Anyone who visits Thailand and doesn’t eat from street carts is a fool. Yeah, yeah, you have a timid tummy, blah, blah, blah. So does my friend Ann. And yet on every visit we’ve ever made her lack of a strong constitution has never stopped her from sampling the numerous delicacies being roasted over small grills streetside. Sure, she ends up spending a day in bed with an unimpeded route to the bathroom, but a quick stop at the local pharmacy is all it takes to score a small handful of pills that puts her system right again. And then its back out to the street for diner.

Ann, bless her little heart, would like to be a vegetarian. She loves animals. And admires those who can commit to a life of not eating meat. Which is pretty surprising for a girl from Texas. Plus she loves fish. Which isn’t surprising for a dyke. So while back home she attempts to live up to her ideal and makes obnoxious meals like tofu lasagna, when we hit Thailand her idea of a meal starts and ends with the well-cooked flesh of creatures that had mothers. And the question is never whether we should or shouldn’t eat off the street, but rather what type of grilled meat we should eat for the night. Fortunately, the portions are small and inexpensive so we tend to graze for hours and never really have to make a decision. Whatever shows up next is worth giving a try.

Unfortunately, Thais are frugal with the animals they’ve killed for food. Little, if anything, goes to waste. So when it comes to dining on chicken, for example, you really need to specify just what part of the chicken you are interested in eating. Because timid constitution or not, you probably don’t have gnawing on chicken feet in mind. And while a bit of nice, crispy skin on a drumstick sounds mouth-watering, a skewer of nothing but skin doesn’t.

Kai yang, on the other hand, sounds worse than it is. At least in English. ‘Cuz that could be chicken ass. And while fans of Sunee Plaza may consider those two words to compliment each other, most diners would give it a pass. But if you want to be adventurous and can’t quite work up the nerve to try fried grasshopper, a bit of chicken butt will do you proud. And it’s surprisingly good. It tastes like chicken. Even lesbians, who on general principle, might pass on those ubiquitous grilled pork balls hanging from every food cart will enjoy trying a little local ass while in Thailand.

While thanks to anatomical dictates it takes several chickens to make a single serving of chicken butt, it’s usually one of the cheaper barbequed meat options at street food carts. Some vendors sell three butts on a stick, some five. But even if you are an ass man you shouldn’t get hung up on quantity. Quality ass is what matters. And when it comes to the fowlest kind, it’s the sauce that really matters. So you may have to eat a lot of ass during your trip until you find the vendor whose butt you like the best. There are both sweet and hot sauces, and a wide variety of tastes within those two. Personally, I like the butt that’s served with a hot, spicy sauce. ‘Cuz nothing beats a piece of hot ass.

Obviously, portions are small. Grilled to perfection over live coals, each piece should be lightly caramelized. Your best bet is to add more sauce to the plastic bag the vendor puts your skewers of butt in and then use it as a dipping sauce. And small bites are the way to go; there is a chunk of gristle in each piece that you have to eat around. But then if you are a fan of eating ass, you probably already knew that.

Chicken ass may not be the type of butt that was on your to-do list for your holiday in Thailand, but you really should give it a try. If nothing else you’ll have a good tail to tell your friends and loved ones when you get back home.

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