If the gods truly loved mankind – or at least were fond of those of us with an eight-year-old’s sense of humor – Russian Olympian Semen Pavlichenko and German Olympian Andreas Wank would compete in the same sport. But Pavlichenko does his thing on a luge and Andreas does his on skis. No problemo. There may be no Liam Tancock to snicker over at the Sochi Games, but Wank has gotta be in contention for the gold for a name guaranteed to bring on the giggles. And as one on-line pundit put it, “there’s a delicious irony in that Andreas Wank partakes in the only skiing event where you don’t have a pole in your hand.”

Semen jokes have not been as popular, but then he is Russian and the Russians don’t think semen is something to joke about even if it is, evidently, popular in Russia; there’s a Russian speedskater named Semen Elistratov too. And Pavlichenko made the joke about his name his own by giving what so far has been the Sochi Games’ best cum face.

Slovenia’s best biathlete Jakov Fak, on the other hand (get it?) gives Andreas Wank a run for the money shot in Olympic names to snicker over. While Canadian freestyle skier Rosalind Groenewoud and Swiss cross country skier Seraina Boner are obviously in a competition of their own. Of less interest to the fart jokes are always funny crowd, Bobby Brown and James Woods are both competing in Sochi. And there’s a Bieber there too.

Meanwhile it’s a given Swedish women’s ice hockey Olympian Jenni Asserholt will not be hyphenating her last name when she gets married. She’s probably looking forward to the day she walks down the aisle to a new last name. Let’s just hope she doesn’t fall in love with French freestyle skier Jonathan Midol, Austrian ice hockey team member Rene Swette or Swiss pucker Luca Cunti.

Getting stuck with a name the world will giggle over has got to suck. But it could be worse. You could be Japanese speedskater Satoshi Sakashita.

[‘The XXII Gays of The Winter Olympics’ are a series of posts about hot Olympians, gay competitors – both present and past – and general articles about the 2014 Sochi Games of interest to gay men. So, yeah, lots of hot male eye candy. Click the The XXII Gays of The Winter Olympics graphic below for additional news, stories, and pictures.]