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Disappearing Act 1

“I not on internet.”

The look on Noom’s face was akin to that of a kid rushing downstairs on Christmas morning only to find Santa had skipped his zip code. Well, except for the glare he shot toward Dave’s direction, one filled equally with suspicion and accusation. Lumps of coal, after all, don’t show up in your stocking on their own.

“No, I told you I’m on holiday from blogging. Besides, you got an honorable mention in the last post so you’ve been up there for over a week already.”

“No. You look,” he shot back in reply, pushing my laptop in my direction while his glare became more frown-like. And still landed squarely on Dave’s shoulders.

Huh. Ooops. My bad. I hate when Noom is right. Not updating my blog for a week or so had been the plan. If you can consider plan to mean one shit load of unexpected work hitting without warning at the same time you’re preparing for an overseas trip. Forgetting to re-register my domain name, not so much. I blame the company I register through for that. They’ve been sending weekly renewal emails for over six months, almost daily missives pleading to be allowed to automatically renew my domain even though its term still had half a year to go.

That’s a lot of spam for ten bucks. So when I switched email addresses a month ago, I conveniently forgot to tell them. Not that I bothered to explain all of that to Noom. From the look on his face, he was still blaming Dave anyway. And when Dave is feeling guilty about something – whether he has reason to or not – he gets a real cute look on his already cute face. Since the two of us were still in bed, I considered that a win-win.

Disappearing Act 2

“Why were you looking at my blog this morning anyway?”

“I look ever day. Den I know you okay.”

That’s sweet. I think. Although I was about to point out he didn’t need to check my blog to see if I was still alive. Waking up to my hard penis snuggled between the cheeks of his butt should have already clued him into my breathing status. But Noom is big on tradition. Which is a nice way of excusing his OCD thingy. And if checking out my blog on a daily basis is part of his routine, I’ll take those hits. Besides, it’s nice to know my on-line presence rates almost as high to him as does those body-building competition videos he’s so fond of. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was gay.

Dave rolled over, glad to be able to use me as a body pillow now that Noom had abandoned his claim. Or maybe that was just his attempt to inch out of the glaring spotlight of Noom’s stare. Or maybe he just wanted someone to know that he was still alive, well, and awake too. Or that at least part of him was. Noom’s plight temporarily forgotten – okay, purposefully ignored – I reached down to say good morning back. Dave giggled and rolled back over to the other side of the bed.

I was still enjoying embarrassing the newly minted gay boy as often as possible; exposing his erect cock to Noom, however, had become passe. Not that Noom was in the least bit impressed. Or interested. But actually putting that cock into action in front of a third party was still something Dave had managed to avoid. Not that Noom would have been impressed. Or interested. For propriety’s sake – or maybe because he and Noom had already established whose dick was bigger long ago – Dave covered himself with a pillow, hopped out of bed, and headed into the bathroom while throwing an inviting look my way. I figured by then Noom must have come to grips with his stint as an internet star possibly having faded and would have moved on to one of those muscle videos. So I disappeared into the bathroom with Dave.

Disappearing Act 3

“Where you go?”

“We were in the bathroom. Um, taking a shower.”

“I not hear water.”

Dave may have become familiar with being naked around other guys who might consider that an invitation, but had not yet perfected his gay boy persona to the point of knowing how and when to make an entrance. Still toweling the non-existent water from his hair, he came back out of the bathroom. Oh, and that cute guilty look of his I mentioned? I almost pulled him back into the bathroom again.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I hear you make funny noise in bathroom.”

Noom too had been enjoying embarrassing the newly minted gay boy as often as possible. And doing a much better job of it than I. You could say the same about keeping up to date on the status of my blog. Having finished with Dave, he tilted the laptop’s screen towards me. “Fix dis.”

Disappearing Act 4

So much for enjoying the happy glow of post-coital bliss. Not that Noom was in the least bit impressed. Or interested. And Dave, as the newly minted gay boy that he is, was busy perfecting his skills at being an eccedentesiast. On my part, I have to admit, as unplanned as it was, not blogging after doing so for three + years daily, had quickly become the norm. An enjoyable norm at that. And with a week still left of holiday time, dealing with an expired domain name was not something I was in a rush to do. Especially considering the company that surrounded me. Especially considering the company that surrounded me were both still naked. So I punted. “Fine. But I think somebody needs to put some clothes on first.”

Noom and Dave looked at each other, both assuming I must have meant the other guy; neither moved to take responsibility for the nakedness prevalent in the room. Much like with not blogging, the two of them giving each other the I Think He Means You eye had become the norm too. Granted, my mumbling a non specified utterance, like, “Turn over,” had become the norm too. Just to see which of them would take me up on the offer. But in this case, Dave figured that since we’d just freshly dispensed with his nakedness, Noom’s was probably that which had to go. Noom’s brain finally connected the dots and agreed. He pulled on his jeans. It was the least enjoyable disappearing act of the morning.

I probably should have instead gone with, “Fine. But somebody needs to take a shower first.” That too would have qualified as a non specified utterance. Even if Dave had just faked taking one. But I woulda meant Noom ‘cuz Noom tends to leave the bathroom door open when he showers. And that’s a tradition that the voyeur within me greatly appreciates. Although having just not showered with Dave and then almost immediately perving out over Noom’s naked, wet body probably wouldn’t have been the best move. I’ve only had a few days of practice, and that’s a balancing act that still eludes me. Or as Dave has already summed it up: “You’re just greedy.”

Guilty as charged. Good thing he loves me. Regardless of who that he is.

disappearing act 5

But on the plus side, with Noom no longer exposed and with Dave still making the occasional whimpering noise when he moves too fast, sitting down to deal with expired domain names and a blog left hanging in the balance has become the rule of the morning. Besides, it’s still raining outside. I’d not planned on posting too, but considering the aforementioned not exposed Noom, whimpering Dave, and rain, there’s not much else to do. Or since the bars don’t open in the morning, no one else to do either. And Noom will be happy to not only see that I’m still alive, but that his name just made it to a new post too. And since a happy Noom is always a good thing, maybe those damn jeans he slipped on will pull a disappearing act of their own.

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