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Bali monkey god

Perhaps if the local monkey gods didn’t look so fearsome the local monkeys would have a more pleasant demeanor too.

Prior to my first visit to Bali I spent hours on-line planning my holiday. I decided to spend a few days in Kuta, which seemed to be Bali’s version of Waikiki – a touri ghetto designed to separate visitors from their wallets with just enough local flavor to qualify as a tropical getaway – and then a few in Ubud, which is billed as the island’s artistic soul, before heading north and the less touristed areas far from the glitter and clamor of Kuta. One of the hotels I considered for my Ubud segment of the trip was located next to the Monkey Forest; to get into town every morning you’d walk through the forest and commune with the monkeys.

Strolling through a forest filled with monkeys to start your day sounded appealing. Until I read more. And discovered how aggressive said monkeys were. Not unlike the touts back in Kuta, they preyed on visitors, swooping down from the trees to make off with any food or shiny things unsuspecting humans had with them. Huh. Getting attacked by monkeys every morning while in search of caffeine didn’t sound as appealing as it initially had. I passed. And passed on visiting the Monkey Forest while I was in Ubud too.

On my second visit to Bali, already knowing the lay of the land, I spent much less time in planning the trip. I had avoided most of the must-do touri outings the first time around and thought I should hit a few this time. The problem with Bali’s local sights that may interest touri is the islanders have turned them all into souvenir stands. But the word was Uluwatu, a cool Hindu temple perched atop a towering seaside cliff, was largely souvenir stand free. With visions of scenic postcard perfect photo ops waiting, I hired a car and headed for what is one of Bali’s more famous temples.

No one told me about the monkeys.

Uluwatu monkeys

Awww, cute! Baby monkey! Now check out the stink eye being thrown by the one to the right. That’s the look you see when you are being sized up for dinner.

I’m used to visiting Buddhist temples in SE Asia. In Europe, I make a point to visit old churches and historic cathedrals too. Regardless of your religious beliefs and regardless of the religion, places of worship touch your soul. There is always a sense of serenity in churches and temples, there is a natural reverence that permeates structures built to honor a peoples’ god. You lose that sense of wonderment when upon entering there is a large pile of sticks with which to arm yourself. Serenity flies out the window when you have to be constantly on guard and ready to do battle with the local wildlife.

The temple’s monkey population line the walking paths around Uluwatu, all casting malevolent glances your way, all just waiting for you to lower your guard or to lower your stick. It is suggested to hammer the nearby foliage as you start down a new path, a warning to the monkeys lying in wait that you are armed and willing to use your weapon. When you do, they screech back in anger. And then sit where they were staring at you as you walk past with very real human-like emotion filling their eyes. If looks could kill . . .

I got a few good shots of the temple. I quickly learned taking monkey shots of those close to you was an unwise move; as soon as you raised the camera to your eye the monkeys would move in knowing you could not take a picture and hit them at the same time. I switched over to my telephoto lens, the one I use for monk hunting, and kept my distance instead.

Uluwatu monkeys

Everything about this shot says serenity. And who said pictures don’t lie?

Pictures of monkeys always elicit the ‘awwwwwwwwww, how cute’ factor in humans. I allow friends browsing my photos to remain ignorant, no reason to correct their misconceptions. They respond to the fact that our fellow primates are our closest cousins. I neglect to remind them that also means they can have some of our worst traits.

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