Years ago I had a roommate who was addicted to gay porn. Not a boyfriend, just a roommate. Okay, so he’d been a boyfriend, but by the time we moved in together the bloom was off the rose and we’d just became friends. With an occasional upgrade to fuck buddy status. As roommates go, it was an ideal living situation. I worked a regular Monday through Friday, 9 to 5 job, he worked late nights and weekends. I rarely saw him since our time at the house seldom over-lapped. Unfortunately, when it did I’d see far too much of him. He spent all of his free time splayed out naked in the living room watching gay porn on the wide screen. Which accounts for his occasional upgrade to fuck buddy status.
You’d think coming home to a hot naked stud who was always primed, ready, and willing would be a little slice of heaven. Especially one whose birthday you didn’t have to remember. Or your anniversary. Or any of the other stupid occasions that cause turmoil for forgetting when two guys become a couple and one of them starts acting like a little bitch. ‘Cuz a bitch in heat only cares that you remembered to bring the lube. But a surround sound system blaring Jeff Stryker’s catch phrase, “Yeah, suck that big cock!” in THX isn’t quite the, “Hi honey, how was work today?” you’d expect, and it got old pretty fast. Like about eight months after we’d signed the lease.
His porn hobby was an all encompassing one. He was always either watching porn, or making a trip to the local video rental shop for a new batch of porn tapes, or copying his favorite porn scenes onto his collection of gay porn mixed video tapes. He had several hundred of them. Stored in what should have been the coat closet. Which invariably led to a first-time visitor to the house thinking he was gonna hang up his coat only to be greeted by shelves full of homemade videos with titles like Best Blow Jobs, Biggest Black Cocks, and Anal Action +++, instead of the hanger he’d expected to find. Most took it in stride. My moms, not so much.
Not quite knowing the best way to stage an intervention for someone addicted to watching gay porn, one day I suggested that perhaps his hobby was keeping him from enjoying sex with an actual human being. Other than himself. His reply was a garbled, “Mmmurghph.” So I took my dick out of his mouth and told him I didn’t think his obsession with gay porn was a healthy pastime. He claimed watching porn was educational. Even if it was obvious he’d already earned his PhD. And while his actual male-on-male body contact was limited, he said by watching all that porn he was becoming a better lover, that he’d been learning new and better techniques. Which I couldn’t really argue with. Other than that watching a porn star use an orange traffic cone as a dildo might not be the type of sexual repertoire that would lead to a satisfied bed partner. I’m sure he had some excuse for that point too, but by then I couldn’t understand anything he was saying again. So at least he’d learned not to talk when your mouth is full.
Despite a roommate whose availability for giving blow jobs was more reliable than the refrigerator’s ice maker doing its job, his claim that watching porn made him a better lover smelled like a bunch of lame excuses. But researchers at Concordia University and UCLA recently reported that watching lots of porn may in fact mean a healthier sex life. And that change in scents means yup, it smells like science to me.
The study published in the online journal Sexual Medicine suggests that men who regularly watch porn may enjoy greater desire and sexual arousal when having sex with their partners. Researchers surveyed 280 men, asking them how many hours per week they spent watching porn, their levels of sexual desire, and their experiences with erectile function. Their findings suggest that many popular stereotypes about porn don’t hold up and that watching porn may indeed have a place in a healthy sex life within a relationship.
Previously, the general opinion of porn addicts was that their obsession with watching porn could lead to problems with getting or sustaining an erection; that men who love their porn become desensitized to the actual act of having sex. But Nicole Prause, associate research scientist in the Department of Psychiatry in the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior, and Jim Pfaus, professor in Concordia’s Department of Psychology and Center for Studies in Behavioral Neurobiology, says their study shows the opposite to be true.
“When we analyzed the data from these prior studies, we found that the men who had watched more sex films at home were more aroused when they watched sex films in the lab,” says Prause. He says their research showed that men who watched more than 25 porn tapes per week responded more strongly to sexual stimuli – even very vanilla erotica – than the guys for whom porn movies were more novel. “While this association doesn’t establish a cause, it proves viewing erotica at home is not desensitizing and perhaps even sensitized the men to respond more strongly,” he says.
And Pfaus says that watching porn is not only good for you, but good for your relationship too. “Many clinicians claim that watching erotica makes men unable to respond sexually to ‘normal’ sexual situations with a partner,” he says. “That was not the case in our sample.”
Pfaus says that of the 280 volunteers who agreed to stroke it in the name of science, 127 were in a relationship with a regular sex partner, representing a good cross-section of men that view porn on a regular basis. He claims that his research shows that rather than porn hijacking men’s libidos and setting up unrealistic expectations for real-life sex, viewing more sex films is associated with a stronger sex drive, including the desire to have sex with a partner. “Sex films,” Pfaus says, “may be able to ‘stoke the fire.’” And that’s a lot of stroking going on.
Despite their study’s results backing up their hypothesis that an overindulgence in porn can turn you into a little sex machine, the pair of men in white coats acknowledged that it was possible the men in their study who watched more porn had a stronger sex drive in the first place. But that doesn’t stop them from claiming that watching porn can be good for what ails you. “The most common error of thinking with respect to men and porn is that all porn is bad for men all of the time,” Prause said. “The truth is probably that some porn is good for some men in some situations. The challenge is to identify when sex films are most likely to be helpful.” And that was a challenge my old roommate was always up for.
|Related Posts You Might Enjoy:|