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26 Thursday Sep 2013
Posted Absolutely Thursdays, It's A Gay World
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25 Wednesday Sep 2013
Posted It's A Gay World, Smells Like Science
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Uh oh, this isn’t good news.
Most people know that smoking is bad for your health. Prissy queens who get all vocal about someone lighting up in their presence don’t seem to realize that too is bad for your health, but that’s not the point of today’s post. Though if you are counted among those annoying people (the whiners, not the smokers) by the time you finish reading this article you may learn you owe smokers a thanks instead of your condemnation. You may even decide to only kiss smokers in the future.
Culturally, over 90% of the people in the world kiss. Kissing helps produce saliva, which is good for dental health. It also raises levels of oxytocin, the body’s natural calming chemical – at least in men, not so much in women but then who wants to kiss fish anyway – and is also thought to increase endorphins, the body’s ‘happy’ chemical. Plus swapping saliva is said to increase dopamine, which encourages romantic attachment. If you are into that sort of thing. Thanks to philematologists, we know that passionate kissing burns between 6 and 26 calories a minute – in fact, according to one study three passionate kisses a day will help you lose a pound in weight – that despite when two people kiss they exchange between 10 million and a billion bacteria, kissing someone as a greeting is actually healthier than a handshake (because you don’t know what someone has been touching before they shake your hand – not that you’d know where that mouth has been either), and that kissing is such an integral part of the propagation of the species that our lips have special neurons that help them find other lips in the dark. At least I think those were his lips.
As an expression of love, kissing is the climax of every great love story and an experience that has motivated poets and musicians for thousands of years; the kiss is celebrated in art, movies, and literature. Pop music owes its existence to kissing (though fans of County & Western music should note that a study in the Archives of Oral Biology found that kissing your dog can transfer bacteria that causes gum disease). The average person spends 336 hours of their life kissing because it feels good and, if done right, leads to even better activities. That feel even better. It’s no wonder we spend so much time locking lips or pursuing the opportunity to do so. But is kissing the end-all it is trumpeted to be? Is swapping saliva really good for both your emotional and physical health? And is kissing a man the quickest way to getting to where your mouth really wants to be?
Yup, smells like science to me.
The good news is that there are far more fans of kissing within the scientific community than there are those who think it is a disgusting act. The bad news is that at least one group of researchers has shown than despite all of the evidence of the benefits of kissing, doing it right – like you really mean it – is deadly. Kissing can shorten your life-span. Even worse ,’cuz who wants to kiss a 90-year-old anyway, is that no matter how attracted you may be to some guy, your first kiss could easily be your last. A study by Gordon Gallup Jr., professor of psychology at the University of Albany, showed that 59 percent of men reported that after feeling attracted to another man initially, the attraction ended after the first kiss. Yikes! But let’s deal with that kissing can kill you thingy first.
Obviously, kissing the wrong guy can be bad for your health. Especially if he has a jealous partner who likes to play with knives. Smooching is also a great way to pass on pulmonary tuberculosis, flus, parotitis, scarlet fever, syphilis, and nettle rash. But some scientist claim that even puckering up with a healthy partner might not be good for you.
When you kiss like you mean it, your pulse rate increases by five pumps a minute, your blood pressure rises, you breathe faster, your circulation speeds up, some of your white blood cells disintegrate, your blood vessels dilate, your cheeks flush, and your pituitary and adrenal glands start pumping hormones into your system at an increased rate. Not to mention what it does to your best buddy. Kissing puts an enormous strain on your heart. And on your jeans. So much so that researchers at the University at Albany say that every time you kiss, you shorten your life-span by three minutes. Smoking a cigarette, by comparison, shortens your life span by 11 minutes. Ergo smoking a cigarette is healthier for you than kissing a guy 4 times
Okay, so I never claimed to be that good at math. So maybe trading in passionate kissing for a smoking habit isn’t all that good of an idea. Especially in light of research coming out of Stockholm University that shows that the lack of kissing is one of the traits that separates serial rapists from single- victim rapists. ‘Cuz you wouldn’t want to be stereotyped. And according to a survey done in Britain, ‘ashtray mouth’ is the biggest kissing turn-off (followed closely by cold sores, body odor, and dry lips – bad teeth were considered a lesser evil than your partner chewing gum during your kiss, but then that survey was done in the U,K, so . . . .). The fact is that as pleasurable as kissing is – at least among non-serial rapists – it can nip a relationship in the bud as easily as it can spark a romance. But then since you are a guy, that’s not necessarily bad news.
According to Dr. Gallup’s study a kiss transmits smells, tastes, sound, and tactile signals that all affect how people perceive each other and, ultimately, whether they will want to kiss again. While we don’t often think of them in that way, our lips are our body’s most exposed erogenous zone (unless you are a serial-rapist). Packed with sensitive nerve endings, even a light brush sends a cascade of information to our brains helping us to decide whether we want to continue and what might happen next. “A kiss can’t make a relationship, but clearly the evidence shows it can break or kill a relationship,” Gallup says.
Looking at a sample of more than 1,000 college students, Gallup and his colleagues found that women tend to emphasize kissing more than men, and are much more likely to insist on kissing before a sexual encounter. On the other hand, over half of the guys in Gallup’s study (53 per cent) said they would have sex without first having kissed their date. Men are also much more likely to have sex with someone who’s a bad kisser. They also say a good kiss includes their partner making moaning noises. Just in case you are taking notes.
And not that you’d care, but women kiss to assess the commitment of a mate – is he really that into me? – while men kiss as a means to an end. And we all know what end kissing is a means to. Gallup’s study also determined that men like their kisses wetter and with more tongue: To be precise, 33 per cent wetter and with 11 per cent more tongue, on average, than women do. So among men, doing it right – which does not mean which direction you turn your head when kissing ‘cuz roughly twice as many people turn their heads to the right when they go in for a kiss than to the left – is less important to men than using lots of tongue. Or as long as you are willing to put out, you can skip kissing altogether.
Not that not kissing means you’d never enjoy the thrill that smooching brings. According to research carried out by Dr. David Lewis of the University of Sussex you can experience an even more intense and longer lasting buzz than kissing produces thanks to chocolate. In fact, chocolate beats kissing hands down when it comes to providing a long-lasting body and brain buzz; A buzz that, in many cases, lasts four times as long as the most passionate kiss.
Dr. Lewis found that although kissing sets the heart pounding, the effect does not last as long as that seen from eating chocolate, which increased heart rates from a resting rate of about 60 beats per minute to 140. His study also found that as chocolate starts melting in your mouth, all regions of your brain receive a boost far more intense and longer lasting than the excitement of a kiss.
So rather than swapping spit with the next hottie whose very presence curls your toes, you might want to avoid the dangers of sucking at kissing and just pop a Hershey’s kiss in your mouth instead. You’ll get a bigger rush, and can then get down to what really matters quicker. And live an extra three minutes to boot.
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25 Wednesday Sep 2013
Posted It's A Gay World, Wednesday Wetness
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24 Tuesday Sep 2013
Where in the hell is Chris Brown when you need him?
Celebrity visits to Thailand always seem to make the news. Amazing Thailand indeed, the unique juxtaposition of historical culture, exotic and breathtaking scenery, and in-your-face sleaze that is everyone’s favorite SE Asian country always manages to bring out the best in visitors, allowing them to leave their indelible stamp on The Land of Smiles. From Lady Gaga making a pit stop at a local Drag Show for Tourists and thinking that had something to do with supporting The Gays, to George Bush The Sequel’s incredibly huge travel entourage whose presence doomed whatever mission of failed diplomacy he was in town to attempt, to PM Yingluck making googoo eyes at President Obama and saving him from having to visit a gogo bar for the Thai woman in heat over the size of your wallet experience, to Jeremy Renner’s death defying visit to the Thai version of a barroom brawl – and that’s not to mention both Davey Wavey’s and the Gay Travel Guru’s singular visits to the Land of Smiles that then qualified them as experts on the country as they dispensed travel advice for the truly clueless – there is something about Thailand that infects the sensibilities of Personalities quicker than Paris Hilton can pass on genital herpes to her latest BFF (and you thought she didn’t know the meaning of ‘forever’).
Pop star and diva wanna-be Rihanna is the latest celebrity to make the news while visiting Thailand. She was in Phuket – the part of the country everyone loves to hate even though it attracts more than 5 million visitors per year – for a long weekend, managing to stir up the locals and her millions of Twitter fans thanks to a never-ending stream of Tweets and Instagram selfies, some of which lead to arrests and crack-downs by the local authorities. Which is no mean feat for a celebrity whose prior claim to fame was being the punching bag for a rapper with a cock the size of Nakhon Ratchasima province.
The Barbadian beauty with major back, taking a quick break from her Diamonds World Tour hit Phuket over the weekend and rather than visiting one of the hi-so resort areas decided to slum it like the masses and headed for Patong Beach instead. You wouldn’t think Soi Bangla would be a hang out for the rich and famous, but RhiRhi couldn’t resist the allure of Patong’s naughty nightlife, nor the allure of documenting every single moment of her adventure. You’d think with MMA stars like Roger Huerta, Georges St.-Pierre, Jose Aldo, and Anderson Silva to name but a few calling Phuket home while during training Rihanna could have at least spent some time with a few equally minor celebrities who know a thing or two about the island instead of spending her time in the more heavily touristed areas. But then on second thought maybe taking the chance at pissing off a guy who really knows how to throw a punch might not be that good of an idea.
Succumbing to the delights that Thailand offers, RhiRhi managed to cause a bit of a brouhaha by tweeting a photo of herself posed with some of the local wildlife. Unfortunately for the Thais who were making a living off of the stupidity of tourists, one of her photos showed her cuddled up with a furry primate called the slow loris. Which just happens to be an endangered species. As is now the career of said locals.
The slow loris, a squirrel-like animal with big eyes, is native to Southeast Asia and is listed as a protected species. Thanks to Rihanna’s Kodak moment local authorities took a break from busting jet ski scam artists and arrested two locals – a 20-year-old man and a 16-year-old boy – who now face charges of possession of protected animals. The charge carries a penalty of up to four years in prison and a 40,000 baht ($1,300) fine. Which in Thai means about 5,000 baht in tea money.
“Phuket authorities were alerted to the picture (of Rihanna), and last night police arrested the two individuals who brought out the loris as a photo opportunity for tourists,” reported Phuket district policed chief, Weera Kerdsirimongkon. Police confiscated two lorises from the pair. Weera said authorities have tried for years to crack down on the problem of vendors exploiting wildlife, particularly in popular tourist areas where people pay to pose for pictures with elephants, orangutans and other animals.
“It’s like a cat-and-mouse game. But this time it’s bigger because a celebrity like Rihanna posted the picture, and there were more than 200,000 ‘likes’ from around the world,” he said. Nice to know Phuket’s law enforcement efforts are based on the popularity of the crime.
The Instagram photo Rihanna shared on Twitter was captioned: “Look who was talkin dirty to me!” Which was typical of not only her one track mind but proves today’s R&B stars should not be allowed anywhere near a computer without the supervision of a publicist. Throw in her captioning of the photo she posted of herself playing with elephants on Patong’s Walking Street: “They all hail Empress when She walk by” and grammar aside instead of being sentenced to community service for bitch slapping RhiRhi, Brown should have been congratulated for the community service he performed. Okay, so that’s not quite in league with The Bieb surrendering his pet monkey to the gestapo, but evidently, while prostituting elephants to tourists on the street is also illegal in Thailand, that photo didn’t rack up as many ‘Likes’ so Phuket’s police ignored the infraction.
As they, and the rest of the world, did of her photo which she captioned “‘She was either tryna get married to me, or asking for the rest of my crop over costume!” Not that ladyboys are illegal in Thailand. But you’d think after dating Rob Kardashian Rihanna would recognize a ladyboy when she saw one. Of course you do have to give her a bit of a pass, not only because she’s more interested in getting down and dirty with lesbians than ladyboys (though Kardashian counts in both categories), but thanks to eyeballing what those elephants were packing probably brought Brown back to mind. Which, in turn, like with every other horny tourist in Patong meant Rhi’s next stop was one of Thailand’s famous ping pong shows.
Her Twitter comments on that part of her adventure must have racked up even more ‘Likes’ than did her adorable shot of mugging with an endangered species (uh, the slow loris, not Rob Kardashian) ‘cuz that one caught the attention of Phuket Governor, Maitree Intusoot. Thanks to her spreading the news of Thailand’s sex shows globally, Maitree now claims that the authorities will investigate and anyone found running an illegal sex show will be prosecuted. District Chief Officer Weera, fresh from his success in busting the slow loris scoundrels chimed in noting that his administration often inspects the entertainment complexes in Patong, and that they have prosecuted unlicensed bars and clubs where illegal sex shows were performed in the past. Or at least those behind in their tea money payments.
Many Thais reportedly feel the singer’s choice of words was disrespectful. Her critics weren’t concerned with her promotion of the country’s sex industry to her 31 million Twitter followers, rather they took issue with her use of the phrase “only in #Thailand” , tweeted after describing her ping-pong show experience. Some netizens pointed out that Rihanna’s choice of words was somewhat ironic considering that she is about as well-known for her music as she is for her sex tape. Not to mention her nude selfies. But that’s the problem with using Google Translate; the incensed Thais missed the point in her tweet. What she said was:
“Either I was ph*ck wasted lastnight, or I saw a Thai woman pull a live bird,2 turtles,razors,shoot darts and ping pong, all out of her p*$$y. The birds feathers were all damp! Lol And THEN she tried to turn water into coke in her $!! Uhh yea, all I’m saying is water went in and soda came out! I’m traumatized!!!”
And what traumatized the 25-year-old Queen of Pop whose own pussy has performed for the likes of Colin Farrell, Ashton Kutcher, Drake, Matt Kemp, Rashard Lewis, Dudley O’ Shaughnessy, Ryan Phillippe, Josh Henderson, Josh Hartnett, Shia LaBeouf, J. Cole, Jay-Z, Meek Mill, JR Smith, Nicki Minaj, Debbie Coda, Melissa Forde, and of course Chris Brown – before, during, and after taking the phrase ‘hiting it’ to new heights – was that the far less experienced Thai gogo girl couldn’t managed to pull a bird out of her pussy without getting the bird’s feathers damp.
Phuket has enough problems with its rep among tourists. The authorities might do better by clamping down on visiting celebrities than on sex shows and endangered specie photo ops. Thank the gods Justin has just landed in Bangkok and we can be assured of some sane celebrity news coming out of Thailand now.
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24 Tuesday Sep 2013
Posted It's A Gay World, Tighty Whitey Tuesday
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23 Monday Sep 2013
Posted It's A Gay World, Monday Muscle
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22 Sunday Sep 2013
Posted Sunday Funnies
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22 Sunday Sep 2013
Posted It's A Gay World, Stay In Bed Sundays
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