nice apartment for a nightly fee of $36. John doesn’t offer much way in the way of descriptions of his rental, but ain’t no slouch in the marketing department as he’s listed his place twice, each with a different profile pic. And at that price John looks like a keeper.
The Blue Man Group Sex
Noppadol, who is a 49-year-old gay couple, know what visitors to Pattaya really want. Wink, wink. And while a room rate of $39 a night might be more than Pattaya aficionados like to pay, The Noppadol defuses that nasty bit of detail by letting you know Nude OK! right off the bat. It/They also want you to know “we do not simply offer “only” guest rooms, (wink, wink) but does offer “always nice other guests (wink, wink). And in case you missed it, at The Noppadol’s “everything you are looking for you can find here” (wink, wink).
It’s All Greek To Me
Stettcos (whether that’s a person or a thing is up for debate) on the other hand doesn’t seem to quite grasp the allure of Pattaya. Or its fans’ spending habits. The former he/it calls “the Beverly Hills on the eastern seaboard” and for the latter his/its rates run $325 per night. But it’s a villa, not just a room, which unfortunately is “too difficult to describe.” But then the “extra-ordinary and tastefully decorated” abode’s photos speak for themselves.
Thanks, I Will Name It
Paween is a 27-year-old with a 1 Bedroom apartment for two in Silom at $60 per night. He ensures a “home-like experience” and after listing a smattering of amenities finishes his description off with “you name it”. Cool. ‘Cuz I don’t need to see the room, I’m just naming it Paween. And I can’t wait to check in.
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