Noom – my bar boy friend and current love of my life – is a Hindu. But that is a fairly recent event. As are most Thais, he was born and raised in the Buddhist faith. His conversion to Hinduism is thanks to the elephant god Ganesha, with whom Noom has cut a deal: he makes proper reverence and honors the big trunked guy and in return Ganesha makes sure Noom gets all of the materialistic things he desires. The rest of the Hindu religious practices go unobserved. Noom is good at setting his priorities.

Actually abandoning the Buddhist faith, just because he is now a Hindu, makes no sense – Thai logic at work. And so Noom continues to observe all the trappings of his country’s faith, as every good Thai does. That’s a good thing for me. I’m a big fan of Buddhist temples (and monks). I’d hate to have to only visit Hindu temples in Thailand to honor my boy’s religion. The Hindu religion, with all due respect, is a bit too pagan for my tastes. And has far too many gods for me to keep track of. Sure there is the appeal that some, like Vishnu, frequently change gender. But then they also change names. And can be god-like or devil-like depending on the day of the week. Personally, I don’t think gods should be quite so human-like.

But then Noom doesn’t think much about my religion either, or at least of the religion of my country – which officially is non-secular but still trumpets God throughout daily life, including on our money. Thai logic has a global reach. It’s not that Noom is anti-Christian, but rather that that faith just doesn’t make a lot of sense to him. He summed his feelings up one day, telling me, “Critan god not good.”

Huh. Not a Buddhist-like statement. I asked him to explain.

“Critan god not real. Can not see.”

Double huh. But a few more questions fleshed out his view. His problem with the Christian faith is that there are no images or statues of God. Jesus, yes. God, not so much. The image of the devil has received major play throughout the ages, but with the exception of Michelangelo’s depiction on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, you just don’t see many pictures of God. And certainly no statues. In Noom’s idea of religion, you need a statue, a visible manifestation of the god. If you are going to bow and pray to just air, how in the hell do you know when the proper time to do so is? Maybe that’s why good Christian folk only seem to pray when they are in need. Or want someone they hate smote. (Or is that smitten?)

Rather than confuse the issue by explaining the differences between Christians and those of the Jewish faith re: God, and between God with no image and Jesus who, like Buddha, is depicted in a place of honor at every temple, I went with confusing the issue by bringing up the same god in his Islamic version. Who also has no image. Nor does his prophet Muhammad.

“Dat why Muslim all angry,” Noom reasoned. Out of the mouth of babes. Or a Buddhist.

For an American familiar with how religion is practiced in his own country, simply saying that Thailand is a Buddhist country doesn’t quite cut it. For most in the U.S., religion is something we think about on Sundays. As in: “Oh shit. It’s Sunday. And I missed church again.” In Thailand, Buddhism is part of the peoples’ daily lives. It’s not an afterthought, but as much of a part of their existence as breathing.

You quickly learn, for example, to keep an eye out for temples and shrines when walking down a crowded sidewalk. ‘Cuz all of the Thais in front of you will come to a quick stop, and bow and wai when they pass one. It’s not so much that the precepts of their faith dictate how they conduct themselves as much as it is the outward displays of reverence need to be properly observed. But then it never hurts to drop by a temple and say a quick prayer to Buddha either. How else do you expect to come up with the winning numbers in the lottery?

Noom and I visit a lot of wats together. He seems to enjoy touring a new temple as much as I do. While we share the interest of visiting a new place of worship, how we do so differs. I walk around checking out all the gold and taking tons of photographs (praying a monk will appear and really make the shot). He looks around a bit and then makes a beeline for The Buddha to kneel before and pray. Sometimes his knees barely hit the floor before he’s done. Other times he’ll spend a good half hour deep in conversation with the symbol of his god.

I try to give Noom privacy when he is praying, it seems the respectful thing to do. But some wats are too small and instead I stand quietly while he finishes his duty. I can not understand everything he says when he is chatting with Buddha, but pick out enough words that I’ve come to realize his is not a by rote religious litany but rather a personal conversation. He explains what is going on in his life, and then asks for assistance where it is needed. I’ve also come to realize that his relationship with the deities is very real. And personal. What I did not realize though, until our recent trip to Laos together, was just how he views the statues I’ve seen him kneel before countless times during our visits to wats throughout SE Asia.

When we encounter a new wat, shrine, or Buddha, Noom makes a pronouncement on its legitimacy. In his words, it is either ‘It real’ or ‘It not real.’ The latter is sometimes expressed as, ‘It have no power.” Power is evidently gained through prayers offered by supplicants. So where many have left offerings and prayers before, you have a powerful religious icon. Those that don’t get much play, not so much.

At the really powerful places, Noom has a physical reaction. The hair on his arms stands on end. Seriously. When that power manifests itself, he doesn’t bother with words but just points out the phenomenon to me. Regardless of your personal religious beliefs, that type of reaction is awesome. It’s a religious experience even if it’s not the religion you subscribe to.

That trick is not new and was a frequent occurrence in Luang Prabang. But then we encountered the Phra Bang at the National Museum. It is a statue of Buddha from Sri Lanka from the 1st century and from which the town derives its name. I’ve seen bigger Buddhas, bigger shrines, shrines with more gold-leaf, and Buddhas that just have a more serenity-inducing mien. But I’ve never witnessed quite such a reaction in Noom as he had with the Phra Bang. Major power. Major mojo going on. And he spent close to an hour deep in conversation with the Phra Bang.

Normally after he is done spending time with Buddha, we go merrily on our way to whatever site I’ve decided we need to see next. This time, he needed to share. He started by explaining that he’d first introduce himself to the Buddha. That included a brief history of Noom and his family (several generations ago his family came from Laos, and it was important to establish the local angle). He’d also introduced me (I’d caught the look toward me and nod during his prayer and wondered what that was about). In telling me about it, he used the third person, repeating my full name, which he never quite gets right but which always makes my heart melt anyway because he is so serious when using that form. (And truth be told I like several of his versions of my name better than the real one anyway.)

He’d gone on to recount to the Phra Bang why we were in Laos (it was for his benefit as opposed to business for me, which meant a lot to Noom and he assumed it would for The Buddha, too). And outlined where we’d been, what we’d seen, conversations we’d had . . . evidently Buddha is into details. But while he was rattling off the blow by blow of the blow by blow he’d provided the Phra Bang, it finally dawned on me: to Noom, a statue of The Buddha is not just a representation of the Buddha. It is the Buddha. But a specific version of him as opposed to an all-encompassing one.

An image of Jesus on the cross is found in every Christian church. They are all different and unique, but are also all the same: they are an image, a representation of Jesus, nothing more. Christians do not view one of those images as an actual being. But when Noom encounters a statue of The Buddha, it is not just an idea but rather a very real entity. It is not just a facsimile. And each is unique. What you discuss with one does not automatically become part of the knowledge base of the others.

More so, it is not an faceless entity Noom prays to, but a very specific being. The one but a foot or two in front of him. I know there is The Buddha, and there are Buddhas, though usually the statue at a wat is of The Buddha. How, in Noom’s mind, he is different from one wat to the next, or if it is just a ‘power’ thing I can’t figure out. But the Phra Bang, thanks to age, is very powerful.

Noom would have been quite content if all we’d done during our trip was to visit the Phra Bang. There were more Buddhas in Laos that got an earful from Noom, but he pinned most of his hopes and aspirations on the expected results of his talk with the Phra Bang. And though he did not share with me the specifics of just what he’d asked the Phra Bang for assistance with, I’m sure it was quite detailed. When it comes to the gods, Noom leaves little to chance.

It’s touching that knowing I’m an ingrate and not about to kneel down and carry on a conversation of my own, Noom forgives my ignorance and includes me, and my needs, in his conversations with Buddha. Where ever, and in whatever form he takes. And it must be effective. Because Noom and my relationship continues. And I’ll offer up thanks to anyone’s god for that.

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