I’ve always been spelling impaired. My computer’s spellchecker scolding me is a non-stop flight to aggravation. Daily. For both of us. But then my continued lack of being able to spell words correctly is largely my computer’s fault. I don’t have to remember that it is i before e except after c, blah blah blah, because my computer will take care of that little bit of pedantry for me. The danger comes when I’m away from my computer and have to rely on my own ingrained abilities. Then my only option is to avoid all words that have both an i and an e in them.

I don’t have that problem when I’m in Thailand. Nobody can agree on how to spell a lot of words – at least their English version – in the Kingdom. Even the Thai government can’t seem to decide which spelling is correct for some of the more well-known areas, sites, and streets in Bangkok. Thailand is a spelling impaired person’s heaven. You just can’t go wrong.

Suriwong is one of the two bordering streets of Patpong, an area heavily trafficked by English speaking visitors. So is Suriwongse. Ditto for Surawong. It’s probably more important to know where the street is than how to spell it, but the abundance of proper spellings for the avenue can be confusing for a newbie to Bangkok. If you decide you want a hotel close to the action, and would prefer being on Suriwong, you’ll pass on booking hotels on Suriwongse. Or you could just say the hell with it and book a room at the Suriwongse on Surawong (but that’s really a short-time hotel). The numerous spellings for Suriwong are a boon to the spelling impaired, but an added difficulty for those who have trouble reading a map. Most finally concede they’re lost and hop into a tuk tuk for a 100 baht ride to their destination. A block and a half away.

Assuming visitors can find their hotel on Suriwong and didn’t instead give up and just fly back home, a lot of them head out to the Chatuchak Market on the weekend. The huge flea-market like extravaganza is a draw for visitors and locals alike. But a lot more locals go to Jatujak instead. And many more avoid the confusion and spend their Saturday at JJ’s. I’ve never been to any of those three, but make sure I spend at least one day on every trip at the Weekend Market . . . that’s kinda like avoiding the whole i after e thingy. With the flood waters slowly creeping into the center of the city, right now all four of those markets are a preferable destination to the Mo Chit Market, where it’s been reported vendors have packed up their stock and headed for drier climes.

Not all multiple correct name spellings are about spelling in Bangkok. There are about 1.2 million Thais packed into the capital city and space is at a premium. The Thai government has decreed it mandatory to not waste space, especially on street signs. Charoen Krung Road streets signs, for example, all read Charoenkrung Road. That’s fairly typical for street signs throughout Bangkok. At least on those that they haven’t spelled Road as Thanon. (BTW, if you are not familiar with Charoenkrung Road, it runs along the Chaophraya River. While, of course Charoen Krung Road runs along the Chao Phraya. I’m not quite sure where Thanon Charoenkrung is.)

Thais have figured out that some farang, and a few falang, will eventuality make sense out of their love of multiple spellings and fear of open spaces. That’s not a good thing because it’s the totally confused and bewildered visitors who are more likely to buy into the ‘The Grand Palace Is Closed’ scam and go on a 50 baht tuk tuk tour of wats, gem shops, and tailor shops instead. So they’ve added an additional layer of mystery to the Big Mango by giving some places two totally different names. Most visitors make the pilgrimage out to view the Reclining Buddha at Wat Pho. A smaller number get their Reclining Buddha visit in at Wat Phra Chetuphon. The former is located on Maharat Road, the latter on Thanon Maha Rat. And if you can keep the alphabet soup straight, while in the area you can also visit Wat Mahathat on Thanon Maharat.

Just another reason I love Thailand. Even when it comes to spelling, it’s up to you.