Here’s a news flash for ya: Asians smoke. A lot. Men, women, and children, they all puff away like there is no tomorrow. As a newbie ex-smoker, I applaud their efforts. I’ve vowed not to become one of those nasty anti-smoking ex-smokers and instead do everything in my power to stand up for the rights of smokers. Don’t hate me for being pro-smoking. There are plenty of better reasons for your hate.

When I lived in Hawaii, the commie-pinko city counsel of Honolulu wanted to ban smoking on beaches. Until the Hawaii Visitors Bureau reminded them that the islands depend on visitors from Japan. And all of them smoke. They banned smoking instead at the Aloha Stadium. An open-air facility. But not too many touri bother taking in an event at the stadium, so that was cool.

At one time you could smoke on airplanes. No. Really. Google it. You could reserve a seat in either the smoking or nonsmoking area. I always bought a nonsmoking seat because if you sat with the rest of the smokers you’d lose a lung on anything over a five hour flight. It was better to have clean air and go join the other disgusting people with a nasty habit when you needed to. The Asian carriers were the last to allow smoking on their flights. So at least for my Asia trips, I always booked with JAL or EVA. But that stopped too. No problemo, airports in Asia always had smoking rooms, so during your transit time you could load up for lost nicotine.

Two years ago they banned smoking at the Taipei airport. They must have thought it was an American facility. There was no warning. In fact, on my trip over the smoking room was there. On my trip back, it was boarded up with a sign explaining that the airport was federal property and as such smoking anywhere on the grounds was prohibited. I considered switching to a Japanese carrier, assuming they wouldn’t pull that crap in Japan, but had to put that move off ‘cuz I had too many frequent flier miles with EVA. I quit smoking before my miles ran out, so no biggy.

I guess that the people of Taipei did not appreciate not being able to smoke in their airport. And voted the bastards who legislated against smoking out. There is once again a smoking room at the Taoyuan Airport. I’m happy for the smokers of the world that they have an airport that appreciates them again.

The smoking room is a quarter of the way up the aisle that leads to the airline lounges, which are on the 3rd floor. I think there is more than one terminal at Taoyuan, but I’ve only ever flown into the one used by EVA. So if you smoke, or want to, and you are in a different terminal for all I know you’re outta luck.

I stumbled on the smoking room by accident. And even though I don’t smoke, I had to check it out because it was labeled as an ‘outdoor smoking room’. I have to assume that was their work-around for whatever law prohibits smoking in the terminal. The room is fairly large and spacious. And amazingly smoke-free; the air circulation system blows all the smoke outside. It’s a nice room. Most smoking rooms at airports are small cubbyholes. And you don’t really need to light-up when you enter, instead you can just inhale a nice lung full of secondhand smoke. The old smoking room at that terminal was the inhale the existing smoke style. So a two year ban actually ended up being a good thing. Smokers got a more enjoyable facility.

On a roll, I thought for nostalgia’s sake I should check out my old haunt at the Bangkok Airport too. Soon after deplaning, there are a set of smoking rooms along the lower concourse, one on each side of the walkway. Smokers are not known for their physical endurance, so Thailand installed a smoking room to service those walking in either direction; there’s no need to cross a twenty foot aisle when the tobacco jones hits. I always used to stop there and get my nicotine fix. Especially after Taipei quit allowing me to get my fix at their facility.

Bangkok went a different route than Taipei. Instead of an ‘outdoor’ room they installed a huge machine that takes up 80% of the smoking room. It has ashtrays around its perimeter and the central portion is a large blower to chase the smoke away. Away to where, they never decided as their are no exhaust ducts. Nor did it seem the blowers were very forceful; I put my hand above to feel the air and got nada. An old German guy who was puffing away laughed and then pointed toward his feet. I had to scuttle crab-like around the machine to see what he was pointing at. It was the machine’s plug. Laying on the floor. With no electrical outlet anywhere in sight to make the machine operable. Intent has always mattered more in Thailand than function.

Taipei recognized that their citizens smoke and found a way to accommodate their habit. Thailand handled the same problem in a quintessential Thai manner. Both countries at least made some effort to appease their smoking visitors, a nice gesture seeing as how those smokers lives will be short anyway. Not so in America. You can’t smoke in US airports. Instead we designate smoking areas outside the terminal, off in a small corner that accumulates diesel fumes and offers no protection from inclement weather. The US government would probably like to get rid of even those areas, but instead allow the righteous non-smokers an opportunity to ridicule those who still need their nicotine.

Thailand has always been the master of the mixed message. No reason to be any different when it comes to smoking. You can buy cigarettes in Thailand. They are cheap. And available at every 7/11. But by law are hidden behind the counter. With large sale signs alerting you to what is hidden away. Again, by law, smoking is now a no-no in clubs and bars. So when you walk in you will not see any ashtrays. Until you pull your pack of smokes out. Then a nice man will bring you an ashtray so you can smoke your little heart out.

Thailand would probably like the brownie points it would get by banning smoking everywhere in the country, but the Boys in Brown make too much tea money out of fining unsuspecting tourists who drop their cigarette butts on the ground. That fine starts at 2,000 baht. And drops as quickly as your butt did if you plead poverty. Or ask to speak to a superior officer. You may think the best way to avoid that problem is to not litter. But it is easier to hand your butt to a Thai to drop. Locals are not susceptible to cigarette butt littering fines.

So, yes, international visitors can smoke at Bangkok’s airport. Domestic passengers, not so much. The smoking rooms in the domestic terminal have all recently been closed. But if you are a big fan of bad habits that will bring an early end to your life, don’t despair. A McDonald’s has been added to the domestic terminal food court. And the Muslim prayer rooms are still in existence, too. Though not usually considered a deadly habit, with the way Obama has been going at it lately, practicing the Islamic faith is becoming an iffy proposition.