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nude dude

Noom, my bar boy friend and current love of my life, mentions at least once during every tip I make to Thailand that before meeting him I was a butterfly. For the uninitiated, that has nothing to do with reincarnation. A butterfly, in the bar boy world, is a customer who flits from one boy to the next. And yes. Guilty as charged.

At heart, I still am. There are a lot of real hunky guys in Bangkok’s bars that I’d love to check out. Add in Gay Romeo and Grindr and the roster grows large. Every trip I make, I have intentions of offing a guy or meeting one off the ‘net before hooking up with Noom. But then find myself making a beeline for his bar at the first opportunity instead. I really need to work on that.

When Noom mentions the butterfly thingy, it’s not an accusation. Or a complaint. It’s just Noom reestablishing what we are to each other. For his benefit. At the same time, though not as frequently, being familiar with the type of guy who comes to Thailand to sample numerous guys, he now mentions that if I ever want to go play, I can. I just need to tell him about it first.

That shouldn’t sit as well with me as it does. Being an independent soul, the alluded to ownership coupled with a need to ask permission should piss me off. Eh, well. Maybe I’m finally growing up. More so, that he feels he has the right to make that demand says a lot about how he views our relationship. I know the part about telling him first is all about face, and though I have yet to take him up on his offer, I’m sure if I ever do there will be a plethora of qualifications involved. And something tells me that regardless, he won’t be a happy camper.

nude dude

More recently, I’m the one accusing him of being a butterfly. Which he laughs at. But at the same time is concerned that I just might be serious. About a year ago during a lengthy stay in Bangkok, on several nights he mentioned he wanted to go visit a friend for an hour or two. Cool with me, gave me a chance to catch up on some reading and if anything I was pleased that he had some friend he liked enough to want to spend time with. But soon after coming back to the hotel on his third night out, he started crying and fessed up. He had a regular customer, a regular date, and had been off making a few baht.

I felt bad that he was so upset. He felt bad that he’d been deceiving me. But I guess even for a Buddhist, confession is good for the soul. He was worried that I‘d be angry with him, but still needed to set the record straight. I’m sure the last thing he expected from me as a response was what he got: laughter.

Surprisingly, that he’d been double booking didn’t bother me. I’m too much of a realist, and too aware of what he does for a living for that to have either been shocking or upsetting. If anything, that he’d fessed up to his sins without any prompting on my part, gave me the warm fuzzies. And I was happy for him that he was making some cash.

I’m generous with Noom, but not so much that he doesn’t have to continue working the bar. There are good times when lots of customers are available, and bad times when his bookings are slim. Anytime he can pick up some more cash is fine with me. Besides, his little transgression barely counted as a cinq a sept. So I congratulated him for his business acumen in double booking and gave him a high five. He spent the next day trying to come to terms with the strange falang with whom he was dealing.

nude dude

He’s done so once since then. I’m not sure, but I think it was the same customer. The parameters of his ‘date’ were the same: an hour or so in the early evening and then back to me a bit richer. This time he told me about it up front. And got another congratulatory high-five. And was just as confused by my reaction. That was the first time he brought up that it’d be okay for me to stray. Too. It seemed to be his attempt at balancing our relationship, at showing he could be as generous in allowing me some freedom. I don’t think I am actually supposed to take him up on that offer though. And that’s cool. I get my thrills from being able to call him a butterfly. Any excuse to razz him is good in my book.

When I call him a butterfly he laughs. Kinda, sorta. The truth in the joke makes it a bit uncomfortable though, which just makes me laugh more. And that caused him no little amount of consternation during our trip to Luang Prabang.

On our second night in town, we headed down Sisavangvong Road around dinner time. Still a bit early for food, and with tons of wats calling, we strolled to the far end of the boulevard to make the trip back hitting a few wats along the way. We’d stopped to wait for the traffic to clear in order to cross the street when a beautiful butterfly, black with neon lime-green stripes on its wings fluttered by. Noom saw it first and pointed it out with an exclamation of, “Beautiful!”

nude dude

I love the way he pronounces that word. He adds an extra syllable to it and it takes on a whole new meaning. Being me, I responded with, “Oh, butterfly. Just like you.”

Ha ha. And a roll of the eyes. Noom puts up with a lot of my shit but is not always as willing to tolerate my sense of humor. The butterfly landed on the ground near our feet and Noom reached down to pick it up while I grimaced with visions of Lennie and his mouse from Of Mice and Men floating in my head. Thanks to his bodybuilding efforts, Noom has more strength in his arms and hands than he realizes. I feared the little butterfly had just met its fate.

But Noom was gentle, and raised it to head level so he could stare into its eyes. They seemed to reached some level of understanding and agreement and he lowered it to his shoulder where it happily perched. For the next two hours. Luang Prabang was incredible and I experienced many wonders on that trip but nothing quite as delightful as my boy strolling through town with a butterfly hitching a ride on his arm. And watching him trying to act like it was no big thing but at the same time making sure anyone we passed noticed his new friend, was endearing.

Sometime during dinner, I noticed his buddy had flown the coop and mentioned its absence to Noom. His was an “Oh No!’ reaction. And then he caught himself and settled back down, acting as though it was no big thing. But then couldn’t stop himself from taking quick, less than surreptitious glances about to try and spot his butterfly either. Fortunately, I’d caught his friend’s picture on both my camera and Noom’s. With the exception of his long talk with the Phra Bang, for Noom I don’t think anything else about our trip topped his evening out wearing a butterfly.

I butterfly

Noom's Buddy

During the rest of the trip he checked out every butterfly that flew by to see if it was his little buddy coming back for a visit. And I made numerous comments about the butterfly in his soul being one with those flying about. Evidently in Noom’s mind the gods had agreed and he was good with that, accepting my razzing with the proud proclamation, “I butterfly.”

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