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About Your Banana

In my most recent End of the Week post I included a link to a story about a guy who ended up with a permanent erection after having his penis tattooed. I thought the story was funny. And thought it was nice that whatever art work some guy decided to decorate his body with was something he really, really liked. Getting inked has become a standard rite of passage for just about everyone below the age of 30 these days. That’s cool, and those who select tribal designs – loops, swirls, bands, and the like – have little to worry about other than the ink fading and their bodies sagging as they age. Pictorial tats that had deep meaning in your youth however can become ridiculously humorous when you are in your 60s.

Far too many years ago and just out of high school, we got a buddy drunk for his birthday and then took him to get a tattoo. He went with the Schlitz Malt Liquor bull. He was a little guy and the massive tat ended up covering his upper right arm from his shoulder to his elbow. And in an alcohol inspired moment of creativity, we convinced him to have the bull’s balls done in vivid gold. I have to wonder if today, in his 50s, if he is as pleased with that tat as he was in his late teens. As well as how many years he had to wear long-sleeved shirts at work.

Of course not all cringe-worthy ink is visible to the public. Those who choose pubic tats only suffer embarrassment when they drop trou. And they never have to worry about whether or not their mother would approve of the design they chose. I hope. The old joke about the guy in a public restroom who notices the black guy standing next to him has a penis tat too and says, “Hey, I’ve got Wendy tattooed on my dick too!” only to have the guy say, “Naw man, mine says Welcome To Jamaica. Have A Nice Day!” aside, having your penis inked has got to take a lot of balls. Then again maybe all that art work is supposed to take your mind away from other short comings.

hello world

Me being me, I can’t read an article about having your dick inked without turning to Google. Inquiring minds want to know. Turns out it is not as popular of a location as you might otherwise think, there are not many tattoo artists who want to spend that much time with your junk, and doctors seem to agree it’s not the best place to be having a needle puncture your skin. None of which would have been enough for a follow-up post except for running across the above picture. You gotta give this guy credit for his commitment to his art. And just for the record, no, I’m not showing this photo to Noom. He’s a bit too fond of having new ink added to his body and thinks too highly of Ganesha for me to risk it.

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