Maybe all roads do lead to Rome, but if an orgasm or two (or more) are part of your plans for your journey, you’re better off taking the path that will lead you to Bangkok where happy endings are a way of life. For gay men, Thailand is a modern day Shangrila. At least it is when it comes to said orgasms. The difficult trick in Bangkok isn’t in finding a willing partner, but in not getting laid. But then being a gay man, not getting laid is seldom on the agenda anyway.

Thai men are exceptionally hot. That most are also willing just adds to the country’s appeal. For visitors who no longer qualify as hot, Bangkok’s commercial sex scene will not only take care of your needs, but will do a damn good job at convincing you that you still got it to boot. It’ll take good care of those who still are hot too – the boys at the gogo bars are just too friendly to ignore. And that hottie you met on Silom Soi 4 is probably a moneyboy anyway. Between the bars and pubs filled with “working men”, internet hook-up sites filled with the horny (many of who are still working men), and smart phone apps that will smartly hone in on the closest hottie for you (many of who are also working men whose last customer bought them their iPhone), the opportunities for getting your rocks off are endless. But the happy ending you get may well depend on who is providing it, where you met him, and what the two for you manage to get up to. How much that will cost you, if anything, will too.

Getting laid for free, obviously, is always the way to go. But for a tourist in Thailand looking to land a local hottie that’s not as easy as it sounds. Despite your intentions, many of the guys you may meet on-line, through Grindr, or on Soi 4 are looking for some baht along with their orgasm. Some want the type of tips gogo boys demand, some are happy with a bit of taxi money (though where they find the taxis that run 500 baht is perplexing). Not that every Thai guy will want money out of you. But many do, and finding those that don’t can be taxing. It’s not surprising then that with just a week or two of holiday time, many visitors decide to just take what comes their way. Regardless of the cost. When sex can be obtained effortlessly, just how much effort do you want to devote to the hunt?

Over my decades of visiting Bangkok, I’ve hooked up with local guys from meeting them on the street, to hitting it off in a pub or club, to prearranging a meeting over the internet, to logging on and getting off in as little as amount of time as it takes my latest friend to make it to my hotel room, to letting my phone reach out so that I can touch someone, to using the gogo bars for their intended purpose. It’s all good. But when time is short, and a hassle-free happy ending my goal, nothing beats the gogo bar experience. It may, and usually does, cost more. But in my opinion it’s worth every satang.

Convenience, one-stop shopping, seeing what you are getting before the fact, and being entertained while doing so are all pluses in using a gogo bar to find a date for the night. But there’s safety too in those little numbers the guys wear when wearing anything at all. And for the casual visitor, those may be the digits that will best lead you to a hassle-free happy ending.

Does He Or Doesn’t He?
At a pub, a club, on-line, or thanks to your smart phone, when hooking up with a local guy there is always the question of whether or not he is a moneyboy. In most cases the answer is yes. Finding that out when the two of you have finished and are ready to go your separate ways can be a blow to your ego. And to your wallet. Sure, you can always ask up front. But if he isn’t, there’s a good chance you’ll have just insulted him and blown your chance at blowing him. And as much as Thais hate to say “no,” many seem to be just as opposed to saying yes when the result may not be what they hoped for – so your not a money boy often becomes a money boy after it’s too late to call the whole thing off.

That is never a question at a gogo bar. Hello? How much may still need to be considered, but that it will cost you is a given. There is no con fusion. There is no concern about insulting him or not getting a straight answer. Which allows you both to get on with the more important things in life. Like your orgasm.

Will He Or Won’t He?
There are those for whom the unknown is part of the thrill, there are those for whom taking a risk is an important part of the game. For the other 90% of us, not having to worry when taking a stranger back to your hotel is security we’ll gladly pay for. In a scam-filled country like Thailand, concerns over being ripped off are just part of the travel experience. Being aware and not needlessly putting yourself in the way of danger is the smart move. Despite the fictitious claims by the disgruntled and disenfranchised, arranging for your night’s entertainment through one of Bangkok’s gogo bars is the safest ways to get what you want with the least amount of risk.

Hooking up with a stranger anywhere in the world can be a risky proposition. The possibility of loss stops few of us from doing so. There are, however, many things you can do to lower that risk – securing your valuables, not flashing wads of cash or expensive jewelry, meeting in public places, letting a friend or travel companion know where you’ll be and who you’ll be with . . . these are the types of steps we take to avoid problems. You can avoid them just as easily by relying on a known entity for safeguarding your health and property.

I know some guys go to great lengths to hide or secure their belongings when bringing a bar boy back to their hotel room. That’s cool. Whatever helps you sleep better at night. I’ve never bothered myself. Typically, my computer and photography equipment, cell phone and iPod, are all laying out and easily accessible. And one of the first things I do when I walk back into my room is to empty my pockets, throwing a wad of cash and my wallet onto the closest night stand or desk. In several decades of offing bar boys in Bangkok, I have never once lost so much as a satang.

Bangkok’s gay gogo bars have an undeserved reputation when it comes to honesty and protecting their customers. Horror stories abound. But then fiction has always been a popular genre. The truth is the success of a gogo bar’s business relies on providing a safe experience. Many have been in business for 10 + years – you don’t keep your doors open by allowing your employees to rob your customers blind (that’s the mamasan’s job). Paying for your boy du jour through a gogo bar may be a bit more costly than picking up a moneyboy off the street, but that’s money well spent. Your are much more less likely to be the victim of theft when you have an employer to turn to in the event a loss does occur. And a much better chance of rectifying the matter if it does.

Can He Or Can’t He?
All moneyboys aim to please. At least until you get back to your hotel room with them. Claims that he does everything are just as likely from a bar boy as from street trade, landing business is what matters, not providing an honest accounting of what your customer can expect from your time together. But at a gogo bar, at least physically, what you can expect is not in question. If that sort of thing matters to you. And since you are a gay man, it probably does.

You never really know what you are gonna get when you unwrap the guy you brought home with you. That can mean a pleasant surprise. It can also bring a quick ending to your night of fun. And not a happy one. When that hottie has spent his evening on stage in nothing but his underwear – or less – chances are you’ll know what you’ll be getting into in advance. And if the guys in one bar fail to match the check list of things about a guy you admire, there’s another bar right next door with another few dozen hopefuls to choose from.

The nice thing about using a gogo bar for selecting the lucky guy who’ll curl your toes is that you get what you see. Seeing really is believing. And by offing a bar boy you’ll know what pleasures await you.

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